Rogue (31 page)

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Authors: Julie Kagawa

BOOK: Rogue
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Ember

I lowered my arm, feeling my heart pound, my emotions raging everywhere all at once. Riley was okay; I couldn’t express how relieved I was to hear his voice, to know he was alive. The past few hours had been a nightmare; I hadn’t even realized how much Riley meant to me until he was gone.

And my dragon, surging like molten lava through my veins, was acutely aware of Riley’s promise, was relishing it, even. She couldn’t wait to see him again. She recognized her other half, had always recognized it. Cobalt called to her. She felt the other dragon’s pull as surely as I felt the need to fly or sleep or breathe. And Riley wasn’t holding back anymore.

So what was holding
me
back?

“We should move.” Garret’s voice echoed at my side. I glanced up and found him watching me, his face shut into that blank, expressionless mask that made my insides shrink. “Talon is probably aware by now that their ambush failed,” he went on, gesturing to the carnage around us. “If they aren’t, they’ll find out very shortly. We should leave the premises before they send in the cleanup crew.”

“Right.” I nodded and pushed myself off the crate stack, but pain shot up my leg and I nearly fell, barely catching myself on the edge. “Ow. Dammit. Ow.”

“Are you all right?” Garret hovered at my side, his remote expression cracking a little with worry. I waved him off.

“I’m fine.” I took another step, clenching my teeth as my leg, back, ribs and shoulder throbbed. I didn’t know if it was from dragon claws, or just general aches and bruises from my fight with the Viper, but dammit I was sore. Of course, the stupid magic Viper suit didn’t show rips or tears, so I couldn’t even see how bad the wounds were. “Right behind you,” I gritted out, wishing I could Shift to my real form again. The human body didn’t deal with pain as well as a dragon’s. “Just moving…a little slower than normal. Keep going.”

Garret hesitated, then stepped beside me, putting a hand on my back. Surprised, I glanced at him as he bent, scooped an arm under my knees and lifted me off my feet. I gasped, wincing as the motion tore at the open wounds beneath my suit, but then he shifted me gently in his arms, and the pain receded.

“Garret.” My heart pounded, my stomach tying itself into knots at being so close. I put a hand on his chest, feeling his own heart thudding beneath my palm. “You don’t have to do this,” I said, torn between exhilaration and embarrassment. “I’ll be okay…”

I trailed off at the look he gave me. Sorrow, regret and longing glimmered in his eyes for just a moment, before they blinked and became remote once more. “Let me do this one last thing,” Garret said quietly, and offered a faint smile when I frowned in confusion. “You carried me to safety once. Now it’s my turn.”

He sounded sad for some reason. Like this was the last thing he would do for me. Wanting to ease the tension, I looped an arm around his neck and smiled. “You know, if you really wanted to impress, I could Shift right now and you could carry me out like that.”

The corner of his mouth twitched. “Somehow, I don’t think I’d get very far. Riley would walk in and see a dragon lying on top of a crushed soldier. He’d probably take a picture to remember it, always.”

I chuckled, feeling some of the awkwardness subside. A soldier of St. George carrying a dragon to safety—what was next? Sighing, I leaned my head on his chest, as Garret walked easily through the maze with me in his arms. His heart beat steady and sure against my ear, and I relaxed. We were okay, all of us. St. George had come for us, and we’d survived. Talon had sent two deadly double agents to force me back to the organization, and I was still here. Riley was alive. Garret was alive. We’d taken the worst Talon and the Order could throw at us and had come out on top.

But the casualties were high, even if they weren’t on our side. I didn’t have to look up to see the dozen or so Talon agents, sprawled throughout the warehouse. More dead humans than I’d seen in a lifetime. Dead humans that would probably show up in my dreams for weeks to come. And of course, somewhere in that mess of blood and darkness was the lifeless body of a purple dragon. A girl who, at one time, had been just like me.

