Rubbed Raw (38 page)

I sniffled. “I really love you, Chad.”

“I know, baby; just not like I love you.”

Giovanni and I could have both died that night. It was so close. The possible outcomes started to come back to me, and I clutched Chad harder, my hands shaking again.

“Baby, it’s gonna be all right. Take it easy. You didn’t lose him.” He squeezed me a bit. “Please let the what ifs go. I know you’re letting them get to you.”

I looked up at him. “How do you do that?”

“I know you.” He smiled, tears still falling. He caressed my cheek then pulled my head against him again. “You’re both alive. Please just take this day as a gift. I feel every day I get to see you, is a gift.” He was full of wisdom that day. I wish I knew why.

“You guys all right?” Giovanni suddenly asked, putting a hand on each of us.

I lifted my head. “It was just really scary.”

Chad let me go and kissed my forehead. “She’s still pretty shaken up. Please take care of her.” He put a hand on Giovanni’s shoulder. “I’m glad you’re OK, too.” Then he started to walk away.

“Wait.” Giovanni put an arm around my back. “I need to ask you something important.”

Chad turned back to us. “Ask me tomorrow. Crystal needs you.”

“I need to say it now, while it’s on my mind, please.”

“What?”

“Life’s too short, and it ain’t worth being jealous. So, if something happens to me, I want you to marry Crystal and make her happy.”

I pushed Giovanni away. “Don’t talk like that!”

“I’m sorry, but that shit scared me. I gotta know you’ll be OK if I’m gone.”

Chad put a hand on Giovanni’s shoulder. “Not now, man. She can’t deal with it.”

“Promise me you’ll do it, Chad.”

“Fine, I swear I’ll marry her if you…”

“Shut up!” I shouted.

Chad grabbed me and held me close. “Baby, I know. I know. You don’t wanna hear it. Let him deal with it his way. You’ll never be alone. I promise.”

“I’m sorry I said it in front of you, my love, but I… I worry sometimes.”

“Don’t ever leave me,” I cried out. I threw my arms around Giovanni. He held me tightly.

All the fear and dread was back. I knew he was just as shaken up by the near miss as I was, but his reaction hurt so much. I even cried as he carried me to bed.

I woke up in Giovanni’s arms screaming in the middle of the night.

Giovanni quickly pulled me closer to him. “It’s OK. What happened?”

I clutched him tightly. “You were thrown off! I saw you die,” I cried out to him as my tears fell fast.

“Ssshh,” he said soothingly. “I’m here, still alive. It was just a bad dream.” He rubbed my back. “I know it was scary. I wasn’t sure I could hold the bike up, but I did somehow. I just kept thinking of keeping you safe.”

I buried my face in his bare chest and started sobbing. “I can’t lose you.”

“You won’t.” He kissed the top of my head. “Take a deep breath. We’re both fine.”

I sucked in a shaky breath and tried to relax.

“That’s it. I got you. Nothing’s gonna happen. Just hold onto me and close your eyes. I won’t let go.”

After a few minutes, his breathing lulled me to sleep again.

I woke up to loud knocking the next morning. Giovanni was stirring, but not fully awake. I got up and threw my robe on. Chad was on the other side of the door.

“Baby, you won’t believe this!” He exclaimed, holding his laptop. When he came inside, he yelled, “Giovanni, get up. You gotta see this.”

A sleepy looking Giovanni came out, wearing shorts. “Chad, it’s like seven in the morning.”

“I know. I couldn’t sleep.” Chad sat on the couch and opened his laptop. “This is so cool.”

I sat next to him and put a hand on his thigh. “What is?”

“Just listen.” He smiled and started reading.

“I liked this CD before I evened opened the shrink wrap. The cover art is a picture of the female bassist, Crystal Atkinson, naked and spread-eagled on the floor with all three of the male band members groping her. Could that be an indicator what the band’s name Triple Threat means? Maybe, but that is just the beginning of the skin she shows off. There are pictures of her all over the insert. Many young men will probably buy the CD just for the photos.

Frontman Chris Bradley is utterly unbelievable. His range and tone are of a caliber not found often in the rock genre. He makes the words of every song come alive. Not many singers can belt out a ballad with ease then scream and growl through a hard-core metal song. It seems like he can do it all.

