Rouge (20 page)

“I brought you a little something just in case. To help you remember.”

I opened the small box to find a golden locket. He opened the locket to reveal a tiny picture of himself inside. I stared at it, still unable to smile.

“It’s charming,” I said.

He chuckled and turned me around to fasten it at my neck. It was too long and slipped between my breasts. When he turned me back around, I didn’t lift it for him. I held my breath as he silently observed its new position. The air felt charged as I waited for his response, ready to welcome anything that might take us with him to
Paris
. But he only pulled the delicate chain, lifting the locket into his hand while preserving my
décolletage
.

Our eyes met, and I sighed with frustration. “Oh, Freddie.”

His face flushed, and he held my shoulders, kissing me deeply again. “It’s where I long to rest my head,” he whispered against my cheek. “Just above your heart.”

“How can you leave me?” My almost-tears were real this time. It was unbearable that he could be so controlled.

“It’s going to be excruciating. But I want you to hold this locket every night and know that I’m thinking of you. Until we’re together again.”

I was numb as I nodded in agreement. “Goodbye,” I whispered, causing Freddie to clutch me again in a long embrace.

“I have to admit. Your fatalism pleases me. But I’ll be back before you know it, darling. Sooner if at all possible. And in the meantime, I’ll just be working around the clock so as not to be constantly thinking of how miserable I am without you.”

I nodded again, this time unable to reply or make eye contact. It was all over.

“All right, then, well. One last kiss, and I must depart.” He squeezed my hands before pressing his lips to mine and giving me another long embrace. “I love you,
ma petite cherie
,” he said.

At the last moment I looked up to watch him disappear through the exit, and a cold certainty washed down my spine. No more safety net. We were on our own.

I returned to my dressing table as if in a trance. I put my hand around the golden locket and stared at it a few moments. Then by force of habit, I let it go and reached for the pot of cold cream to clean the greasepaint off my face.
M
y hand
faltered,
and my glance flickered to the mirror. My eyes were the same hazel they’d always been, and my shiny hair was swept away and up in a style that sent my large, dark curls cascading down my back. But I looked different now. Haunted. Desperate.

My thoughts swirled. I couldn’t give up. I had to fight this. Again I imagined leaving, running away. But where would we go? I had no money, no family. I could pawn these new gifts Freddie had given me—the diamond bracelet, the comb, this locket—but how long would that last?

I thought of taking us to one of the riverboats. I could easily get a job in one of those productions. But what about Teeny? Would they let her stay with me if she had nothing to contribute? I wiped the cream from my face with a tissue as I tried to force my brain to find a solution. I pulled the pins out of my hair and started brushing, and my thoughts drifted to Beau. He kept saying he’d take care of us, but his job was in
New Orleans
. How could he get us out of the city?

Just then the door opened and Teeny walked in and sat on the bed. She had an odd expression on her face. “Guy’s back,” she said, looking down.

I dropped the brush, and it hit the dressing table with a loud crash. She jumped at the sound, but I was already at the door, slamming it closed and sliding the bolt.

“Where is he?” I whispered. “Did you see him?”

She continued looking down, and I noticed her hands twisting her dress. “He’s out there. He wanted to talk to me backstage. And I did.”

“What did he say?” My heart was hammering against my ribs.

She took a trembling breath. “He asked me to go with him to
Atlanta
.”

I blinked as my eyes widened. “
Atlanta
?”

“He said he missed me so much the last time, he wants me with him. Always.”

I went to the bed and sat beside her. “Did he say
why
he wants you with him?”

“To keep him company.” She picked up a little pillow, and I saw her hands shake. “He said I pleased him.”

I caught her arms and turned her to face me. “But you’re afraid.”

Her eyes met mine. “I’m not sure I trust him now.”

“Why?”

She blushed and looked down. I shook her arms. “What happened?”

She cleared her throat as her cheeks grew a deeper pink, then she slid a copper lock back to reveal a blood-red mark on her neck.

“Oh, god,” I gasped. “What’s that?”

“He did it,” she whispered. “And he touched me.”

A
tremor
ra
ced
through my body. “Where?”

She looked down, wrapping an arm across her small chest as a tear slid down her nose. Fear was replaced by a rage I’d never felt before, and I clenched my teeth. I almost couldn’t breathe for the hatred coursing through
me
. I stood and began to pace our small room. I had made this deal, not her.

“You’re not to go near him. Ever again.”

“But how…”

“If you see him, you run away. Run to me or to Evie. Or Beau.”

I watched as more tears pooled in her eyes. “It’s too late, isn’t it?”

“What?”

“I heard Freddie say he’s leaving, and now it’s too late.”

My own anxiety came rushing back then, and I went to the door, double-checking the bolt before turning to remove my costume. I swallowed the knot that never left the base of my throat. I was frightened, but there was something new and different in me now, too. A determination I didn’t know I possessed. We were
not
trapped, and I
would
find a way to save us. I draped the peacock-blue corset across the back of my chair and slid my hand under my pillow to remove my nightgown. I slipped it over my head and turned Teeny around.

“Get ready for bed,” I ordered as I helped her with her laces. She remained in her chemise as we slipped under the covers.

As we’d done since her first night here, I pulled her back into my chest and smoothed her hair away from her face, trying to calm the tremors that kept passing through her body into mine. The moonlight was streaming through our tiny window when I began to speak.

