Rodeo Bride (13 page)

Colleen could barely bear to move on to the next thought, but…if Lisa truly didn’t mind this wet and crying baby and opened her heart to him, maybe Dillon would eventually have to let Lisa into Toby’s circle. He’d said that he would allow it if Lisa truly wanted it.
Did
she really want Toby?
Had
she missed her baby at all? A part of Colleen knew that she should want Lisa to love Toby. For the baby’s sake, she tried to be open-minded, even though in her heart of hearts, it hurt to even try. And she prayed that Dillon would not hate her for having handed his son over to Lisa.

Toby howled. Lisa held him at arm’s length. “You’re very pretty, aren’t you?” she asked.

Those apparently weren’t the words he needed to hear.
Her tone was strained. If she’d only pull him in and hug him, rock him the way Dillon had on that first day…

“He’s still tired,” Dillon said angrily, and he started to move forward.

Colleen looked into his eyes.
Stop. Not yet,
she wanted to say.

Her expression must have told him something. He stopped.

“I probably shouldn’t have been so…so insistent that you wake him from his nap,” Lisa said. “But I was so eager to see him. I’ve missed him so much. We’ll…he and I will get to know each other better when he’s rested. I’ll come back another day. I guarantee it. I so want to be a family with him.” She said all of this to Dillon. She widened her eyes; she softened her voice. And all the time she was doing this, Toby had gotten louder and louder.

That could have been because Colleen was looking at him and standing just out of reach. Maybe. He sounded so pitiful. His tears were breaking Colleen’s heart.
I’m so sorry, sweetheart,
she wanted to say. And she was.

The louder he got, the stiffer Lisa became. Whether she realized it or not, she was inching him farther away from her body.

“Mommy will be back when you’re not so sleepy, bunny-kins,” she told Toby. And then without even looking at Colleen, she held him out.

Colleen whisked him into the next room.

“Just a few more seconds,” she whispered to Toby, listening as Lisa’s voice continued to murmur something to Dillon. It wasn’t until Colleen heard the sound of the door clicking shut that Colleen pulled Toby to her.

“I’m never doing that to you again,” she promised, rocking him and cuddling him. “Waking you up from a sound sleep—not even giving you a chance to adjust or get a dry diaper. I would never want to hurt you.”

She kissed him again, she swayed with him and murmured to him.

His tears began to stop and she quickly got him out of the wet diaper and into a dry one, then cuddled him close again. When she turned, Dillon was standing in the doorway, staring at her.

“I’m sorry,” she said, “but I was afraid that with both of us questioning and criticizing her, she might do something drastic, so I had to make sure of her true feelings for Toby. After all, she’s his
mother
. I know it was wrong to make her look bad to her baby.”

Dillon was shaking his head. “Genetics doesn’t make a person a parent. I know that all too well. My parents were totally ill-prepared to love a child.”

“She might get better at it.”

“I’m sure she could, if she wants to. In spite of the fact that I hated her coming in here and just assuming I would turn him over to her after she’s ignored him for months, I’ll make a place for her in his life if she really wants to try.”

Colleen nodded. “That’s only right. I probably should have warmed him up for her a bit.”

He gave her a funny smile. “She didn’t warm him up for you a bit when she thrust him into your life. Somehow I doubt you complained or ran out the door, saying that you’d be back later when he was behaving more pleasantly.”

“That’s because…”

I loved him from the start,
she started to say, but that would just complicate things. Instead, Colleen merely shrugged.

Suddenly Toby laughed.

“Does that mean you’re ready to go see the town?” Dillon asked.

And as always, Toby looked at his father as if totally entranced by his voice. As usual, he gurgled and cooed in response to the sound.

“All right, then, let’s show Colleen what Chi-town’s all about.”

They dressed Toby and put him in his stroller and went out into the city. Dillon showed his son and Colleen the sights he had already mentioned, and she discovered that he had a genuine affection for the city that couldn’t be faked.

“You love it here.”

“It’s busy and bustling. A city that works and lives and breathes, night and day. It’s the heartland. Chicago was built and then burned to the ground, and its citizens put their heads down and built it again. People work hard here and they play hard. It has grit and beauty all rolled into one.”

“And a lake,” she added.

“A magnificent lake,” he agreed. “I’ll show you that tomorrow.”

And he did. For the next few days, when Dillon wasn’t consulting with his assistants on projects they had in the works, when he wasn’t visiting job sites and getting back into the swing of the city, he took Colleen and Toby everywhere, or as much as he could in a city this size.

And Lisa didn’t call.

But they both knew she would, eventually. Dillon began to hear rumors, delivered by friends, that Lisa was embracing the prospect of motherhood. She was buying baby clothes and toys.

Maybe she really did want to be Toby’s mother.

Colleen fretted and worried and hoped that whatever Lisa wanted, her wishes wouldn’t hurt Toby and Dillon. She tried to hope that Lisa meant what she was saying, because that would be good for Toby.

