Royal Chase (16 page)

Heart in my throat, suddenly angry at my own behavior and wanting to take it out on him, I said, “In your dreams, Dante.”

He didn’t get upset though. He just looked at me in that way of his and said, “Every night,
Limone
.”

There was nothing to do after that but excuse myself and hurry back to my room before he got any ideas.

Or before I got any.

I practically ran back, making sure to lock every single door. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. Why I was so willing to ruin my entire future for lust.

But I did know one thing for sure.

The exposure therapy was not working.

I heard him return to his room. I thought he might knock and try to talk to me, but he didn’t. I didn’t know whether to be relieved or upset. I just kept rerunning our conversation over and over in my head. What he said, how he said it, what it meant, and whether it was real or just some kind of game that he wanted to play.

Mostly I thought about what he’d said regarding me.

It was probably three o’clock in the morning when I realized that my hotel room had a phone with a landline. I’d been without a phone for so long that it hadn’t even occurred to me that I might have one now.

Kat was going to kill me, but I needed her.

She picked up on the fourth ring. “Just so you know, the next time I see you, I am going to smack you.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I really needed to talk to you.”

“What has he done now?” She sounded exhausted and mumbled her words.

“Am I a control freak?”

She was quiet for so long I thought she might have fallen back asleep. “Is this a trick question? I feel like there’s not a right answer here.” She didn’t sound sleepy anymore.

“The right answer is no!”

Another long pause. “Even if it’s not true?”

“I am not a control freak! I don’t want to control everything. I know I can’t.”

“You kind of do. And that’s okay. People who know and love you understand and accept that about you. That’s just you. Like how I’m screwed up emotionally and almost totally ruined my chance at true love. Nico and you know that about me and you both love me anyway.”

I didn’t know what to say. I had never, ever thought of myself that way. And now two of my closest friends were telling me that’s exactly how I was.

“Are you attracted to him?”

A pain started throbbing in between my eyebrows. “That’s not the issue. That has never been the issue.”

“Do you like being with him?”

I did, more than I should. “Yes, we’re friends. And before you ask any more questions that you already know the answer to, there isn’t a future with him, and that’s the problem. I need to make different choices. Be with a different kind of man. You understand that, don’t you?”

She sighed. “There are no guarantees, Lemon. Even Sterling can’t make you a guarantee for the future.”

“I shouldn’t have come here. I should have said no. Because . . . I have to tell you something that you can’t tell anyone else.”

I heard a noise that sounded like sheets rustling, and I could imagine her sitting straight up in bed. She did love a good secret. “I promise I won’t say anything.”

“I’m not missing Sterling. Like, at all.”

“You know what they say. Absence makes the heart go wander.”

“I think that’s supposed to be ‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder.’”

“Not in your case.”

I couldn’t even laugh. But I was glad I had finally said it out loud. I had kept it buried inside me because I didn’t want to think about what I might have to do if I admitted it.

“Don’t you think you should miss him?”

Of course I thought I should miss him. I didn’t know if it said something about me, or something about our relationship.

Or if it said something about Dante.

“You remember how I was right after we left Monterra and I was apart from Nico.”

During their time apart, Kat had been the most miserable person alive. I’d never seen anyone so sad and depressed. I had actually worried for her mental health.

And I’d never felt that way about Sterling while I’d been away from him. Not even once.

“Maybe it’s because I’m just secure in our relationship,” I rationalized.

“Nico’s in New York and I’m in California and I feel like part of me is missing. And I’m very secure in our relationship. You know I adore him. But when we’re apart, I’m counting down the minutes until we’re together again.”

There was nothing I could say to that.

“Look, it’s late and we should both get some sleep. Just ask yourself this—when you’re apart from Dante, do you miss him?”

“Good-night, Kat.” I hung up the phone.

It was a question I didn’t want to answer.

Chapter 16

I had a lengthy conversation with your doctor, and he thinks you need more Vitamin Me.

They kept Dante and me separate on our return back to California, and I was glad to have some alone time before returning to the house.

Genesis was excited to see me, Michelle was indifferent, and Scabigail was hostile. Genesis had a date that afternoon with Dante, and she asked if I would help her get ready. I said yes, and helped do her hair and
her makeup while she told me about what an amazing time they’d had in Cozumel. There had been some kind of comic book convention at their hotel, and he’d agreed to take her. I tried to imagine Dante with a bunch of comic book enthusiasts, and I couldn’t.

He must have really liked Genesis to do something like that.

Which is good
. Even if it felt awful.

She left, and I had more time to think about what a terrible person I had become. How I was engaged to one man and falling for another. How I despised cheaters and was in danger of turning into one.

And how all of America could end up hating me for being such a fickle, horrible woman.

