Rough Ride (14 page)

Her grip firmed, stroked down him as her mouth opened and covered him in warm, wet heat. Hot pleasure throbbed. The edges of her teeth gently caught the sides of him, drew him up tight, pulled all of him into one aching knot of need. She pulled up, her lips slid off him, then eased back down. He didn’t want to thrust, didn’t want to take over what she was giving, but he just couldn’t help it.

When it came to Gretchen though, there was so much he just couldn’t help but do. Like tangle his fingers through her hair until the strands were pulled tight in his hands. It’d never been like this with anyone else in his life. He’d never just wanted something so damn bad that he took it and tossed aside the consequences. With just a look from her wide eyes. Or a touch from her hand, he was lost in his own wanting and desires.

Her pace increased. Grip firmed. He was reduced to guiding her faster. Thrust in her mouth as release wound tight and close. Sweat gathered across his neck and shoulder. What hair wasn’t wrapped in his hands rubbed against his hot thighs until he couldn’t take more and pulled back.

Weight bounced through his cock and he leaned over and reached for a condom. Their last time wouldn’t be finished in her mouth without fulfilling her. He was a jackass for leaving as it was, least he could do was give her something. And have her one last time, selfish bastard that he was.

She sat back on her knees and he leaned over her, pushed her to the mattress and covered her trembling body.

Gretchen.
His
Gretchen. Always open, willing, wanting.

Even as he sealed his mouth across hers and entered, he knew what a fool he was to give her up. This was his life and he was playing safe. But safe was all he knew. He could ask her to come with him. Uproot her whole life to something completely different and far away from all she’d ever known.

He shut down the idea before it had time to escape his mouth. Foolish. Even if she agreed, he couldn’t take her from here. Not from her home, all she knew. Her family with Tonya and Flora. What kind of choice was that? He was too afraid to live with his, so he would pull her away from hers?

Even he wasn’t that pathetic. He drove into her, savoring each last gripping inch of her pulling him in, holding him tight in a needy desperation that wouldn’t release. Her legs wound his waist. Arms around his neck and hugged him to her tighter than she had so far. It got caught up in the back of his throat and he pushed in again, felt her stiffen and give way to her release. Because he was looking to be haunted, he looked up for all the things he loved so much about her, but found her staring back at him instead. Her eyes open and clear. Watching.

She gripped his cock tight, her teeth raked her lower lip, but she wasn’t lost in herself, instead she was focused on him. It was the end of him. He thrust one last time and gave in to the last orgasm she’d give him. Fire raked through his veins, quickly chilled by cold regret.

Her hands against his back shook. He gathered her in his arms, her head on his bicep and her fingers flat against his chest. He held her close. Middle of the night, but he didn’t give in to the desire of dozing. There was always the morning when he could leave, but he wouldn’t wait that long. Wasn’t sure he could. And he didn’t want to waste these last couple of hours with Gretchen by sleeping. Not him. He wanted her to sleep.

To be relaxed in his arms. Completely trusting and seemingly happy. He wanted to live in the fog just a little while longer. And so he did.

She softened in the covers. He’d slept with her enough to know what the slightly raspy noise on her breath meant. And it also meant it was time for him to go. He pulled from her arms, slipped from bed and picked up his clothes from the floor. One last look at her from the door, warm in his sheets and he slipped out, his chest heavy and hurting.

He dressed in the dark living room. Used the light of his phone to remove his house key and left it by the lamp on his way to the door. He locked up behind him, keeping her safely inside.

He got to the end of the drive and his phone buzzed. At seeing Gretchen’s number on the text he groaned, but had to look.

For the record, you’ve never been good about slipping out of bed, but this was your best try so far.

He squeezed his eyes shut, knowing she’d held to her word and let him go. He pulled out on the road and part of him wished she hadn’t. One more look. One more touch and he might not have been able to leave.

Chapter
Sixteen

Gretchen sat at her desk and sighed. The numbers had been crossing and flipping ever since this morning. Three times she’d added a column and every time she’d gotten a different figure. She flung her pen across the room, knowing the problem had nothing to do with math. She’d given all she could and he still didn’t stay. She knew going into last night that would probably be it. Still stung when he pulled away in the dark and slipped out.

