Romance Me (Boxed Set) (48 page)

“Oh, God. Ethan,” she gasped, water streaming down her face.

“Yeah, that’s what I just said about you,” Ethan gritted out. “You’re nude.”

“And you’re rude,” Sadie snapped. “Get me a towel and turn your back. You gave up all rights to look at my naked body, remember?”

He didn’t turn around. Instead, he bent down and held out a hand. “I did no such thing. I said that we wouldn’t have a relationship, something you agreed to.”

“Fine. Look all you want. But it’s my pool, so don’t expect me to apologize for skinny-dipping.” Sadie reached up for his hand. As he helped haul her out, she slipped on the Italian tile. Grabbing her to keep her from falling, Ethan ended up with her wet and very nude body pressed against his.

Arousal stabbed him to the core. “This is not good,” he muttered.

“You’re a big boy, you can handle it. Now stop acting like a caveman and let me go. I’m dripping all over you.”

“I think I can handle a little water. It’s you I’m pretty sure I can’t handle.” His hands tightened their grip on her arms, pulling her closer, as if by their own accord. He couldn’t shake this black mood, knew he was taking it out on Sadie. He just couldn’t find it in himself to care.

Sadie twisted in his grasp but was unable to break his hold on her arms. “Let me go, Ethan,” she demanded.

Everything seemed to blur out of focus except Sadie, who stood in front of him completely clear, surrounded by the late afternoon haze. He released his grip on her arms but slid his hands up to her shoulders and pulled her in even tighter.

“Please, Ethan, let me go.” A plea, not a demand this time.

“No.”

“Ethan.” Sadie’s body trembled.

He slid his arms even further around her shoulders and swayed his hips forward to connect with hers. She bent her head and tucked it neatly beneath his chin, her cheek resting on his chest, just below his clavicle. He dropped soft kisses on the top of her head.

Sadie’s fingertips traced an outline on the front of his black T-shirt, following a pattern made by water dripping from her hair. With a sigh, her body relaxed into his. She sent her arms upward to wrap around his back. That subtle shift, that release of tension, was all he needed. With a groan, he ran a hand up her side, cradling a breast with his palm as he took her mouth with his.

She tasted sweet—her lips cool from the pool water, her tongue hot against his. The scent of chlorine and late-blooming lilacs slid into him…insidious, persistent. He couldn’t shake the scent any more than he could shake his desire to taste her mouth, her body.

Ethan crushed her to him, cupping her buttock with one hand as the other massaged her breast, pulling her in tighter, closer. He clashed his mouth to hers, taking her air, feeding off her.

Sadie broke her mouth free from his, gasping desperately. She moved her mouth to his neck, covering it with hot, wet kisses, biting her way up his jaw line.

“I need you,” he grated out.

Sadie’s sharp intake of breath aroused him further. Her body quivered under his hands, against his frame, giving him the answer he sought. Ethan slid his hands down her back, following the curve of her hips with his hands. He shoved one khaki-clad knee between her legs, raising it high until her hips were spread around his, her toes barely touching the ground.

“Take these clothes off me,” he demanded.

Sadie’s hands shook as she grabbed his T-shirt from behind. She ripped it off over his head, then dropped her hands to unbutton the fly of his pants. She undid the zipper and hurriedly pulled his pants off, evidence of his arousal plain for both to see. Their bare bodies stood clasped together, one wet and soft, the other dry and hard.

“The cabana,” Sadie whispered. “There’s a bed in the cabana.”

In a smooth motion, Ethan swept her up in his arms and made his way to the cabana, only a few feet away. The gauze curtains swirled and billowed in the late afternoon breeze, beckoning, inviting.

Her body glimmered with drops of pool water, but Ethan made no attempt to dry her. Instead, he placed her on the bed and followed her down, melding his body with hers. One hand stroked her face as he looked deep into her eyes. The other swirled around her pleasure spot, using the lightest of touches until she bucked her hips upward.

Sadie arched her back. “Ethan.” His name was whispered between pants and gasps. “Take me. Please, take me.”

