Royce (20 page)

He stood and walked away from her, “He’s my son!”  He said angrily pointing at his chest, “My son!  And I will not just throw him away to make you or anyone else feel fucking better!”  He stared at her, “He will come to this house and he will be welcomed here!”  He said angrily, and Tammy stormed off, and Royce was stunned and Joy’s words came to his mind,
you think Tammy is going to go for this,
and now he had the answer to that, it was a resounding No!

Wait until she sees him, she’ll love him,
“Oh shit, I forgot to show her the pictures,” he knew now was not the time, but he would show her the pictures of that beautiful baby and like him he knew she would fall in love with him.

Tammy was mad as hell, and she blamed Joy, “The bitch did this on purpose, I know she did, I know she wanted Royce, wanted to take him from me,” she cried to herself.  She threw herself on the bed and pulled the cover up over her head,
the fucking condom broke, is that the truth?  
She wanted to believe it was something as simple as that, and she thought that was probably the truth, the condom did break, that happens but for Joy to get pregnant was cruel, “Why God!  Why did you let this happen?”  She cried out, why was God punishing her, was it because she loved a man so much, much more than she loved him,
God is a jealous god and he wants you to put no man before him
, she could hear her mother say. 

Her mother was very religious, even though her mother was a drunk and got beat regularly by all four of her husbands she somehow managed to get up on most Sundays and drag them to church.  She always thought it was a bunch of malarkey that her mother believed she had to suffer here on earth because there was a better place waiting for her in heaven; her mother would say of her pitiful, miserable life and after a beating.  She quoted the bible constantly about anything going on in their lives like, “Suffer the children,” “The meek shall inherit the earth,” and, “I am a child of God born into sin, that’s why I suffer,” she’d say after a beating or “Spare the rod, spoil the child,” she’d say after she or one of her siblings was beaten by whatever husband or boyfriend she had at the time.  She hadn’t thought of her mother in a long time, she hadn’t even told Royce she had three sisters and a brother, all of them born of one husband or the other. 

When she left to marry him she quoted the book of Ruth to herself,
where thou goest I will go, where thou layest I will lay, thou god shall be my god, thou people shall be my people.
She never even told her mother she’d gotten married, or invited anyone she knew to the small wedding, not even Jody; she thought they’d embarrass her.  Royce’s brother decided to give her away, and when they went to Amarillo to visit his parents she never even mentioned heading to Lubbock, and she thought of her mother now and what she’d say of all this; that God was punishing her for forsaking her family and putting a man before him.

“Is that it God?  I love him more than you?”  She cried and she knew it was true.  She loved Royce more than anything really, more than God, more than herself, more than the children, more than life. “I’m sorry we never went to church God, but Royce never said we should.” She knew Royce had grown up Catholic and because she was pregnant the church wouldn’t marry them, so they had a small family wedding at his parent’s house.  She lay in her bed crying and needing her mother for this one.  Royce had a baby by that bitch Joy Abrams, she wiped at her tears, “I can’t go through this, I don’t want to go through this God,” she pleaded. 

Royce came in and she heard his heavy footsteps as he walked into the bathroom, she heard the shower turn on and she cried harder,
he wants to bring the baby here!
She let out a loud sob,
what will people say?  Oh God! 
She cried, “God will not give you more than you can handle,” she heard her mother say after a particular bad beating, “He knows I have a tough ass!”  Her mother laughed and said as she wiped blood from her nose and mouth. 
I can’t handle this.
I can’t face people knowing he has a baby by another woman, a black baby at that,
and another thought kept trying to be heard and finally it came out,
and he loves her, you heard him say it, everybody heard him say it,
and a picture of Royce on his knees pleading his love for Joy came to mind, and she punched the pillow, “Over my dead body will I allow that child in my house,” she vowed. 