Taylor scheduled another interview, covering up the camera so we could talk candidly. I didn’t tell her about Sterling and not missing him, but I did tell her pretty much everything else. It was nice to have someone to talk to who wasn’t half-asleep or halfway across the world. She was so sympathetic and so kind, she even started crying. Which made me cry, and we sat in the interview room crying and hugging each other.

When we finally stopped, she told me that Matthew Burdette was not only happy with how I’d been with Dante, he had a present for me.

She handed me a piece of paper. “He had an assistant make up a list of people that he knew were looking for a new public relations company. He said as soon as the show was over he would personally put in a good word for you. You can start calling them once we’re all done here.”

I looked over the names, and I recognized most of them. Even just two of them hiring my company would make a huge impact, which was both exciting and disturbing. It felt like a gift or a bribe, and something to give Burdette even more leverage.

I went into the kitchen to find something healthy to snack on. Crying it out had helped to clear up some of my negative emotions, and the prospect of having a life again after this show, and of being able to grow my business, made me feel happy.

And I stayed happy, right up to the moment where I saw Dante and Genesis outside in the backyard holding hands. She rested her head on his shoulder, and he tilted his head so that they touched. She turned to smile up at him, and it looked like he was about to kiss her. My stomach hardened and I felt sick with jealousy. Doubled-over, ready-to-run-for-the-bathroom sick with jealousy.

It’s okay,
I told myself.
I have Sterling, and we’re getting married, and I want Dante and Genesis to be happy.

I really did want it. Even if it made me want to bludgeon somebody.

Then it was time to get ready for a cocktail party. I guessed that Michelle would be sent home. They wanted Abigail to stay to cause problems, and I saw with my own eyes how well Genesis was doing. Burdette wanted me to stay, so it seemed like the only logical outcome.

I was glad Genesis didn’t come upstairs while I was getting ready. It gave me time to compose myself, so that I could be nice and happy for her when I saw her again.

As soon as I came into the family room, Dante took me by my elbow and asked to speak with me. I put on a bright, happy smile and followed him.

Then he said the last thing I expected him to say. “Do you want me to send you home? I don’t want you to be unhappy. You can go back to Atlanta, if that’s what you want.”

Things must have been more serious with Genesis than I thought. “It’s not what Matthew Burdette wants.” I told him about everything that had gone on with the producer. He looked more and more worried with each word.

“Has he said anything to you?” I asked.

Now he seemed distinctly uncomfortable, which was surprising. “Just that he liked the way you and I are together.”

He wasn’t lying, but I could tell he was choosing his words very carefully. I thought about my list upstairs. I didn’t believe for a second that Burdette didn’t have his own copy, and that he wouldn’t hesitate to call each and every person to tell them never to speak to me.

“Let’s do this. You pick two other women for the finale. I will stay up to that point. You can come see my family, I’ll go see yours. I will stay and play along and do what I have to do. But you can’t choose me, send someone home that you could have loved, and then have me marry another man. It would ruin everything. The producers might try to force you to pick me, but if you promise me, I know you’ll keep your word.”

His jaw twitched two times, like he was gritting his teeth together. For a minute I thought he might not agree to what I asked. “If you will answer one question for me, then I will promise you.”

I took in a deep breath. “Okay.”

“What do you think would happen if we were together?”

The shock of that question jerked my head back and made me stand up straight. I had to clear my throat before I could speak. “I’ve seen the articles online. I know what you do in relationships.”

“You can’t know because you’ve never been in a relationship with me. When I commit, I commit.”

He couldn’t possibly think I’d be this easily fooled. “Why? Because of your knightly code of honor?”

As soon as I said it, I knew I shouldn’t have. His face fell, the disappointment obvious. “Yes, I was raised to treat women with respect and honor. And that may seem stupid or old-fashioned to you, but . . .” He trailed off. He shook his head. “I suppose there’s nothing I can say that will change your mind.”

“This is just pretend, remember? Just for the cameras.” I hated how sad he looked. And that I had caused it.

“Right. Just pretend. And Lemon, I promise you that I will not take you to the finale.”

We were alone. There wasn’t even a crew anywhere nearby. And he didn’t call me
Limone
. That hurt worst of all. “Thank you,” I said. I expected to feel relief.

Instead I felt shame and regret.

Harris came out to retrieve me and had me join the others inside. I looked back to see Dante being led in the opposite direction. I wondered if they wanted him to make some kind of big entrance. I lined up in the Heart Celebration room with the other girls, candles burning, cameras on.

Dante might very well send me back to Atlanta. We might leave things this way. I didn’t want that.

“I know that you’re standing here, expecting that one of you will go home. Well, as you can see, there are no heart pins on the tray. No one is leaving tonight.”

