Authors: Mary Tate Engels
After a quick shower Alex threw on some jeans and a shirt and joined her long-time friend Carol, in the kitchen.
"Well, I was beginning to think you were going to sleep all day
. You must be exhausted.
" Carol embraced her warmly.
"It's so good to see you and be back in familiar territory
.
Back in this country," Alex admitted with a smile.
"Have a cup
of coffee and a seat," Carol in
structed. "You have a lot of explaining to do, lady
.
"
"I swear, Carol, you have the most marvelous bed in the world
.
And the most generous spirit
.
" Alex poured herself a cup of coffee, climbed onto a curved bamboo stool, and leaned on the counter bar that separated the small kitchen from the dining area. "How can I ever thank you?"
Carol shrugged and smiled. "What else could I do, when my dearest friend appears at my doorstep, looking like some bedraggled waif? You must have been absolutely beat, Alex
.
You fell asleep before I could give you the bowl of soup and glass of wine you requested."
"Did I? I don't even remember."
"There wasn't much conversation last night. How about a grilled cheese sandwich? I'm in the process of fixing myself one for lunch." Carol flipped the browned sandwich that
si
zzled in a skillet.
"Is it lunch time already? I did hibernate, didn't I? It's been a long time
si
nce I've had a plain cheese sandwich, without corn tortillas on the
si
de
.
" Alex chuckled and
si
pped at her cof
fee. "Matter of fact, a good ol
d
American grilled cheese sandwich sounds great
.
I may even give in to
French
fries later today. It's been ages
si
nce I've had them."
"I con
si
dered fixing enchiladas to make you feel at home."
"No, thanks
.
"
Alex laughed. "I've had my fill of Mexican food for a while."
"Does that mean you're here to stay?" Carol lifted her eyebrows.
"Um-hum. The job's over for good."
"What about Jenni?"
"No luck there, either." Alex shook her head. "Oh, it's a long story, Carol."
"And I want
to hear every word, but I'm puz
zled. Your last letter said you weren't leaving Mexico until you and this Nick—" Carol halted with a small laugh. "I'm getting ahead, aren't I? Far be it from me to rush you Alex, but I am dying to know what happened. Have some more coffee, eat a little
, then tell me everything, star
t
ing with that . . . that strange-looking van
with Mexican license
in my driveway
.
"
Alex laughed
. “That old
half-rusted gray van
has taken me far – across the desert and back. It’s a workhorse.”
"
I think you’re damn lucky
."
"It moves," Alex avowed with a touc
h of re
spect. "It broug
ht me all the way from Hermo
si
llo, Mexico. Via Jessup, Arizona."
Carol frowned and set a steaming grilled cheese sandwich before Alex. "Jessup? Are you crazy? That's a little out of your way, isn't it?"
"By a few hundred miles." A
lex smiled rue
fully. "I drove all night. You won't believe what yesterday was like."
"Try me," Carol advised with a wry smile.
"I've known you a long time, Alex Julian, and I know you're capable of most anything you set your head to.
So, what’s up?
"
With small moments of loving laughter to punctuate the piercing emotion, Alex related her entire story. When she'd finished, Carol said, "Alex, forgive me, but what you did in Jessup is one of the dumbest things you've ever done
.
Do you know how dangerous that was? Why, they could have done anything to you, dumped you off in the desert, and no one would have known to look for you
.
Nobody knew where you were
.
"
"Yep, I know. But Carol, try to understand my desperation. I was so close to finding her too."
"I'm trying to understand that, but you can't throw away all caution in order to accomplish this. Why, I'm surprised at you. You've never been so—"
"Daring?" Alex finished dryly.
"Yes
. And
reckless."
"Well, I was desperate
to find her
, Carol.
I lied to find out the information I needed, and I would have gladly paid any fee they set if Jenni had been there. I would've paid it and walked away and never breathed a word to anyone about their illegal activities. That's how desperate I was— still am, I guess." She paused to let out a long
si
gh. "Are you shocked that I would say such a thing?"
"Yes," Carol conceded. "I understood that you had hired someone to find Jenni. Someone to take these personal risks for you."
"Nick? Ha! He has his own illegal games to play
.
"
"Alex, I thought—"
"Well, you thought wrong
.
" Alex responded irritably. She rose and paced the floor, talking as she went. "Nick is too busy to care about us. He has some kind of operation in Mexico involving a helicopter and hauling strange cargoes around. Illegal contraband is his game. Lots of money in that one. Oh, for a while he was interested in finding Jenni for me, but now I realize that he was only interested in me."
"Is that so bad?"
"Yes, because Jenni is very important to me. At the end, Nick a
nd his partner went rushing off
in the middle of the night, right when we were waiting to hear news of Jenni being transported across the border
.
The man accused of taking her told the police they were heading for Jessup. But would Nick fly me up there? Hell, no! He had other bu
si
ness. That's why I left
—because Nick wouldn't help any
more."
"What were hi
s reasons for not flying to Jes
sup?"
