Rough: Daunting Temptation (Coral Gables Series Book 1) (18 page)

"I only want to see her, and if she wakes up, I want to explain what happened. I did not kiss Cay. She kissed me. I didn't even touch her," he pleads, sounding desperate.

"Cami isn't delusional, Delsin. She saw you," Thally insists.

"She saw what she wanted to see. We already got into a fight yesterday afternoon, because Cay got too close to me and I didn't push her away. It was a mistake, I know, but I don't want to lose Camille. I am in love with her, damn it! I may have been an asshole before, but I don't want to be that guy anymore. Thalia, I want to be with Camille, nobody else."

"If I were you, I'd give her a little time," she says matter-of-factly.

My head throbs with pain, but I get up and step out into the hallway. I have to see him. And I have to tell him that it's over.

"Caramel," he says in a hoarse voice when he sees me.

"Why are you awake, Cami?"

"You were loud enough to wake the dead," I answer in a very low voice. I seem to have cried out anything else.

"I am sorry, dear. Go back to bed and I will take care of this," Thally says.

I shake my head and come closer. I didn't remove my make-up before I fell asleep, so I probably look awful, but he needs to hear it right now. "Can you give us a minute, Thally?" I ask her in a subdued voice.

"Not really," she snorts.

"Please."

"Okay. Call me if you want him thrown out," she says, her voice heated.

I nod and look at Delsin. "Come to my room please. I want to talk to you alone." Then I turn around and walk into my room, where I turn on the light, because it is still pitch dark.

I squint at the sudden brightness, because my head still hurts, and sit down on my bed.

Delsin closes the door. "It was not what it looked like."

"You kissed her," I whisper and close my eyes when I feel the tears well in them again.

"No. Cay kissed me. She has been trying to drag me into bed for weeks and she won't accept a no. I didn't feel well; probably the pizza didn't agree with me, and that was why I went to my room for a bit. I sat on the bed and drank a sip of water, when she barged in, threw off her clothes like a madwoman, and sat on my lap before I had the chance to say anything. Then she pushed her tongue into my mouth. When you came in, it had just happened, and I was trying to push her off me," he explains.

"Am I supposed to believe that?" I ask and look at him.

"It is the truth," he says in a desperate voice.

I take a deep breath. Then I get up and close the distance between us. Delsin looks down at me. "I didn't want this to happen. I know you are hurt by what you saw, but please believe me."

I shake my head. "It's over, Delsin. Please go now."

He inhales with a sharp hiss. "No. I will not go. Please don't kick me out, Camille." He falls on his knees in front of me.

I feel overwhelmed and confused. "Delsin, please go now. I cannot trust you. I realized this tonight. And ... I don't love you."

"What?" he asks.

"I don't love you," I repeat. It is more or less a lie, because I was on the way to be able to love him, but now I am going to end it before it can destroy me.

"No, Caramel. You love me, or at least you're falling in love with me. Don't lie to me. I know you have feelings for me," he says hoarsely as he looks up at me.

I see the tears in his eyes and lean down. I breathe a single soft kiss on his lips and brush my fingers over his cheek. "I have to end it before it destroys me," I whisper and pull back my hand.

Delsin gets up on his feet again. "Don't do this, Caramel. I am changing. I am changing for you. I really am. What if I bring Cay here and she confirms what I said? Will you believe me then? Can you give me another chance?"

"Don't bring her here," I say softly, sounding strangely calm now. I feel as if I'm dead inside. I feel ... nothing. My movements are mechanical, and the words I say come unbidden. He pulls me close, but I stand in his embrace like a column. "Don't leave me, Camille. You're the first woman in years who made it into my heart. It belongs to you now, because you are the only one I want to give it to," he cries.

I show no reaction, give him no tenderness, but merely wait for him to release me. He finally does so.

I look up at him with red eyes from too much crying. "Go now, please," I ask him one more time.

He utters a cry of pain. "My heart will be yours forever." He turns around and leaves my room. When the front door bangs shut, I know he has left.

***

People didn't know that Delsin and I had been a couple at all, so I was able to get all my stuff done on Monday after classes without any gossip or curious questions bothering me. I haven't seen Delsin all day, which is fortunate, for I would not know how to react.

After I booked my flight in a small travel agency off campus, I put the skateboard into my trunk and drive to Avery's place.

In the parking lot, I pull out my phone and call him.

"Oh, Sweetie. How are you doing?" he greets me.

"So-so. Could you please come down to the parking lot for a minute?" I ask him.

"Sure. I'll be down in two minutes."

"Thank you." I get out and take the board out from the trunk. I hold it under my arm and wait for Avery. He is probably going to want me to give it to Delsin myself, but I will refuse to do that. I feel relieved at the thought that I won't run the risk of seeing Delsin anymore after Saturday.

Finally Ave comes out of the house and I approach him with the skateboard.

"You look awful," he tells me by way of a greeting.

I sigh. "Thank you. That's how I feel, too. Fancy that." My smile isn't genuine.

"Why did you want me to come out?" he asks.

I hold up the board. "Could you give it back to Delsin for me? I don't want to have it anymore. I won't go skating on my own anyway," I say.

"Why don't you give it to him yourself?" he wants to know, eyebrow cocked. Ave looks at me with a skeptical expression.

"Because I don't want to see him. Plus, the thing is way too expensive to simply take it and leave. Please, Ave. I owe you one," I plead.

He utters a sign of resignation. "He suffers like a whipped dog."

"I know. I feel the same way," I whisper.

