Rough Edges (3 page)

“It’s not like we’re running around naked,” she said.

“If you were
my
wife, I’d have put some blinds in this place. Have you close them up at nights in the least of it.”

She eyed him for a moment, trying to guess why he’d become so irritated suddenly. It seemed fitting in a way though; she never had been able to figure the guy out. “You know, you sure haven’t changed a whole lot,” she said.

His eyes settled on hers. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Allie pulled out a plate, dragged a couple of pizza slices onto it and handed it to him. “Nothing. Would you like a drink?” She motioned for him to pull up a barstool.

“Sure. I’ll have whatever you’ve got.”

Allie opened the fridge, grabbed a can of root beer and slid it along the counter. It skidded to a stop next to his untouched pizza. Braden’s eyes were pasted on the wall behind him. She followed his gaze, a strange sadness in her heart as she realized what he was looking at. Photos. Several pictures of the family showed from behind the glass. Some of the girls on their own. The family together. And one of just her and Terrance, though, in her mind, that space was nothing more than another vacant spot. She made a mental note to add it to her list. She’d put a picture of the girls there instead.

Allie stepped back to the barstool she’d been sitting at, surprised by how close Braden’s chair was. Gripping onto the rounded edge, Allie slid her stool over before sitting down. She reached out to close her laptop next, the sudden awkwardness of the moment causing her to blush.

“I might have spoken a little too soon,” Braden said, reaching for the pizza. He gulped down a few bites before elaborating. “Like I said, Bree’s been bugging me about hiring a secretary for a long time. But I got so caught up in proving her wrong that I never stopped to think she might actually be right.” He cracked open the root beer and took a few swigs. “My father never hired anyone, so I figured I could do it on my own too. Except I never took into account how much my mother really did for him. She got sick shortly after he died, so I’ve just done it on my own ever since.” 

Allie nodded, realizing how terribly difficult those years must have been for him.

“What I’m saying is that it might not hurt for me to have a bit of help around the shop. Just a few hours a day. Catching up on phone calls. Maybe come up with a system that keeps things organized too, like you mentioned, since I pretty much suck at that type of thing.”

She straightened her shoulders, trying to appear professional in her frumpy sweats. “Alright,” she said. “Which hours of the day would be best?” It was a strange combination: Excitement at the prospect of seeing him on a regular basis, satisfaction from actually getting a part-time job as she’d hoped, and the silly nerves of an adolescent girl that had her tucking a stray strand of hair behind one ear.

Braden pulled his gaze off a distant spot in the room. “It’s weird being in here,” he said.

Allie stiffened. “It is?” And though he hadn’t given specifics, she could sense what he meant by it.

“Yeah. I mean, I haven’t talked to Terrance in years. I never came here while you two were married-”

“I told him to invite you for dinner,” Allie said, “several times.”

He shook his head. “Naw, I know. It’s my bad.” He turned to her then, allowing Allie to take in the magnificent depths of his eyes. A touch of gold lined the warm, cocoa color, welcoming her as he held her gaze. And just like that it was back – what she’d felt for him in the past. Her heart sped into action as a sudden flashback rushed to her mind, causing her to blush and look down all at once. Had she not known better, Allie would have sworn she’d picked up on Braden’s thoughts in that moment. But could he have been thinking about the encounter the two had shared so many years ago?

She forced herself to speak up. “So… did you say what hours you’d be interested in?” She couldn’t think of what else to say, only knew she had to say something. Anything to distract her from the images in her mind. The heavy feelings brewing in her heart.

Braden reached for a napkin, wiped his mouth and came to a stand. “Tomorrow will be fine. If you could come, say from nine until noon or so that’d be good. Whatever minimum wage is these days, I’ll double that for your pay to start, if that works.”

She eyed his plate as he headed toward the door, noting he’d only eaten one of the slices. “Three hours a day?” she confirmed climbing off the barstool.

“That’s good, isn’t it? Part-time like you mentioned?”

Allie nodded, realizing it was perfect. She’d still have plenty of time to do her jewelry on the side. Which was good, seeing that her marketing efforts were starting to pay off. Perhaps between the two she’d be making close to her old wage sooner than she thought. “So tomorrow?” she confirmed.