She heard the shower turn off and the door open.  She pictured Royce drying off,
damn he was so fine
, and she felt her body responding to the thought of him.  She dried her tears and listened for him.  She heard the sink faucet turn on and knew he was brushing his teeth and she heard a few mumbles or grumbles too, he was talking to himself. “I’m sorry Royce,” she said to herself, “But this hurts, she had your baby, this hurts to much,” and she hated Joy, hated every breath she took.  She heard the bathroom door open and saw Royce walking naked to his dresser, his dark hair wet and combed back.  He opened his drawer and took out a pair of pajama pants and quickly put them on and he never even glanced at her, and then he walked to his side of the bed and pulled the cover back roughly and climbed in and turned away from her; he was on the far side of the bed his back to her and she began to cry.

Royce was furious at the things Tammy said, how she spoke about a baby, his child. “Black bastard, and I want no part of him.  She can keep him for all I care,” he couldn’t believe how cruel and callous she was about a child.  He needed to take a shower to feel the warm water wash over him but it couldn’t wash away her words.  This was not going as planned; this whole thing hadn’t gone as planned.  First Michael and Joy wanted him to stay out of his child’s life and he had to sue for visitation and now Tammy was being heartless when it came to his child.  He hadn’t expected that of her, he always thought she had a loving heart and wouldn’t hurt a fly, but now he sees when it came to an innocent baby she wasn’t so loving,
now you see why Joy wanted it the way she did
, now he sees, but he was suing for custody.  He couldn’t back out of that now, nor did he want to.  He wanted to see his son and acknowledge him and he wanted him to carry his name.  He was going to change his name to Harrington as soon as the law allowed; there was no way he was going to let his son grow up with another man’s name, especially not Michael’s. 

The warm water had felt nice running down his face, “Tammy will just have to accept it,” he said under his breath,
in time she’ll get used to it
,
it’s new now.  She just heard it, give it time to sink in
, he stepped out the shower, dried off and brushed his teeth.  He walked into the bedroom still fuming a bit at her outburst and what she’d said, “Black bastard,” always came to the forefront.  He climbed into bed and lay as far away from her as possible.  He heard her silently crying, and he thought,
good, cry, you should cry for the way you acted about a child, an innocent child
, he felt her moving.  She came over to his side of the bed.

“Royce,” she said softly.

“Yes”

“We can work this out,” he smiled and turned to face her,

“I’m glad you said that Tammy, I know we can,” he said, happy to hear her coming to his side. 

She kissed him on his chest, sweet little kisses.  She went down his belly; she loved the soft line of dark hair that ran from his navel to his crotch.  She kissed and sucked the hair as she made her way down to his thick wiry hair.  She slipped his pajama bottoms down past his hips and took his soft member in her mouth and sucked, she knew how he liked it.  He was getting harder, she caressed him, stroked him and sucked him, taking him deep in her throat, and when he was hard, so hard, she climbed on top of him and eased him inside her.  He moaned as she moved on top of him. She moaned and moved on top of him so good, and when she thought she had him right where she wanted.

“Let’s forget about the baby Royce, no one has to know.  Joy can take care of him, its best that way,” she said softly and leaned down and kissed his lips and she didn’t get a response.

Royce had stopped moving as soon as she said, “Forget about the baby,”
he pushed her off him.

“You think I can forget about my son!”  He sat up and looked at her in angry disbelief, “And you think a little head and a fuck is going to make me change my mind!”  He paused and ran his fingers through his hair, “Arggg, this is fucking unreal!”  He said angrily and got up, pulled his pants up and stormed out and as he went she screamed at him.

“I’m not taking in her bastard!”  He relegated himself to the couch this time.  He turned on the TV and flipped through channels and he was mad as hell,
it’s a baby
, he thought,
my baby and she thinks fucking me is going to work, unbelievable!
 

For Royce, Justin was more than his child.  He was his link to Joy; he was the reminder of their brief love and coming together at The Club; he reminded him that it had been real and beautiful, Justin was love.