Alex shrugged. "He said we couldn't find her, that it was better to wait until the Customs agents called, saying they had her in custody. He kept talking about the chain of connections and a ring and going all the way to the end. I knew if we did that, we'd lose track of her in the States. And see?
I’m afraid s
he's already gone
.
God only knows where Jenni is at this moment
.
"
Carol poured them more coffee and asked
thoughtfully, "Is it pos
si
ble that Nick was right? After all, you didn't find her in Jessup."
"No, he— Oh, I don't know
.
I don't know who's right
.
And at this point I don't care. I just know he refused to help anymore."
"Alex, sometimes it's best to wait things out."
"Are you d
efending Nick?" Alex snapped in
credulously. "You don't know anything about this."
"No. I'm just trying to look at it from all angles, as an observer. He had to have reasons for his deci
si
ons."
"He did? Well, let me give them to you
.
" Alex pressed her fist a
gainst her mouth for a long min
ute, feeling the pain all the way to her heart. Her words, though, were bitter.
"What we had in Mexico was a fling, an affair. Just as
si
mple as that. Only I—stupid fool that I am—I fell head over heels in love with him
.
So you were right about that, Carol. But I made the fatal mistake of telling him I was in love. When I did that, whatever we had fell apart. Scared him off
, no doubt
. Plus, he stopped looking for Jenni. I should have kept my mouth shut.
Obviously I'm no good at these games. When I go to bed with someone, I'm serious about him, and when I'm in love with someone, I tell him."
"Do you still feel that way?"
Alex smiled sadly. "Do I still love him? Of course. One miserable day can't change that. But I realize now that it's completely one-
si
ded. Don't they say there's a thin line between loving
and hating? Maybe I'll slip over that line one day. It'll make it ea
si
er."
"Do you know he doesn't love you?"
Alex nodded
si
lently. "A man like Nick—a man for hire—can't love."
"I wish you'd give yourself some time to think about this. Now is not a good time to make sweeping statements, especially about love. You're still too distraught over Jenni and all you've been through in the last twenty-four hours."
"I don't need more time for Nick but I feel that I'm running out of time for Jenni." She paced again, pau
si
ng to take a deep breath and think. "All right, so I messed up the relationship with Nick. Assuming he was right, maybe he knew what he was talking about when he wanted me to wait for Jenni to be found. And I've screwed that up too."
"He may be tracing her down right now, Alex."
"Boy, you're sure giving him a lot of credit, Carol. You just don't seem to understand. Nick was only looking for Jenni as a way to get to me. He's actually involved in some type of criminal activity.
I haven’t figured it all out, but it seems illegal to me.
"
"I
si
mply find it hard to believe you'd become entangled with someone like that, Alex. Tell me more about this Nick."
"Well, he's tall, a little too rugged to be called handsome. Dark hair and mu
stache. He has a wonderful take
-
charge attitude that appealed to me in the beginning. I thought he would find
Jenni when the police failed. I believed he could do anything. Foolish notion. Too idealistic."
"You needed help," Carol added, "and had to have confidence in someone. I can understand that."
"Nick and
Jose
, his partner, make quite a pair," Alex vo
lunteered with a shy smile. "Be
tween the two of them, you would think they could accomplish anything
.
Jose
is shorter but built like a brick wall. He has a fabulous Pancho Villa
mustache, out to here." She mo
tioned to each
si
de of her face. "And curly on the tips. They remind me of two black panthers on the prowl. Dangerous."
Carol observed the hint of admiration in Alex's voice whenever she spoke of Nick. She obviously had strong feelings for the man but whether they were love, Carol wasn't sure. "I wouldn't give up on Nick yet, Alex.
You still have to go back some
time and move your things out of his apartment. Maybe you could talk to him then. Get some answers to your questions about his activities."
Alex shook her head stubbornly. "I'll be better off never seeing Nick Diamond again, and I'm afraid I'll never se
e Jenni, either. My one consola
tion is that Margaret Hannah, the woman who keeps the babies in Jessup said Jenni would be sent to a good home. She'll be loved—" Alex halted, a catch in her voice at the thought.
"Now you're talking like you're defeated
.
"
"Well?" Alex shrugged. "I've lost them both. I don't know where to tu
rn. I've reached a dead-
end, Carol."
"Sometimes what looks like the end is really the beginning, Alex. Don't give up yet. There is someone here in Phoenix who is in a po
si
tion to help you. He works for the governor's office now and would be perfectly delighted to as
si
st you in any way he could. He knows a lot of people, has lots of connections."
Alex's eyes widened. "Not Jack Kingsley!"
"Yes, Jack. He would like nothing better than to help you, Alex."
"Oh, no he wouldn't, Carol
.
He came to see me in Mexico and I, well . . . let's just say I sent him away angry. Uh-uh! I couldn't pos
si
bly!"
"Then you're a fool." Carol folded her arms and spoke candidly. "Jack could help you. He has the in
si
de track on details that most people never know. Including crime."
"I
don’t know
, Carol
.
"