“Mmm, hmm,” he mumbled, reaching for the door.

She dashed forward to catch him. “Wait.”

Braden dropped his arm, turned to face her. Allie hadn’t realized how close she’d gotten. Not until she felt the heat of him against her arm as he grazed her.

A knot of nerves twisted in her stomach. An audible gulp slunk past her throat. She’d nearly forgotten what she meant to say. “I wanted to ask you what I should wear. Do you want me to dress professionally or…” She paused in talking as he ran a slow gaze over her body. “I mean, I wouldn’t wear sweats or anything, but I could dress up, or just do Levi’s. Whatever you want.”

Braden shook his head, reaching for the door once more. “Doesn’t matter to me,” he said, and then headed out the door.

The exchange had been so strange that Allie had to replay it several times. The way he’d been looking at the family pictures. And why had he suddenly stood up to leave? He hadn’t even finished his food.

His bad?
He’d admitted that Terrance had in fact extended dinner invitations; he’d simply declined all along, just as Terrance said. Allie knew it was silly to be offended after all these years, but she could hardly help it. Still, in those moments just now in her home, Braden had gotten closer to her than he used to allow – physically nudging her as he walked by. And his gaze, moving over her in a slow, lingering motion that nearly set her skin ablaze. He was different. More bold suddenly.

Of course, they were both available now –
that’s
what was different. Back when they were teens, the chemistry between them was met with equal opposition: her close friend, Misty, who had the hots for Braden back in junior high, had staked her claim on him even after things didn’t work out. Allie had been waiting for Misty to get over Braden when she fell for his best friend, Terrance. And while Terrance had owned nearly all of her affection, Allie could never quite shake the effect Braden Fox had on her. She’d always felt guilty for the unexplainable pull she felt. In fact, a bit of guilt lingered even still. But that final element – the opposition – was wiped clean. And her ability to explore things with him was finally an option. The knowledge of it was thrilling.

Allie glanced at the clock, realizing she had just a few short hours to work on her orders before it was time to pick up the kids. And tomorrow, she’d start her new job at the workshop. She had no idea what things would be like, considering her unique history with Braden, but Allie was dying to find out.

Talk about foolish. Braden shook his head as he drove from Allie’s house, a sick stone sinking in his gut. What had he done? Invited a massive torrent into his life? Had he not drowned enough over the years?

That old familiar ache sunk deeper, the pain of it nearly crippling as he recalled his failed attempts to turn his mind from her. Seemed as if – once the heart was stuck on someone – almost nothing could make the hurt fade. Not being alone, not being with another person – no matter who it was. Even when the mind forgets for a season, caught up in other ventures and such, it’s the heart that reminds, a quiet nag in every aching breath that the person you long for is not yours to have.

“Damn it,” he growled, smacking the steering wheel with the palm of his hand. Just what had he gotten himself into? His shoulders dropped a notch. Things had felt different today, hadn’t they? Hadn’t Allie seemed more… accessible than ever? Open to … to
what
? All she wanted was a job. And he was a fool to hope for more.

The sudden ringing of his cellphone was an irritation. Braden was in such a foul mood he mused he’d rather throw the thing out the window than answer it, but with a quick glance, he noted it was Bree calling. He stifled a curse while bringing it to his ear, balancing the steering wheel as he did. “Yeah?”

“Could you do me a favor?” his sister asked, her voice tense. One of the kids whined in the background.

“Maybe,” he said. “What is it?”

“Sophie’s fever is back, and now Carter has one too. I’m wondering if you could grab me some children’s Tylenol at the market.”

A bit of guilt seeped in. He hated it when those kids were sick. “Sure,” he said. “I’ve got some ice cream I’ve been wanting to get rid of,” he lied, “think they’ll eat it?”

“You can bring it, but I’m not sure they will.”

“That bad, huh?” Braden frowned, shutting off the wipers as the rain slowed. He made a mental note to slip Bree some extra cash along with the ice cream. She was taking a big hit in pay with her kids being sick and all, having to let the daycare children she watched attend the facility down the road for the second day in a row now. Still, it wasn’t enough to pull his mind away from the recent distraction in his own life. “Hey, did you tell Allie Emerson’s mother that I was hiring a secretary?”