Anger burned, and shockingly, I felt my eyes stinging. It was a waste. Such an awful, stupid waste, and for what? Faith didn’t have to die. Talon didn’t have to send her. Why couldn’t they just leave us alone? Why was it so important that I return to the organization? Now a hatchling and a dozen humans were dead, because someone in Talon had ordered my assassination…

“Garret,” I whispered, clenching a fist in his shirt, “wait!”

He stopped and gave me a puzzled look. We were almost to the exit; I could see the open door to the rail yard dead ahead. Riley and Wes would be here soon, and we had to get out of here before Talon, the Order or the authorities showed up. But something still nagged at me, and if I didn’t resolve it now, I’d drive myself crazy wondering.

“I have to go back,” I told Garret, whose puzzled look deepened to a frown. “You don’t have to come. Put me down and go wait for Riley if you want. But I have to go back. There’s something important I forgot to do.”

 

Dante

She should have called by now.

The clock on the wall was too loud, every ticking second like a miniature drill in my brain. The senior dragons did nothing, said nothing, sitting around the table with the patience of mountains, their blank eyes on me. Occasionally, they would speak to me, or each other, their voices cool and remote, but for the most part, they waited, silent and unmoving. I mimicked their positions, trying to remain calm and patient, staring at my folded hands until the image was seared into my retinas.

The phone buzzed on the table.

I jolted in my seat like I’d been stung. Without waiting for Roth’s approval, I snatched it up and put it to my ear, my voice low and grave.

“Faith? Is it done?”

“It’s not Faith.”

I froze. The room froze. I sat rigid in my chair, the eyes of four senior dragons on me, as
her
voice echoed in my ear, low and unmistakable. They couldn’t hear the conversation, but from the looks I was getting, it was clear they knew something wasn’t right. Heart pounding, I closed my eyes, knowing it was useless to hide it.

“Ember,” I said, and felt the attention in the room sharpen to a razor’s edge. I swallowed hard and forced myself to speak calmly. Maybe I could salvage what was left of this assignment. “Where are you?”

“I think you already know that, Dante.” Ember’s voice was icy. She’d spoken to me that way only a couple times in her life, and I had painful memories of one, and a tiny scar from the other. “Considering you were the one who set this up.”

The weight of the combined stares was becoming unbearable, four senior dragons pinning me with hard, intense eyes. “Where is Faith?” I asked.

A heartbeat of silence. “She’s dead.”

The ground dropped out from under me. I sat there, unable to believe what I’d just heard. I’d always known Ember was rebellious, reckless and stubborn, but I’d never thought her capable of this. “She’s dead?” I choked in disbelief. “You killed her?”

“I didn’t kill her.”

“The soldier, then,” I guessed. “St. George. You’re with him now, aren’t you? And you let him kill her.” There was no answer on the other side, and my voice hardened. “How could you let him do that?”

“You’ve got some nerve asking me that,” Ember hissed. And though she sounded furious, her voice cracked on the last word. “Don’t play innocent with me, Dante. You were the one who sent her, after all. You set this whole thing up, didn’t you?”

“Yes,” I admitted, not knowing where this absolute rage was coming from. “I did. To bring you back. You belong here, Ember. You belong with Talon.” There was a squeak, as someone in the room rose from their chair, but I barely heard it. “I’m trying to keep you safe,” I said, suddenly furious myself. “I’m trying to make a future for both of us, but you insist on tearing it down! I can’t believe you let that human kill Faith, just because you didn’t want to come back. What is wrong with you!”

I was almost shouting into the phone now, and a second later, it was smoothly plucked from my grasp by Mr. Roth, who gave me a blank, chilling smile before putting it to his ear.

“Ms. Hill,” he said cordially, “this is Adam Roth, senior vice president of Talon’s western operations. How are you tonight?” He paused, smiling faintly, his sharp face giving nothing away. “Well, I’m sure you don’t mean that literally.”