He knew he should stop, should stand up and walk away. Sadie deserved better than this, deserved his loyalty to the festival, to her. But he couldn’t tear himself away—something held him tight to her, blended him with her in a way he couldn’t name. He could feel the difference in their lovemaking this time compared to their encounter in the spring. It wasn’t just his body that ached for her.

Somehow, his heart had become involved.

***

The air in the cabana hung heavy. Sweet. In the back of Sadie’s mind were whispered warnings, but as the roar of passion grew, the warnings faded to black. Ethan’s breath on her face brought up deep animal instincts. She hungered for him, needed him. This was no longer her schoolgirl crush—this was more, immensely more.

She bent her neck forward until their heads were touching, her wet blond hair tangling with his dry black curls. Ethan pulled up, away. Cool air brushed over her, tempering the molten heat. She sobbed and pulled at Ethan’s shoulders, willing his body to come back to her, to cover her, to heat her—to bring back the volcano.

When Ethan opened his eyes, she saw her own feral heat reflected.

“Condoms?” he grated out.

She pointed to the small cupboard next to the bed. He reached in, pulled one out, then sheathed himself. In moments, he was inside her. Shivers tore through her, ripped from her by his forceful entrance. She curved her core, trying to keep her face next to his, sucking in his jagged exhales. And then they were flying, soaring together, across oceans and canyons and mountains and valleys. Sadie sobbed, clutching at Ethan’s back, at his shoulders, wrapping herself tightly around his frame, wending her fingers in his hair, opening her heart to his. Her body tightened and shook, readying itself for the ultimate release. A wave of warmth flowed over her, a budding climax—no—something different, something unknown.

Her eyes flew open to see Ethan staring straight at her. He broke eye contact to kiss her, his mouth hard and his tongue deep, communicating something more profound than words. The wave of warmth flooded her again as she peaked.

She knew as she climaxed that this warm, flowing river washing over her was love. Pure, unfiltered love. Impossible love.

***

Gasping for breath, Ethan collapsed his weight on Sadie’s lean frame.

Oh, God, Sadie loved him.

As she’d climaxed, she’d cried out that she loved him. What the hell was he to do? He ducked his head, pressing his forehead against hers, eyes closed.

He’d done it again—slept with Sadie. Only this time it hadn’t been two friends having fun. This time it had been primal, instinctive—a coming together out of need, desperation, want and desire.

And she’d said she loved him.

Immediately the regret began. He’d screwed up. Sadie was going to get hurt.

Ethan rolled off her and watched her struggle to gather her composure. Her breath finally under control, she stood and strode naked to the small cabana closet. The sudden loss of her warm body next to his brought a feeling of loneliness foreign to him. He longed for her to come back, to wrap her body around his, to ease this growing ache in his chest. In the depths of his mind he could hear her name being repeated, over and over again, a faint whisper—
Sadie
.

The whisper had been coming more and more in the last few weeks—just her name, just the one word,
Sadie
.

She tossed him a white terrycloth robe that he caught with a snap of his wrist. She shrugged on a matching robe and came to sit next to his naked frame.

“Why are you here?” she asked. “I presume not to sleep with me.”

He sat up and swung on the robe, covering his nudity as she’d covered hers. “I came to tell you bad news, but this wasn’t the way I planned to deliver it.”

Sadie let out a rueful laugh. “I guess it’s a new take on the phrase, ‘Don’t kill the messenger.’ Sleep with him instead.”

“I’m sorry,” Ethan said.

“For what?”

“For not leaving when I saw you naked. For staying when I should have walked away. For letting this happen again.”

Sadie snorted, her gaze fixed on something far away. “Let it go.”

“I can’t, and you know it.”

“Let it go, Ethan.” Sadie ground the words out between clenched teeth.

“You said you loved me.”

Her jaw dropped, realization dawning. Then her gaze hardened and she shrugged. “It doesn’t mean anything.”

“It means something to me.”

