Rude Awakening (9 page)

He wondered if the bath water had eased her aching muscles yet, or whether she’d fallen asleep cocooned in bubble-filled water scented with lilac and rosemary, the bath essence he’d bought for her today.

While out, he’d had the urge to pamper her, to buy everything in sight a woman might need or want, but although she’d allowed him to purchase a goodly amount, she’d made a point of telling him she’d pay back every penny when she was back on her feet.

He didn’t want the money back. He just wanted to see her settled and happy, her head full of the knowledge that the sexual lifestyle she’d chosen wasn’t to be one of horror or fear. He could only hope he’d save her in time, that her Master hadn’t done too much damage, and that his teachings would override those that had come before.

The soft patter of her footsteps brought him out of his reverie. He propped the broom against the side and turned to see her standing in the doorway. She looked beautiful, if a little thin, in a black sheer gown, and he hoped that by her living here for a while her figure would soon fill out. She’d eaten the fish and chips earlier as though ravenous, and he’d felt for her going without enough food for so long.

He smiled and soaked in the sight of her. The tone of her skin, rosy from her bath, gave her a healthy glow and him the need to stroke it. She’d washed her hair, damp tendrils splayed over her chest, and he wondered whether he’d ever get the chance to hold it in his fist and tug, Ruby unafraid of what he was doing.

“Do you feel comfortable wearing that?” he asked, wanting to know whether his choice had been right, that she hadn’t just agreed to the purchase to make him happy.

“Yes. I haven’t been allowed to wear a negligee for a long time. I feel”—she blushed—“sexy.”

“Good.” He cleared his throat, the stirrings of desire beginning at the base of his cock. “Are you ready to begin what we discussed in the sex shop?” To stave off a full-on erection, he poured two glasses of white wine, then approached her, holding one out.

She took it, fingers brushing his. His cock jumped and he chewed the inside of his cheek. He didn’t need a hard-on now, not when they were about to embark on something that might frighten and embarrass her.

“Yes,” she said. “I think so.” She bit her bottom lip.

His heart sped up. “If you’re not certain…”

“No, no, I’m certain. It’s just… You’re only going to be my teacher, right?”

A glut of sadness and disappointment pooled in his gut, but he smiled reassuringly and said, “Yes, if that’s how you want it to be.”

He frowned at what he’d said. Hadn’t that been the whole idea, him being her teacher then sending her on her way? Why, then, did it sting when she’d made that point clear? Did he want more from her, was that it? Oh, he’d been wanting a sub like her for some time, one who was willing to share her likes and dislikes with him instead of just being a yes-girl. But was he ready to become more seriously involved? With someone as broken as Ruby?

He was surprised to realise he was.

She sipped her wine then lowered the glass. “It’s probably best that way, right? I mean, you’re some hot-shot solicitor. You wouldn’t want the likes of me hanging around for too long, and I—”

“Is that what you think?” He took a step forward and placed his fingers on her arm, wanting to touch yet not wanting to scare her with a full-on grip to her biceps as he would have done to any other woman.

“Well, stands to reason I’m not your type. We get on and all that, but… Look, I’ve got a runaway mouth on me, what with my swearing, and there’s no way a bloke like you would want some common piece on his arm permanently. So yes, it’s probably best that you teach me, make me understand what it’s really all about, then I’ll bugger off and leave you to it.”

“I don’t want you to bugger off,” he blurted.

She widened her eyes and clutched her glass tighter, droplets of condensation trickling over her fingers. “Oh.” She turned away then, head bowed, a frown firmly in place, and walked out of the room.

He’d gone too far, too quickly, hadn’t he? Suddenly unsure whether to follow or give her space, he gulped some wine and considered the best course of action. Nothing had surprised him more than the speed with which he’d become attached to her. He thought about her leaving after her training was done and knew it would hurt. Was it her vulnerability, often covered with her brash words and fake bravado, that made him want to take care of her? Was it the way she was a breath of fresh air in that she said things exactly as she saw them, not thinking of how it might sound to him?

He supposed it was. And the latter? He was pleased she felt able to do that, because it obviously hadn’t been allowed with her former Dom. She was honest, not out to snare him for his money, and he appreciated that trait after recent relationships had ended with the women revealing themselves to be gold diggers. Ruby was eager to learn, and he, in turn, was eager to teach. Until she expressed the admission she didn’t want to bugger off either, he’d tell himself she was his pupil and nothing more.

Whether he believed his own lies remained to be seen.

* * * *

She sat before him on the rug, legs crossed, hands in the space between them. Her knees, shins and feet were on display, her negligee pooled beneath her fingers. She’d closed her eyes as he’d instructed, and the fire crackled behind her, drying her hair into crinkles.

“Now tell me what you want,” he said. “The ultimate fantasy.”

Her eyes flickered, and she parted her lips as though she was about to say something but had thought better of it. Or she wasn’t brave enough or ready to tell him what he wanted to know.

“It doesn’t matter that I’m sitting in front of you,” he said. “The lamp doesn’t show you too much—you’re kind of in shadow. Pretend you’re alone.”

“It’s difficult because I bloody
know
you’re there!”

He smiled, holding back a chuckle. “If you want to learn…”

“All right, all right, keep your hair on!”

Laughter barked out of him before he could stop it, and she smiled, the self-conscious kind, and gripped the negligee hem. He felt for her, he really did, and wondered whether it was too soon for her to express herself when she was still so raw. That thought sobered him.

“I…” She sighed. “Sod it. How hard can it be?”

“Only as hard as you make it.”

“Now that sounded rude…”

“It did, but it wasn’t meant that way, I assure you.”

“Shame.”

She bunched her eyes tight, obviously cursing herself for letting her feelings slip out, but that one word gave him hope. Dare he dream she wanted him as more than her teacher?