I buried my head in my hands, raking my fingers through my hair, not caring how it made me look. I could only imagine what Ember was saying to Talon’s senior vice president. My stomach turned, shocked at how badly this had turned out. Faith was dead. Where was Mist? I wondered. Had she been killed, too? The two hatchlings had been our best bet to find Ember and the rogue; as the newest agents of Talon, they wouldn’t be recognized by Cobalt or his network, so they’d be able to get close without arousing suspicion. Originally, I’d wanted Mist to talk to Ember, convince her to come back, but she’d later informed me that Talon had other plans for her. I’d been annoyed—this was my operation, after all, and Mr. Roth had put me in charge. But then I’d spoken to the second agent, Faith, who’d assured me that she would bring Ember safely back to the fold. Before talking to her, I’d had serious doubts that the quiet, delicate-looking girl was a good fit for this assignment. Cobalt was a dangerous rogue, and calling Ember stubborn was putting it mildly. But it took only a few minutes of discussion to know that Faith was more than she seemed. And when she’d told me she would get the job done, I believed her, though I had made it clear that she was not to harm my sister in any way.

“Bring Ember back to Talon,” I’d told her. “Use everything at your disposal to convince her to return, but do
not
hurt her. If she refuses to come back, do what you must. But I want my sister returned alive and safe. Do you understand?”

“Of course, sir.” Faith had smiled at me, confident and professional. “Your sister will not be harmed in any way. I will make certain of it.”

And now she was dead. Faith was
dead
. Because I had sent her after my wayward twin, and Ember had let her be killed rather than return to the organization. How had this happened? How could she have resorted to that, after everything we’d gone through together? Apparently, I didn’t know my sister at all.

And now, because of her, I had failed. I had failed Talon.

My hands shook, and I flattened them on the tabletop, trying to steady myself. Above me, Mr. Roth continued with polite coolness. “I’m afraid I cannot tell you that, Ms. Hill,” he said evenly. “If you wish that information, you must return to the organization.” Pause. “No, Mr. Hill is in no danger. He is a valued member of Talon, and we appreciate his cooperation.” Pause. “No, our policy on rogues is very clear. Cobalt is a criminal who has caused irreversible harm to the organization. We must protect ourselves from his extremist views.” One last, lengthy pause, and Mr. Roth’s voice grew hard. “I’m sorry you feel that way. But if you would only agree to return and speak with us, you would see that…”

He trailed off, lowering his arm. “Well. It appears Ms. Hill will not be joining us tonight.” Turning, he rested his fingertips against the table and spoke to the rest of the room. “We will adjourn for now, until we can come up with a new strategy to retrieve Ms. Hill and deal with Cobalt. As Ms. Anderson has not yet reported in, perhaps she will give us better news. But it can wait until tomorrow.” He looked over the table with cold black eyes. “Dismissed.”

Everyone rose at once, keeping their eyes downcast as they began to exit the room. I stood as well, but suddenly Mr. Roth’s long steely fingers gripped my shoulder, making me freeze.

“Mr. Hill. You will come with me.”

 

Ember

“Only you, Firebrand.” Riley sighed.

I grimaced at him over the table, where an open first-aid kit, bandages, burn cream and disinfectant wipes sat scattered between us. My Viper suit lay discarded on the bathroom floor of the hotel room, replaced with shorts and a loose top that didn’t rub against my skin. Riley leaned forward in his chair, winding the last of the gauze around my arm. His long fingers occasionally brushed my hand, sending a pulse of heat up my arm every single time. Garret had left the room a few minutes ago, saying nothing as he slipped out the door, presumably to stand guard or check the parking lot for “suspicious people,” leaving me and Riley alone.

Well, alone except for Wes.

“There.” Fastening the gauze, Riley looked up with a rueful smile, shaking his head. A bandage square covered my left cheek, right below my eye, and it felt weird and tight against my skin. “Don’t pick at the bandages, Firebrand,” Riley ordered. “Hopefully those will heal in a day or two, though this is the first time I’ve had to treat another dragon for burns. Like I said, you are one of a kind.”