His last statement silenced her. Her jaw clenched and her eyes blinked rapidly, tears forming. Her gaze dropped to her hands in her lap. “Just tell me why you’re here,” she said in a small voice.

Ethan blew out a breath. Maybe avoiding the discussion of what they’d just done was the best. What did he know? Maybe telling her about the problems with his program would be what she needed to get her mind off what she’d just confessed.

Maybe.

He launched into the discussion he’d had with Jack. He watched Sadie as he outlined the detail of the ground contamination, the lack of a parking area, how the program would be stalled for a couple of years. She listened quietly, occasionally interrupting to ask for more detail. When he finished, she let out a long, slow breath.

“I’ll write up a report and go before the board at the end of the month, informing them of the significant delay. I’ll petition to get them to increase the funding for a new amphitheater site, but it will be tough.”

“I’m so sorry,” Ethan said. “I really screwed up here.”

Sadie turned to him. “But it wasn’t your fault—you didn’t do anything wrong.”

Ethan felt like exploding. “But I
did
. I got a national program started before I had a venue secured. That’s going to cost the festival, and you’ll take the hit. That was my fault, not yours, but now you’re the one in the bad position. I should have made sure every part of the project was locked in before I submitted that proposal to you.”

“You’re being too hard on yourself.”

Too hard on himself? He’d royally fucked up Sadie’s festival, messed up Cameron and the other kids’ futures, and slept with Sadie—he should be run out of town for all the damage he’d done.

Sadie. Sadie
. Her name whispered through his head again, reverberating against the sides of his skull, inescapable. Images of her flashed through his mind, like photographs—Sadie laughing at the bar with Jack, her head tilted back, Sadie in the office, hauling a heavy file box on one shoulder as she pretended to be a weight lifter, Sadie underneath him, her eyes dreamy as they looked into his, so trusting, so loving. The images and her name wouldn’t leave his mind, wouldn’t leave him alone.

He couldn’t let go, couldn’t escape.

Sadie
.

Ethan looked at her then, watched her duck her head to hide behind her hair. Too late, however, to keep him from seeing her jaw tremble and her eyes fill with tears.

Goddamn him. Why did he have to go and hurt this woman? Ethan stood up, swept off the robe, and pulled on his pants. He zipped them as he spoke, anger clouding his mind, getting in the way of his words. “This can’t work—” He swept a hand out, indicating the wrinkled bed cover. “We can’t just sleep together and act as if it didn’t happen. You love me, and I can’t ever give you what you deserve—a husband, kids, the works.”

He turned his back to her, but still the image of her face burned into his mind. The voice inside his head wouldn’t shut up—Goddamn it, why wouldn’t it shut up?

Sadie, Sadie, Sadie
.

A fleeting memory stirred at the back of his mind, a memory of his mother repeating a word over and over again. Was this how it had started for her? He shoved a hand through his hair. “I can’t do this to you anymore. I can’t be with you, day by day, knowing you love me and not being able to do anything about it.”

When Sadie placed her hand on his arm, he whirled about, facing her. He had to walk away—from her, from the job. He had to.

It was the only way to keep her from being hurt even more.

“I have to quit.”

At his harsh words, Sadie’s chin dropped to her chest, her shoulders caved. He thought he heard her say something, but he turned and walked away, no longer willing to see what devastation he’d brought.

Chapter Sixteen

Sadie watched Ethan storm away, nausea churning her stomach. He’d quit. Ethan had quite the Modern Playwrights Festival. Quit the Youth Theater Academy. He’d quit her. He’d even quit Lia.

She watched with eyes clouded by tears as Ethan paused at the corner of the pool. His silhouette was framed by muted pinks and purples of the evening sky. She held her breath, willing him to come back. Instead, he strode forward again, walking out of sight. The she heard the roar of his car and knew he was gone.

She knew Ethan hadn’t quit because of his mistake over the amphitheater site. He’d been disappointed, yes. Disappointed that he’d let her down, let down the festival, and let down the kids who would be too old next year to have a chance.