Silence.

“Bree?” he urged.

“Well it’s no secret that I think you could use one. And I ran into her the other day at Lee’s Market.”

“And you decided to talk about me.”

“Only for a second.”

Braden sighed, the effects of being in Allie and Terrance’s home still squirming over his skin like an unwanted insect.

“Are you going to hire her?” she asked.

He kept his gaze set on the road ahead, hardly seeing it through the misty haze of his thoughts. “You have no idea what having her back in my life will do to me,” he assured. He was barely a mended man as it was.  When Bree failed to speak up, he elaborated. “She’s sure to break me for good this time. And the worst part is, she won’t even know it.”

“Then tell her, Braden. Now is your chance.”

His shoulders tensed. His grip on the wheel did too. “Bob Harris asked me to come help out with a woodshop project at the high school,” he said, needing the shift in topic. “I just pulled up to the lot now, but I’ll grab the medicine as soon as I’m done.”

“I didn’t realize you still did that,” Bree said. “Well, I’m not going to forget where we left off, Braden. This is something you should talk about.”

He steered the car to the far end of the lot, wishing he’d have kept his mouth shut. “Yeah. See you in a bit.”

After killing the engine Braden checked the time on the dash. Ten minutes early. He rolled down the window, catching hints of mist as the rainfall ceased. Nostalgia rushed over him with the fresh breeze. From the sights and smells of the old school building, to the familiar feeling of longing that gripped hold of him all over again. Back in high school, he would pull into this very lot – thinking of
her
all the while. Waiting to see her. Talk with her.
Steal her away from his best friend
, he thought with a cringe. But that wasn’t exactly the case; really he’d imagined picking up the pieces after Terrance left – that was Terrance’s style, after all, love ‘em and leave ‘em. Until Allie came along, anyway.

Years had passed since then, and those feelings had all but washed away. So why did they seem so tangible now? As if they were moving back in and taking root with a vengeance. Braden rolled his neck, trying to shake the once-perpetual ache that accompanied the longing he felt for her, the heavy barbs that sunk into his shoulders and chest. He wouldn’t fall victim to it again. He didn’t even know her anymore. Allie Emerson was a stranger to him now.

The string of words had sped through his mind without a conscious thought. But they were true just the same. In his mind he was back in her place. Spinning around the kitchen and taking it all in. He shook his head. Had Allie really been prancing around that house all these years for any old pervert to see? No window treatments to speak of? What the hell was wrong with Terrance that he’d allow such a thing? Braden could picture it now: Allie walking into the kitchen in the middle of the night for a glass of water, dressed in who knows what with only heaven knows who looking in on her. And those daughters. There could be all sorts of perverts peeking in at those girls. If that was
his
family he’d make sure they were better protected.

Annoyed heat burned his throat at the thought. Terrance always did take things for granted. “Spoiled SOB,” he mumbled. Seeing Terrance in those pictures, his arm around Allie, it had set his blood to boiling. What a jackass. Couldn’t even appreciate what he had. If you asked Braden, Terrance hadn’t deserved her in the first place. And here he had the nerve to up and leave her behind. A woman Braden hadn’t fully stopped thinking about after all these years. He was sure to burn in hell for his jealousy, for his sheer desire for his best friend’s woman. There was a reason he’d said no to Terrance’s dinner invitations, and it had a lot to do with the commandment that spoke of not coveting another man’s wife.

The idea had him ducking his head in shame, and wondering what his real motives were for wanting to hire her. True, he needed help around the shop; Mrs. Carmichael’s lost sketch said it all. But Braden had to admit that he wouldn’t be willing to hire just anyone. In fact, he wouldn’t hire anybody except for Allie Emerson.

With one last sigh, he contemplated his fate. Had he done right by inviting Allie back into his life, or had Braden just made a mistake he’d regret for years to come?

“What’s with all the necklaces, Mom?”

Allie heard Paige’s question, but was too distracted to answer. “Jillian, you’re riding the clutch too hard,” she said. “You need to ease up a little more as you accelerate.”

“I’m trying,” Jillian said, rounding the corner toward the Jr. high. “It’s hard with heels.”

