Rowena Through the Wall: Expanded Edition (8 page)

"Jon has that affect on me sometimes. I wonder if it is a family gift."

We stood in companionable silence.

"What do you call this land," I asked.

"We're back in Huel now."

"No, I mean the whole land. Your country."

He grinned. "Land's End."

How fitting.

"And why are there no birds and bees here?"

His smile faded. "They went with the witch's curse."

Well, holy crap. No birds and bees for a barren people. What a perfect metaphor. That witch had a wicked sense of humor.

"Why did she curse you all?"

"Because we burnt her sister."

This didn't sound good. "And why did you burn her sister?"

"Because she was a witch."

I shook my head.
Men.

"It's time," Jon said, interrupting us.

I avoided Ivan's eyes as we mounted and set off again. We didn't stop until we reached the gates of Castle Huel.

Chapter 9

We rode hard into the castle courtyard and pulled up quickly. The dust was wild about us. Ivan sprang from his horse and came over to help me, but I was already slipping off the far side of Lightning. Richard swung from his horse and Jon hitched his mare to the post. The other men were behind us.

Grandfather stood not ten paces away. I took a step toward him and his hard expression stopped me.

He turned to Ivan. "Is he dead?"

"Wounded. Probably mortally." He dunked his head in the water trough and then shook his head.

"Did he use her?" The old man's voice was gruff.

"Oh yes. Most definitely."

The silence in the square was ominous.

"Did she come back willingly?"

Ivan looked at me. "Yes, she did that."

Grandfather turned to me, stepping forward. "Rowena, are you hurt?"

"No."

"We are a pathetic lot that we can't keep one woman safe between us."

"It won't happen again," Ivan growled.

"You can't keep me chained to the castle forever," I retorted. "We'll have to negotiate something."

Jon snorted. "Negotiate?"

"Negotiate?" Ivan roared. "Are you out of your mind? I don't negotiate with barbarians."

"Stop yelling at me!" I closed my eyes and clenched my hands. "All you do is bully me."

"Ivan, cease this," Grandfather said. "Can't you see she's exhausted?" He moved closer. "Where is the rest of your dress, child?"

I shrugged.

"What strange garments they wear up north." He reached for the chain around my neck. "Ivan, look here. Did you see this?" My broach caught the light and it sparkled in the sun. "This is the jewel of Tintagel. It is said to keep the wearer safe from mortal danger. Rowena, did Norland give this to you?"

It took me a moment to realize that by
Norland,
he meant Gareth. I nodded.

There was an awed hush in the courtyard.

"He must value you greatly to give up his own guard against destruction," Grandfather said. "He puts you above his own life. This Earl of Norland is a man of honor. I didn't expect that."

"He is still a barbarian," Ivan snapped.

"A barbarian who won't give up. You should have killed him when you had the chance. He'll be back to take her. If he lives."

A cold wind blew across my heart.

Grandfather took a deep breath. "Richard, escort Rowena to her bedroom, then go to the Great Hall. Ivan, come now. We need to talk."

In my cool, dark room, I undressed and slipped into bed.

Both moons were high when Ivan came into the bedroom.

"Wake up," he said, taking off his belt. "I want to make love to you."

"Ivan, you may be my husband in this world, but it is hardly
love
you offer. All you do is abuse me."

This was probably unfair, but I was bone-weary and still angry for the way he had behaved in the fortress.

He froze. "You must forgive that. It was in the heat of battle."

"You would have taken me in front of all the men," I shot back. "How could you even think to do that?"

"I was provoked! You are my wife. And he―"

His next words were cut off and we stared at each other in fury, remembering.

Tears welled in my eyes. "I was mortified."

He sat on the edge of the bed. "You can't begin to understand what I was feeling. I could h
ave killed every single living thing in that room."

Taking me would have been the lesser evil, he was saying. And that was supposed to make me feel better?

We sat in awkward silence. I tried to imagine what was happening in Norland now. Did Gareth live or did he die?

"I can't do this now," I said bitterly, looking away. "I can't do this tonight. Can you understand that?"

He picked up his belt and turned away. "Sleep well" His voice was thick.

For the first time since the beginning of this adventure, I wanted to go home. Could I find the portal again and go through the wall? Even more, could I leave Grandfather now that I'd found him? I stewed over these options until the moons drifted behind a cloud.

Finally, I fell asleep.

A short time after sunrise, I went down to the great hall. I had selected a different dress to w
ear―a deep lavender one. The round neck was high and prim, but the bodice was about two sizes too small so I had to leave it loosely laced in the back. I'd bust through the armholes in no time, but it couldn't be helped. It had a matching vest to the ground, trimmed in white fur.

The atmosphere in the hall was so frosty that I nearly turned back at the door.

"I order you to tell me," Grandfather said coldly.

Richard stared at the stone floor. Ivan stood to his left with his back to me and Jon leaned against the outer wall, his arms crossed.

Grandfather saw me first. "Rowena, come here."

I hesitated.

"Come here, child."

I moved forward a few steps.

"Something happened yesterday, something terrible, and these wretched fools won't tell me what it was."

I closed
my eyes, positive that my face was white.

"Tell me, Rowena. I know you know."

