Rough Attraction (23 page)

Maxum saw the track he had laid out now, but he couldn’t turn back. He needed to understand or rather, he was pushing for an excuse to stop feeling what he feared he was. His hand came down over his face scrubbing at it a few times then glanced at Darko watching and waiting for the next stone to be tossed. “So, this friends with benefits and nothing else arrangement— that’s what you like in a man?” Suddenly furious with himself that he’d gone after this man again only to hurt himself in the end. Darko was everything he desired and all of what he feared in a man. He didn’t even give Darko a chance to answer. “I can’t do this with you.” Maxum bolted off the sofa and began to pace across the room, “I can’t have a no-strings-attached relationship. I need something steady. Anything else would wreck my life.”

Even though Darko had already pulled from Maxum’s arms, the absence of their closeness in the cooling air of the room was immediate against Darko’s skin when Maxum moved away. “Funny you should say that because any notion of something beyond fucking your ass and all I see is your
ass
leaving.”

“It’s all we have. It’s all that you want.”

“No. What I want is
you
.” He caught Maxum by the wrist when he paced back within reach and pulled him down over him, despite Maxum’s reluctance to return to his side. “Nothing. But
.
You. Only I want you all the time. Not just for the intense fucking; when you feel up to some strange away from that clog wearing, light loafer you call a boyfriend.” He reached up, his fingers tangling into the nape of Maxum’s neck and pulled him to drop back on the sofa with him drawing him in for a deep kiss. “Of course, don’t expect me to give that part up either.” He released his grip letting his hand slide down the man’s chest as he straightened beside the sofa, his eyes following enjoying what he saw as well as touched. But, he saw those gears still cranking away inside Maxum, he could only try one more ploy to get him to let go and trust him. “Remember all the gay-harmony rubbish I pitched to you that one night?”

“Yeah I remember.” Maxum pushed back up to his feet and stepped away.

“It wasn’t rubbish.” Darko let his head drop back into the pile of buttery soft leather cushions, staring up at the ceiling letting out a heavy sigh. He wouldn’t lie here and tell fairytales of who or what they could be together. Intense passion begat intense everything else. They already showed their equilibrium to pull away as hard as they slammed into each other. But, he couldn’t deny his feelings to try and have Maxum in his life. He couldn’t explain what it was, but the chemistry, the burning attraction was beyond just lust. He just didn’t know how to put it into words that Maxum would hear or convince Maxum to stay around long enough for them to share anything but the sex. And they both seemed to be refusing to put that part of their engagements off.

Darko popped his head up to look at the man standing beautifully naked in the middle of the room. He looked like he’d leave any minute now. Run away. Only problem was this was Maxum’s place. “Be my date for New Year’s.”

Maxum drew away once more, going back to his pacing and his heavily laden thoughts, shaking his head. “No, I can’t.”

“Sure you can. There’s a big bash being held by some of my brother’s friends and I’ve been invited. Who knows, it might be fun.” What he didn’t tell him was it was a fundraiser being hosted by Diesel Gentry for the cancer center. The last thing he wanted Maxum to think was he would use him the same way his boyfriend did. He wasn’t asking Maxum out to make a donation, he just wanted the man to be with him someplace outside the bedroom. Or within range of some other easily fucking accessible area of the homes they occupied.

Maxum sauntered over to the sofa and sat along the edge with an almost apologetic expression. “No, I already have plans and I can’t break them. Obligations that are expected of me.”

“Fine. We can go to both; we’ll start at one and finish off at another.” Darko reached out with a lazy hand to pull him down, but Maxum swung his hand out of his reach and pushed off the sofa once more. It was clear he wanted to be near but not close enough that his barriers could be breached right now.

Maxum thrust his fingers into his hair combing it back forcefully. “I told you this can’t work.”

Darko’s last-ditch hope faded just then. He had been left in the dark for too many days with this one, only to run into him at one of this
fancy-shmancy
socials parading the very man Maxum was supposed to have called it off with. Then out of nowhere showed up like a prowling roadster, wanting to go for a ride on the hotrod tracks. Darko was starting to realize just how used he had been, despite any emotions that Maxum displayed that he was hoping told him it wasn’t intentional. But, enough was enough, he couldn’t call a man into the pit that didn’t want to be on his team. “What can’t?”