Michael hadn’t been the same since he read the letter.  The snowball was still rolling and getting bigger and bigger and Royce Harrington was suing them for visitation and for rights of paternity and he was a lawyer he knew what that meant.  He was going to prove his paternity and change Justin’s name probably, wipe the Abrams name from his records,
fucking bastard,
he thought, but he knew he would do the same.  He wouldn’t want his son to have Royce’s name if he could help it, but it was the thought of Royce he had to deal with.  Royce always seemed to cross the line with him, first he slept with only Joy at The Club and had been with her for months and didn’t wear a condom not once when he was with her, then she had his child.  Then he finds out he’s been coming by while he’s at work and now this, suing them and wedging himself in their lives forever.  He couldn’t take it, he wanted to kill somebody, he wanted to punch somebody and he wanted to hurt somebody and since he couldn’t hurt Royce he took it out on the one person he could, Joy. 

He waited for her to come to bed and he was going to make her feel it, he was going to make her feel the hurt he was going through dealing with the hand she dealt him.  Every since the last time he’d hurt her he’d been like a volcano, smoking and hissing on the outside but underneath there was a hot lake of lava roiling, boiling, seething and getting hotter and hotter.  He heard her in the bathroom.  She was taking a shower and he was waiting, had been waiting for a long time,
damn is she going to be in there all night. 
He simmered, he heard the water finally turn off, and he pictured Joy drying off,
damn she’s so beautiful,
and he pictured her beautiful smooth skin and nice round behind, he felt himself rising.  After a moment he heard the sink faucet turn on and knew she was doing her nightly routine.  He waited and it seemed she took forever, then he heard the bathroom door open and she came out and he watched her turn her side of the cover back.  She looked so innocent wearing a short white spaghetti strap silk nightgown, her hair pulled back in a loose ponytail. 

She climbed into bed and lay down and he pounced on her and pulled her under him.  “Michael, please not to…,” he pushed down hard on her lips, he kissed her hard, holding her head down so she couldn’t move and when he broke the hard kiss he said in agony and brittle anger, “Oh Joy why, why Joy why did you bring all this shit on us?”  He was on top of her and she tried to move from under him but he pressed down harder with his weight and pulled her hands up above her head and held them tight with one hand and with the other he roughly pulled her gown up and with his legs he forced her legs apart, and he heard her cry, “Michael please, not like this, please,” she pleaded. “Not like what?”  His rage up, he boiled, “Like this,” he’d let go of her hands and pulled her legs wide and now he rammed into her, she cried out in pain. “You should have thought about that before you let Royce fuck you without a condom,” he spat out angrily at her as he rammed into her.  He pinned her legs wide with his strong hands and held her down with his body, he was big and ramrod hard.  This is the release he needed.  This released all that pent up rage he had for her and for Royce, no matter how he tried and how much he hated Royce he still blamed Joy.  She was the one who should have known better, it was her responsibility to protect them not Royce’s, it was hers and she let him down.  And now the fallout from her actions was bigger and wider than he’d ever imagined.  The snowball was the size the moon!

He rammed into her feeling his pleasure, feeling his rage boil as he took pleasure in hurting her, making her feel his pain, the lake of lava roiling.  He moved faster with hard angry thrusts, Bam! Bam! Bam! He pounded inside her, and he felt her wet cheeks against his.  She held tight onto the sheets, holding on for dear life.  Bam! Bam! Bam! He went and he felt his sweet release coming, the roiling, boiling lake reached a fever pitch.  He erupted hot inside her, spewing his hot angry seed in his eruption.  The volcano had erupted, burst open and spilled over and now it flowed quietly, destruction in its wake, but it was free.  He moved a few more times, more sweeter now.  The pain had flowed back underground.  When he was satisfied he let go of her legs and released his weight off her and rolled off and he got his parting shot, “A fucking condom, that’s all,” he said and got up and went into the bathroom.  Joy pulled her gown down and rolled to her side, her tears covered her cheeks
, I’m sorry Michael
,
I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you.