Giovanni Saracino on drums really knows how to rock. His perfect timing, excellent use of double base and ability to switch gears in an instant blew me away. It’s obvious he was influenced by Jon Harris of Gasoline. I’d love to see him live.

Lead guitarist Chad McLoughlin’s style is usually fast and furious, but can slow it down and still sound amazing. There has not been a guitarist quite like him in decades. He may one day be one of the greats.

Then there is Crystal Atkinson. She is surprisingly capable of wailing on the bass. Hot and talented is usually not enough for a girl to be noticed in the music world, but she has an amazing local following that I imagine will be worldwide soon enough. With her bold style, she more than makes up, for the band’s lack of a rhythm guitarist.

Triple Threat is Jon Harris’ newest find and will join Gasoline on tour, as the opening act, starting January 15
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in the hometown both bands share. I give this CD a 10. It’s the best breakout album I have heard in a long time. I can see this band going a long way in a very short time.”

By the time Chad finished, Giovanni and I were just as excited as he was. I couldn’t believe it. All that hard work paid off.

Chad put the laptop on the coffee table and grabbed my hands. “This ain’t the only review like this. I didn’t find a bad one anywhere.”

I hugged the two of them. “This is real right?”

It was the first time I saw Chad truly happy since I started dating Giovanni. His whole face lit up when he smiled like that.

Giovanni suddenly picked me up and spun me around. I squealed with delight. When he put me down though, I lost my balance and fell into Chad’s lap. He was startled, but caught me. He looked at me as I looked up at him.

I kissed his cheek and hugged him tightly. “We did it!”

He hugged me also, running his hands over my back and crushing my breasts against his chest. I felt his heart beat faster and his breath quicken as he held me longer than necessary. “I miss you,” he whispered soft enough that only I could hear him.

I let him go and looked at him. He had tears in his eyes. I fought the strong urge to kiss his lips.

“I’m gonna take a shower.” Giovanni headed for the bathroom.

I sighed, quietly. “I miss you too, but I chose him. I’m sorry.”

“My song came out today.” Chad’s smile disappeared. “You know I am nothing without you, baby girl.”

I quickly moved my legs around him and hugged him tighter. “I’m so sorry. What can I do to make you feel better?” Then I looked into his eyes.

“You’re naked under that, huh?” Chad slowly opened my robe and looked me up and down several times. “Can you get away from him for a few minutes? I just wanna feel you, please.” He shifted his hips. Then his long hard cock was under me, still in his pants, but felt so good.

“I can’t.”

His fingers touched my inner thigh, and he quickly thrust them into my pussy, “Chad, no.” I closed my eyes and tried not to moan while he stroked my sweet spot just right. “Please… don’t… oh… please… shit.” I put my arms around him and held him close as my body was racked with spasms.

After a while, Chad pulled his hand free of my body and sucked on his fingers. “Almost like eating you out. I miss the way you taste.”

When I heard the bathroom door, I jumped off Chad and closed my robe. Then came the guilt, and I didn’t even do anything. It was just being that close to Chad that did it, no matter how much I wanted to marry Giovanni.

“Can I take her out to play pool or something one night?” Chad suddenly asked.

Giovanni smiled, standing over us in a towel. “Yeah, I said I wouldn’t keep you from being friends. I understand you guys have a bond that can’t be broken. That’s why I want you to take care of her if something ever happens to me.”

“Please stop. I couldn’t live without you. I wouldn’t want to.” I felt tears welling up.

“But, my love, I have to know you’ll be OK if…”

It was too much. “I don’t wanna imagine my life without you in it. I’d be lost.”

Then I ran to the extra bedroom, tears falling fast and threw myself on the bed face down. I cried into a pillow with terrible thoughts of being alone.

“Why does that upset her?” Giovanni shouted.

After a few minutes, I heard the front door slam. Then I felt the bed move and a hand on my back. I turned over expecting to tell Giovanni how mad I was, but it was Chad.

“Baby, he didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“Hold me, please.” I got up and hugged him fiercely. I cried into his shoulder for a very long time. Then I blurted out, “Why did he say it again?”

Chad rubbed my back and caressed my hair, “Because he loves you. He’s worried about leaving you alone. He doesn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

“It scares me when he talks about dying.”

