Roth (3 page)

Logan was only a child
; he didn’t deserve the ending he got, and I can’t live knowing his murderer is free. Ival is far scarier than the machines that control us, and I know he enjoyed hurting Marduke by killing Logan. He enjoyed inflicting pain, and I plan on letting him know how that feels.

Hank settles in next to me, his body tense and his hands locked into fists. He’s angry, agitated and frustrated.
The carefree Hank I had known is long gone. I doubt I will ever see that man again. Instead, I only have Hank the warrior, the fighter.

Also long gone is the person I used to be. I am
lost. My only purpose is to get revenge, and maybe, if we can have some sort of miracle, we can get Earth back.

***

We don’t speak again, but I know all three of us don’t sleep. Brick never returns, and as soon as the second sun rises, Hank leaves.

I’m lost in my own thoughts, my own memories
, when Andy interrupts me.

“I wish you’d realise how foolish your plan is.”

I turn my head, watching as Andy struggles to get to his feet. He often appears fearless and strong, both physically and mentally, but at times like these, when he attempts to get on his feet after a night on a hard surface, I see his age coming through.

“I do
,” I admit.

“I know you’re hurting, so is Hank, but this isn’t the answer. You kids are young; you’ve got your whole…” He winces
. Hank’s words about Roth having no life for us are most likely echoing in his mind. “You’ve got too much to lose. You’re too young to throw it all away. I lost my wife ten years ago, and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. Now… now, I’m going to lose my boy.” His voice hitches and my heart breaks into pieces. How much more heartbreak can I handle?

“I’m sorry Mr. Fields, but
—”

“It’s Andy,” he interrupts.

“Right. Andy, it’s not so easy. He’s hurting. I’m hurting. I can’t stand to live another second on this planet. I hate it here, and I’d rather die trying to do something useful than be here.”

“You’re both being stubborn. It’s not great here, I know, but we can get through this. We just need to stick together.”

“Don’t you want to get Earth back? Don’t you want to be home again?”

“Home to what? We’ve already lost so many men and women
; what are we going back to if we all go to war? I know you’re away from your parents and friends, and I understand that this is harder for you, but I still have my boys. I can’t stand to lose them. I promised their mother I’d take care of them. I can’t sit by and watch my boy kill himself.”

“There are causalities in war
. Without them, we’d have lost many wars before this,” I point out.

“But you’re not going to win this
. There is no chance. I’m going to lose Hank, and it’s going to tear me apart. Then it’s going to tear Brick apart, and I’ll have lost them both.”

My heart aches for him, knowing his pain won’t ever go away. Hank won’t give up this fight and nothing Andy says will change it.

“Listen, I know I never met your parents, but I know you’re a good kid. I knew it from the visits you had when Hank brought you and Lisa over. I feel like I owe it to your parents to keep you safe, so you’re important to Hank as well as to me. I don’t want to lose either of you. You need to be smart, and this mission you’re determined to follow through with isn’t smart.”

I tear up at his words, imaging that
, if Dad were here, he’d be giving me a similar speech. He would be begging me not to do this, yet it doesn’t change how I feel.

I need to do this.

“Just think about it.” Andy’s hand rests heavily on my shoulder, no doubt seeing the lost cause that I am. Then he leaves me alone in the tent while I wipe at my eyes.

I haven’t cried much since I arrived on Roth. When I’m living in my nightmares and just after I wake
, I can’t help the tears that fall. However, when I’m awake, I try to stay away from crying.

Crying feels like
I am accepting what I’m feeling, and I refuse to accept this pain. Not until I’ve made Ival pay for what he’s done. Not until this is over.

I take deep breaths
, and once my eyes dry, I stand and move out into the cool air.

Tents litter the ground
, making a maze to get through. There is no order in how they have been dumped. One of the first things we got here were tents. Most were set up when I arrived. Hank, Brick and Andy were already sharing one when I joined. It’s a little cramped, but there is enough for three small mats, so Hank and I share ours when the weather permits it.

