Rotten (11 page)

Behind my eyelids, we were children again, innocent and beautiful, lying in the back of the pick-up under the stars with a flashlight, reading my father’s Penthouse magazines. The women looked like the ones at the club.

“Let me see your boobies, Toni.”

Opening the top of my shirt, I looked down and back at him, disappointed. “I don’t have any, David. I’m not old enough, yet.”

He was not deterred. “Let me just see. C’mon, you chicken? I will show you my dick.”

I was curious; I wanted to see it. Would I get over my embarrassment for the sake of sating the urge? Tentatively, I grabbed the edges of my shirt and lifted it over my head. He held up his flashlight and inspected my prepubescent body without reserve. His fingers traced across the buds that would grow one day into a voluptuous shape. Although it was still over eighty degrees, a strong chill raced down my spine.

“Okay, you got to see. Now take off your pants.”

He shook his head and put the flashlight down. “Nope, you need to kiss me first.”

I grabbed my shirt and clutched it to my chest. “That wasn’t the deal. You said.”

He reached out and yanked the shirt, hiding it behind his back, taunting me. “C’mon, Toni, just give me a kiss. Do it, or I will kick your butt.”

“Gimme back my shirt, David. You’re being mean!” I was growing irritated and just wanted to cover up. I knew it wasn’t proper for me to be out here like this, even though my daddy had no idea what was going on. He thought we were just watching the meteor shower and camping out like we often did.

With a mischievous grin, David continued to whip the shirt around in a circle above his head.

“Fine, just do it, then give me back my shirt.” I knelt down and closed my eyes, pursing my lips into a fish face. Cocking one eye open, I watched his hands reach out and felt them gently touch the sides of my face.

“I have to do it like the movies.” He was so serious that I opened both of my eyes as he came closer.

“Close your eyes, Toni; girls can’t watch when they are getting kissed.”

He is so bossy,
I thought to myself. I reluctantly closed my eyes, yet still kept one open just a crack. I relaxed my lips once his touched mine.

“Open your mouth, Toni.”

I did not hesitate. Parting my lips slightly, I felt his tongue slide through and start to swipe slowly back and forth. Unsure of what to do, I followed his lead. I could taste the peanut butter from our dinner sandwiches and the remaining salt crystals from the potato chips.

“Lay down.”

Backing away, I reached out my hand. “Give me my shirt. I’m getting cold.”

He now held it close against him, afraid to give it back. “Will you kiss me again if I give it back?”

I nodded and reached out to swipe it away. “Why do you want to kiss me anyways? You always say I’m gross.”

He stretched out on the sleeping bags and put his arms behind his head. “You ain’t gross, Toni. I’m just pickin’ on you when I say that. I need practice for when I kiss other girls. I need to be real good at it.”

After pulling on my shirt, I laid down next to him. “You won’t be kissing any girls. Who’s going to want to kiss you?”

With all certainty, he looked at me and smiled. “Yes, I will – lots of ‘em. I’m just starting with you.”

We pulled up to the hospital a short while later, the trip over as soon as my eyes opened again. The memory had brought me a fleeting moment of joy.

“God, you totally molested me!” I started to chuckle hard while getting off the bike.

Getting defensive, he retorted, “When? I sure as hell don’t remember that!”

Handing him the helmet, I lightly smacked it against his chest. “No, silly, when we were kids, in the truck. That night you stole my shirt and made me kiss you for practice.”

He looked far away and started to smile. “That was one of the greatest nights of my life. I forgot about it. What made you think of it?”

“I don’t know – something about being on the bike. I closed my eyes, and it just came to mind, and I let the memory play.”

As the cool air of the hospital offered us relief, we found the elevator and hit the third floor. His hand found the small of my back and pressed slightly.

“That’s a good memory.”

Erin’s sultry voice washed me in comfort. “Hello, dahhhhllinnnggg.” She sounded the second word slowly and dramatically.

“Hello, beautiful,” I responded.

“So she lives. I was beginning to think I needed to hop on a plane and lead a search party into some fabulous hotel where you might be holed up with a tanned cabana boy, drinking margaritas.”

Looking over towards David who was filling a shopping cart with bottles of alcohol, I grinned and laughed under my breath. “Um, you’re not too far off.” Her squeal made me pause next to the wall of imported beers and close my eyes.

“Send me a picture, now!”

“Erin, okay, I will call you back in a second; he’s right here.”

Walking quickly towards David, I tapped his shoulder and told him, “Hold still!”

Looking a little confused, he immediately smiled as I raised my cell phone to snap a photo. It must have been a secondary reflex from posing with so many fans. His smile was gorgeous, and considering his two front teeth were knocked out early and his mouth was now adorned with falsies, it still reached his eyes and pulled out the deep dimples on each side.

“You call that the panty dropper?” I raised one eyebrow while approving the picture before sending it off.

“Nah, this is the one that gets the ladies.” His hand reached around my waist and pulled me close, looking down at me with glazed eyes, so serious and full of lust, I could feel my thong start to slide down towards my knees as my heart rate increased.

“Wow, that’s pretty good. Mine’s better, though.”

