Roping Your Heart (21 page)

She went to her room and curled up on her bed, her sobs wracking her body. The pain inside her was so great she knew nothing would ever heal it.

It wasn’t his fault, she understood that. But it didn’t make it hurt any less.

The one true love in her life had returned only for her to lose it all over again. She’d never love anyone else the way she loved Blake.

* * * * *

“Hi, honey,” Blake said over the phone to Demi. “How are you doing?”

“I hate it here.” She sounded close to tears as she said the same words she almost always said when he asked her how she was doing. “I want to go home.”

It had only been two months, so he couldn’t expect her to like it in her new home yet. He hadn’t told her he was planning to move to Tennessee. He wanted to sell the ranch and take care of anything else that needed to be handled beforehand so that she wouldn’t be disappointed if it took a while for him to get there.

“Just give it some time.” He tried to speak in a soothing tone. “How’s that horse your mom bought you?”

Demi had a shrug in her voice as she said, “Caprice is all right. She’s not Dandy, though. She’s supposed to be a good barrel racer, but she’s just not as good and it just doesn’t feel right.”

“Are you able to get any practice in?” he asked.

“Mom and Irwin are busy a lot of the time and aren’t around to take me to the stables.” Demi sounded more than disappointed. “Mom isn’t home a whole lot.”

Blake’s jaw tensed. Sally had insisted on custody of Demi yet was hardly spending any time with their daughter. Every time he talked with Demi it was the same thing—she was usually home alone.

“Your mother must be busy.” He tried to keep his tone even. He wasn’t about to pitch his daughter against her mother.

“Yeah, busy with her husband.” Demi paused. “I heard them talking about a trip to Europe this December. I don’t know if they’re planning on taking me or leaving me with Mrs. Buford.”

Mrs. Buford was apparently in her sixties and was the housekeeper and cook. She watched over Demi when Sally and her husband weren’t around. Which seemed to be a hell of a lot of the time.

Heat burned under Blake’s collar. Demi shouldn’t be left with a caregiver who wasn’t one of her parents. He’d find a place fairly close to Sally’s home so that Demi could spend time with him when her mother wasn’t around.

He’d decided that since he was going to make a new start of it, he’d like to run his own stables and raise horses. He planned to take Dandy and Tango with him and that should make Demi happy.

“Do you like Mrs. Buford?” Blake asked.

“She’s okay,” Demi said. “She does make good cookies. My favorites are the snicker doodles.”

“You’re pretty good at baking cookies yourself. You’ll have to get the recipe and make some for me next time you come home,” he said.

“Home and cookies sound good to me,” Demi said wistfully.

“Have you been making some friends?” he asked.

“A couple of girls from school have been nice and I met some kids at my first 4-H meeting here.” He pictured her hugging her stuffed horse as she spoke. “How’s Cat?” Demi asked.

“She’s good.” Just hearing her name made Blake heartsick. It had only been that morning that he’d broken the news to Cat that he planned to move to Nashville and she’d sent him away. She needed time to process it. He needed her by his side. “She misses you,” he added.

“I miss her, too,” Demi said. “Tell her I said so.”

“I will, honey.”

They talked a bit longer and she asked him about the horses and the ranch, her uncles, and Grandma and Grandpa McBride.

The homesickness in her voice made his chest hurt.

“You call me any time you need to talk,” he said. “I don’t care when or where, you call me.”

“I will, Dad.” A hint of a smile was finally in her voice. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, honey.”

When they said goodbye, Blake disconnected the call and stared out his front window for a long time.

Chapter 24

The wind stirred restlessly as Blake rested one boot on the lower rail of the wood fence of the training ring and pictured Demi practicing for the next rodeo on Dandy. She’d missed most of the rodeos she’d worked so hard to compete in. She’d only been in a few between the time she had her cast taken off and her move. He hated that something she loved so much had been taken from her. She might get established in Tennessee, and he hoped so, but it wasn’t going to be easy for her.

Damn, he missed his little girl. This place just wasn’t the same. Nine weeks had passed since she’d moved and it was closing in on Thanksgiving.

It wouldn’t be long now before he moved. He’d had a feeling someone in the family would buy the ranch, and his brother, Gage, had stepped up to the plate. He was also going to buy the livestock, excluding the horses. Blake was taking all of them with him.

One of the good things about selling the property to his brother was that Gage was in no rush to take over the place. That gave Blake time to take care of all that needed to be done, including what was necessary to make the move, like buying a new home and property to set up his new stables.

He still hadn’t told Demi. He planned to fly out to Tennessee during Thanksgiving week to look for a new home and he’d tell his daughter in person. He’d already talked with Sally about splitting time with Demi over that weekend. She’d sounded strange on the phone, like she’d had something heavy on her mind, but she had agreed.

His thoughts turned to Cat and his chest hurt like it always did. He understood why she couldn’t go with him, but that didn’t make it any easier. More than a week had gone by since he’d told her he was moving. She’d stayed away from him and he couldn’t blame her although he missed her fiercely.

The sound of a vehicle coming down the road caused him to turn. His heart thumped when he saw that it was Cat’s truck. The windows were tinted and he didn’t get a good look at her until she parked and a few moments later climbed out of the truck.

Emotions warred in him as he strode toward her. He saw her beautiful face and the set of her jaw, the determination in her gaze.

When their eyes met, she ran toward him. He stopped, waiting for her, wondering if something had happened.

She reached him and flung her arms around his neck and pressed her body close to his.

“Blake.” She tilted her face to look at him. “I can’t do this. I can’t just say goodbye. It hurts too much.”

He studied her, loving the feel of her in his arms, never wanting to let her go. “What are you saying, honey?”

