Room 212 (18 page)

“You fucking will, Seth. If she can lose her shit this easily I don’t want you near her! Look at her! Dude, I like you. I really do, but you have to promise me right now you will stay away.”

“Dave, you don’t understand! I screwed up! I want her back, I was going to—”

“Too late, man. Stay away. I am not asking you any more, man, I am telling you.”

“Fine, I’ll call you tomorrow and if you don’t answer me I am coming to see her.”

“Oh, I’ll answer and you are going to stay away.” I heard more yelling as I finally let the darkness take me away.

*****

I woke up terrified and gasping for air. I saw a trash can full of puke next to my bed. I was home? No, this is not happening again. What happened? I found my footing and made my way to my bathroom and got into the shower with shaky hands. I couldn’t remember anything. Not a single damn thing. This was bad, really, really bad. I finished my shower and heard a knock on my bathroom door as I dried off and nearly jumped out of my skin.

“Laurs.”

“Dave? What are you doing here?”

“Get dressed. I need to talk to you.”

“I’ll be out in a minute.” I listened and heard him hesitate before walking back down the hall. What the hell was going on? Why the hell was Dave here? He must have brought me home. The party was all I remembered and not much of it. I quickly opened the door and walked down the hall. Dave had a grave look on his face and was sitting on my couch. There were take-out containers all over the place.

“Nice mess. How long have you been here?”

“The entire day and a half you have been sleeping, Laurs.”

“Oh, God, what happened?”

“I know you. I know you so well, Laurs, and I thought you knew better than to get fucked up on K in a room full of strangers!”

“Dave, I don’t know what came over me, really.” I saw his face tight with worry and anger and quickly added, “I am done, like completely done. I won’t ever do anything that stupid again.”

“Laurs, what’s going on?”

“Nothing, it was… I’m having a hard time with some stuff.”

“Seth?”

“Yeah, we’re done.”

“Look, no matter the reason, there’s no excuse for this, Laurs. You could have died. Have you forgotten we always said that would never be us? Face down in a pile of puke, come on! Are you forgetting Romeo?” Romeo was a really good friend of Dave’s that I had grown close to over the few years Dave had been in the club circuit. He had overdosed last year and it wounded us both deeply. We swore we would never end up like that. I could see Dave’s accusing stare and quickly apologized.

“I said I was done, Dave. I know I scared you. I’m sorry, I don’t remember anything.”

“And I will never forget.” He stood to face me and I saw my brother’s face fall. It was the first time I had seen emotion in him in a long time.

“Promise me, Laurs. Promise me you won’t let this be your life. Don’t let that asshole take you away from me.”

“I won’t. It’s all over and I swear, Dave.” He hugged me quickly, Dave never being one for affection, and grabbed his backpack.

“I’ll clean your mess. You have a gig?”

“Yeah, I missed one last night.”

“Dave, I don’t know what to say. I won’t do it again.”

“I have to go. Are you good?”

“Yeah. You aren’t going to tell me what happened?”

“Let’s forget it, the whole damn thing, and stay away from Todd. I mean it, Laurs. I doubt he will ever go near you again, but just stay away.”

“Dave, shut it. Shit, I said I was done!”

He brought me in for another hug and I realized just how badly I had scared my brother, and it scared me. I would keep my promise.

I buried my head in my hands as he shut the door and I let out a scream. No more, no more!

It had been easy to forget about Seth the last couple of weeks. I had spilled an entire bucket of lavender paint in my bedroom. I got a flat tire full of construction nails on I-75 and screamed bloody murder the whole time I was putting my spare on due to the cars whizzing by me and almost hitting me. I got into a few fights with Gary over the level of liquor in the bottles. I had actually stopped drinking the insane amount of liquor I used to siphon from his pockets. I was sent home twice for mouthing off to him and had to use some of my savings to pay the bills.

I decided to get enthusiastic and declare a new day, new life, one morning as I anxiously waited on my hair to go blonde, my egg timer ticking and my excitement racing through me, only to take off my towel and reveal my newly orange hair, which was now horribly corrected to jet black. I decided to take up jogging. Yes, exercise would be good for me. I spent almost a hundred dollars on new running shoes and made it exactly three minutes from my front door and trashed the shoes on my way back inside.

Cooking was going to be my next feat. I spent hours watching cooking shows, going to the Farmer’s Market, spending money on ingredients I could hardly spell, and melted my only pan to the stove. Marcia Barbie was pissed, to say the least.

I was desperately seeking some solace in life and karma was happy to remind me that it was unforgiving. I finally decided to go out and grace the world with my cursed presence and could no longer stomach any of it. The parties were too lame without the drugs and the drugs were too unappealing for the recovery time. I made a promise to Dave and more so to myself, nothing heavy. Nobody was worth numbing yourself to death over and I had nobody to blame but myself. I had learned my lesson. I was completely turned off by any man’s advances and not only that, my tips were suffering due to my lack of attention to any of my regulars. Life was officially over as far as I was concerned and I blamed him.

The days drifted by into months. I spent Thanksgiving with my parents and never went back to pre-Seth Laura. I worked hard and went home. I put most of my money in my savings. I spent a lot of time taking long walks with my new dog, Tetris. I had talked Marcia Barbie into letting me have him. I spent the first few months doing what my mother had told me, crying and trying to find a reason to be happy. Tetris came close. He was the smallest wiener dog I had ever seen. He had a horrible attitude and never did what he was told. He was just like me. I had been spending a lot of time with Callie and her new girlfriend Stella at their house off of lower Greenville Ave, when they weren’t partaking in their favorite drug.

