Rosie Goes to War (19 page)

I don't know how long I've been hiding in here. After crying so much I think I'm going to throw up, I start to calm down a bit. Eventually, someone bangs on the door.

‘Come on, hurry up. There's a queue out here. Some of us are bursting!'

‘All right, I won't be a minute,' I say, wiping my wet face on my sleeve. I take a deep breath, hoping no one will say anything about my puffy face and bloodshot eyes, and unlock the door. I keep my head down and wash my hands quickly, not looking at anyone. In the corridor I see Esther going out the main door. I wonder if I should go after her, but I don't know what to say. In the end I just stand here, doing nothing, hating myself.

‘There you are, Queenie,' May frowns when she sees my face. ‘You all right, love?' She looks so worried I nearly start crying again.

‘Yes, I'm fine. I … I just got some dust in my eyes.'

‘Blimey. Made a right mess of your face.' May puts her coat on and picks up her bag. ‘Ne'er mind. It's Friday.' She grins. ‘No work 'till Monday. We'll go out and paint the town red tonight.'

‘I don't think I'll go, if you don't mind,' I say, grabbing my things. ‘I'm … I'm not feeling great.'

‘Oh, don't be daft. You'll be fine by the time we've got our glad rags on. I'll do your hair for you, if you like. I reckon you'd look dead sophisticated with one of them French pleats.'

I remember Gran doing my hair like that, and feel a wave of homesickness. I take a deep breath, determined not to cry again. Can I really go out dancing again after everything that's happened this week?

‘I don't know. I feel like just going home to bed.' Home home, not this one. I just want to crawl under the duvet at Gran's and forget it all. I feel so bloody useless.

‘Aw, come on Queenie, love. I know you've had a rough week, but it ain't all been bad has it? I mean, you saved that woman, and you've got your first paypacket. That's got to be worth celebrating, ain't it?'

‘I suppose,' I say, feeling bad about letting May down. ‘But do we have to do it tonight? I really am tired.'

Nelly joins us and we head for the bus stop.

‘You coming down the Palais tonight, Nelly?' asks May.

She shrugs. ‘I might leave it till tomorrow.'

‘Oh bloody hell, you two are like a pair of old women. Queenie's taking to her bed. It's Friday night, for Christ's sake! Well, I'm going. I need to get some practice in if I'm going to win that competition.'

‘So Harry will be there, will he?'

‘He might be. But there's plenty of other fellas I can dance with if he ain't. Oh come on, Nell, it'll be a laugh.'

Nelly doesn't look convinced. She looks at me and shrugs. I know she doesn't want to let May go on her own, not if there's a chance that Harry will be hanging around.

‘Don't worry about me,' I say. ‘I'm going to have an early night.'

‘What if there's a raid?'

I roll my eyes. ‘There's always a raid, isn't there? The sirens will wake me up and I'll go down to the shelter.'

‘On your own?'

I shrug.

‘You could always pop over to Lil. She's got a shelter n'all.'

‘OK, if there's a raid, I'll go to Lil's.'

‘All right,' she says to May. ‘I'll go with you.'

May lets out a whoop and dances down the street.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

I don't know how I feel about being here in the house on my own. I thought it would be all right, but now I'm not so sure. It's creepy.

I remember what it was like at Gran's, when this older house would show itself to me. Now it's the other way round. I swear I can hear Gran and Great-aunt Eleanor talking in the front room. But when I go in there it's still the cold, drab room in 1940, and echoes of Gran's laughter swirl around the walls.

I stand in front of the hall mirror for ages, trying to use my head and figure out how the hell I'm going to get back. But all I can see is my pale face staring back at me – no Gran and her sister, young or old, in sight.

I decide to give up for now and go to bed. I'm so tired I can't think straight. But once I'm there I lie shivering in the dark, going over everything that's happened to me over the past week. It doesn't feel like a few days, it feels like I've been here for ages. I'm cold, battered and hungry. I never knew how hard it would be to live on rations and face bombing raids every single night. God, I miss Mum and Dad! I took everything for granted, didn't I? I'd give anything for a taste of Mum's fish pie right now; I've never told her it's my favourite. I'll even laugh at Dad's silly jokes if I can just get home. I'll never roll my eyes and get embarrassed by him again.