“Your mother was a gorgeous dancer,” I said in a low voice.
Her body shook
hard as I began the fairytale story of her family, the one I’d used to lull her to sleep since she was a little girl. They were the same words I’d spoken in the middle of the night when she’d awaken in the dark, frightened by a bad dream. The same words I summoned now to comfort her.

I took a deep breath and continued. “And when she met your dad, she couldn’t help but love him. He played such beautiful music on the guitar.”

My arm was tight around her waist, and I felt her trembling begin to subside, her fear dissipating because she trusted me. It was all she knew to do. My eyes grew damp, but I cleared my throat and continued.

“He had no money to marry her, so he went away to find his fortune. But before he could return, she was married to another man. He came back anyway, and she went to him. And nine months later, you were born. But your beautiful mother had to return to her husband, so she left you with me until she could come back to collect you—”

“It’s all a lie,” she suddenly cried out. “She’s never coming back, and something terrible’s going to happen to us.”

“I won’t let anything terrible happen to you,” I said, my voice low and firm. “I told you that, and you have to believe me.”

She didn’t answer, so I continued to my next story. “In a month, Freddie’ll be back, and I’ll quit the show.”

“Did he propose?”

“He will. And we’re moving to
Paris
, where we’ll live in a house on the Avenue Montaigne and have a carriage and furs—”

“And a little dog,” she said, the smallest glint of hope returning. “And you’ll wear diamonds—”

“And we’ll never t
hink about this place,” I said, swallowing
my fear. “Ever again.”

Hours passed as I lay in the darkness listening to Teeny breathe. Desperation had me by the throat, making it impossible to sleep. I couldn’t stop thinking of how we might escape until finally I gave up and slipped out of the bed.

I crept to the door, sliding the bolt and stepping out into the dark passage, and I made my way down the hall to
Rosa
’s room. Her light was still on, so I tapped lightly. She opened the door a crack and saw it was me, then she opened it wide enough to allow me to enter. I walked through the door, and she quickly shut it behind me, turning the lock.

“Why are you up?” she asked, going back to her chair.

Her room was much larger than ours, with a sitting area and a place in the back corner for a hot plate. She also had a large window with a box for plants. On her little table was a glass of green liquid. A silver spoon rested across the top holding a sugar cube, and I watched as she slowly poured water over it. I’d seen her do this before, but it still made me uneasy. I’d heard of people going crazy or dying from taking absinthe.

When the white square was gone, she placed the spoon beside a bowl of sugar cubes and took the milky liquid to her lips. She sipped and then leaned back, closing her eyes. After a few moments she murmured, “Tulips.”

“I need your help,” I said, still watching her.

She opened her eyes and looked at me. “Help?”

“I’ve got to leave, to get Teeny out of here, but I don’t know how… or where to go.”

She lifted the glass and took another sip. “Why?”

“The night of my birthday, when you had her here with you—”

“Did Beau come to you?” She smiled in a dreamy way.

“No. Gavin did.”

She jerked her head up, eyes open. “Gavin?”

“He came to tell me about Guy.”

“Oh.”
Rosa
relaxed, taking another sip of the cloudy, white drink. “
Guy.
” she repeated.

“He wants Teeny.”

She sniffed and shrugged. “Then he’ll have her.”

I jumped and quickly went around the small table to sit beside her, clutching her sleeve. “I won’t let that happen. I won’t let him hurt her.”

She patted my hand. “No one stops Guy.”

I stood and walked to the other side of her room. A collection of absinthe spoons rested on a shelf, and I carefully touched a pointed one that had cutouts in the design of flames all over it.

“It used to scare me when you did this.”

She chuckled. “You were easily frightened.”

“I’d lost everyone. I didn’t want to lose you, too.”

“Only the addicts die. The ones who crave the pure oil.”

“The pure oil’s poisonous?”

“Enough of it.” She lay back and closed her eyes again. I watched her for a few moments.

“I told Gavin I’d take her place.”

She glanced at me and then chuckled again, shaking her head. “He’ll never let that happen.”

“I won’t let anyone hurt her.”

She didn’t respond, and I watched her a few minutes, thinking about what she’d said. And then, as if a window had opened allowing a cool breeze to blow through, a solution passed over me. I knew what I had to do.

“He wanted you back then,” she mumbled, taking another sip. “Watched you when he thought no one was looking.”

Her mind was crossing over into the dream state of absinthe-takers, and I wasn’t sure how much of what she was saying now was true.

“Your mother stopped him, but she took a beating for it. That’s why he left.” Her speech was slowing. “Gavin wanted him dead for hurting her.”

“I’ve never head that story.”

“No one talks about it. Or about Guy.”

I could tell those were her last words for the night, and I stood and walked over to where she sat. “Thanks,” I said, kissing her cheek. “It’s going to be alright now. I know what to do.”

The fear had left me as I went to the door and opened it, going back down the passage to my room. Calm filled my mind. The calm of knowing exactly how I would handle this. My path was plain, and I knew I wouldn’t falter.

But first I had an errand to run.

* * *

Roland was amused when I asked him to take me to the cottage on
St. Ann Street
the next morning. I found him at the piano as always, a cigarette hanging from his lips.

“We don’t have time for field trips,” he said.