“Thank God,” Wes muttered from the bed, laptop perched on his knees. I ignored him, which was getting harder to do in the tiny room. After meeting Riley and Wes in front of the rail yard, we’d fled downtown Vegas and the Strip, putting as much distance between us and the massive glittering casinos as we could. This tiny hotel on the outskirts of town had more roaches than slot machines, and the four of us were currently packed into one room like sardines in a can, but Riley wasn’t planning to stay long. According to Wes, there was a used-car lot two blocks down that would sell you anything, no credit history, no questions asked, and Riley planned to be there as soon as it opened in a few hours. I had no idea where we were going, but I knew Riley was in a hurry to leave Vegas. And after tonight, I was more than happy to say goodbye, too. Goodbye to the City of Sin. Goodbye to Talon and the Order…and Dante.

A lump caught in my throat, and I swallowed it with a growl. I refused to mourn my traitor brother, no matter how sick it made me feel. Dante was part of Talon now. Part of the organization that wanted me dead. He’d sent a Viper after me and a Basilisk after Riley, with orders to kill us both. I didn’t know him anymore. Riley had been right all along.

“There.” Wes tapped a final key and looked up. “I’ve sent instructions to all our nests, telling them to relocate immediately and not contact anyone until they’ve heard from you. They’re on emergency evacuation until further notice.”

“Good.” Riley stood up, wiping his hands. “Hopefully that will buy us, and them, some time until we can figure this out. See if we can’t find who the hell is leaking information to the organization and shut them up for good. If Talon wants to kill us, I’m not going to make it easy for them.”

I was only half listening, still brooding over Talon and Dante and the whole screwed-up situation, so a gentle touch on my shoulder surprised me. I glanced up into Riley’s intense golden eyes.

“Firebrand? You okay? Are you in any pain?”

“No,” I whispered, as the now-familiar heat surged up again, pushing me toward him. Gingerly, I stood, testing my range of motion. My various cuts and burns throbbed, but they were slowly going numb with salve and painkillers. The real hurt wasn’t physical, and no amount of aspirin would make it go away. “Just…thinking about Talon,” I told Riley, who hadn’t taken his eyes from me, “and St. George and what a bastard my brother is. You can go ahead and say
I told you so
—”

Riley stepped close and very carefully pulled me into his arms, making me freeze in shock.

“I’m sorry about Dante,” he murmured, keeping one hand on my waist, the other in my hair, avoiding my many bandages. My cheek was pressed to his shirt; I could feel the heat of his skin through the fabric, his voice rumbling in my ear. “I wish we could have taken him, too. But he made his choice, Firebrand. And now you have to make yours. Are you still going to stand with me, against Talon? Even though you might be fighting your brother again one day?”

Putting my hands on his arms, I pulled back to face not Riley but Cobalt peering down at me. The human veneer was still there, still in place, but the dark blue dragon stared out through human eyes, ghostly wings outstretched, casting us both in their shadow. I swallowed hard to keep my own wings from breaking free. “Why now?” I whispered.

“I told you, I’m done fighting this,” Cobalt rumbled, and one hand was suddenly against my cheek, hot and searing. “I almost lost you today. I won’t make that mistake again.” His fingers traced my skin, brushing my hair back, and I shivered. “You don’t have to make a decision tonight,” Cobalt said. “I have time.” The corner of his mouth quirked, and he stepped back, looking more like Riley. “I’m a dragon, after all.”

“Bloody hell.” Wes’s disgusted voice rose up from the corner. “Will the pair of you please stop before I yark all over the room? Riley, you might want to come see this.”

Rolling his eyes, Riley pulled away. I stood there, watching them for a moment, my heart thudding in my chest and my dragon surging beneath my skin. The temperature in the room was suddenly too hot, stifling, and the walls seemed too close. I had to get some air.

