Roman's Redemption: Roman: Book II (Roman's Trilogy) (23 page)

Maybe he was her soul mate?

The things she felt the night before were strange and new. They were also magical, making her feel euphoria she never knew existed.

And maybe, just maybe, he was the one person who would notice her. Her. Elizbeth.

“Mother, I’m serious. I’ve never seen her before. I found her screaming and couldn’t get her to speak, or at least speak anything intelligible. As soon as she wakes I’ll make sure she gets home, alright, mother?”

The poor girl’s mind hasn’t processed a single word she heard spoken before walking into the dining room and seeing her mother and the guy from last night sitting at the dining room table.

“Lizbeth, my dear sweet child, this is your older brother, Sebastian. Sebastian, meet your half-sister, Lizbeth.”

My half-brother?

Neither of them spoke for what Elizbeth thought was seventeen hours. They just stared at one another until finally their mother spoke again.

“Lizbeth, what time is your plane leaving, child?”

Without thought she answered, “Now. Right now, right this second, we have to go.”

Elizbeth didn’t even pack her things or make her bed. She grabbed her suitcase, locked it and ran down the stairs and out of the house. Only after the taxi cab turned onto the street did she look back at the house. She swore to never return.

Not with him there.

She thought this trip would show her what the Gods or fate had in store for her and her life. She knew now though, this trip wasn’t about showing her, it was about teaching her to not believe she could have something magical, something that made her feel alive. This trip was a warning of what hope could do to you.

Now, I want you to look at her again. Do you see that young woman there? The one whose lip is split, huddled over there in the corner. Do you see how her eyes are always cast downward? Now that you’re paying attention, can you see her?

Very good.

Watch… her hazel eyes flash from topaz to emerald when she glances up, quietly studying everything from behind the veil of her red ringlets.

Such a poor child, she’s pitiful, don’t you think?

It’s almost painful to watch as everyone around her so easily over looks her, and I can promise you it’s been this way all of her life.

I told you she was pitiful.

Such a shame.

Now, ask her if she heeded that warning. The warning she was given all those years ago, and then again, time after time.

Go ahead.

Fucking ask me.

Ask me if I returned the following Christmas breaks in hopes of seeing him again. Ask me if while I waited three hundred and fifty one days for those fourteen I would possibly see him again, if I didn’t finger myself every night first reliving then embellishing my memories of the night I first met my half-brother. Don’t be coy, now, don’t look so scandalized now, not after eagerly listening to every word of the story while I had you believing you were nothing but a sideliner learning the sad, pathetic life someone else lived, someone detached and unknown to you.

No.

I figured you wouldn’t ask.

No one wants to ask the obvious.

And that is why in the end, after a lifetime of losing battle after battle, in the end I will be who wins this war.

Chapter 31

It’s been two weeks since Heather’s accident. Two. Weeks.

No one is any closer to finding Ivy and Dolores still absolutely refuses to speak.

I would say I’m losing my mind, or my patience, but those aren’t what I’m running thin on. I’m losing more of my fucking humanity with every day both of my girls are gone. They make me whole, human. As long as one of them is there to ground me in the other’s absence I’m still okay. I can still function. But not without them both. I’m falling apart, I’m grasping at straws and my demons are only serving as enablers, tempting me toward the dark hole, seducing me to the dark side.

Because when I allow the darkness to sink its nails into me and take over, I get what I want. I get it by any means necessary. And the power of having that back is extremely enticing for men like me.

Men like me who are new to this overrated way of living life with honor, respect, and…humanity.

You see how hard this argument is to deny? Especially given where I stand in this life?

How many times have you heard of Satan crying? Having a broken heart, or grieving the loss of the woman he loves or his child? Have you ever heard of him breaking down because he lost someone?

No.

Because with your humanity comes your ability to feel pain, uncertainty, sadness, and regret.

Feeling those four things is not worth the way it feels when Ivy looked back at me searching my face for pride when she showed me she could write her name, and they’re also not worth the look of unwavering love and devotion as my wife looks up at me while I slide into her heaven to the hilt.

If it ever was worth it, I staunch that nick where it bleeds, cauterizing it like I should have from the very beginning of this preposterous search for me and my unattainable redemption.

That’s what we’re all here for anyway, isn’t it?

To watch in amusement as I fail to become the man who deserves Heather and Ivy?

You’re here for a tragedy.

Then let’s watch as it unfolds…

“So, you kidnapped our sister during her investigation of you? And what? Told her you didn’t kill all those girls, she believed you somehow. Then what happened? Then she fell in love, married you, and got pregnant?” Cody’s voice is comparable to nails raking across a chalkboard.

The migraine currently carving into the frontal lobe of my brain spots my vision, I nod, “Yes. If I had to sum it up in the manner you just did, pretty much, that’s how it happened give or take a few details.”

“And then you just left her with Seb? Someone you trusted, one of your closest men. You left her and Ivy. Why, Rome?”

