Ross 03 Leave Me Breathless (19 page)

But this had always been her oasis, the place where she could leave everything behind. She looked forward to the days when she gave Jared’s six-year-old daughters, Ashley and Mia, their riding lessons. They were eager students, which made them a pleasure to work with. The girls reminded her a lot of herself at a similar age, fascinated with the beautiful equine majesty, determined to harness all that power any way she could. That fascination had fueled her for years, and she wanted to pass on what was left of it to anyone willing to accept it.

She turned a corner, and the unfamiliar sight of Jared’s massive, gleaming red Chevrolet dually pickup came into view, parked near the arena. Macy frowned. Usually his mother brought the girls for their lessons, which was fine with her. It dispensed with any awkwardness, and Mrs. Stanton would stay around and chat with Macy’s mom until they were done. Their frequent visits with each other had been how Macy ended up roped into this deal in the first place, but she didn’t mind that.

What she did mind was unexpected encounters with her first lover, and memories of her most serious, longest-enduring relationship, when she had a date with Seth tonight.

“Great,” she muttered, pulling around to the old-fashioned red barn and parking beside the truck. Ashley and Mia had taken up residence on a bench by the duck pond, their favorite spot aside from the arena. They hadn’t even noticed Macy drive up. Their dad stood with one boot hooked in the fence, talking on his cell phone. He turned and waved when he saw her.

This so wasn’t what she needed. Jared Stanton was as single as they came now, and she remembered how he’d told her he wanted to dance with her at the bar the other night. It didn’t seem like a coincidence that he’d shown up this evening.

He’d always been just the sort of man she could really see herself settling down with. Stable, dependable, devoted to his kids. Someone with all her interests…heck, if she sat down and drafted a compatibility checklist, she could check off every box. On paper, he was perfection. And hot to boot.

They’d broken up not long after Macy had her accident. He’d wanted to be by her side but she’d chased him away in her anger and bitterness. He embodied too many memories of a life she’d turned away from. Shortly afterward, he married another girl in a rush. Macy had cried for days. When his twins were born only five months later, it all came a little clearer. He’d been trying to do the right thing, but in the end it was a dismal failure. His divorce had only recently been finalized.

“Hey,” he said as she got out of her car, and quickly ended his call. Thanks to the very erratic Texas winter, it was considerably warmer today; she barely needed her light jacket, and he was wearing a blue flannel shirt that brought out his incredible eyes. “About time you showed up.” A maddening dimple dug into his cheek. No way she couldn’t return that grin.

“What? I am so not late. You, however, are half an hour early.”

“Miss Macy!” the girls shouted in unison. Their ponytails, one brown, one blonde, flew behind them as they scurried over from the pond. They crashed into her, knocking her back a few steps as they threw their arms around her waist.

“Whoa there!” she laughed, hugging them back. “Glad to see someone appreciates me.” She cast an exaggerated glare at Jared over the tops of their heads.

“You’re appreciated, all right. Always have been.”

Macy let his flirting go right over her head. “What brings you out?”

“Thought I’d see how you’re doing, catch up…take you out to dinner with us, if you’re interested.”

“Oh…that’s really sweet of you, Jared, but I have plans after we’re done here.”

The grin turned a little sad, but he comically slapped a hand across his chest and took a step back. “Still shooting me down after all these years.”

“Stop that, now. Maybe I’ll take a rain check, okay?”

He nodded without further comment and set out to help her saddle up Rose and Trinity for the girls. The familiar rituals were so much like old times, it unnerved her. If things had been different, and she hadn’t been such a bitter über-bitch, maybe they’d be doing this for their own kids by now.

She slapped that thought aside before it could drag her down. She’d made her choices. Maybe they hadn’t necessarily been good ones, but she would own them now. Too much had changed to go back.

“You look incredible,” he said later, after they’d finished up and the girls scampered off for the duck pond again. It always took forever to wrangle those two up. The sun was just dropping behind the distant pines, and a chill breeze nipped Macy’s cheeks before they warmed with his compliment.

“Thanks. You look pretty great too.”

He propped the heel of his boot on the bottom rung of the fence and leaned his elbows back on the top. “You never did dance with me the other night.”

She laughed, certain her blush deepened as she thought about what she’d been doing that prohibited any further contact with him. “You actually remember? You were three sheets to the wind.”

“Naw! I had it handled.”

“Suuure you did.”
Just like I did.

“I guess it’s my fault. I should’ve grabbed you up right then.”

She had absolutely no idea what to say to that. “I was…um, blocked in.”

“Yeah, if that guy beside you could’ve killed me with looks alone, I might not be standing here right now. Is he…surely you’re not
with
him, are you?”

“He’s…ah…he’s a friend. Of a friend. Friend of a friend’s boyfriend, actually.”
Who I happen to be sleeping with
. “We hang out.”

“Is that who you’re seeing tonight?”

“Yes.”

“Macy. Seriously?”

He was starting to piss her off. “What, Jared?”

“He’s just…not someone I’d imagine you would deal with very well.”

“I think I know who I can deal with and who I can’t.”

“I know Candace is dating Brian Ross.” He scoffed. “There’s an apple that fell
way
far from the tree…and then got punted across the yard. I never thought you would get mixed up with any friends of his, though.”

“I can’t believe you’re being so freaking…”

Judgmental. The same damn thing she’d been all this time. Not so long ago, she’d have agreed with him. She’d have chimed right in.
Brian’s a thug. Look what he’s doing to my best friend, filling her full of ink and turning her into a pin cushion. He’s not good enough for her. He’s going to hurt her.

All thoughts she’d entertained, washed away with one simple statement from Seth the other night.

Brian is the brother I should’ve had.

And Candace loved Brian more than life. Candace wouldn’t love someone who wasn’t good enough for her.

