ROMANCE: Billionaire Bear Mate (Paranormal Alpha WereBear Shifter Mail Order Bride Romance) (Paranormal Romance, Bear Shifter Romance, Werebear Shapeshifter) (4 page)

3

They were on the road again by seven the next morning. Madison had been released from the hospital late the previous afternoon, and they’d gone back to the hotel room armed with medication and instructions. Blake seemed determined that something like this would never happen again. His attentiveness and care caught Madison off guard; for a man that had been so distant for so long he really made an effort with her.

They didn’t talk much along way, as the last time they drove, but this time the silence was companionable. Blake suggested that Madison choose a station, and the drove together, listening to a talk show Madison hadn’t had time for in a while.

The last stretch to Boston would be a fourteen hour one, and they had a lot of time on the road.

“Let me know when you want me to take over for a while,” Madison said after about six hours on the road. Blake shook his head.

“I don’t want you driving. The medication is still in your system and you just need to relax. I’ve got this.”

“It’s not necessary for you to do the full shift. You drove the whole way to Chicago.”

But Blake wouldn’t hear anything of it, and after a couple of back-and-forth arguments, Madison gave up.

When they reached the turn off for Detroit, Madison cast a glance at Blake, and she frowned. He was covered in a sheen of sweat, his skin shiny with the wetness. His eyes were bloodshot like they’d been in the hospital, but worse, and he gripped the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned white.

“Are you feeling alright?” she asked. She knew the answer to her question, and still Blake shook his head.

“It’s just a wave. It’ll pass.” His voice cracked at the end of his sentence and he coughed. A shiver rippled over his skin, so precisely she could see it start from his head and work down his neck, over his arms and then under his clothes down his body. He looked rough, like his outline was starting to take on a different shape. The edges of the man I knew were becoming blurred.

“Blake?” Madison said. Worry was clear in her voice now. Blake hadn’t looked like this for years, but she knew the symptoms – recognized them for what they were.

“Maybe you should—“ she didn’t get a chance to finish her sentence. Blake’s arms grew bigger, the muscle bulging underneath the skin. His hands became larger on the feel, his skin covered in hair all over, and his nails grew and became pointed before his hands shrunk and bulged out.

The car started swerving across the road. Blake was changing. No full moon, no night time, no privacy. He was changing right here right now.

“Pull over!” Madison cried and Blake managed to slow the car enough not to cause them hard. They bumped unevenly over the rough terrain next to the road, and finally the car skidded to a side-ways stop. Madison realized her hands were gripping the door handle and her seatbelt, and her breathing was shallow.

But her own body wasn’t the thing that needed her attention now. Next to her Blake was making a sound that was a lot less like groaning and a lot more like growling. It was deep and throaty. His whole face was changing, losing everything that made him Blake. His face shaped out into a muzzle, and long sharp teeth were visible under his lips that he pulled up in a snarl.

A ripping sound filled the car as his clothes gave into his change in size, and moment later he sat on the driver’s seat, a giant wolf among the shredded bits of clothing.

Madison hadn’t seen Blake’s wolf in almost twenty years. The animal was majestic and beautiful. And deadly. It had aged, as Blake had. It was more distinguished, and its black eyes looked wiser. Its fur was a rich glossy brown, with gray paws and a grayed muzzle.

“Blake, honey,” Madison said, keeping her voice soft and low. She didn’t want to startle him. She knew that he was an animal first and foremost like this, and he could turn on her if she wasn’t careful. The wolf looked at her, its eyes on her. She was careful not to make eye contact. All those years ago she’d learned how to deal with the wolf, and all of that training was coming back now.

“Let’s get out of the car, let you run it off a bit.” She knew that if he got out into the trees and he got rid of his pent up emotion, it helped. The part of the road they’d ended up stopping at was in between houses scattered around, and they’d just passed a big construction area. Broad daylight wasn’t exactly the best time to let loose a werewolf, but she had no idea what to do. There was handful of trees on Madison’s right that they could use, although it wouldn’t be a lot of cover. Still, better than nothing.

“We don’t have a lot of options, but come on over here,” Madison said and walked toward the trees, hoping Blake would follow. She kept an eye on the road for cars, but it seemed like it was quiet despite the fact that it was a main road. The last thing she needed was a car stopping because the driver saw a big wolf stalking a woman.

By the time they reached the trees Madison was breathing hard. She was out of energy, and leaned on her knees, trying to catch her breath. It was difficult to think just two days ago she’d been fit enough to run all the stairs in her office building.