“This— whatever you want to call it, this relationship. It won’t work between us.”

“What relationship?” Darko sat upright to interject, “You’re so intent on running, you haven’t even let it have a chance, yet so quick to shun it. Tell me Maxum, why have you been following me? Why do you keep showing up if we can’t be anything with each other?”

Maxum’s face tensed, Darko could see the ripple of clenching muscles along the man’s jaw while he strode to source out a viable argument, but just then the phone rang. Maxum let out a hard huff his eyes glancing at the time posted on his wrist.

There was probably only one person who dared call Maxum at three in the fucking morning and unless Maxum had clients in Japan, Darko was certain he could guess it right on the first try.

And, as if to pay off on the silent bet in his head, Simeon’s voice came over the answering machine trailing down the corridor toward them from wherever the machine was stashed away. They both listened as if hearing the ticking of a time bomb set to go off any second when they both heard the voice over the phone,
“Come over Hun, I missed you tonight.”

The line cut off and the air around them went dead silent. All except for the growing discontent Darko was feeling inside that seemed to roar inside his head. The phone rang again and once more Maxum made no move to answer, letting the machine do it. “
Maxi wont you at least talk to me? I know you didn’t mean what you said and I forgive you. Just come over and it will all work itself out.”

When it rang a third time, Maxum still made no move to answer it. He stood there locked in place. His eyes smoldering. Something had jammed up in the gears now and Darko was guessing it was him, he was still the fucking affair.

When the machine picked up, the wailing act of a desperate man came across
. “I’m going to kill myself if you don’t talk to me, Maxi hun. Please. I’m gonna do it, I mean it.”

Maxum dropped to the sofa, elbows landing on knees and his face fell into his hands. “I can’t deal with this.” He mumbled, then let out a raging growl of pent up aggravation, before throwing his hands down and surrendering to the caller’s ploy.

But, to whom was Maxum mumbling it to, Darko wasn’t sure. To him? Or to himself? Either way, he wasn’t planning on sticking around for any more of it. He watched as Maxum grabbed the phone from the table and without even glancing in his direction answered, playing out his best
you just woke me up
tone, “It’s late— is anything wrong?” Maxum dragged his hand down over his face then back up to swipe his hair from his face. “No. It’s late. I was sleeping, what else would I be doing?”

Darko felt the rage singeing on the cusp of jealousy, making it worse was listening to this man lie to another about what he had just been doing. Maxum wasn’t cheating on him to play husband to the
June Clever
of queers, Maxum was cheating on Simeon to have his nuts sated by him.

Darko shoved up to his feet and came around the sofa, to the pile of clothes that lay there and began to dress, torn between wanting to make all the possible noise he could and just slipping away quietly with his pain clamped around his chest like a vice. It was probably a good thing he didn’t have a bottle of ale in his hand or he’d most definitely send it catapulting across the room, because right now nothing would feel better then a sudden surge of physical energy. “I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit here quietly while you play the loyal husband to the man you supposedly broke up with.”

“I did break up with him.” Maxum’s head popped up, his attention shifting from the phone to the man who had departure written all over his face. He dropped the phone to his lap, he reached to catch the dodging body of Darko, but was unsuccessful, and his eyes followed the man.

“Then why is he calling?” Darko growled a low response. He was beyond caring what the answer was right now. Pain was threatening him and he wanted to be out before it hit him hard. He’d likely punch the man for it.

“Why do you think? I’m sorry if my break up isn’t as friendly of a cut and dry ordeal as perhaps yours turn out.”

Darko shook his head in disgust, “You deserve the pajama wearing pansy.”

“Your insults of him are not making this any easier for me right now. So why must you?”

Darko knew he was in the wrong and under normal circumstances, he could care less what Simeon wore or how he acted, but at the moment his own selfish heart was in the mix and he needed a kicking cat. “Because you insult
me
at every turn treating me like I’m just some free rent boy!”

