Here it comes.
I braced myself for his humiliating words. My heart was beating out of my chest as he just continued to look at me blankly without saying anything. He slowly walked toward me, and all of the muscles in my body tightened. He was going to get in my face and do it.
Shit.
Justin stood inches away from me. He smelled so effing good, like soap and cologne. I could feel the heat of his body, and my knees started to feel weak. He stared deeply into my eyes. It wasn’t necessarily an angry glare, but it wasn’t a happy or amused look either.
After several seconds of silence, he took a deep breath in and said, “You smell like vomit.”
Just as I opened my mouth to respond, he turned around and walked away back toward the stairs before disappearing.
That was it?
I smelled like vomit?
He was going to let the whole thing go? Or was he just saving it for later when Jade came home? I would have to wait anxiously to find out.
***
Business at Sandy’s had really suffered since losing The Ruckus—their headlining band. Salvatore had managed to fill the spot each night with mediocre local talent, but people were noticing the difference. The place would empty out much earlier than normal, and we weren’t getting as many customers in general.
I knew that Jade had spoken to Justin about taking on a few nights, but last I’d heard, he wasn’t interested. So, you could imagine my surprise when he turned up at Sandy’s one early Friday evening with his guitar strap wrapped around him.
At first, I didn’t realize it was him until he looked over at me. Butterflies swarmed in my stomach the moment I noticed him standing near the door, looking like he didn’t know where to go. Since it was unseasonably cool out, he was wearing a navy hoodie and a beanie. God, he looked sexy in that hat. It always seemed to bring out his eyes. Really, he looked sexy in anything, but today, he was particularly hot because he also hadn’t shaved in days.
Given how he’d treated me, my physical attraction to him never ceased to amaze me. It was easier to focus on the physical, I suppose. Justin’s exterior, which was so different from what I remembered, helped distract from what I knew was inside. The truth was, as much as I wanted him physically, it still didn’t compare to the longing that remained for my old friend. Somewhere hidden beneath the brawn and beauty, I knew he was still in there, and that frustrated me.
As far as I knew, Justin never mentioned the jerk-off encounter to Jade, nor did he torture me about it. I didn’t know why he decided to give me a pass on that, but I was eternally grateful.
Jade had gotten called out of town for an audition this morning. I’d assumed that he was going to go back with her.
I stopped wiping the table I’d been cleaning and walked over to him. “What are you doing here?”
He lifted his guitar from around his neck. “What does it look like I’m doing?”
“I thought you went to New York with Jade.”
“She’s not going to be gone very long. And I already committed to this...
gig.”
He’d said it almost scornfully.
“I thought you were against playing here. I overheard you telling Jade that you’d rather perform at a prison than a lowly beach hut.”
“Yeah. Well, I guess she showed your boss some footage of me, and he made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.”
“How long will you be playing here?”
“I don’t know. A few weeks. Until we leave.”
“You’re not staying the whole summer?”
“No. That was never the plan.”
Disappointment set in. I should have been happy that he was leaving soon, but hearing that news had the opposite effect on me.
“Wow. Okay. Well…do you need me to show you around?”
“I’m good,” he said before walking away from me, heading toward the back of the restaurant.
Justin disappeared for at least an hour. He was scheduled to perform at eight, so he had about twenty minutes to go before show time.
My curiosity got the best of me as I went in search of him. The door to one of the back rooms was cracked open, and I could see him downing a bottle of beer and looking stressed. I wondered if he ever got nervous before a show. Even though he considered performing here a joke, he was still going to be putting himself out there.
His eyes darted to the side, and he noticed me standing there. We just stared at each other. It was ironic, but the only times I could ever feel the remnants of our old connection were in fleeting moments of silent eye contact. Sometimes moments of silence spoke the loudest.
I left him alone again, making my way back down the hall and into the restaurant to tend to the customers I’d been ignoring.
Things really started to get busy. Without Jade working tonight, we were short-staffed, and I was having a hard time keeping up with the orders. Sandy’s had indoor and outdoor seating. Normally, I would only be working one section, but tonight I was going back and forth between the two.
It was nice out, so I knew they would have Justin performing outside. I kept glancing over to the small stage to see if he was there. It was past eight, and he hadn’t made an appearance yet.
Sometime close to eight-thirty, I was in the middle of serving a large party of ten when I first heard it: the chilling sound of a soulful voice that was not familiar in the least. He gave no introduction. No warning. He just started to sing out the first few words, followed by the strum of his guitar. The song that Justin had chosen to start with was a cover of
Ain’t No Sunshine
by Bill Withers.
The entire room soon quieted down, and all eyes were on the stunning blond male specimen with the spotlight shining down on him. Despite the fact that I was carrying a large round tray of dirty dishes, I couldn’t move. The vibration of his thick, smoky singing voice had completely paralyzed me, penetrating my body and soul.
Aside from the lone teardrop that fell the night he lost it on me during steak dinner, I hadn’t shed any more tears—until now. It was all too much. Hearing how different his voice sounded, how he’d trained it over the years, was a wake-up call as to how much I had missed. All of the hours of practice that must have gone into honing that beautiful voice, and I wasn’t there for any of it. The guilt, the emotions, the reality of a decade gone…everything started to pummel me at once. Not to mention the song—about a girl leaving. It probably had nothing to do with me, but in my mind, it sure as hell felt like it did.