With one last look at Wes and Riley, still deep in conversation, I slipped out the door into the warmth of the night. I told myself I needed to be alone, to clear my head, but that was a lie. And I didn’t have to search far. A lean, pale form stood in the outdoor hall with his elbows against the railing, gazing out over the parking lot. I started toward him, but as I did, my steps faltered and I hesitated, suddenly torn between saying something and going back inside. Why was I afraid? This was Garret.

Swallowing, I forced myself to move, knowing he’d heard me come out. “Hey, you,” I greeted as the door clicked behind me. I kept my voice light, a stark contrast to the uncertainty within. “Spot any ninjas yet? Maybe a secret agent hiding in the cactus?”

“No,” he said quietly, still watching the pink glow over the horizon. “But there is a suspicious-looking bench near the parking lot that I’m keeping an eye on. Just in case.”

Smiling, I joined him at the railing and mimicked his pose, and we stared at the distant mountains for several heartbeats. In this quiet moment before dawn, the world was silent, peaceful. I wished I could feel the same, but the raging storm of questions inside made that impossible. I wondered where we would go next. I wondered where Dante was, what he was doing, what he was planning now. I wondered if there would come a time when I could stop running. If someday Talon and St. George would just stop killing each other, if the war would ever cease.

“Ember.”

Garret’s voice, soft and hesitant, broke the predawn stillness. He kept his gaze on the horizon, but his whole posture was stiff, tense. “You never answered me last night.”

My stomach turned inside out, and everything around us froze. Garret straightened and turned, keeping one hand on the railing, to face me, metallic gaze burning the side of my head. A little flutter of panic bloomed inside. I kept my gaze on a distant street lamp, watching it flicker against the coming dawn, and felt the silence stretch between us, brittle and terrifying. My heart pounded, screaming at me to say something, to give him the words he was waiting for. But I didn’t know if I could…feel like that. When I was with him, I was happy. When we touched, my heart beat faster and my stomach did crazy cartwheels. When we were apart, I thought of him constantly, and when we were together, I was content. But I didn’t know if that was love.

And how could I love him, when a part of me longed for Cobalt, standing in the very next room?

“What do you want me to say, Garret?” I whispered at last.

Garret didn’t answer for a moment, then took a quiet breath, as if bracing himself. “I just want the truth,” he said, and his voice wasn’t angry or cold or demanding, just resigned. Sad. “I have never felt…anything like this. And I know that I’m the last person in the world that deserves it, but…I meant it when I said that I’m in love with you.” His voice wavered on the last sentence, then grew stronger, almost defiant. “I love you, Ember,” he said again, and I closed my eyes. “I’m not ashamed, and I’m not afraid of what it means. But I…I need to know if you feel the same.”

He was putting all his cards on the table, leaving himself wide-open, and I was probably going to rip his heart out. I wanted to tell him. I wanted to say I felt the same, but at the same time, I didn’t want to lie to him. My emotions were a chaotic swirl of confusion and doubt. Garret. Cobalt. Longing. Love. Which was stronger? How did people even know if they were in love?

“Garret,” I stammered miserably, “I…I don’t know. I’m not human. I don’t even know if we’re capable of…those kinds of feelings.”

“I don’t believe that,” Garret said. “I might have once, but not anymore. I’ve seen you, Ember. From the very first day we met in Crescent Beach, I’ve watched you. You’ve made friends and formed attachments, and you miss them, even now. You’re angry at your brother because he chose Talon over you. You refused to be what your trainer wanted, a Viper that kills without emotion. You’re the one who taught me that dragons aren’t really that different than us, and I abandoned everything I believed in because of you.” He paused then, his voice becoming quietly desperate. “Don’t tell me you’re not capable of it,” he almost whispered. “What’s really holding you back?”

I sighed and looked up at him, finally admitting the truth to us both. “Riley.”