After he has set the board on the ground, Ave places both his hands on my cheeks. "Listen to me, Sweetie: I am the last person to defend Delsin, but I believe him. When we went running, I chased him all over campus because he slept with you, and every time I was about to catch and tackle him, he said he was serious and he wanted to be with you. I have known Delsin for years; he's not going to throw this away lightly: He loves you, even though he barely knows you. He said it was love at first sight. You never were another trophy to him, you were real. You were good for him, and now he feels like hell."

I bite my lip so hard that I fear I'm going to taste blood, but nothing happens. It merely hurts. Then I gasp for air. "Tell him we can maybe be friends some day, but that's all there is now."

"Are you really sure this is going to be your last word?" Ave asks.

"Yes," I lie. I want to be with Delsin, I really do, but it will only lead to more hurt, over and over again. I don't want that. "I am only nineteen and I am not ready for this kind of relationship. He'd destroy me slowly, Ave."

"No," he disagrees. "Delsin is not going to destroy you. He would cherish you and fulfill your every wish. He'd do anything for you, Sweetie, really!"

"No, he won't. Please, Ave, stop trying to convince me. Delsin and I have no future together." Then I take a step backwards.

"Bye, Ave." I walk back to my car and open the door.

"Take care, Sweetie, I mean it," He says with a note of regret in his voice. Then he picks up the skateboard.

"I will." I get in and buckle up, when suddenly someone knocks on my window. I raise my eyes and see Delsin standing there. He gestures for me to roll down the window, but I don't do it. I start the engine and put the gear in reverse. Then I leave.

In the rearview mirror I can see him run his hand through his slightly longish hair and stare after me. Objects in the rearview mirror may be closer than they appear, or was it the other way round? Did I have to meet him now? Fate is a damn cruel traitor. I want to leave this mess behind, and yet it had to bring him out into the parking lot at this exact moment.

I drive home speeding.

When I have parked the car, I retreat into my room. I went to see my doctor this morning, getting a medical certificate so I don't have to sit in my classes for the rest of the week. And I have booked the plane ticket for Wednesday morning, so I can leave earlier than planned. I'll be gone for a few weeks. I'm not even sure whether I will return after the break. At the moment, I don't want to, but I also can't simply disappoint my parents like that. I think I may look around for a different college and continue my studies there. Maybe I'm going to find a good one in Texas. Wouldn't that be the best solution for everyone involved? Delsin would be rid of me and could return to his old life. I could settle back into mine and maybe find someone who truly loves me.

I have reached a point where I have convinced myself that he and I have only imagined our feelings in this short period of time. None of us has said the three words that can weigh so heavily. We will forget each other, or rather, he's going to forget me, but I'm going to remember him forever because he was my first.

Chapter 9

My bags are packed and my flight is canceled, because I will drive home in my own car. It takes about twenty hours to get from Coral Gables to Austin, but I'll manage. My closet is completely empty. Hailey and Thally are totally opposed to my decision to leave Florida behind, but I am no longer open towards any argument for staying. Mom and Buck don't know what they're in for yet, that I'll be staying in Texas after the break. Dad is going to rant and rave once he'll hear of my decision, but I don't need him. Who knows, maybe I'll leave college behind anyway. I could follow in my mother's footsteps. Farmer is a time-honored profession, and I could realize some of the ideas and schemes for the farm I have come up with over the years.

I am loading my suitcases into the trunk of my car when I suddenly hear Delsin's voice behind me: "Don't go."

I flinch as heat suffuses my body, but I don't want to react, don't want to acknowledge him.

I have put two large suitcases into the trunk already and am struggling with the third and smallest one, because the toolbox is in the way.

"Please, Caramel. I can't stand the thought of never seeing you again," he whispers.

Who the hell told him?
I seethe. I take a deep breath and look at him. "It's for the best. For both of us." Then I turn away and walk over to where Ave, Hailey and Thally are standing.

First I hug Hailey tight. "I'll be in Texas on the weekend. I'll come see you," she whispers.

"I'm looking forward to that," I whisper back.

Then I hug Thally, who is crying. "I hate goodbyes. We'll catch up some time during the summer, okay, Cami? Promise me you're going to find the time to come see me."

"Of course," I sniffle, thinking that I hate goodbyes at least as much as she does.

Thally lets go of me and kisses me on the forehead. "Take care of yourself, will you."

I nod and turn to Avery. "I guess this is goodbye then," I say, my voice smaller than ever.

I can see the tears welling in his eyes, too. "But not for good. We're going to meet again," he murmurs and pulls me into a tight embrace. I would never have thought that he could become this close, but he is really the best friend I have.

And I am a terrible friend, because I am turning my back on him, on all of them. I’ve got to do what is best for me, and that is heading home. Ave holds me for much longer than I feel comfortable with right now, but this embrace may be our last, so I don't push him away. "I'm going to miss you," I tell him with a sniffle.

"Me too, but we will phone and chat and meet when I'm going to visit Texas or when you're around. Is that clear?"

I nod quickly. "We will. Promise."

Ave lets me go and kisses me on the cheek. "Talk to him," he whispers.

My hands form into fists as I look over at Delsin. "Okay," I concur and face him.

Ave waves my girl friends away: "Girls, let's give them a moment."

Delsin stands there, hands buried in his pockets, rocking on his heels, watching me. "So this is it, huh?"

"Yes," is all I can say.

He takes a small step towards me. "May I hug you one last time?"

"Okay," I say shyly.

Delsin crosses the distance between us and seems to tower over me. I have to lean my head back to look at him. I'm wearing sneakers today, so the height difference is more pronounced.

He pulls me into an embrace, tentatively, tenderly, and then he caresses my back.

I put my arms around his neck and lay my cheek against his chest for a brief moment.

"Please don't leave me, Camille," he murmurs.