“So one or two necklaces wouldn’t have been enough,” Paige prodded from the backseat. “You needed to wear all four?”

“Oh,” Allie said, finally realizing what Paige was talking about. She glanced down to see the necklaces she’d finished just that morning. “I’m shipping these today. I threw them on to make sure there weren’t any jagged ends. I don’t want the customers to put them on and get jabbed.” She gripped hold of the top necklace, slid the length of it along the back of her neck before moving to the next, feeling for any sharp wire tips.

“Are those all for the same customer?” Jillian asked, glancing over.

“Yeah. A woman ordered matching necklaces for herself and her three daughters. Well, matching besides the color of stones, of course. I was thinking of maybe doing a similar thing for us.”

Paige chuckled. “Go right ahead,” she said under her breath, “I’d never wear it.”

It didn’t take much effort to ignore the rude comment. Allie had learned to pick and choose her battles where Paige was concerned.

Jillian brought the car to a stop. “Am I close enough to the curb?”

“Yep,” Allie said, glancing out the window.

Paige threw open the door and climbed out. “You’re close enough if being
ten feet
away is good,” she muttered, and then slammed the car door.

Allie rolled down her window. “Goodbye to you, too.”

“Yeah,” Jillian said, leaning away from the wheel. “See ya.”

Once the window was up, Allie glanced over at Jillian. “That was pleasant.”

Jillian shook her head. “She’s a brat.”

Allie didn’t bother defending Paige this time. She’d done enough of that lately. They stayed in silence until they pulled in front of the high school. Jillian shifted the car into park and turned in her seat to face Allie. “I’m just worried about her,” she said. “I mean, Paige must be pretty miserable inside to be so mean all the time. It’s like she hates everyone.”

Allie nodded, feeling the weight of it herself. “I know what you mean. Divorce is ugly. And it’s a lot harder on some than it is others – ”

“It’s hard for me too,” Jillian blurted. “But I don’t go around punishing everybody else for it.”

“No,” Allie agreed, regretting the statement. “What I should have said is that everybody deals with grief differently. I guess that – for whatever reason – you seem to have better coping skills than she does.”

“I pray for her every night,” Jillian said. “And in the morning too when we drop her off at school.”

It felt as if Allie’s heart had sunk and soared all at once. She managed a smile, despite the quivering of her chin. “Thank you for that, hon. I mean it.”

Jillian reached out, looped an arm around Allie’s neck, and pressed her cheek to hers. “Love you.”

Allie wished she could bottle the warmth of her daughter’s embrace. “Love you too.” As Jillian stepped out of the driver’s seat, Allie pushed open her door as well, passing her at the back of the car.

“Oh,” Jillian said, spinning around at the curb. “Have a good first day at work. Are you nervous?”

About to shake her head no, Allie bit her lip and smiled. “Very.”

Jillian chuckled. “Well, good luck. Can’t wait to hear about it.”

Anxious energy seemed to build within her chest as she pulled on the seatbelt, her heart thumping against the strap in protest. The crowded lot didn’t help. Moving slowly forward an inch at a time only aggravated every thought running through her head. As her eyes wandered over the side of the school, a memory came to mind. She spotted the door Braden used to meet her at every morning. They always seemed to show up to school at the exact same time. He’d give her a smile over his shoulder, open the door for her, and ask if she was ready for another day in purgatory. The recollection made her laugh. He’d done that clear until Terrance started picking her up in the middle of senior year. She didn’t see him in the mornings after that.

Allie filtered into the merging line of traffic to exit the lot, wishing she could somehow exhale the worry she had trapped inside of her. Worry over Paige. Worry over Jillian’s worry for Paige. Worry about what stupid thing Terrance might do next to disrupt their lives even more. And a whole new concern about what this new job would be like. She refused to even think about the next item that came to mind, yet it weaseled its way in just like the blue truck sneaking in front of her out of turn. She glared at the license plate while entertaining the final thought: would Braden really be interested in her? She’d been certain – just yesterday as he stood in her home – that the chemistry between them still burned strong. But what if it was only one-sided? Was he even attracted to her, or did he only see some haggard divorcee who wore the struggles of her years on her aging face?