I dropped my head slightly and looked up through my eyelashes. Pouting my lips slightly, I pulled the lower one in between my teeth and bit lightly while rolling my head to the side, exposing the curve of my shoulder. I smiled coyly as my hands glided up his chest and started to stroke the nape of his neck.

He leaned down and brought his mouth to my ear, the hot breath stirring warmth in other places.

“You’re the devil,” he said in a hushed whisper and then backed away.

Feeling flushed, I took out my cell again and walked outside to sit on the curb.

Erin answered right away. “Holy Mary, who is that? I want him to fuck me sideways!”

“He would probably do it; he’s not picky.” If I were sitting next to her, a hard object would be flying at me, and yet I still flinched while waiting for her response.

“You didn’t answer my question. Who is that?”

“His name is David, we grew up together, and he’s been helping me get some things in line while my daddy’s in the hospital.”

I left out his last name. Erin was an avid sports fanatic and would know instantly who he was, and I wasn’t prepared to have that conversation right now. I preferred the version of David that I knew, not what the media had made him out to be.

“So, has rain finally fallen in the desert or is your cranky ass still in a dry spell?” Her voice was full of anticipation at the potential promise of juicy gossip that usually never came from me.

I blew out hard and picked up a rock, throwing it out into the field next to the store. “I’m not having this conversation right now, but for your information, I am pretty sure I have regenerated a hymen.”

Erin knew the truth. She was that friend who bought me a new vibrator for my birthday every year, even before all of this; now she just gave me batteries at Christmas – the bulk packs from club warehouses.

“He seems like a perfectly good specimen to reverse the process.”

I stood up and brushed the dust off my shorts as David approached me with the loaded cart. “He actually claimed the first one; it would be appropriate now, too, wouldn’t it? I gotta go – I will call you later.”

Her cries of protest were loud and obnoxious as I went to swipe the end key on my phone. I chuckled, thinking about how that little bit of knowledge would be eating at her until we spoke again. I knew she was kidding, but it didn’t stop the thought from crossing my mind at least seven times a minute.

In my fantasizing, every inch of his solid body had been thoroughly licked and explored. He decimated me on average six times an hour. It couldn’t be healthy to think about having sex this many times in a twenty-four hour period. My brain was on dopamine overload from being stimulated so frequently. The receptors in my nose noticed every pheromone his body exuded when he was near. I was certain my head was about to explode at any moment. Heaven forbid his pants dip any lower the next time he was working in the house shirtless and expose the deep curves into his groin, or that he raise his arms above his head to stretch, and every ripple of his latissimus muscles look like tan wings on an angel, spreading out in each direction.

I am seriously fucked
.

“Why do you look like you’re ready to eat me like a sandwich?” He caught me gawking at him while lost in thought.

“Because I want you to take me to eat a sandwich; I am really hungry. I am daydreaming about BLTs or maybe a veggie burger.”

He didn’t buy it for a moment. Helping him to load the bottles into the back, I avoided eye contact, suddenly feeling flushed again. A few minutes later, he asked what I was in the mood for.

“Can we do Chinese food?”

He grinned slyly and looked back out onto the road.

Royally Fucked.

In between mouthfuls of Kung Pao chicken and fried rice, I could tell he was studying me. He chewed purposefully and without hurry.

“What?” I didn’t like being under anyone’s scrutiny.

After taking a slow draw of his beer, he set the bottle down and started to pick at the label.

“You know, they say people who pick off labels are sexually frustrated.” I said matter-of-factly.

Finishing another corner, he snatched my bottle and started to pick it off as well. “I don’t imagine that’s true. If so, why is yours intact?”

The egg roll in my hand was too hot to bite, so I blew on it while gathering my thoughts. “I know it’s unfathomable to you that someone could go that long without sex, but contrary to what you may think, you won’t die without it. You just have a lot of energy that has to be channeled in other ways.”

I knew he wanted to ask questions. I sensed it once I told him, but he was waiting for the right time.

“You’re right. I don’t now how the fuck you’ve done it. I mean, you’re hot, so you don’t have to. I understand you’re married and all, but damn, it’s like some kind of cruel joke.”

I raised my eyebrows and curled my lip to the side. “I’m a compulsive masturbator; it helps but never quite does the job. I get off, but I’m never satisfied. You should see my collection of toys; I could open my own business. Seriously though, it was pretty bad, but I just got used to it.”

His face dropped and grew sad. “Toni, that’s not something anyone should have to get used to. I get that there’s more at play, but you would think that he’d do something else to please you. There are other ways of getting the job done without going the conventional route.”

I held back the tears I wanted to shed. It was exactly how I felt as well, but no amount of arguing, pleading, or crying would change it. I tried multiple times and failed.

“I’m done talking about this, okay? I’d rather hear about you going ass to mouth in a port-o-let, if you don’t mind.”

I was hoping my sharp quip would make him spit out a little bit of his food, but he knew what I was doing and was unmoved. For the rest of the afternoon, the topic was not brought up again, and I doubted he would unless I did it myself. I found comfort in knowing that we only took what the other offered. No pushing or prying. We could simply be. In a time so uncertain of anything, it was the one thing I knew I could count on.

We had taken our fortune cookies with us to the car and cracked them open on the drive back to the club.

“You will come to realizations in your life that will change you forever,” David said as he handed me the fortune and added, “in bed.”