Blake ran into the trees the moment they hit cover, and Madison hoped he would stick to the handful of trees and not head out into the open field beyond. If someone saw him it could cause trouble. Illinois wasn’t famous for its wolves.

Madison squatted down and waited. The sun crawled along the sky, beating down on her neck and shoulders, but she didn’t want to wander into the trees. She guessed about an hour had passed, and still there was no sign of Blake.

How long would it take him to get himself back under control? Madison realized with a pang of guilt that it was a question she didn’t know the answer to. The biggest part of her husband’s life, and she wasn’t clued in. She had to change that.

What was she saying? Madison didn’t have to change anything. They were getting a divorce. He wanted to get away from being tied down, probably so he could find himself a pack to belong to. A family wasn’t enough anymore.

Madison had asked him long ago why he didn’t belong to a pack.

“Too dangerous,” he’d said. “There are other wolves around Pierre, but I don’t want to fall under a different Alpha. If he calls, I’ll have to go, no matter what. And if I do something wrong, I don’t want you to be the weakness they use against me.”

He’d been willing to go against his nature for his family. And Madison had rewarded him by knowing nothing about his life. She felt like a rotten wife.

When another hour had passed Madison started to worry. She was sure it shouldn’t have taken this long, not in the middle of the day. The whole thing was bizarre. It had looked like Blake hadn’t been able to control the change, and that meant that something was very wrong. If there was one thing in life Blake had down to a tee, it was control. His whole life was an organized system. There wasn’t room for this kind of error.

Madison wandered into the trees. The rest had given her enough energy, and she picked out a small path through the trees. She had to find him. There was no knowing how far he’d gone in two hours, if he’d kept running and was miles away from her by now, or if he’d been circling.

She didn’t want to call.

Madison circled around slowly, keeping her eyes and ears open. When she was almost back to the clearing by the road again, she saw a bare foot sticking out of the undergrowth. She held her breath, and crept closer. When she moved the twigs hanging over the leg with her foot, it was Blake.

His eyes were closed and he looked like his temperature had sky-rocketed. His skin glistened with sweat, and his mouth was half-open. But he was human. Madison crawled closer to him and put her hand on his bare chest. He didn’t have any clothes on, but despite the chill in the air and his nakedness, his skin was on fire.

“Blake?” she said softly. His eyelids fluttered at the sound of his name, but there was no other response.

“Blake, honey,” she said again, shaking him slightly. She couldn’t get him back to the car by herself. She had little energy as it was, and she wasn’t going to flag someone down to drag her naked husband back to the car. He had to wake up.

As if he’d heard her thoughts he opened his eyes, and looked at her. His eyes were hazy but they focused on Madison’s face and he attempted a smile.

“Come on to the car,” Madison said, urging him to stand up. Blake rolled onto his side with a groan, and pushed himself on his elbow. Madison tried to help him, but his weight made it hard. He was a lot of muscle.

It took a while, but they made it to the car and by some miracle no one had seen them. Or if they did they’d kept driving. Maybe a naked man wasn’t so strange around here.

Madison walked to the trunk and found Blake clothes in his bag. He got dressed awkwardly in the car, and Madison put back the passenger seat so he wouldn’t have to sit up.

“I’m driving,” she said sternly when he started to protest, an slid into the driver’s seat. “And we’re getting you somewhere you can rest for a bit.”

“But our trip…” Blake started, but his breathing was strained and he didn’t bother finished his argument.

“I’m finding us a motel,” Madison said and looked over her shoulder for traffic before she pulled into the road.

She found a motel about five miles down the road, and left Blake in the car while she sorted out a room. When they were finally indoors and Blake was on the bed, she sat down next to him. He tipped his head to her, eyes droopy, and gave her a lopsided grin.

“You want to tell me what that was all about?” she asked. She didn’t care that she sounded demanding. She had to know what was going on. It looked like she wasn’t the only one that had been hiding things.

“I’m struggling to control my wolf,” Blake said, cutting to the chase. “I’ve been running alone for so long, it’s starting to act out.”

“Is it because you’re a lone wolf?” Madison asked. She didn’t understand the dynamic of a werewolf pack. Blake nodded.

“It’s natural for a wolf to belong to a pack. The wolves draw their stability and control from the Alpha, and he draws his strength from them in return. It’s a give-and-take kind of thing. I haven’t been able to do any of that for a while… I’ve just been feeling like it’s all slipping.”

Madison shook her head. How long had he been a lone wolf. Thirty years? Longer?