You had to have true talent to perform solo acoustically. All eyes were on you and nothing else. There were no distractions to take away from a cracked voice or any other screw ups. Justin sang the song flawlessly. The vibration of his voice was like a deep massage to my entire being. My heart filled with pride. Whether he liked it or not, I was so damn proud of him.
At the same time, I felt a rush of antsy excitement, much like a teenager seeing a boy band in concert. Adrenaline was pumping through me. A part of me wanted to just shout, “This is my Justin! I knew him way back when.” Another part of me wanted to rush the stage and wrap my arms around him.
The way his fingers worked the guitar effortlessly almost rivaled the sexiness of his voice. Women were starting to leave their tables, throwing money down at his feet.
Jesus.
Did they think he would start undressing or something if they gave him enough? I’d just never seen anyone throw money around here like that before. They certainly never threw dollar bills at The Ruckus. I guess that was just the type of effect Justin had on women.
By the third song, I needed a breather. Retreating to the bathroom, I splashed water on my face before returning to the tables just in time to hear him finally speak into the microphone in a low and sultry voice.
“I’m Justin Banks from New York City. I’ll be here for the next few weeks. Thanks for coming out tonight.”
Applause and a few whistles rang out. My focus on Justin had prevented me from tending to my customers. A few of them were waving me down, antsy for refills, so I took their orders and made my way over to the bar.
Justin took a sip of beer then spoke through the mic again. “This next song is an original I recently wrote myself. Hope you like it.” He strummed the guitar once and added, “It’s called,
She Likes to Watch.”
My body stilled upon hearing the title, and it took a few seconds to register.
“This song goes out to all the sneaky little voyeurs out there. You know who you are.”
The retaliation that I’d assumed he’d waived was in fact simply delayed and about to be dished out in all its glory. I refused to look over toward the stage. The bartender placed the drinks in front of me, and I forced my wobbly legs to move long enough to drop them off to their rightful owners before the song started.
She pretends to be a good girl,
Quiet and refined.
But Daddy always said,
Those are the worst kind.
Turns out he was right.
As I found out the other night...
She likes to watch.
Mmm hmm…she likes to watch.
You think you are alone,
Until you hear that little moan.
She likes to watch.
Mmm hmm…she likes to watch.
She’ll catch you naked and exposed,
When you think the door is closed.
She’s a princess and a voyeur,
Curiosity will destroy her.
Maybe therapy will heal ya,
It’s not too late for you, Amelia.
She likes to watch.
Mmm hmm…she likes to watch.
And my kinky little friend,
Insists on staying till the end.
She likes to watch.
Mmm hmm…she likes to watch.
When the song eventually ended, the crowd went wild. They apparently loved the idea behind it. Did he really have to put my name in there? A part of me was mortified, but I had to admit, there was another part of me that was…relieved. His writing the song was a little reminder of the way things used to be.
When I finally garnered the courage to look over at him, he flashed a mischievous smile before moving right into the next song. I’m sure he could tell by the look on my face that he’d successfully managed to embarrass me.
Well played.
***
Back at the house that night, Justin retreated to his room without as much as one word to me. It felt a little strange knowing that we were alone for the first time without Jade. The feeling was short-lived though.
At eleven the next morning, I was still in bed when I heard the front door open. I could hear the muffled sounds of Jade and Justin’s voices as she joined him in their bedroom. She must have left the city really early in the morning to come back here.
As much as I really liked Jade, something was unsettling about her return. There was always an underlying jealousy that I couldn’t help feeling. When the bed started creaking, nausea set in.
Damn.
She was home all of three minutes before pouncing on him. I couldn’t say I blamed her one bit, but I really didn’t want to hear it. I covered my head with my pillow, shut my eyes and reminded myself that they would both be gone in a few weeks.
Three weeks.
Around noon, I threw on a terry cloth sundress before joining Justin and Jade downstairs. The sun pouring into the kitchen was blinding.
Justin smirked and lifted the carafe. “Coffee?”
I flashed an exaggerated smile. “You know what? Yes. I would love some.”
Determined to continue my façade about loving Justin’s coffee, I refused to back down. Sadly, my body was becoming accustomed to the unusually high level of caffeine. The one morning I’d skipped it, the regular coffee hadn’t done the trick. I was becoming addicted to Justin’s coffee fusion, and that really sucked.
“So, how was Sandy’s last night? Did my baby rock the house?”
“He was amazing. Everyone loved him.”
Justin’s eyes met mine for a brief moment. I wanted him to know that I sincerely meant that.
He brushed it off. “It was fine. It’ll give me something to do to pass the time here.”
“What did you play?”
“I tried out a new song.”
I swallowed.
“The one you played for me the other night?” she asked.
“No. A different one.”
It dawned on me that Justin probably chose to perform
She Likes To Watch
last night in particular only because Jade wasn’t there. It still baffled me that he was keeping the whole incident to himself when he could have just told her and embarrassed the shit out of me.