He didn’t look surprised. He just nodded once, slowly, as if I’d confirmed what he’d always suspected. I finally turned to face him head-on, needing him to understand. “Garret…I like you. I really do. When I’m with you…I feel more human than I have in my entire life. I don’t know if I’m supposed to feel that way, and I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing, but at this point, I really don’t care. I want to be with you. Sometimes…sometimes I wish that I wasn’t a dragon, so we could be normal together.” I gave a tiny, bitter chuckle. “Of course, if I was human, we would’ve never met, so it’s kind of a catch-22, isn’t it?”

Garret didn’t reply. He still watched me, those solemn gray eyes making me want to drop my gaze and hide. I stifled the impulse and continued to face him.

“But,” I went on, “I can’t ignore what I feel for Riley. And I don’t want to lie, to either of you. I honestly don’t know what’s going on between the three of us, and until I’m sure… I can’t give you a real answer. I’m sorry, Garret.” I couldn’t take the way he was looking at me any longer, and I turned away. “I think…I need some time to figure this out.”

“All right.” His voice surprised me. I was expecting anger, contempt, accusations for leading him on, not this quiet resolve. “Then I guess that makes this easy.”

I looked back at him quickly. “Makes what easy?”

This time he turned away. Only then did I notice the backpack, propped beside the door, already packed, and everything went cold inside me. “You’re leaving?”

“There’s no reason for me to stay.” Garret’s voice was calm as he swung the pack to his shoulder. “I’ve paid my debt, to you and Riley at least. And it’s not safe for me to stick around. Sooner or later, St. George will come after me again. Better if I’m far away when that happens.”

“Where will you go?”

“I don’t know yet.” He glanced back at me, eyes shadowed. “England, maybe, if I can get there. Something is wrong in the Order—that ambush with Mist and Faith wasn’t a coincidence. St. George knew we were coming, and I don’t like what that implies.” His gaze narrowed, expression going dark. “If there is a connection between Talon and the Order, it will change everything St. George has believed for hundreds of years. Everything we thought we knew will be a deception. Now that I’ve seen both sides, I need to know if there’s something more to this war than either faction is letting on.” He sighed, and for the first time a shadow of doubt crossed his face. “I hope I’m wrong,” he murmured. “But I have to be sure.” One last pause, barely a heartbeat, one last chance to tell him to stay, before he stepped back. “Goodbye, Ember,” he said, as something shattered inside me. “Thank you…for everything.” And he walked away.

“Garret, wait.”

He turned around, eyes widening with surprise, as I flung myself against him, wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. His arms circled my waist, pressing us together, as I buried my fingers in his hair. He groaned, backing me into a pillar, his mouth at my jaw, my neck, searing a path down my skin. Our lips met again, hungry and eager, sending the pit of my stomach into a wild swirl. A low growl escaped me as I locked my body to his, wanting to feel him with my entire being.

Abruptly, Garret pulled back, breaking the kiss, and set me gently on my feet. I glanced into his eyes and saw the confusion, the uncertainty and the wary hope shining through, and my heart stuttered. The soldier watched me a moment longer, then closed his eyes.

“Tell me to stay,” he whispered, his voice a low, husky rasp, “and I will.”

Cold flooded my body. I took a breath to answer…and nothing came out. I knew the words that would convince him…but I couldn’t say them, even now. Especially now. That would be even more cruel on my part, telling him what he needed to hear, just to get him to stay with me, when I wasn’t certain myself.

Sickened, I drew back, sliding from Garret’s arms. He opened his eyes but didn’t move, watching as I backed away from him. The look on his face was devastating, but only for a moment. Then that blank, remote soldier’s mask slipped into place, his eyes turning cold and flat.

Spinning on a heel, he walked away again, and this time his stride was confident and sure. I watched, heart in my throat, until he hit the stairs on the other side and started down, not looking back once.

And then he was gone.

I swallowed, blinked rapidly until the stinging in my eyes went away and went back into the room.

Riley and Wes were still at the computer, but they had moved to the table now, with Riley standing behind the chair as the human hunched over the screen. Wes didn’t move, but Riley looked up as I came in and leaned against the door, still coming to grips with the fact that Garret was really gone forever.

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