“Why haven’t you told me?” she asked softly, not looking at Blake. She felt guilty for everything she’d missed. Blake shrugged.

“I don’t know. I’m supposed to be strong. You know? The Alpha of my own pack. I shouldn’t be the one leaning on you. I’m the man.”

Madison shook her head. “We’re people, Blake,” she said. Her voice had a bite to it, but she was upset. “We’re not wolves. We don’t live in a hierarchy, we live in equality. That means that I should lean on you, and you should lean on me. And you should tell me when you’re not okay, before it gets this bad.”

“That’s rich, coming from you,” Blake said and pushed himself up so he was sitting. Madison rolled her eyes, but nodded. It was true. She’d done exactly the same thing, even if it wasn’t for the exact same reason.

“Maybe we needed to hold onto each other more,” Blake said.

“It’s what a marriage is, after all,” Madison said in a voice so low it was almost a whisper. Blake reached up and put his hand on her cheek. The touch was so intimate it sent a jolt of electricity through Madison’s body. She didn’t know when last he’d touched her like that, like she was only thing in the world that could fix something for him. She looked into his eyes, and they were liquid pools of black that she could fall into forever.

“I don’t want to lose you,” she said, and the sudden wave of emotion that washed over her when she said it caught her by surprise. She wasn’t as numb and unfeeling about the whole thing as she’d thought. An emotions flickered across Blake’s face too fast for Madison to read. Then his features softened, and he pulled her closer to him.

He kissed her.

His lips were soft and gentle on hers, and he brought his other hand up too so he cupped her face. She kissed her like he meant it, like he had in the beginning. And she kissed him back.

God, she’d missed him. He was every bit as soft and caring with her as he’d been when they’d just met. He was the pillar of strength and the confidante and the hero and the partner again, all fused into a muscled body that knew what it wanted from her.

It had been years and years of drought, and in a crabby motel room miles away from Pierre and the life they’d built there, Madison finally felt like she was coming home again.

With bodies entwined they made love like they hadn't in years. Since the beginning. Tenderness with an undercurrent of fierce passion. Madison clenched her hands against Blake's strong back and gave in completely to her husband, her alpha wolf.

4

They left the hotel room early Tuesday morning. They were three days behind schedule and neither of them cared.

The road was busy with the general week morning rush and they weaved through traffic to get back on the Interstate. Once they were on the road to Boston, traveling went quicker.

Blake looked like himself again. His hair looked like it had grayed a bit more overnight, and Madison noticed the fine wrinkles around his eyes that she hadn’t seen there before. She wondered what else she’s missed in the time they’d spent in ignorance of each other.

Blake’s hands were relaxed on the wheel. It had been a scare yesterday. Madison had had no idea that the sacrifices Blake had made for them were that big. She understood why he hadn’t spoken to her about it, but things needed to change if they were going to make anything work between them from now on.

They stopped in Buffalo for lunch, and sat together at a diner. When last had they shared a meal together like that? The whole thing seemed unbelievable. A span of three nights had somehow fixed everything that had gone wrong in twenty years. How was it possible? Still, Blake was sitting across from her, pouring syrup over his waffles and smiling at her, his eyes alive. She felt like he was really looking at her.

When they were done they got in the car. Blake checked his map on his cell phone, and nodded.

“If all goes well we should be there in about six hours. If we can make better time with these construction works we might be there sooner.”

“That sounds good,” Madison said, stretching her arms up in the passenger seat. “I’ve had about enough of driving.”

Blake chuckled. “And then there’s the way back, too.”

“If all goes well we won’t need so many pit stops the second time round.”

They drove on in silence for a while. They hadn’t switched on the radio. Madison took it as a sign that they’d come to really enjoy each other’s company again.

Blake sighed. “How are we going to tell them?”

Madison stilled and looked at him. His eyes were firmly on the road.

“Tell them what?” she asked. Was she missing something?

“The kids. How are we going to tell them about the divorce?”

Madison felt the blood drain from her face. She grabbed onto the edge of her seat; she felt like she was losing her balance despite the fact that she was sitting down.

“I…” she swallowed hard so her voice would sound like she was in control. “I thought we weren’t going to do that anymore.” Her voice sounded strange to her, distant.

Blake glanced at her from the corner of his eye before he pulled his eyes back to the road.

“We can’t just change or minds like that. This is a big deal.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize this decision to get divorced in the first place was a lengthy process.”

Blake rolled his eyes. “Come on, you know what I mean.”