“BECAUSE! I THOUGHT I WAS DOING THE RIGHT THING, MOTHERFUCKER
!” I yell back at him. I can’t keep this charade up. I’m done. I’m ending the game and tossing my cards on the table, let them fall where they may. “I did the only thing I fucking could to keep my wife and child safe, and in the end all I did was fuck them up more and hand them over to a bastard sicker and more evil than I am. Is that what you want to hear Cody?” My voice cracks with exhaustion. I look around at Heather’s brothers and Andrew in my office, all faces showing equal haggard determination.

“Calm down, Rome. Cody, back the hell off.” Bobby settles his gaze on me, “Jim, my guy in the SPD said from what he could find, the link between Dolores, Sebastian, and a woman, Elizbeth, currently living in southern Louisiana is that both Sebastian and Elizbeth, or Lizbeth, are children of Dolores fathered by different men.”

Andrew steps forward, “Jase said he was able to track down an Elizbeth Gorman in Orleans parish. He’s headed to Baton Rouge for a meeting with his NOPD contacts of contacts. Let’s just say, he called in some favors, yeah?”

“And when does his plane land?” I ask as I pull up all flights from SEA to any and all landings whose final destination is southern Louisiana with a passenger by the name of Jase.

Andrew flicks his wrist before glancing down, “In New Orleans, ETA: fifty-three minutes.”

I abruptly stand from my chair and head towards the exit, pausing at the door, I tilt my head and tell the room at my back, “Find fucking Sebastian, I don’t care how, just bring him to me. And if you get the half-sister in the process, consider yourself a motherfucking millionaire, understood?”

Without awaiting a response I slam the door of my office behind me.

As I make my way down the main stairway and glance to the main sitting area, I see my mother looking out the windows overlooking the back of the manor.

It almost killed me to witness my mother’s heart break until it was shattered as Andrew filled her in on what we’d learned without giving her more than she could handle.

Now as I look at the lost expression on her face, I know Andrew gave her more than she could handle when he informed her of her husband’s affair with the housekeeper who kept our house cleaned and helped raise her son.

“Mom?” She jumps and looks over her shoulder, I watch as her mask falls over her confused expression and immediately my heart cracks for her.

She smiles, “Hey, sweetie. Did you and the boys get anything figured out?”

I drop my eyes to the floor, wrapping an arm around the top of her shoulders and kiss the top her head. “Somewhat, how are you?”

She rests her hand on my chest and pats it, “Sweetie, don’t worry about me. You need to focus on Heather and getting your baby girl back. Not me,” My mother’s crystal blue eyes well with tears. “I’ve lived my life, Roman, luckily I didn’t know I was living a lie, but it doesn’t matter anymore. What matters now is getting your family back and you getting the chance to live the life you deserve, sweet boy.”

“Mom-“

Her head shakes before I can protest, “No, Roman. No.” She looks up at me after blinking her tears away and sadly smiles, “You want me to make you boys something to eat? Please let me, I need something to keep my mind off what…”

“Mom, if you need to, yes, please do. You know I love your chicken salad sandwiches.” I smirk at her trying to follow her lead in keeping things light.

Shaking her head she makes her way towards the kitchen calling out over her shoulder, “You and your smirk have gotten you out of more trouble with me, I swear.”

I don’t know if it’s because I’m a parent, or maybe it’s just my love for my baby girl, but when my mother’s words are spoken they echo through me, weakening the hardened defense I keep trying to use to staunch my humanity.

There is no more word from any of our leads the rest of the day. After sandwiches with Andrew and my mother, I decide to head to my bedroom and feign sleep.

My cell phone ringing wakes me from yet another night of restless sleep, “This is Roman.”

“Mr. Payne, this is Dr. Harrison. After the CT scans came back showing we were in the clear yesterday, I ordered the night nurses to begin slowly weaning Heather off her sedation at midnight.” Her words have me bolting upright and race maniacally from the bed, headed to the master walk-in closet. I put Dr. Harrison on speaker as I grab whatever clothes might look presentable.  “When I made my rounds this morning at seven, well, Mr. Payne, your wife is conscious and seems to have suffered no memory loss. She’s asking for you. From what the nurses reported during my rounds, as soon as she began coming to, she immediately started calling out for you-“

“
FUCK!
Why didn’t you inform me of the changes in Heather’s plan of care?! I wanted to be there. I fucking told you I wanted to be there. So again, why wasn't I notified of the change in her care plans? You know what, fuck this, I’ll be at the hospital in less than ten minutes. We can discuss this face to face.”

When my eyes land on Heather’s as I walk through the door of her hospital room, my heart beats in my chest again and all the air in my lungs is kicked out. It’s when she smiles at me that tears fill my eyes. Before I realize it, I’m laying down in her hospital bed next to her, gently cradling, molding her body to mine. I assume she is on pain medications, she just has so many bruises I’m trying to be careful.