Other supplies
that have been brought in are toilets and showers. The toilets are just the portable ones found at festivals or construction sites. The showers were only installed a few days after I arrived. So for people that had spent a few weeks on here before I came, they were long overdue.

Medical supplies have been dropped here, but people avoid the medical tent like the plague. The doctors that work there are part of what everyone believe are the “brainwashed humans
.” No one has figured out they’re not human at all. There has been a lot of anger directed at them as well as them being considered traitors. Hate and abuse are so common there isn’t anywhere that doesn’t have machines guarding the area.

The machines have killed several of the humans
; all of them were fighting either the machines or the “brainwashed humans.” They were quickly eliminated. Most people avoid them now, knowing there is no easy way to disable the machine. Not even our secret knowledge of how to kill them helps anyone. We have no guns and no way of getting any manmade weapons to the backs of their necks since they are as tall as two-story buildings.

As I work my way through the tents, I try to block out the cries I still hear. I try to ignore the constant pain people are in over what
they have lost and what they are going through. Yet, sometimes, I can’t help hearing every single thing. It’s why I can’t understand why more people aren’t rising up and fighting. Don’t they all want revenge, too? Don’t they want to
do
something?

I walk past the large tent set up for where we eat. While they’ve been bringing in bottles of water and other beverages, they’ve kept the food bland and disgusting. I force myself to eat once a day, but I’m never hungry. Pe
rhaps one day they will bring in ingredients that will make the food taste better, but obviously it’s not a priority of theirs.

I hit up the showers, which is the only place I allow any tears to escape. I can tell myself that I’m not crying when the water is running over my face. I tell myself a lot of lies lately.

The showers don’t have much privacy, however without a conscious decision, everyone uses each entry set up under a gender. The women always enter from the left side and use the showers closest. The men use the right entrance.

At first
, Hank used to walk me everywhere. I think he assumed there would be at least a few crazy and horny men who wouldn’t ask before taking what they wanted. As far as I know, there haven’t been any incidents of that, though. I have never felt unsafe, at least not from my fellow humans.

My main issue comes from Marduke’s vest that I can’t take off.
I get a few curious looks when I shower wearing it, and while I played it off as just being shy, I worry they might find out I’m wearing something that is very much alien technology.

My fellow humans might be behaving normally t
owards me now, but what happens if they ever found out that I not only slept with an alien, but I loved him? As long as I wear this vest, there is always the chance my secret might come out, and since I can never take it off, it is bound to happen sooner or later.

The water is cold; there is no hot water on Roth. So my shower is quick
, and I use my sweater to dry off before placing it back on over my t-shirt. The vest dries quickly and it helps to keep my body temperate regulated. If only Marduke had given me a pair of socks that kept me warm for when I tried to sleep during the colder nights.

When I step out of the showers
, I find Hank waiting for me. He looks serious and maybe even a little excited.

“What’s going on?”

“We have a lead,” he says, walking past me. I have to jog to catch up.

I don’t ask him anything else, knowing we’re heading in the direction of Kane’s tent. He’s another one who wants to fight
, another person willing to die.

Kane is incredibly intimidating
. Easily a foot taller than my six feet, he’s also wide enough to touch the sides of any normal size doorway back home. He’s strong and his eyes are always narrowed. He is an angry guy, one that used to be a fighter jet pilot.

The other two men
, who are waiting for us and also part of our small army, are just as determined as us to fight. While they’re not as scary as Kane in appearance, they were both in the American army and are trained for combat. The only issue is that they are perhaps in their early twenties and are beginning to waste away. That is the problem with being here. People aren’t eating properly—given the disgusting white mush we only have access to—and they’re not exercising. People are losing body fat and muscle.

Rob and John, the two army men, are willing to sacr
ifice their lives with us because dying pointlessly is unacceptable to them. Kane is here purely for revenge. He wants to take down as many “alien fucking scum” as he can. Hank told me his girlfriend was also a pilot and he witnessed her death moments before he was taken onto the spaceship that brought him here.

