Ruin Me (64 page)

Every nerve in my body quivers against him as he holds me with ease. “Why are you doing this, Tobias?” I ask him. “One minute, you say you can’t touch me, and the next—”

“I’ve wanted you since the moment I saw you.” A low growl teases me on the edge of his quiet tone. “I saw you… standing in her room and I felt
alive
, Claire. I touched you and I haven’t been able to sit still since.”

“Then why stop?” I tremble. “Why not just take what you want?”

“I’m not that kind of man,” he says with heavy breath. “I won’t try to take from you what he did.” He grip softens and he takes a slow step back.

“What if I give it to you?” I ask, leaning forward into his arms again.

“If that’s what you want, Claire…” he says, “then I will be there for you, but we have to do this right.”

I step back. “You want to wait.”

He nods. “It’s the right thing to do.”

I bite my lips with frustration. They want so badly to feel him against them, to feel the bite of his teeth and the caress of his tongue. My mouth waters. My senses quiver. He’s so close. I could taste him right now if I wanted to, but I know he’s right. It may be the right thing, but it feels so very wrong. “Okay,” I whisper against my will.

His hands move down my body, but he fights his own temptations and steps away from me.

Chapter 11

Code Of Conduct

“Happy birthday, honey.”

I lean against the kitchen doorway with the phone against my ear. “Thanks, Mom,” I say. My mother’s voice sounds strange to me now, even though it’s only been a week since I last heard it and almost three since I’ve seen her face. It couldn’t have changed, so I can only assume that it’s me that’s changed and not the other way around.

Charlie lingers in front of me with his arms crossed about his chest. I shoot him a glare and he retreats back to the table with his coffee. I turn around and face the empty living room.

“Have you had a good day?”

I smile. “Not bad.”

“Anything special happen?”

“Well, I
think
today is the first day since I got here where I didn’t get a single mosquito bite,” I say. “Either that, or I just don’t feel it anymore.”

My mother laughs. “Well, that’s something.”

“I guess.” A silence falls between us for a few moments. I can feel Charlie’s eyes on me, burning a hole into the back of my head. I peak over my shoulder and confirm my suspicion. Another quick glare in his direction and he turns in his seat to pretend to focus on his paper.

“Charlie told me you’re feeling pretty stable now,” she says.

“Yeah.”

“Have any fun plans for the weekend? I thought I’d come down and get you so you don’t have to bus back. There’s a great new shop that just opened on—”

“Mom…” I begin, “there’s something that I need to say.”

She pauses. I hear her breath strike the phone, a quick and sudden sigh. “Okay,” she says.

“It’s not anything horrible, I just…” I bite my lip, trying hard to choose the right words. “I’m going to be staying here for a little while longer.”

“Oh?” she asks. “He said you were ready to go.”

“Yeah, I am but… I’ve been making some good progress here,” I say, nodding at no one. “I don’t want to go just yet.”

“Are you sure?” I can hear the hesitation in her voice. She never wanted to send me away in the first place, that much is certain. It was my stepfather’s idea, but she never fought it either. “I was looking forward to having you back.”

“I know. Me, too. But… I need more time.”

The last thing I want is to be put back in that environment. Charlie told me that in order to heal, you have to eliminate what caused the pain in the first place. My stepfather. Rick. Chicago. Everything about them set me up to fail. Now that I’ve felt a new life without that pain, I don’t want to take steps back. I want to move forward and I can do that here.

“All right, Claire,” she says. “If that’s what you think you need…”

“It is,” I reply. “I’ll talk to you again soon.” I quickly hang the phone up. My hand lingers on the hard plastic receiver while I take several deep breaths to calm my nerves.

“That sounded like it went well.”

I turn around and look at Charlie. “Could have gone worse.”

“How did she take it?” he asks.

“Good,” I say. “I don’t think she was expecting it though.”

“I think you made the right call.”

“I think so, too,” I say. A clear feeling nestles in my head.

“So, when were you going to ask me if you could stay longer?” he smiles.

I blink. “Oh yeah…”

Charlie stands up from the table. “I’m kidding,” he says. “Claire, you can stay here for as long as you feel you need to.”

I let out a soft chuckle. “Thank you.”

“Lord knows I could use the help around here.”

“I’ll earn my keep,” I tell him. “I promise.”

“I know you will.” A knock strikes the front door. “But first…” He gestures for me to answer it.

I turn around and walk passed the stairwell into the foyer. Charlie follows me in and leans against the kitchen doorway.

I open the door to find Amy standing on the front porch wearing a short, black skirt, a red blouse, and killer heels. The setting sun burns the sky behind her blonde head. “Hey, Amy,” I greet with suspicion. “What’s up?”

She grins. “I’ve come to kidnap you!”

“Umm…” I glance back at Charlie and he smiles.

“It’s your birthday,” Amy says. “It’s time to
party
!”

I turn around. “What’s this?” I ask Charlie.

He shrugs. “Work. Reward.”

A smile attacks my lips. “Really? You’re letting me go out for the night?”

“You only turn eighteen once,” he says, then quickly points a finger. “But you are going to
be careful and safe.
”

“Oh, I promise!” I say, excitement building in my chest.