And I was so disrespectful to Gran, acting like she was stupid and sulking like a little kid because I had to go and stay with her. That's not right. It wasn't her fault that Simon preferred Jess, or that Jess would rather snog him than be my best friend.

Look at what the May and Nelly are living through! May has been really cool, and so kind to me. Even though Nelly has been a pain, they've both looked out for me. Look at how Nelly yelled at Billy about keeping me out all night. I smile. She needn't have worried. I'm not going to anything naughty with my own grandpa, am I?

‘
Use your head
.' Seriously, what does that mean? I've tried and tried to figure it out, but I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. I don't know why I'm here, or what I have to do to get home. I think about what Lil said about me being in other times, and this man she mentioned, who is he? What if I don't find my way back, but have to spend the rest of my life travelling through time? I know she said I got home, but what does she know, really? Maybe she's just totally mad and I shouldn't take any notice of what she says.

Now wide awake, I get up and turn the light on and rummage through the suitcase, which I still haven't unpacked. I mean, I'm not staying, am I? I find the notebook and crawl back into bed to try and keep warm while I write down everything that's happened to me since I arrived at Gran's. I write in text speak because I don't want May, or even worse Nelly, finding this and reading it.

Everything's coming out in a rush when those bloody sirens go off again. I'm tempted to stay here, but then realise that's a stupid thing to do. I drag on some trousers and a jumper and head down to the shelter. I have to stop on the way to collect a coat and shoes, then to make sure the gas is turned off like Nelly told me to. I'm out the back door and in the shelter before I remember I promised to go over the Lil's. But the planes are overhead now and the guns are going off. There's no way I'm going outside now, so I light the lamp and make myself comfortable and carry on writing.

I must have fallen asleep, because I'm waking up as the girls come bursting into the shelter. My cheek is plastered to the notebook. It's lucky I've been writing in pencil otherwise I'd have ink all over my face.

‘What you doing here? Why didn't you go over to Lil?'

‘I forgot,' I say, yawning and tucking the notebook into my coat pocket. ‘What time is it?'

‘About half eleven. Didn't you hear the all-clear?'

‘No, I must have slept through it.'

‘We got home and you weren't in,' says May. ‘So I popped over to Lil's, but she said she ain't seen you. The old girl's in a bit of a state, I can tell you. She's having one of her turns. It's just a well you never went over there.'

‘Is she all right?'

‘Oh yeah,' Nelly waves my concern away. ‘She's well known round here for her turns. She's goes off on one for a bit then she'll be right as rain tomorrow.'

‘What do you mean she “goes off on one”?'

‘Oh, Queenie, you should hear her, it's so funny,' says May. Nelly glares at her. ‘Well, it does make you laugh, Nell, you know it does.' She turns to me. ‘Anyway, she reckons she's got special powers, sort of like the 'fluence.' She wiggles her fingers and rolls her eyes. ‘Old Lil sees ghosts and the like. Just now she was ranting on about time, and how something's happening again and she never thought she'd live to see the day and we'd better mind ourselves 'cause strange things are going on round here. She reckons she's packing up and going off to Ethel's tomorrow. Said she'd done her bit and was getting out before she gets blown to kingdom come.'

‘It's a bloody wonder Jock's such a sensible fella, with a nan like that,' says Nelly. ‘Anyway, Lil will be all right down Ethel's, but I won't if we stay out here much longer. It's blinking cold. Come on, let's get to bed while it's quiet.'

‘Maybe it's just the war getting to Lil,' I say as we walk up the garden path. ‘You know, when she says it's happening again – she's probably remembering the last war.'

‘Yeah, I expect so.'

‘And let's face it,' I go on, for some reason not wanting them to think that Lil is crazy, even though I'd been thinking it myself. ‘There's definitely a lot of strange things happening round here with bombing raids everything night. You could hardly call it all normal, could you?'

‘Yeah, all right, Queenie, we know what it's like. That's why we ain't too worried about the old girl. We all go off on one now and again, eh Nell?'