Don’t get your hopes up, man. Teach and be done with it.

“So tell me,” he prompted. “What do you dream about?”

She sighed again and pressed her lips together. “Okay. All right. I can do this.” A pause, then, “I want… God, I just want a man to touch me without the need to hurt. No, that doesn’t sound right. I want to be hurt, but not in the way where the pain is given spitefully. Make sense?”

“Perfect sense. Go on.”

He stared at her cheeks, growing redder by the second, and longed to stop this exercise until she was more comfortable in his company.

Evidently she already was, because she went on. “I want smacks to my arse, but not too hard, and I want several, one after the other, then some space to appreciate them, to wait until my arse stops stinging before I’m smacked again. I want to be able to suck…oh, God…suck a man without his hands clamped on my head for the purpose of him directing how I do it, how deep he goes, holding my head still so he can just ram it in until I choke. And I especially don’t want to do that while being whipped so hard I bleed.”

A tear trickled down her cheek.

Jesus Christ…

“I don’t mind being tied up,” she said, her voice brighter, “but not with anything where I can’t break free. I like the illusion of being bound for good but with the reality I can tug my arms and the ties come off.” She shrugged. “I don’t think I want the full-on BDSM scene really, do I? My experience of it has been so…harsh that it might have put me off enjoying it now.”

He understood where she was coming from. “Maybe you’ll want more as time goes by. When you’ve started from the beginning and built trust. It’s going to be difficult for you to fully let go, to embrace the pain as something pleasurable, without memories from the past making you tense and frightened.”

“I know, but I feel safe with you, like I know you won’t hurt me. I should be afraid of every man, but I’m not. Just of
him.
”

So this Master hadn’t ruined her totally, then. She’d got away just in time. Who knew what she’d have ended up like if she’d stayed even a fortnight more? He admitted he was relieved at this latest piece of news—it made him feel less of an animal for wanting her the way he did. If she wasn’t afraid of him, it would make his teachings a hell of a lot easier.

“So, are you ready to show me what you mean about sucking cock?” he asked.

She gasped, but there was no other way to put it. He may as well be blunt, continue in the way he’d always done, direct and to the point.

She nodded, fingers scrunching the fabric again before she let it go and clasped her knees. He picked up the vibrator from beside him and held it out. She felt for it, holding it by the base and raising it to chest height.

“This is so embarrassing,” she said. “I don’t think I can…”

“If you feel uncomfortable, then don’t do it. If it helps, think of it as a real cock. Imagine you’re pleasuring a man who wants nothing more than the feel of your mouth around him. He has no intention of harming you, just wants you to do what comes naturally.”

Pretend you’re sucking me.

She breathed in through her nose and lifted the vibrator some more until the tip rested on her bottom lip. The sight of it there, its shape and texture that of a real cock, had his dick straining in his pants. She rubbed it across her lip, and he imagined how that would feel, her soft mouth skimming the ridge of his head, breath whispering over his slit.

He squirmed and swallowed tightly.

She dashed out her tongue, then withdrew it again, as if conscious that Harry watched her every move. After another sigh, she tried it again, peeking her tongue out slower this time, licking the head in a gentle swirl from one side to the other. Christ, she was turning him on and she’d hardly done anything.

Closing her lips around the head, she pushed the vibrator into her mouth, lips stretched around the girth, gliding over the fake veins that protruded along its length. She reached halfway down and pulled back up, cheeks hollowing, then took it from her mouth, holding it between her legs. He thought for a moment she was going to lift her negligee and insert the phallus inside her, but she didn’t.

Wishful thinking…

Instead, she said, “It’s too hard. The vibrator, I mean. It isn’t like the real thing.”

“Call it what it is.”

“It isn’t like a real…a real cock. Do I have to use it? Can’t I just show you how I like to do it on you?” She kept her eyes closed.

“Uh, I don’t think that’s a good idea, Ruby.”
Oh, God…she’s driving me crazy.

“Don’t you want me to suck you?”

“Jesus…” He sighed. “Yes, I want you to suck my dick, but darling, now isn’t the right time. You’re vulnerable—”

“Yes, so you keep saying, but I’ll never not be vulnerable if you keep treating me as though I am. You agreed to teach me, yet you’re blocking my way forward by making out I’m some scared little thing who doesn’t know what she wants. Like I said just now,
he
scares me,
you
don’t. I know exactly what I want, and right now it’s you. So, can I suck your cock or not?”

He widened his eyes, stuck for a response.

After all, how the hell could he reply to
that?

Chapter Seven

The only sound in the room apart from their breathing was the crackling of the fire, the delightful heat giving her, she hoped, an attractive rosy glow. For so long she’d knelt for Master, but instead of her eyes being shut by her own free will as they were now, Master had forced her to close them, covering her with darkness.

Would Harry let her suck him? She’d noticed his growing dick earlier, even though he’d tried to hide it. The way he was always so careful around her made her heart melt and her body ache with the need to feel more. Harry truly cared, and her mind couldn’t move from the kiss they’d shared earlier in the chip shop. As far as she was concerned, when she went there in future she’d stand and reminisce about him and that kiss.

Will he want to keep me?

Ruby couldn’t be thinking about her future in such a way. Placing the fake cock on the floor, she ran her hands over her knees, rubbing the sweat on her palms away. Would he present himself to her? For years she’d wanted to give head her way, to give her loving attention to the male organ she loved so much.

It was true what she’d said earlier. She wasn’t afraid of other men, just the one man…Master.

“I’m sorry, let’s forget about this,” Ruby said.

Silence was a horrid weapon to use on a woman who’d been kept in the dark for so long, although she doubted Harry meant to keep her in suspense. She kept her eyes closed even as she moved to get up.