“It’s going down today
,” Kane states and eyes me warily. I know he doesn’t think I should be part of this. Not because I’m a woman, but because I have no prior experience. Hank gets a pass because his entire family are cops, going back three generations. He’s been raised for this life apparently. Never mind the fact that he was playing basketball before all this happened and not at all training to become a cop.

Although,
I think Hank might have explained to him about Marduke because, even though I know he doesn’t think I belong, he has never said it to my face. He lost someone, too, so he is not going to argue with me over whether I deserve to see some revenge handed out.

“Why today?”

“I overheard one of the brainwashed freaks saying more supplies would be in today. Since you know they don’t come on a schedule, you’ll also know we’re lucky to have been given warning about this one. We need to get into position now.” Kane nods at Hank, who nods back, signalling that he agrees.

My stomach tightens and my heart pounds. After weeks of talking about it, we’re finally doing something.
Excitement and nerves attack me at once, but I swallow them down, imagining that dark hole living and growing inside me sucking them up.

Now is not the time to let my emotions get the better of me. Now is the time to get my revenge.
We need to take that first step in getting Earth back.

So while we stare at each other, hoping our plan works and we can make it to the next stage, none of us realise the hell
we will be opening ourselves up to. Not a single one of us could have guessed we would have a worse foe than the machines. Even worse than Marduke’s people. By implementing our plan, we will soon be immersed in death and imminent danger.

Basically, today is the day
the human race’s future on Roth becomes screwed.

Chapter 2

Marduke

It has only been three days of my forced imprisonment, and I am beginning to lose it. I’m not sure why I have been left in my room on Oden, all alone. I understand punishment, but usually it involves pain. I’ve never been put in solitary confinement before. If the circumstances were different, I would prefer this than the pain that is usually doled out, but not now. I want this punishment over and done with. I need to get out of here and find Mattie.

I stare across this room at a blank part of the wall su
rrounding me. Doors on Oden don’t exactly exist. They never have, not like on Earth. All around me are solid walls except, when the correct button is pressed, a door appears. It’s incredibly ordinary, although now I can’t help seeing this from Mattie’s eyes. She’s used to seeing a door, used to having an obvious exit and entry. I wonder what she would make of this.

I don’t have access to a monit to open my door, and the voice activated switch has been turned off. The only door I
can open is the one that leads to my bathroom.

Once a day
, a guard delivers my food to me and I contemplate trying to fight my way past him. I’ll probably be able to take the guard on because there has only ever been the one man who comes. However, it’s my fear of what to do next that bothers me—if I attack the guard, I will just end up in deeper trouble.

If possible
, I need to get out of here and leave without my father noticing. When I’m no longer being punished, he will have no reason to ask for me. I will be forgotten, at least while he’s dealing with the humans and Earth.

I tap my foot along the ground. I have a window in this room, something else I am able to make visible to me. My room overlooks a grassy area, patrolled by guards, and then there is the cliff.
Yet, it’s a long drop down to the water below where there are crashing waves and sharp edged rocks.

Oden is mostly comprised of water. Jyin, which is where I am right now, is the biggest island. Thinking back over Earth, it’s probably a little bigger than India. We have several smaller islands scattered across Oden, which is where most of the humans are being kept.
The one I can see deep into the distance from where I am is just a small dot to my eyes.

There are very few humans on Jyin. Logan was here for a short amount of time, but from what I’ve been able to find out, he was transported to another island. I used every piece of leverage I had to have the guard escorting me to my room make sure he was looked after. I have no idea if Lisa, Hank and the girls made it back here
, and that was too far out of reach for the guard to find out. Instead, I made him promise Logan would be protected.

I haven’t decided what I should do with him. Once I leave here, there will be no coming back to Oden. If I leave him here, then Mattie and I will have to leave him behind.
I know Mattie will hate that idea, but I’m not exactly sure what I will find when I go looking for her. It might not be safe; in which case, leaving him here would be the safest thing for him. He’s already lived long enough in warzones. There is peace here, and he will be looked after.

Perhaps once I get Mattie somewhere safe, I can work on getting back to him
. She would be happy to see him, and I have a feeling that, after what she has witnessed with Logan being shot, she will need to see him alive to believe he is okay.