“Actually, I don’t. I get home after work one day and you’re telling you want a divorce. That was all I can remember about it. And now you’re telling me we’re still going through with it? After everything we’ve been through the past three days?”

“And what have we been through, Maddie?” The use of her nickname rippled through her with a shot. He hadn’t called her Maddie in years. She struggled to put the two together. He was telling her he wanted to get out of the relationship, and at the same time he was falling back on habits he’d had when they were still in love.

“I don’t know if you were present, but without me you would probably still have been lying there in the dirt. Or worse, you would have lashed out and someone and drawn blood. You can’t tell me your wolf isn’t getting to you.”

Blake’s face turned to stone. “Hey, I’m not the one that had an episode in the hospital because of some disease that’s actually pretty serious.”

“The only reason you weren’t in hospital is because I know how you feel about them, and how you’re too scared you’ll attack a nurse when you’re there. You forget that I know you a lot better than you think.” Madison’s hands were balled into fists and she felt tears prickling behind her eyes. She swallowed the lump that had risen in her throat.

“I don’t want to discuss this anymore,” Blake said after a moment’s silence, and switched on the radio. It was like the wall that they’d managed to crumble just the night before had slammed down between them, and she’d lost him again. How as it possible to gain someone back and then lose them again so quickly?

She let out a shaky breath and turned her face to the passing scenery, refusing to the look at the  man that would be the end of her.

The rest of the drive was strained and quiet. Neither of them acknowledged each other. Madison felt like she was going to implode. Everything that was left unsaid chewed at her, and it felt like Blake didn’t care at all. He sat next to her cold as a stone with no emotion. None of this seemed to bother him. Had she misread the trip? Had she misunderstood what had happened between them? Surely a night like they one before meant more than just a physical release?

Boston loomed on the horizon and the next moment they were between buildings, weaving their way through town. Blake had phoned ahead and told Lash what time to expect them. Emma would be there too, so they could break the news to them both in one go.

“Where do I have to turn?” Blake asked, leaning forward in his seat to squint at road names.

Madison pointed down a road and he took it.

“I don’t see how you can just throw all of this away,” she said softly.

“There isn’t a lot left to throw away. That’s the point I’m trying to make. We didn’t really leave a lot to salvage. This is for the best.”

“How can it be for the best when we’re not together? How are you this set on carrying on with the rest of your life alone? Has it really been that bad for you to be with me?”

Blake pulled up in front of the apartment building Lash had directed us to. He looked at Madison. The engine ticking was the only sound in the car.

“It hasn’t been that bad,” he started, and his voice was a lot softer than it was before. The hard front he kept up was beginning to crack.

“Then what?” Madison asked. She was panicking. She felt that if Blake opened the door and got out, that would be the end. They would do what they’d come to do in the first place. She couldn’t just let him go.

“Don’t do this,” she said, and she didn’t care anymore that her voice was pleading.

“It’s not about everything that passed,” Blake said, and his voice was throaty like he wanted to cry. “It’s about what’s coming. It’s going to be that bad for me to see you every day, and to know that you’re just beyond arm’s reach. You have been for so long, and it’s tearing me apart, Maddie. It’s killing me that I see you every day and I just can’t seem to reach you.”

Madison stared at Blake, mouth open. Did he really care that much?

“I love you, Blake. We can fix this. Just don’t walk out on us. Don’t leave me.”

Blake put his hand on the handle. This was it. This was the moment where their relationship with end. If he got out now…

But he didn’t. He took his way again, and reached over to Madison. He pulled her closer to him, and her body bent awkwardly over the gearshift and the handbrake.

“I just feel like I’ve lost you already, and I’m not coping with it,” Blake said into her shoulder. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“We just need to fix it again, Blake. We can do this. Stay with me.”

He was motionless for a second, and then he nodded, the movement a spark of electricity in her chest. She breathed out in a shudder, and tears rolled down her cheeks.

“I love you too,” Blake said as Lash appeared at the doors that led into the building. “I’ve always loved you. I want to make this work.”

Madison looked up at him her eyes bright and watery.

"You mean it? No divorce? No quit and run?"

Blake sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "No divorce, no quit and run. Things have been tough but I know we'll make it through. Besides what other woman would come running after me in the woods, her leg bleeding, falling over sticks and brush just to make sure I was ok and hadn't completely given over to my dark side?"

Madison smiled beneath her tears feeling a weight lifting off her chest.

"Let's go say hi to the kids."

"Yes, lets."

Blake grabbed her hand as they walked to the front of the building together.