I wanted to think about Seth and then try to forget him. I was great at the first part, not so good about the second. I refused to date anyone. I wanted no part of it. No amount of reasoning could make me see the light. I loved him the same every day. It wasn’t getting any better. By the time Christmas lights were up in the park, it had become routine for Tetris and I to walk it. I knew better than to go back in the summer, but now there was no reason to believe I could run into him.

And then I did.

I was talking trash to Tetris who had just left me a steaming pile of love on the grass when I saw him jog by me. The sun was setting and the reality was that I felt him before I saw him. I always had with Seth. He caught my eyes and stopped mid-stride. He had a huge smile on his face and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what the hell for. It annoyed me to no end. He wrapped his arms around me and I quickly backed away from him.

“Laura, hey what are you doing here?”

“Well, this is not your park and we didn’t discuss custody in our break up.”

“Cute, and who is this?”

“Tetris, the demon dog.”

“Hey, Tetris.” He leaned down to pet my mutt and it gave me a chance to really look at him. I had to remind myself I hated him. His hair was full of curls now and he looked…stronger? My heart started pounding in my chest.

“When did you get a dog?”

“When I found out they were easier to maintain than a boyfriend.” He stopped rubbing Tetris and stood to face me. His eyes were serious as he roamed my face and began to question me.

“Are you okay? I mean, are you good now?”

“Good now? Yeah, Seth, please don’t flatter yourself. I’ve been just fine,” I lied.

“Oh, well good. I was just worried.”

“Nothing to worry about, we broke up, not the end of the world, right?”

He eyed me suspiciously and then a realization washed over him. “Oh.”

“Oh, what?”

“Did you sleep with Paul? He won’t answer me.”

“Jesus, are you really asking me this?” I could see it would really bother him and there was no way I was answering him. I had to endure all I had, if this is what made him squirm, I was all for it. Thanks, Paul!

“Did you?”

“Come on, Tetris.” I grabbed my little mutt in my arms and kissed the top of his head, making my way to my Civic parked on the other side of the park. I felt his eyes on me even though I couldn’t see him. I refused to torture myself any longer. It still wasn’t getting any better. Seeing his face would ruin me again for months. He ran over to me as I put Tetris in the car. He was still barking his head off when I closed the door.

“Laura, wait.”

“Wait for what, Seth? I haven’t seen you in months and the first thing you ask me is where my vagina has been, after you dumped me for someone else?”

“I guess that wasn’t really fair.” He slipped off my scarf and put it back around my neck twisting it in place. It was so Seth of him. I narrowed my eyes and gave him my best ‘I hate you’ stare.

“How’s Rebecca?”

“She’s…fine.”

“Well good for you both. Merry Christmas, you can have the park.”

“Laura, I miss you.”

“Well good, but I’ve moved on. My new man is loyal, honest and has never shit on me. Isn’t that right, buddy?” Tetris picked that exact moment to start barking again. I smiled.

“You are so beautiful.” He was too close. I had to start inching away slowly to keep my wits about me.

“So people keep telling me. Take care, Seth.”

“You’re always running away from me.”

“And I always will.”

“Laura, wait. Don’t go.”

“He doesn’t like you,” I nodded toward Tetris who was giving a great performance of demon dog in A minor.

“That’s unfortunate.” He was too close to me. I was instantly terrified. He was wearing a t-shirt and sweats and it was freezing outside. I could see his breath as he edged his way closer to me.

“Don’t you dare. I have lived in the same apartment with the same phone number for months and you want to take a freak accident and make it memorable. Forget it, ass—”

Tetris started barking louder as his mother got the kiss of her life. He wasn’t gentle, he wasn’t even tender the way he had always been. He was hungry. I let him kiss me because I still loved him, because I wanted him to, and because it felt so good.

“I miss you so much,” he said, thrusting his tongue into my mouth a second time, taking my head and tilting it back. He had me pinned against my car and I was helpless against him. I felt the familiar gentleness come back as he devoured my mouth completely. I let out a small moan and it seemed to work him into another feeding frenzy. My anger was starting to outweigh my need. I pushed him away with both hands on his chest.

“Stop it.”

“Laura, please don’t make me stop.”

“You made me stop!” I saw his face fall as he struggled with what to say. I felt myself getting angrier and angrier at the colossal shit storm my life had turned into and the fact that I was finally making some progress and he was here ruining all of it. All I wanted to do now was feel his arms around me, his lips on mine, just to hear him call me baby one more time.

“I want you, Laura. I know things got a little complicated. I couldn’t just come back…”

Now I was pissed.

“He was right.”

“Who?”

“Paul.”

I saw agitation and disgust cross his face as he replied through gritted teeth. “About what?”

“About you. You are a nasty bastard when it comes to women and you take what you want without thinking it through. I know he dated Rebecca first.”

“So you did sleep with him.”

“Fuck you!”

He bent down again to kiss me with a viscous bite and pulled my hair back as he pressed his mouth over mine. This time I was unable to control myself. I moaned loudly as he worked his way from my lips to my throat. I took his kiss and the beating he was giving me and cried out to him when he reached my nipples underneath my sweater with his cold hands. I slowly lost the ability to stand and he swept me up, sitting me on the hood of my car, positioning himself between my legs. I wanted so badly to tell him I loved him. To tell him that I thought of him every day, that there would never be anyone to take his place.

Instead I stopped him again, pushing past him to jump off the hood of my car.

“So Paul can’t have me, but you don’t want me. You two are a twisted set.”

“He is twisted. I’m coming to your apartment.”

“I won’t be home.”

“Laura, I need to talk to you.”

“No you don’t. If you had something to say before tonight, you knew where to find me.”

“That’s just it. I couldn’t and I can’t help dumb luck any more than you can. Look around, no one is here. We are the only two people in Dallas at this park. Do you think this happens all the time? I knew better than to listen—”