I search outside, watching the distant sun moving along the horizon. My days are beginning to blend into one, but
I am almost positive I haven’t been given any food today. I usually receive a tray at first light, but today, there has been nothing. Why the change? Is this an addition to my punishment? Am I going to be starved now?

I look out of my window again, deciding if maybe jumping out of it would be worth it. The fall will possibly break my legs, but if I
don’t break any bones, and if I can move past the guards without them seeing me, then it’s possible I could get to the water below.

Within the ja
gged edge of the cliff there is access to a hidden tunnel. Oden is covered in tunnels that are only known to the leader and their family. Since my family has led Oden for several generations, it’s likely we are the only family that knows of them now.

Entrances to the tunnels are hidden all over Oden, i
mpossible to find if you don’t know what you’re searching for. There is an entrance at the water by the cliffs, one that I found during my trials many years ago. I was only a kid; however I am confident I could find them again.

From the tunnels
, I can gain access to any of the islands. I could either try and find Logan, or instead, focus on getting onto a supply spaceship and manoeuvre between the planets.

Oden was moderately prepared for the intake of h
umans, but we moved up the attack by six months. It wasn’t enough time for everything to be ready. From what I’ve heard, most of the other planets weren’t prepared at all.

I hate not knowing where Mattie is and fear
ing the conditions she’s being forced to live in. My imagination has tortured me over the past few days of what she might be facing. What if I took her off Earth, just so she could be killed on a foreign planet?

I fear she hates me for sending her away from Earth,
yet I thought at the time it was her best chance. If I hadn’t, I know Ival would have either killed her or taken her with us to my father. He would have killed her regardless of anything I said in protest. The only reason she has remained untouched by him is because she isn’t within his reach. I have no doubt he recalls very clearly that I was cavorting with a human and is furious at me, wanting to make her go away. However, because he doesn’t know the extent of our relationship and because of all the humans he now has on his hands as well as taking over Earth being distracting, he has let it go,
for now.

What if
I have made things worse for her? What if I made a huge mistake? Maybe I should have fought Ival harder? Could I have taken him on? I told myself I couldn’t, but for Mattie, I think I have the ability and strength to do a lot I wouldn’t normally. Knowing her life is in danger, I would never give up. Except, if I had fought Ival, and at the slim chance that we might have defeated him, where would that leave Logan? He was dying on Earth. The only reason he is alive now is because Ival sent him onto my father’s spaceship where the medics there worked to heal him.

I growl, frustrated to be stuck in here while Mattie has to fend for herself. Even if I can get away from here, I still will need to search every planet for her. That will take time, and
I am desperate to find her
now
. I am impatient to see her, touch her, and I am angry at myself for my lack of progress.

I stare again at the ground, adrenaline beginning to pump through me as I seriously consider jumping. I might not break my legs. I might be fine. Even if I’m not, all
I will need to do is get myself to a medic, and they can fix my legs.

I glance at the packed bag
full of spare clothing, sitting on my bed. I’ve had it ready since I was placed in here. Picking the bag up and placing it around my shoulders, I notice the rough feel of it against my shirt since I no longer wear my argu. It should scare me that my solid protection is missing from me; however it is the only thing that provides me with hope. It is protecting Mattie and any potential child growing inside her.

My feet almost give out being reminded of that news.

A baby. Our baby. Is it possible? Could Mattie be pregnant?

Hope builds inside me that she is. I know Mattie is special to me. I know I love her. She told me I couldn’t love her until I saw her faults, accepted them
, and loved her anyway. I couldn’t truly love her while I blindly only saw what I wanted. But I think she’s wrong.

Mattie doesn’t have faults, not really. She is stubborn, self-sacrificing, has a serious lack of concern for her own safety and my sanity, short tempered
, and often she confuses me. Regardless, these aren’t faults, not to me. They are part of why I am sure I’m in love with her.

I love that she confuses me
. I love that she is willing to argue for what she believes in, and that she cares for her people. Every touch, every kiss, and every word she ever spoke to me feels important. Humans speak of love and soul mates. We might not have such a thing on Oden, but I fully believe that Mattie is my other half. Therefore, her having our child feels right to me.