She dropped her head in her hands as her front door opened.

Trent and Jacob walked in with easy smiles and friendly waves. “Morning.”

She forced a smile. They were triplets, though not identical. Even so, they looked enough alike that if she glanced fast enough, she saw Lane’s build. And his walk. The way he carried himself. Enough that her heart got all excited, just to be let down. “Hey, guys. What can I do for you?”

“Looking for Lane.” Trent glanced around at the carpet. “I, um, didn’t know if he was here.”

“He’s not here.” But that hint of smile she’d been forcing fell fast when the truth slammed through her all over again. “He left.”

Trent’s gaze met her in an instant. “Left?”

Jacob repeated him. “What do you mean, left?”

She stood from her desk, unable to sit any longer, and really it was pretty pointless. It’s not like work was getting done anyway. The rest of the night she’d slept in Lane’s bed before finally forcing herself out of it around dawn and dragged herself home. Home had sucked. This place was where she’d been living, but Lane’s cheaper and sparser furnished trailer had become a home more than this place had been in a long, long time. “I mean, he left. How’s Rebecca and the baby?”

“Doing well. They’re supposed to get out today or possibly tomorrow.” Trent followed her to the kitchen. “Where did he go?”

She poured a cup of coffee and when they shook their heads at wanting some, she stirred in sugar and creamer. “Home. He left late last night.”

“Why?”

She sipped, but wouldn’t say. It wasn’t her secret to tell. “I think you better talk to him.”

“If you know something—”

She put her cup down hard and fast. It clunked on the counter and silenced them both. She wasn’t going through this. Not with them. “I do and that’s why I’m saying, you should go after him, you should ask him yourself.” She stared into the light colored coffee. After crying half the morning, she’d needed it to sooth hiccups from her throat. How much did she dare tell? Enough to send them away, not so much she’d have to give more details. “I won’t say much, but you should be ready to offer forgiveness.” They stared, mouths open, but she shook her head. “Don’t ask. I’m not saying anything else.”

“Gretchen.”

She started to sip the hot drink, but pushed her cup away and refused to be intimidated by the oversized men standing at least a foot and half over her. She’d promised Lane she wouldn’t tell, so she wouldn’t. “No. Leave. Get out of my house and go find him.”

Trent walked around the counter, wrapped her in a tight hug. She stiffened for only a moment before softening and accepting the warmth and strength she’d been needing. Lane was an idiot for leaving these guys behind. They weren’t even her brothers, but Trent just pulled her in and accepted her like one. He patted her back and straightened, but didn’t let go of her arms. “We’ll find him. And we’ll bring him back to you.”

She shook her head and released another heavy sigh off her chest. “Don’t bring him back on my account.” She stood a little straighter, felt a little better. “He needs to come home for his brothers. If he wants anything to do with me, he’s going to have to get off his cowardly ass and earn it.”

Chapter
Seventeen

Lane reclined his chair back, channel surfed until finding something about a pawnshop, and flicked off the lights. Damn it, this time, he was going to get some sleep. He was due to meet with his old boss in the morning and he needed sleep. So far sleep wasn’t happening.

After driving eight hours with only quick stops and not sleeping in over twenty-four hours, he was due for some rest. But he couldn’t. A nonstop flow of
what if’s
haunted him. Questions he wouldn’t put an answer to because it didn’t matter what the answer was, he wasn’t giving in to them. This was for the best. Besides, in another week or two he’d have settled back into a regular work routine, be in the middle of the Gulf and things would eventually return to normal.

His hands would forget Gretchen’s skin, the way he could span her little waist with his hands. His body would forget how she could just curl into him and his mind would soon forget her vanilla scent. Just needed some of that blaring hot-ass sun and salty air.

He pulled in a breath, let it out slow and tipped his head back in his recliner and waited. Pounding on his front door answered him. He kept his eyes closed and ignored it. They probably had the wrong house. And he was just getting comfortable. The pounding continued. And continued.