I looked from one to the other. Do I obey my grandfather―or my husband? Interesting dilemma. Not one I'd ever considered facing before.

Ivan shook his head. "Rowena, don't!"

"Yo
u dare to countermand me?" Grandfather was close to fury. "I know something happened. The three of you will hardly look at each other. And the poor girl is terrified. What went on yesterday that you so fear to tell me? What did you do?" He whirled around, facing the other men. "Richard? Jon?"

Jon made a face of disgust, pushed away from the wall and strode out the room.

"Richard! Tell me!"

Richard continued to look at the floor.

"Rowena?" Grandfather's voice softened, but there was still an edge to it.

I snapped my head around and met Ivan's eyes. They were deep pools of anguish, and so help me, I fell into them.

"I can't," I said, helpless.

Grandfather let out an exasperated breath. "I admire your loyalty to your husband. That is as should be. I won't press you further." To Ivan, he said, "You push me too far. I am still Earl! Their first loyalty must be to me, not you. Remember that. There will be no next time."

I fled the room.

Richard was waiting for me on the front step. "Are you okay?" His eyes were soft and full of care.

I nodded and pulled him toward the courtyard.

"Thank you for not telling him," he said. "It would have gone very badly for us."

I walked a few paces, then let out the breath I had been holding. "For Ivan."

"No, for Jon and me too."

I could feel his discomfort.

"I should have done something," he said bitterly. "I wanted to do something to stop him. I hated myself for being there. I didn't even leave the room."

I stood still. There didn't seem to be anything to say.

"I've thought of nothing else since," he said. "I won't forgive myself. Ever."

His golden head hung down in shame. I thought of Apollo, so young and beautiful.

"Oh, Richard. You are a good man, whether you think so or not."

"You don't understand." He lifted his head and swallowed hard. "That was the way my own mother died."

I felt a lightning bolt of clarity run through me.

"Others." His voice was low and hushed. "When the castle was breached and our men were south fighting with Sargon. They left her for dead. I was a child. I couldn't do anything. And I did nothing yesterday either."

Oh Lord in heaven, no wonder the old earl had been so enraged in the hall and the others so stricken. This was like a nightmare repeating, with Ivan as the villain and Richard so clearly fascinated that he stood and watched.

What a primitive world it was here. Every emotion seemed heightened and out of control.

I closed my eyes and sought calm. "Thank you for telling me this, Richard. I understand now. Let it be over. We need this to be over."

We walked through the courtyard toward the main gate.

"Will you forgive him?" Richard asked.

"He's my family," I said, as though this solved everything. Maybe it did in this world. Richard seemed to accept it.

We looked out the main gate together. How I longed to run away across the fields. But it would only get Richard in further trouble.

"There is something you could do for me," I said with unease. "A way you could pay me back."

He looked hopeful.

"Find out whether the Earl of Norland lives or if he is dead. I k
now you have scouts."

"I don't think―"

"He was good to me, Richard. And that's more than can be said for the men of this house."

No kidding. Ravished on the first night here, married without a choice, nearly taken like an animal in the heat of battle…

I he
ard a sharp intake of breath.

"I'll find out," he said finally.

There was something more left to ask, something that had been haunting me.

"Richard, what will happen if I have child?"

He looked out upon the fields. "If it's a girl, there will be rejoicing."

"And if it's a boy?"

"I don't know. I think they will want you to try again."

"And what will our enemies do?"

He fell silent.

"I think I know," I said. "If it is a girl, they'll try to take her. They won't care abo
ut a boy. But if it's a girl―I'm right, aren't I?" I felt cold fear. "And if I prove I'm fertile? What happens to me?"

I already knew the answer. They would take me too. It would start all over again. It would never be over.
Never.
That much was certain.

"
Let's go back to the castle," he said.

I followed willingly, but all the time a plan was forming in my head. I had to get home. I didn't want to have a baby here in this primitive world. I wanted hospitals and doctors and modern medicine. And the chance to raise a child in relative safety.

As soon as I could, I would leave through the wall.

That night, the moons were full. Sleepless, I had been laying in bed watching them for a long while.

Ivan came to me and sat on the edge of the mattress.

"Please talk with me," he said. "We need to talk."

I sat up and looked at him. He didn't meet my eyes, but stared out the window at the moons.

"Understand when I am with you," he said, "I am made mad with desire all the time. When we are apart, I am consumed with worry for your safely. It is tearing me apart."

"I need you to be gentle."

"I want to be gentle, but when we are alone, it is like a beast takes over me. I cannot control it." He sounded bitter. "When another man looks at you, I want to kill him. Even my own kin."

That sounded grim.

"Jon told me about feeling bewitched when he first encountered you by the river."

I bet Jon didn't tell him everything.

"Let me sleep with you tonight. Let me lie with you and hold you, and I will not bother you for sex this night. I give my word."

The flow of moonlight blanketed the room in a soft embrace. I settled down upon the bed and moved the covers back to make room.

Ivan removed his clothes and slipped silently in beside me, gathering my back to his chest. His arms held me loosely. I felt him hard behind me, but true to his word, he made no move. Before long, I felt him relax and fall to sleep.