“Who cares?” she asked herself. She had a second chance with Braden Fox. Maybe. Whether he’d be interested in her or not – whether she’d still be into him after getting reacquainted – all of that would reveal itself over time. She just needed to focus on what he’d hired her for and let things play out how they might.

The traffic freed up as she came to that conclusion. In seconds she was out of the lot, heading down the street, and redirecting her mind to the day ahead. After grabbing a blueberry bagel with cream cheese, Allie killed the next half hour parked out front of the bakery, going over her lists. The grocery list was first, followed by the one she’d made for Paige. Allie would need to go over it with her as soon as school was out. At last Allie pulled out the list she’d made for Fox’s Custom Woodwork.

The morning sun shone bright across the page as she nodded her head in approval, confident with what she could bring to the business. Her heart skipped a beat when she eyed the clock – it was time to go. Jillian had said she’d be looking forward to hearing how her first day went; for Allie it was all the more. She couldn’t wait to see for herself just what it’d be like to work for Braden Fox.

~+~

Braden steadied the vice grip on his workbench before reaching for a plank of wood. Why anyone had to go requesting rosewood was beyond him. Not only was it hard to work with, but the dust of it was suspected to cause asthma among carpenters. He adjusted the bandana around his mouth and nose and repositioned the board. As he tightened the steel clamps against the board’s edge, Braden felt a similar pinch in his chest. An image of Allie floated to his mind for the millionth time that morning. He didn’t keep a clock in the shop, but by the look of the sky beyond the glass overhead, it was close to nine o’clock. Soon she’d walk back into his shop. And into his life. Soon Allie Emerson would secure that old familiar grip on him.

A wry chuckle fell from his lips. It was already in action. Like the beam of wood caught in his vice, Braden was trapped – a prisoner to her whether he liked it or not. The worst part was, he kind of
did
like it. Was looking forward to the days ahead nearly as much as he dreaded them.

With an irritated growl, Braden lowered the saw to make his cut. He was sick. Glutton for punishment of the worst kind. Getting rejected by the same woman over and over again.  He wasn’t sure which was louder – the thoughts in his head or the saw in his hand, but as he lifted the grinding teeth on the screeching machine, another noise came into play.

“Hello?”

Holy smokes, she was there. He stood paralyzed as she called again.

“Braden?”

Boy did he like the sound of his name on her lips. A pool of warmth rushed over the sharp barbs that were piercing him only moments ago, numbing the pain with a tingling heat. “In here,” he hollered, looking up from his task. When she didn’t reply, Braden stepped onto the workbench to peek over the dividing wall. He caught sight of her just as she rounded the corner and headed toward him.

His pulse raced as he eyed her slender figure. No skirt and heels today. Instead, Allie wore a pair of black fitted pants with some sort of blazer to match. It buttoned up at the front and revealed the corners of a white-collar shirt. She looked powerful. Like she could bring a man to his knees with no more than a smile.

As if proving the point, Allie gave him a broad grin. He’d be damned if he didn’t feel the effects of it weakening him already. She glanced up at him through a set of dark lashes, those smoldering blue eyes causing his heart to thud wildly in his chest. “Hi,” she said.

“Hey.” Braden tugged the bandana until it rested around his neck. Was it just him, or was the color in her cheeks increasing? And why did it feel as if his were attempting a similar shift?

“So I have some ideas about where I could get started, if you’d like to take a look.” Allie retrieved a file folder she had tucked beneath her arm. Her eyes fell to the compartments as she pulled it open, removing a slip of paper before tucking the folder beneath her arm once more. When she looked back up to him, Allie cleared her throat. “Would you like to do this in here or at the desk?”

He shrugged. “Do what?”

“Discuss goals. Expectations. Agree on a game plan to get things organized and up to date.” The professional, businesslike approach made him wonder if that’s all this was to her – a job. While Braden had been up the night wondering what it might be like to work under the same roof, Allie had been getting right down to business. Just as he’d hired her to do, he reminded himself.

He glanced down at the list before looking back at Allie. Her gaze was running the length of the dusty saw table.

The list in her hand mentioned a book report and an upcoming test. “Paige is your daughter, right?” he asked.

“What?” She looked down at the list in surprise. “Oh, yes. Sorry, wrong list.”