Darko’s emotions were steaming like a kettle when a hand grabbed his arm and spun him around. The phone, still in Maxum’s hand, was pressed against his thigh to block any incriminating words, “Where’re you going?” Maxum scowled at him.

Oh, narcissistic royalty must have lurked deep in this one’s lineage to ask such a vain thing
. Darko thought and shoved him back, sending the man stumbling, regrettably not hard enough to send him to the floor. His eyes dropped to the other set of clothes and to the wallet that he had retrieved the condom packet from, the greenish white corners peeking out lured him down to snatch it up. He flipped the edges open, took out several bills and dropped the rest back to the floor. His pain steeped into full stinging rage in his eyes as he glared at Maxum trying to read the look he had, watching him take the money.

“The
fuck
was on the house as usual, but you will be covering my cab fare home.” And out the door he went, not bothering to have everything buttoned up before he made it out. There was still a long elevator ride down.

Maxum stood there stunned. He waited with bated breath, half trying to convince himself that the man would come raging back in, but he didn’t and Maxum felt the sinking in his chest as clearly as if he was feeling the elevator take him away. Despite all the fuss and argument he made, Darko walking out on him was the worst feeling of all and he finally realized why.

“
Maxi hun?”
Simeon’s voice bled over from the phone and Maxum slowly lifted the receiver back to his ear.

“Don’t call me any more Simeon. You and I were over a long time ago. It’s high time I got on with my life.”

“
But
—”

“No, Sim. You don’t love me and I don’t love you. The man I love just walked out the door of my apartment on account of this phone call and now I need to find a way to convince him I’m worth him coming back to. Goodbye Simeon.” And his thumb hit the button disconnecting the call.

~  *  ~  *  ~  *  ~  *  ~  *  ~

CHAPTER ELEVEN

~  *  ~  *  ~  *  ~  *  ~  *  ~

New Year’s Eve, Darko showed up at Diesel Gentry’s
New Year-New Hope Event
, toting a last minute date. He hated things like this, without some self indulged company and Dane wasn’t fairing him to be Vida’s date again anytime soon. So, one of the guys from the team hooked him up with a friend and already he was wishing he hadn’t. However, things with Maxum had him feeling a little insecure and he’d spent the last two nights obsessing over what he might have done differently, to be seen as more than a good romp in the sack. He really should have gone to talk with Pyotr, but had opted to keep away. His brother already had his mind and heart breaking with Kimmi’s steadily failing health. Instead, Darko gave himself the answers he figured his brother would have given him.

Some fires burn too hot, while they like it, it’s not easy to partake and not fear getting burned.

Darko let out a heavy sigh as the drummed up answer rolled through his mind. He could hear Pyotr saying something along those words— or something remotely like that. He interceded the groan he’d likely have dispelled as more thoughts and discouragements leaked into his head, realizing he just didn’t have his brother’s insight enough to answer his own questions, but he didn’t want Sognac listening in on his thoughts. He wished he could have spoken to his brother; especially when Maxum’s name kept coming up on his caller ID. Still he wouldn’t bother him with this. He’d find a way to manage on his own. He just wished he hadn’t chosen Sognac to do it with. The man was trying too hard to be the top and it agitated him further.

Even when they pulled up in front of the hotel, Sognac gave instructions so he could lead. “Stay where you are so I can get the door for you, baby.” then hopped out to dash around. Darko rolled his eyes, shaking his head, and he opened the door to step out just as Sognac was reaching for it. His date gave him a flustered look and Darko only patted his face like a
better-luck-next-time-ol-chum,
smack to the face.

He should have done this solo. He’d have enough friends and family here to enjoy himself, but the truth was he brought a date to distract his thoughts from the man he wanted to be with.

~  *  ~  *  ~  *  ~  *  ~  *  ~

To his relief, Maxum spotted Trenton Leos and Diesel Gentry right away, and as usual they had already retreated into a partitioned off corner for a spell. Maxum wasn’t quite ready to take on the crowd of social butterflies. So, he made a fast B-line to join them, stepping up to the small private bar tucked out of the way from the blustering of guests mingling at the event. He pointed to the two bottles on the shelf knowing they were reserved specifically for him. The bartender held them up, one in each hand for a closer look, “Which would you like?”