“I’ll wait for you.” Her throat worked as she swallowed. “We can do this long distance until Demi graduates from high school. It’s four years down the road, but I’ll wait for you. Having some of you is better than none of you.” Tears glistened in her eyes. “That is, if you’re willing, too.”

“Hell, yes.” He pressed her close to him, breathing in her scent, reveling in the feel of her body against his. “I’ll come back to see you at least every three to four weeks and we can talk on the phone every day if you want.” He took her by the shoulders and held her away from him, studying her. “If you’re sure that’s what you want to do.”

She nodded. “We were apart for so long. Another four years isn’t going to be easy, but I love you too much to let you go.”

He caught sight of her wrist. “You still have it.”

She looked down at the gold bracelet connected at the top with a heart. The one he’d given her for her eighteenth birthday.

“Of course.” She smiled.

“My little KitCat.” He drew her in once again and she clung to him.

* * * * *

The time they spent together that afternoon had been fierce, passionate, neither one of them wanting to let go of the other. It was like they were making up for lost time and for days yet to come when they would be alone.

When Cat had to return to town to check in on her grandmother, Blake was reluctant to let her go, but knew she needed to.

They walked outside, hand-in-hand. They reached her truck and he brought her into his arms and kissed her.

He put his forehead against hers. “You know how much I love you, don’t you?”

“At least as much as I love you,” she said with a smile.

His phone rang. He was going to ignore it, but she pulled away. “It might be Demi.”

He drew the phone out of the leather holster at his belt and looked at the caller ID screen.

“It’s Sally,” he said.

“Take it.” Cat looked up at him.

He pressed the connect button and raised the phone to his ear. “Hi, Sally.”

“Blake, I need to talk to you.” Sally was hesitant, which was unusual for her. It was much like the odd way she’d sounded the last time they’d spoken.

“All right,” he said, feeling wary as he turned away from Cat and stared out into the clear blue sky. “What do you need to talk about?”

“So much has happened and I’ve been doing a lot of thinking over the past three months.” She paused, took an audible breath, then said, “I haven’t touched drugs but I started drinking again.”

Cold washed over him. “You what?” he said even though he knew he’d heard her right.

“Drinking. About two months ago.” She sounded nervous. “But I started going to AA meetings again and I’ve been sober again for almost three weeks.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, trying to control his anger. “Demi can’t live in that kind of situation,” he said. “I can’t let that happen.”

“I know.” Sally truly sounded like she truly knew she was in the wrong. “I’m working with my sponsor and as I’m working through the twelve steps I’ve come to realize some things. I don’t know that I can give Demi everything she needs.”

His brow furrowed. “You need money?”

“That’s certainly not a problem.” She gave a laugh, but it wasn’t one of humor because her voice turned serious again. “My sponsor helped me to see that I’ve been selfish, and frankly, a total bitch.”

Blake didn’t say anything as his mind tried to come up with a solution to the problem that Sally had been drinking again. Even if she was sober now, the fact that she’d slipped was a huge problem.

“I’ve thought a lot about what Cat said to me after we’d gone to court over Demi,” Sally continued and Blake glanced as Cat, wondering when she’d had a chance to talk to Sally and what she’d said.

“And as I work through this twelve-step program,” Sally went on, “I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not cut out to be a full-time mother. I started turning to alcohol again because it’s all been so stressful and I’ve felt inadequate. I want to be that girl’s mother so badly, but I know where she wants to be and I know I can’t replace you.”

He frowned. He could hear the emotion in her voice and thought she might be crying, but he wasn’t altogether sure what she was trying to tell him.

“Cat was right,” Sally said in a rush. “It’s in Demi’s best interest to be with you full-time.”

Stunned, Blake couldn’t think of what to say. He felt frozen as he tried to grasp what she was telling him. Somehow it wasn’t sinking in.

“She’s not happy here, either, and I’m gone a lot with my husband,” Sally added before he could say anything. “I thought maybe she’d get used to it here and make some friends and be happy. I thought I would spend more time with her while having her live with me, but it hasn’t worked out that way.”

“You’re giving custody of Demi to me,” he repeated slowly when it began to sink in. “Legal?”

“I want her for some of the holidays, but yes, full legal custody to you.” Sally sounded like she was unsure. “You still want her, don’t you?”

“God, yes.” A sense of elation swept over Blake and the corners of his eyes stung. He was going to have his little girl again.

“I was thinking she should probably finish the school year out here.” Sally had a note of relief in her voice, as if she had thought he might refuse. “There’s only about a few weeks left.”

“That’s probably a good idea.” He agreed with Sally even though he would have given anything to have Demi back on the first flight to Phoenix.

“In the meantime,” Sally said, “I’ll have my lawyer draw up the necessary legal paperwork.”

He gripped the phone tighter. “Have you told Demi?”

“No,” Sally said. “I wanted to talk with you first to make sure you wanted to take her.”

He realized he was grinning now as he met Cat’s gaze. She was looking at him with surprise combined with amazement and joy.

“When are you going to tell her?” he asked Sally.

“Tonight, after she gets back from the stables,” Sally said.

He felt almost high from the elation filling him. “Have her call me afterward,”

“I will.” Sally almost sounded like she was going to cry. “Thank you, Blake. I’ve come to realize that you’re a much better dad than I’ll ever be a mother. I have an awful lot of work to do on myself.”

He sighed, not wanting to bring her down. “She loves you, Sally. You know that.”

“I know.” A bit of a smile touched her voice. “She’s just happier with you, living the life she was raised in.” And then she sounded sad again. “I’m sorry I put you both through this. It wasn’t fair of me.”