“Look, Brian is great. I might not have realized it at first, but you know what? I couldn’t have picked a better guy for her if she’d asked me to.”

He held up both hands as if to fend her off, and she realized she was getting in his face. “I don’t mean to piss you off. I just…” He straightened and took her shoulders gently in both hands. Always such a gentle touch, sometimes frustratingly so. She hadn’t felt it in years. The sudden stark reminder made heat gather behind her eyes. “Macy, I always regret I didn’t fight harder for you. I regret that I left when you told me to leave. I always hoped you didn’t really mean it, or at least that you would someday realize you didn’t mean it. But then I messed it up. Everything happened with Shelly, and…” He stared off at some point over her head, and she knew he must be watching his daughters play. “I don’t regret that either, because it gave me Mia and Ash. But I saw you the other night at the bar with…that guy, and you looked more beautiful than I’d ever seen you, and if I could make everything right—”

Dismayed, she lifted her hand and covered his mouth with her fingers. “Jared? Stop. Okay? Don’t.”

“You wouldn’t even think about it? Whatever you’ve got going with him is that important to you?”

“It’s not even that, really. It’s…”

What? What was it? If this offer had come a year ago, hell, two weeks ago before Seth came back, how would she have reacted? If she wanted to settle down and have a family, the perfect specimen was right in front of her. He came with a family already built in. She loved Mia and Ashley, and they loved her.

She and Jared had history. She knew his quirks, what would make him laugh, what would piss him off. That he loved everything she loved and disliked everything she disliked. That the back of his neck was an erogenous zone.

Comfort. Safety.

Seth…she didn’t really know a damn thing about him except that he was loyal to his friends and family, she’d never seen a picture of him where he wasn’t flipping off the camera or sticking his tongue through the V of his fingers and he had an ex so in love with him the girl had damn near lost her mind. That he really had never given Macy anything other than a string of violent orgasms and a “catch ya later”. He made her feel the absolute opposite of Jared. Instability. Danger. Given the text he’d sent her earlier—
Wear a skirt 2night
—he only promised more of each.

God help her, she liked it. She couldn’t imagine turning away now. It was unthinkable.

“Jared…ever since I got hurt, I’ve followed my head. I’ve been cautious to the point of almost losing my friends. I can’t do it anymore. I’ve got to follow my heart this one time. My heart’s telling me I need to go my own way, throw caution to the wind. Maybe it’ll blow right back in my face, I don’t know.” She dropped her gaze and shook her head. “I don’t know.”

Jared sighed. His hands slid around her back and he pulled her into his arms, resting his chin on top of her head. She practically collapsed into him. He smelled wonderful, the clean, crisp scent of the outdoors—his favorite place to be.

Admitting all of that—to him of all people—had taken a lot out of her. Was she insane? Was she really following her heart, or just her freaking vagina?

“If you ever change your mind,” he murmured, leaning his cheek into her hair, “you know where I’ll be.”

It was like déjà vu. Only the restaurant was dim and quieter than the bar. When Seth slid into the booth next to Macy, she shivered as his jeaned thigh brushed her bare one.

She’d acquiesced and worn a tight-fitting black skirt with knee-high boots and a green sweater, and there was no doubt in her mind why he’d made the request. Every time she remembered the other night in the bar, her heart did a swan dive to the pit of her stomach.

He looked…dangerous tonight. All in black, which wasn’t unusual. It wasn’t even really that he hadn’t shaved in a couple days, and a shadow framed the darker brown of his goatee. It was his demeanor. She didn’t know if he’d ever exuded raw sex like he did tonight. Like he’d thought about it all day and was to a breaking point in which he’d just as well put her on the table, spread her legs and make her his appetizer right here in the restaurant. The tension around his mouth, the look in his eyes, said it all.

“Never took you for a same-side sitter,” she said, sipping the water the waitress had just sat in front of her.

“Ordinarily I’m not,” he said after she was gone. “But how else am I going to get you off, if the mood strikes?”

Macy worked on swallowing that drink and placed her glass back down, struggling to maintain her composure. He leaned his shoulder into her, letting the tip of his nose trace the outer curve of her ear. “Ever since Valentine’s, I can’t get it out of my head. How much I wanted to make you come right there in front of everyone, wondering if you could hide it when you did.”

“What if I couldn’t? How embarrassing.”

“Mmm. Maybe the stealth orgasm is something we’ll work on. I picked a good place to start, right?”

He had. The backs of the booths here were higher than their heads. They were completely hidden from the people behind them. He’d specifically requested the corner. If the table off to their right remained empty, they would be all but isolated from everyone except the waitstaff.

Macy gulped more water, trying to dampen her dry throat. Already, her sex ached and pulsed for his touch, dampening her panties, and she couldn’t look away from his hand as it rested on the table. Big, perfect, with long fingers just callused enough to make her skin sing with pleasure.

Oh Lord, please help me survive.

She had a feeling praying about whatever Seth Warren had in mind tonight would be sacrilegious.

As time passed and she kept wondering when he was going to get on with it already, she also noticed he could be a real charmer when he wanted to be. Their waitress already seemed to be in love. They might have a hard time getting rid of her long enough to…

That was probably just the way he wanted it. Upped the danger factor, didn’t it?

Her fettuccine Alfredo came, and she attacked it. She’d assuage the lust thumping through her veins with food. He laughed at her, commenting how he loved a woman who could eat. She fed him some from her fork, and he fed her a shrimp from his fingers, letting the tips linger on her lips until she flickered her tongue against them. His eyes closed.

“Damn, woman,” he breathed.

“I want you.” His eyes opened again at her declaration. His hand dropped beneath the fall of the tablecloth, and his fingers slid deftly under her skirt, bunching it up her thigh. In no time, he was tracing the edge of her panties.