I want to have us joined forever
. I want others to know she belongs to me and I belong to her. Yet, the consequences for her being pregnant are enough to scare me. If my father ever found out, we would all be dead. The same if Ival were to discover this. Then, what about her people? They would kill her and the baby for sure if they knew she was impregnated by me. And if she is pregnant, what conditions are her and the baby being forced to live in? What if I can’t reach them in time?

I take another look at the view below me, my hands working to open the window. It will be a tight squeeze, one that will give me a hard angle to fall from and attempt to land on my feet, but I can’t stay here any longer. If the guards are no longer bringing me food, they might not rea
lise I am gone for several days. In previous tests, when I was deprived of food, I went for over a week with only water. I should have a long enough head start that my father won’t be able to reach me.

The cold air hits me as I take a deep breath. This is it. Now is my time to jump.
I move one leg outside, trying to figure out how to balance and move my other leg through just as I hear the familiar noise of my room door opening.

I drop out of the window and back into my room, cur
sing my bad luck that a guard has chosen now to come in. When I turn around, however, I see my mother standing stiffly in my doorway instead.

“You must come with me now
,” she demands, her eyes quickly drifting to the open window then to my bag and back to me. She turns and leaves, the door remaining open behind her.

I take a moment to ponder what I should do. Obviou
sly, the likelihood of broken bones is less likely by walking through my door instead of jumping out my window, so I quickly follow her out.

Two visits from my mother in such a short amount of time
are not usual. Her visit when I was first captured and left in my room was to tell me of the possibility that Mattie might be carrying my child. I understand her need to have that talk, but she has said I am on my own with finding her. It is one of the few serious conversations I have ever had with my mother; therefore her breaking me out of confinement is completely unexpected. It puts me on edge and a small, paranoid part of me fears this is a test of some sort. Am I failing it? What happens if I do fail?

“What has happened?” I ask her retreating back, nee
ding to jog to catch up to her.

There are no guards anywhere in sight, something else that is strange
—our home has always been littered with guards. With little action happening on Oden, there are many guards to spare, so they are given the duty of keeping our family safe. There is rarely ever a corridor that doesn’t have someone patrolling along it. Where have they all gone? Did my mother get rid of them somehow?

“There are problems that have arisen with two of the planets under our control. We’ve lost contact
,” she says quietly. I’m not sure I have ever heard my mother raise her voice before.

“The humans are fighting back?” I wonder if one of those planets is Mattie’s. I shiver at the danger
it would mean she is in.

“We’ve had resistance from the
humans; however we weren’t aware of it escalating to the levels of losing complete control.”

“Meaning?”

“We’ve also been having communication issues with the guards positioned on the outskirts of Oden. They have gone quiet and haven’t checked in.”

“So this isn’t about a human rebellion?” I
wonder what she is trying to tell me.

“I’m unsure, but I fear things are about to get compl
icated. It might just be a misunderstanding, and perhaps our communications are just being blocked to the other planets. However…” She trails off and abruptly halts in the middle of the hallway.

“Why am I here?” I realise she
has never mentioned that Father requested my presence.

“If things do escalate here, this is your only chance to get out. You need to leave.”

“You don’t want me here to help?” I only ask this because I have been trained all my life for war. I trained on the assumption that I would need to be ready to protect our family.

My reason for being born
has been to serve my family and bring honour to our family name. My mother married my father because she was born into a family who are in the position to run for leader if our family ever steps down. We have all been raised under the same regime. There is no reason for her to put me first, and especially not for Mattie.

“Ival has spoken with your father
, and the idea that your human could disgrace our family has been mentioned. Once this mess with the communications has been sorted with and before he leaves to inspect Earth, he’ll issue a warrant to have her killed. Your human will be dead soon. If she is indeed pregnant, then that will be discovered, and you will be disgraced and killed as well. He is angry at you, angrier than I’ve ever seen him.” As her eyes drift away from me, I now wonder if she has taken the brunt of that anger.