“And Tobias is going with you.”

“Ah, boo!” Amy teases. “A
chaperone
.”

“Amy…” Charlie raises an eyebrow.

“I’m only kidding, Mr. Eastwood. We’ll be happy to take him with us.” She looks back at me. “Go get changed into something slutty.”

I look at Charlie and shake my head as he glares back at her. “She’s just joking,” I say quickly.

“Oh, yeah, totally,” she says to him as she steps inside. She quickly spins back around.
‘No, I’m not
,’ she mouths silently.

I laugh and close the front door.

***

“Where are we going?” I ask as I watch the dark highway pass by us from the window of Amy’s car.

“Jefferson City,” she replies.

“What’s in Jefferson City?” I ask as I fiddle with ends of my skirt, yet another loan from the back of Mary’s closet. I didn’t want to wear it, but Amy insisted on it. Then I saw Tobias’ reaction to it and I knew I had to keep it on.

“Clubs, my friend.” A grin crosses Amy’s red lips. “Clubs that you can’t find where we come from, that’s for damn sure. Might as well make use of that new age bracket when Charlie lets you out, am I right?”

“Sounds like fun,” I say.

She reaches out and adjusts her rear view mirror to get a better look at Tobias in the backseat. “Unless our bodyguard has any objections,” she teases.

“I don’t care where you go,” he says. “I’m just here to make sure you don’t do anything stupid.”

“Implying I’ve done stupid things before…”

“I’m not implying anything, Amy,” he chuckles. “But to be fair, you do run the local branch of an illegal fighting championship.”

“A championship that
you
better win
, Toby…” she warns. “You’re the first fighter from our area to make it to the final round in nearly a decade.”

I turn around in my seat. “Is that true?” I ask him.

“Apparently,” he mutters.

“
And
if he wins, I get a big, fat bonus check,” Amy smirks at him again in the mirror. “So, make sure you eat lots of protein, get plenty of rest, and kick Pike’s mangy ass tomorrow night.”

He glances out the window. “I don’t plan on losing,” he says.

She revs the engine. “That’s my boy.”

I stare at him as a smile climbs to my lips. His eyes flick in my direction, a stunning forest green that reflects back at me as the streetlights pass by overhead. “What?” he asks.

“Nothing,” I say before turning back around to face forward.

Amy digs her heel a little harder into the gas pedal. “So, what’s the deal with you two? You fucking yet?”

I jerk in her direction with wide eyes.

“Real smooth, Amy,” Tobias says.

“What?” She looks at me and shrugs her shoulders. “I’m just curious.” Her eyes glance back to the road. “It’s fine. You don’t have to tell me.”

“Wasn’t going to,” he replies.

Amy grins silently again, but casts a knowing glance my way. I swallow down a nervous tremble and bite my lip as I remember his kiss on it once more.

***

After an hour of thumping bass, I almost miss the calmness of the farmhouse. It’s strange how so much can change in so little time. This used to be all I lived for. I’d wake up in the morning and wonder where the next party was going to be. It’s only been a few weeks, but it feels like a lifetime ago.

“A vodka tonic for me,” Amy says as she returns from the bar. “And two waters for the squares.” She sets one glass down in front of me at our table and another in front of Tobias.

“Thanks,” I tell her as I take a sip. I relish in the cold, icy drink as it falls down my warm throat.

“I almost forgot that you’re only eighteen,” she jokes over the loud music. “And you, Toby…” She points a finger at him. “No alcohol for you. I need you hydrated.”

He grabs his glass and smiles. “Just let me know if you need me to drive us home.”

Amy scoffs. “No one drives my baby but
me.
”

“Then take it easy on the vodka tonics,” he warns.

“I will. I have to open the store tomorrow anyway.”

I take another sip of water. “Why do you work in the grocery store?” I ask. “Don’t you make enough money from the fights alone?”

Amy grins. “Yes, I do.” She leans forward. “But it’d be quite suspicious if I were suddenly raking in money without a job, wouldn’t it?”

I nod. “You live a secret cover life, too?”

“We live in a really small town, Claire,” Amy says. “If you want to blend in, you have to make some sacrifices. My personal sacrifice is twenty hours a week behind a counter for two bucks above minimum wage. My mother did the same thing.”

“And no one knew she ran the league?” I ask.

She shakes her head. “No one in town except for a few local fighters and the handful of cops she paid off.”

“Does anyone know
you
run the league?”

“No.”

“Not even your father?”

She brings her glass to her lips. “My father thinks I’m the checkout girl at the local grocery store,” she says. “That’s all he needs to know.” Her eyes fall on Tobias. “There are plenty of people that wouldn’t be too happy to know about our secret lives.”

I turn to Tobias and he nods softly.

“Amy!”

We look up and I flinch as a familiar face suddenly emerges from the busy crowd. He pushes through people, darting fast towards Amy’s seat.

Burt the Brute.

“Oh, hello, Burt!” she greets with a smile.

His dark eyes scan our table and rest on Tobias. “I
fucking
knew it.”

“Knew what?” Amy asks him.

Burt reaches for Amy. His thick fingers wrap around her little arm. “You’re fooling around on me again, aren’t you? In
my
town?!”