Genesis grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I smiled back, and I finally did feel relieved. “Instead, I have an announcement to make.” Harris looked at me specifically when he said it, and that relief dissipated as quickly as it had come. He was about to out me. I knew it. He would tell the others that I wasn’t there for the right reasons and Burdette would blackball me and America would hate me. There was an ache at the back of my throat, and chills strangled my spine. The gnawing sensation in my stomach felt like a family of rabid squirrels had taken up residence. I thought I might start hyperventilating.

“As you all know, Dante is charming, handsome, and intelligent. Any woman would be lucky to be with him. But what you don’t know is . . .”

Harris waited, stretching out the moment. I pressed my hand to my heart, so relieved that he wasn’t talking about me.

“Dante is actually His Royal Highness, Prince Dante. His parents are the ruling monarchs of Monterra. Dante also has a substantial trust fund waiting for him when he comes of age.”

It was so quiet you could have heard a rat peeing on cotton. Then the energy in the room shifted after that moment of shock and awe. Each girl had to be considering what this meant for her. The game play had to change because the circumstances did. This was no longer just about getting a hot guy. This was about getting a hot, rich prince. What girl hadn’t dreamed of that at some point in her life?

Harris said, “I’ll leave you to think that over, and to enjoy the rest of your evening. Prince Dante will not be joining you tonight, but he will be choosing one of you in the morning to spend the entire day with tomorrow.”

As soon as Harris left the room, Michelle erupted into a never-ending round of squeals as she jumped up and down.

“I can’t believe he’s a prince!” Genesis said, and she sat down on the riser, putting her head between her knees. “It’s bad enough he looks like that, but he’s rich and royal too? I can’t even . . .”

I grabbed a pillow and tried to fan her off, moving the hair from the back of her neck to help.

“I’ve heard of Monterra,” Abigail said. “He’s a real prince. Not just someone with a title without a castle or money.” She tapped her fingernail against her lip. “I think this calls for a celebration, don’t you?”

Michelle hugged Abigail around the waist, and Abigail allowed it to happen for a whole three seconds before pushing Michelle off. “Everyone go upstairs, get changed into your pajamas, and we’ll have a sleepover downstairs. I’m making everyone milkshakes!”

“That’s suspiciously considerate of you,” I said. Hadn’t she called ice cream poison?

“Nonsense,” she replied. “I am a nice person. I can do nice things for other people.”

I should have known better.

We’d stayed up most of the night gossiping and giggling, and even Abigail had seemed halfway human. She kept making us chocolate milkshakes, and we drank them until we thought we’d bust.

Harris woke us up early the next morning. We’d been asleep for maybe an hour. Dante stood next to him, dressed for a day out, looking perfect. I, on the other hand, had chocolate shake stains, crazy hair, and bags under my eyes.

I was so glad America was getting to see me at my finest.

Somehow Abigail had a ton of makeup on and her perfect hair fell in soft curls down her back.

Harris asked us to all stand up, because Dante had made his choice for the woman he wanted to spend the day with. It would be the last opportunity to be alone with him before the home visits. He would have to send at least one of us away after he met our families.

We all stood, and I wrapped my blanket around me. I suddenly didn’t feel well. At first I thought it was because I was tired, but I felt sick to my stomach. It probably had something to do with the way Genesis was smiling at him. Being around him impaired my ability to make smart choices, and now it was literally affecting my health.

“These are never easy decisions,” he said, and the room started to spin. It was like I was drunk, but I hadn’t touched any alcohol in a long time. I was glistening heavily, like every single one of my pores had decided now would be a good time to give me a sweat bath.

“And it’s not easy, because I enjoy spending time with all of you, but the person I’ve chosen to spend the day with is . . .”

My stomach contracted violently and made a sound I didn’t know a stomach could make. He stopped for a second and looked at me, raising one eyebrow as if to ask if I was okay. I knew I was going to throw up. I ran for the kitchen sink, fearing I’d never make it to the bathroom, and I heard the other girls getting grossed out as my chocolate milkshakes raced out of my stomach.

Dante was behind me, and he said something, but I couldn’t focus on his voice. Cold chills enveloped me as I just heaved over and over again.

After I’d emptied out every shake, in addition to whatever else my stomach found to toss out, my legs gave way. Dante caught me before I hit the floor.

He picked me up in his arms, settling me against his chest. Everyone gathered around me, asking if I was all right. It made my head hurt.

“I’m taking her upstairs.”

I heard Harris call for the medic on staff. Then Abigail said, “That lucky girl is going to lose so much weight.”

I wished I had the strength to strangle her.

Dante carried me up to my room, and he pushed the door open with his foot. He stopped when he stepped inside. “How can you walk in here? Your floor is covered in clothes.”