With a curse, he tossed the blanket back, climbed out of the chair and jerked his front door open to find his brothers, Trent and Jacob, who walked right by him, letting themselves in. What the fuck?

Trent turned in a circle. “Nice piece of shit you got yourself here.”

Lane pushed the door closed. “Thanks. It was a lot better when it was empty.”

Jacob crossed his arms over his chest and tilted his head. “Great. Travel this far for more PMS.”

“No one asked you to come.” And what were they doing here? In all the time he’d lived here, they’d never shown up. Not once. This place was his peace and they were invading it.

Trent walked in a circle. “Your attitude was better when you were getting laid.”

Lane sat forward, fury laced through his arms. “One more comment like that and so help me, I’ll knock your teeth out.”

Trent put his arms up. “Sorry. Just that you were happier with Gretchen.”

Lane nodded. That was better. Gretchen was no piece of ass like his brother just tried insinuating. “She was nice.”

“Right.” Trent dropped on the couch. “What the hell are you doing down here?”

“Work.”

Trent shook his head. “I don’t get it. You could work in Apple Trail. Nice town. Beautiful woman there, who for some reason, puts up with you and your shit.” Trent pulled in a breath. “Hell man, we’re there. Grant’s right. I don’t like us being sprawled across the country either. We were tight as kids and now we hardly talk.”

Lane rubbed his hands together and tried ignoring the shredding and pulling in his chest. Tried. Didn’t succeed. “My life is here.”

Jacob shook his head. “Bullshit.”

Lane scrubbed over his head. “What do you want from me?”

Trent sat back. “Why did Gretchen tell us to forgive you?”

Lane stilled, sat back in his chair and said nothing. He glanced at his brothers, tried predicting what their reactions were going to be, but got nothing. Gretchen could be right. It could all be water under the bridge by now. Or give them time to cool off, and then they’d move on from it in a few weeks. With them both staring him down, he couldn’t keep this up. He was going to have to give them something and all he had was the truth. “I found out mom had breast cancer about a year before she died.”

“What?” Trent’s mouth gaped. Jacob did nothing but stand there.

Lane rubbed his hands together. “She made me swear not to tell. Didn’t want to worry y’all. She had it beaten. We thought she was fine. It came back and was aggressive.”

Jacob stared down. “I can’t believe you didn’t just tell us.”

Lane could only shrug and take what he deserved. “I told her over and over I wanted to. She begged me. Begged. What was I supposed to do, deny a dying woman her only wish?”

Jacob cursed, crossed the room and went out the door.

The slam sealed his fate just as he’d been expecting.

He glanced to Trent. “And that’s why I can’t stay in Apple Trail. I didn’t want to piss everyone off and Grant’s going to be angry as hell.”

Trent shook his head. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell us.”

Lane could only shrug and waited for the other shoe to drop. At least it was over with.

“We had a right to know.”

“That’s what I told mom. It’s not how she wanted it. For a while, it was fine. She was better. Doctors thought they got it all. I could live it with it. Then when she got bad again and you all knew, the weight was off my shoulders.” He shook his head. “Then y’all were so pissed because she’d kept it to herself. It was too late to say anything then.”

“Christ.”

Lane stared at his hands and waited for the whipping on his heart to stop. “You can leave if you want. It’s fine. I deserve it.”

Trent gaped at him. “Do you even know why Grant worked so damn hard to drag us all to that small town?”

“He wants us close.”

“So we can be a family again. Mom’s death shook us all up, Lane. Grant’s working hard to get us together again and you’ve been resisting and giving us all headaches over
this
?”

Lane stopped and dared a glance at his brother. “You say that like what I did was nothing.”

Trent’s hands were tight, betraying the relaxed look on his face. “It is nothing.”

He tipped his head to the door. “Then why did Jacob just haul ass out of here?”

Trent rubbed his face. “He’s pissed. He’ll get over it. You can’t change what you did, but damned if I know how you’re going to keep living like this.”

“You’re not mad?”

“Mad as hell, but what good will it do? It’s not like you can go back and fix it. Instead get off your ass, pack your shit and come back home to make it right.”