‘Not me,' she says. ‘You won't catch me acting like a bleeding mad woman. I ain't got no time for nonsense like that. There's a war on, ain't there?'

‘That's the whole point,' I say. ‘This war is enough to do anyone's head in.'

‘Well, I ain't going to argue with you,' says Nelly. ‘I'm off to me bed, and I suggest you to do the same.'

CHAPTER NINETEEN

The next morning I wake and can't understand why Nelly and May don't seem to be moving around making a noise like they usually do. Its freezing but I throw off the bedclothes, determined not to be late again. As my feet touch the cold lino I realise its Saturday and we don't have to go to work. I nearly cry with relief and snuggle back down under the covers to enjoy a lie-in.

I didn't surface again until I heard the girls moving about at around eight o'clock. I'm glad I did, because once breakfast was over there wasn't much chance to relax. Nelly announced there were jobs to be done, and started ordering us around like an army sergeant. Between us we cleaned the house from top to bottom – and with no vacuum cleaner or modern cleaning products it was hard work, I can tell you. Floors had to be swept and rugs hung over the washing line in the back garden and bashed with a carpet beater shaped like a tennis racket to get all the dust out. The furniture had to be polished with wax out of a tin – no Pledge spray here. We changed the bed sheets, none of which are fitted, so now I know why my bedding keeps going all lumpy when I toss and turn in my sleep.

After a quick sandwich for lunch, May announces she's going up town to meet Harry.

‘What about the washing?' asks Nelly.

‘I've only got a few bits, I'll do them later. Anyway, with Queenie here, there's no point me hanging around is there? The three of us will get under each other's feet. Harry's promised to take me to the Lyon's Tea House. I ain't missing that treat just to wash me smalls.'

Nelly sighs. ‘All right. But don't be late back.'

‘Yes, Mum,' says May, laughing and running upstairs.

‘If I was your mum you'd be better behaved,' Nelly shouts after her. ‘She wouldn't have put up with the likes of Harry.'

So, we get on with the washing. It all has to be done by hand in the kitchen sink. We don't have a big washing copper like Lil has over the road.

I've got to say, I was shocked by how hard it is to get everything clean without a washing machine. First, it all has to be washed in hot soapy water, using an old-fashioned washboard to scrub the dirt out. I've seen this thing before – Gran still has it, and ages ago she explained how it works. She still uses it sometimes, even though she's got a state-of-the-art automatic washing machine. I thought it looked like a doddle, but it's really hard work. Seriously, I had no idea how hot and sweaty you get using a washboard. It doesn't help that, apparently, I've used too much soap.

‘Oi, what you doing, using all that?' Nell yells at me. ‘You don't need that much, and we can't afford to waste soap.'

‘Sorry,' I say, wiping my forehead with my arm. ‘I didn't know how much to use.'

Nell tuts. ‘I suppose your mum does the washing at home? She's doing you no favours, waiting on you hand and foot. You'll be no use to man nor beast in the end.'

I want to point out I do know how to use the washing machine at home, and sometimes put a load on for Mum, but to be fair I don't do it very often. ‘I suppose you're right,' I sigh.

‘Well, get on with it now, and mind you rinse that lot properly. When you're ready to do the next lot, I'll show you how much soap to use.'

‘OK, thanks.'

Eventually, I have a pile of soggy, but well-scrubbed clothes. Nell helps me put them through the mangle, feeding the material through rollers to squeeze out the water. Next we lower the wooden racks which were hanging by ropes from the ceiling, and hang the clothes up because it's far too cold to put them out on the line in the back yard. The racks are pulled back up and secured, and Nell lights the fire so that the heat in the kitchen will dry the wet washing. Watching the fire in the grate, I suddenly realise why Gran's kitchen seems bigger than this one – she's had the chimney breast taken out.

The kitchen is damp and steamy, and there's water all over the floor by now. I mop up the puddles, while Nelly gets on with her own washing. She's much quicker at it than me, and makes a lot less mess.

‘Shall I make us a cup of tea?' I ask, arching my back, hands on hips. I really want to just lie down somewhere, I'm so tired. No wonder Gran always said women have it easy in the future.