He watched as she shoved the thing back into her file folder and retrieved a second sheet. Braden tilted his head. “Is that something your daughter needs at school? You could run it out to her if you’d like.”

Allie only shook her head. “No, it’s actually my list. For her. To help her keep track of her work.”

He nodded. “How old is she?”

“She’ll be fourteen in a couple of months.”

“Jr. High?”

Allie’s shoulders fell. “Yes. So I was thinking about…”

But he was too distracted to listen just yet. “So why are you keeping track of her assignments?”

“Excuse me?”

He shrugged, recalling someone else he knew who’d done a similar thing for their child, unnecessarily, as he’d seen it – Terrance’s mother. “If she’s almost fourteen, she can do that on her own by now, can’t she?”

“She’s just irresponsible,” Allie said, looking exasperated.

“Hmm. Sorry, it’s not my business. I was just… go ahead.” He motioned for her to continue. 

“Maybe the desk up front would be best,” she said. “Do you think?”

When he met her gaze, Braden slipped into the depths of those wide, questioning eyes. She looked so unsure of herself in that moment, uncharacteristically so; it made him curse himself for questioning Allie about the list she’d made for her daughter.

At once she broke from his gaze and headed toward the front office. Braden shook off the urge to explain and followed her, realizing with each move that he’d made a tremendous mistake. Inviting Allie back into his life was suicide.

He kept his gaze at the gritty floor as he walked, wishing he could rewind time. He’d lock the door to his shop on the day she’d come and never answer the thing again. Perhaps move out to the orchard house even. By the time his thoughts caught up with the present, Allie was seated atop the desk, flattening her list on the smooth surface at her side.

“I can type this up later, but I was brainstorming last night and this morning – based on what I saw yesterday – and came up with a few ideas. Feel free to add anything you’d like or…”

If she’d continued to talk, Braden hadn’t heard a word of it. He was too busy reading over her list. At the top she’d written the words
scan invoices and make digital copies.
The second line said something about filing the paper order forms.
Create website
was third on the list. “Hold up,” he said, pointing at number three. “I already have a website.”

Allie’s eyes widened. “Oh, you do?” She snatched a pen clipped onto her folder and crossed it out. “Perfect. What’s the web address?”

“Why?” He had the sneaking suspicion she didn’t believe him.

“So I can post it on Facebook. Along with pictures of your work.”

A groan rumbled in his throat. “No, I don’t want any of that … face page stuff.”

“But it could really boost your business,” she said,  “I’ve seen it myself.”

Braden took a step back, seeing – what he imagined – the way she must’ve looked at Terrance. A man who was incapable, or a project that needed fixing. Well in her ex-husband’s case she may have been right. But here, where he’d run a successful business for all these years, Braden wanted Allie to know things were far from broken. Just merely out of line was all.

“Look,” he said, “I don’t want you telling me how to run this business, alright? I’ve done just fine on my own for nearly twenty years. I’d appreciate it if you just stuck to filing and phone calls.”

She recoiled for a blink, but then straightened back up and hopped off the desk. “Fine,” she snapped. “Where’s your restroom?”

Aw, heck. Was she upset? “It’s uh, through that door there,” he said. “Place has been remodeled since the last time you were here, but you’ll find it easily enough.” Allie seemed to flinch at the mention of her being there before. Perhaps he shouldn’t have brought it up.

With her face turned methodically away from his, she dashed around him and through the door leading to the house. The moments following burdened Braden’s mind with layers of guilt. Why had he snapped at her like that? She was only trying to help.

After pacing the office a few times Braden gave up on waiting. Chickened out was more like it. He had no idea how to fix the damage he’d just done. He wouldn’t be a bit surprised if Allie tore right out of that place and never came back. The idea caused conflicting emotions to storm within him. One part found relief at the thought of having her gone; he didn’t need all the heartache, best if he could bail out early and kiss his hopes goodbye. But the larger part of him was sick at the idea of never getting a second chance, or blowing it entirely by his stupid behavior. Here Braden had been fuming over the way Terrance had treated her all these years and then he goes and snaps at her the first chance he gets. He’d have to apologize, that was certain. It was just… how to go about it.