He sighed. “Baby, I think it’s time you know something.” He exhaled loudly. “Giovanni’s gonna kill me for this.” He lifted my chin and looked into my eyes. “I’ve known Giovanni since our freshman year of college. He was in a band back then, a pretty good one.”

Chad closed his eyes, and I lay my head on his shoulder. “But… his dad didn’t like it. Every day, he told him he was a disappointment, and he should be like Rosario. After a while, he started taking all kinds of pills. I tried to stop him, but you know him. He don’t listen. His addiction got him kicked out of the band.”

“During our sophomore year, things got worse. He couldn’t function without taking something. Then he started failing and had a huge fight with his dad over being high all the time. Rosario tried to intervene and get Giovanni some help, but their dad just kicked Giovanni out and told him not to come back.”

I was confused, but finally understood his reaction to Dean. “What does this have to do with anything?” I looked up and watched a tear roll down Chad’s cheek.

“You need to know the whole story.” He took a deep breath. “A few hours later, Rosario called me and asked me to help him find Giovanni. Their dad had a heart attack soon after the fight and died before they got him to the hospital.”

My mouth opened and tears fell down my face. Giovanni always said his dad was “gone.” The date on the cross tattoos had to be the day he died. “He blamed himself, didn’t he?”

“Yeah, baby.” Chad sniffled. “It was awful. When we found him, he was buying ecstasy. Rosario was in tears trying to explain to him, he had to go home. Giovanni refused and pushed him away. Rosario screamed that their dad just died. Giovanni looked up at him. He had a look in his eyes I had never seen before. Then he put a bunch of pills in his hand and took them all.”

Chad leaned his head on me. “By the time we got him to the hospital, he was unconscious. He almost died, baby. That was the last day he took anything. After their dad’s funeral, we got him into rehab. Please don’t tell him I said anything. He thinks you won’t love him if you know.”

“He doesn’t love me enough to tell me?”

Chad caressed my cheek. “Baby, he doesn’t tell anyone.”

“But how does he deal with it then?”

“He doesn’t. He can’t express his feelings like we do.”

“He punched you when he was hurt a few times.”

Chad sighed again. “Why do you think he does that?” I shrugged my shoulders. “Because he holds it inside, and then just explodes. Think about when Rosario left. He was a wreck. And, when I told him about your attack, he almost destroyed the garage. I had to hold him until he cried about it. Please don’t tell him I told you that. I promised I wouldn’t.”

All the times he overreacted to things came to mind. Like the time he and I were in my room about to have sex then Chad called and he suddenly couldn’t. There were just so many signs that he had an issue with emotions. I started crying again.

When I was able to, I lifted my head and looked up at Chad. “Where’d he go?”

Chad smiled. “He just went to the gym. He felt bad about upsetting you and wanted to blow off some steam.”

“So, his dad’s why he keeps talking about dying?” I still didn’t understand.

Chad pulled me close again, laying my head on his chest. “His dad didn’t have anything set up, no will, no life insurance, nothing. His mom’s still paying off bills and stuff. Giovanni doesn’t want to you to go through that. His dad’s death changed his whole life, but it made him a better man. The man you fell in love with.”

“He told you everything, didn’t he?” Giovanni suddenly asked. “Do you hate me now?”

I turned towards him. “No. Why would I hate you? Now I understand you better. You worked hard to be the man you are today, and I’m grateful for it.”

“Baby, I’m gonna go. I’ll see you later.” Chad kissed my cheek then left.

Giovanni got up on the bed. He took my hands in his and looked at my tearstained face. “Please tell me he didn’t give you details about… my addiction.”

“It’s OK.” I pulled a hand away and touched his cheek. “I still can’t wait to get married. I love you even more now that I know you better.”

His eyes started to well up with tears. “But…”

“But nothing, the past means nothing. I love you, no matter what.” I threw my arms around him. “Please open up to me one day, please.”

After only a few minutes, tears started falling on my neck. “I killed my dad. It was all my fault. He hated me.” He cried even louder and clung to me.

I had tears falling as well. “No, you didn’t, and he didn’t hate you. You couldn’t have caused a heart attack no matter what you did. He had to have a heart condition no one knew about. It’s not your fault.”

He hugged me even tighter. “I love you, Crystal,” He replied between sobs. “I’ll never be a father like mine, I promise.”