Even though her heart felt heavy at the prospect, her heart couldn’t matter. She wasn’t the important person here.

Then, three days after they arrived, Dillon came to her. “I have a dinner tonight.” He was staring directly into her eyes, looking apologetic.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be fine here with Toby,” she told him.

“Colleen, I want you to come with me. I need you to.”

“But Toby…”

He cleared his throat. “Taken care of. Millie is on her way here right now. Her plane lands in ten minutes. I have a limo picking her up. Toby will have a loving babysitter.”

Colleen blinked. She didn’t know what to say, to think. “You could have asked me.”

“I know we discussed the reasons you might need to play dress-up back in Montana, but I also know that while the real scary stuff in life doesn’t faze you, big social events make you tremble a little. I was afraid you’d make some silly excuse about how you wouldn’t fit in with my business associates and friends at a formal party.”

“Formal?”

“A bit.”

Since she had been on the verge of trying to make an excuse about how she wouldn’t fit in
before
she heard about the formal part, she was doubly nervous now.

“Dillon…”

“Colleen, all my friends want to meet you. They’ve been waiting. Begging me. They’re almost as bad as Harve was about the Ferrari. They’re dying to meet this paragon I’ve been talking about.”

“Me? A paragon?”

“And an Amazon. And a woman who made my child feel loved the first few months of his life. Jace, my assistant, especially wants to meet you. He hopes you’ll wear your red cowgirl boots.”

“He did
not
say that.”

“Cross my heart. And he’s going to be terribly disappointed if you don’t show up.”

“I can’t believe you called Millie and that she and the girls kept this a secret.”

“We all know how you are. You would have found some way to wriggle out of it.”

“Are you saying that I would back down from a challenge?”

Dillon grinned. “I would
never
say that. I know that you once kicked a man in the shins. You’re one tough cowgirl.”

“Yes,” she said, “I am. And I would appreciate it if, in the future, you trust me enough to come to me and ask me if I want to do something before you go off and take control of things.” Although she felt a little guilty at that comment. She still felt bad about panicking and taking over with Toby that day Lisa had showed up.

“Let’s agree to discuss things first in the future,” he told her.

She nodded. But, of course, there wasn’t going to be a future. Surely the business with Lisa was going to come to a head soon. Either Lisa wanted Toby or she didn’t. And if she did, there would have to be a showdown and some ground rules set. There might be attorneys and judges involved. But it would have to happen soon or Lisa’s failure to act would put her out of the picture. Public opinion wouldn’t favor her. She would do something soon.

But not tonight, Colleen told herself as she went to get ready.
Tonight I’m going to a dinner with Dillon. As his date.

Which wasn’t exactly what he had said.

But Colleen needed to dream a little, to pretend a little. Soon enough all pretending would be done. But tonight was hers.

C
OLLEEN
received a video call a few minutes later. Harve Enson came on the screen. “Hi, Colleen, the girls hooked me up so I could talk to you. I just wanted to tell you that even though Millie’s on her way to Chicago, you don’t have a single thing to worry about. The women are expert ranchers, of course, but I hear they can’t cook worth squat and with you gone, there’s too much work for two, so if it’s all right with you, me and some of the other people in town want to help out at the Applegate. All of us here in Bright Creek are aware of how much you’ve done for the girls and we know we’ve been insensitive, unfeeling snots in the past. We want to make up for all that. So, if it’s all right with you, we’ll make sure that the fishermen pay their fees, we’ll get people to cook and we’ll help out in any other ways the ladies need us to.”

Colleen was sure that her mouth was hanging open. Insensitive, unfeeling snots?

“Harve, I don’t quite understand. I certainly appreciate your offer, but…this apology is unnecessary and…I mean…why now? You’ve known about the girls living with me for years.”

Harve cleared his throat. Was his face a little red? Did he look embarrassed?

“I know all that, but when we were out riding around in the car the other day, Dillon explained things to us. He told us
all
the details. It’s one thing to know something and another thing to know all the little things that make a man see a situation in a…a realistic light. I knew you hired Julie and Gretchen at a crucial time in their lives, but I always had the feeling that you were bent on teaching them to hate men. We all knew what your daddy and stepdaddy were, so we didn’t exactly blame you for seeming mad all the time, but your anger made it easy to dismiss you. Then Dillon cleared things up for us. He told us how you cared for that baby like your own and how you protected the girls and stood up to him to make sure he was a good father to Toby and…well, he reminded us that you had tried to protect him, too. That you weren’t against men, just injustice. After that, it didn’t feel right, knowing that we were part of the problem, the ones treating you like a man and going on about Lisa in front of your face and all. So…that’s it, then. And you know I don’t like feeling as if I owe someone something. I want to do my part.”

Colleen blinked. Her throat felt too tight. She had spent years being “one of the guys” with Harve, and she couldn’t really stop that now. At least not right away. It would embarrass him if she cried.

“Harve, I would be honored if you would help out.”

She cleared her throat and turned to look at Dillon. He had taken care of Bill Winters for her; he had cleared things up with Harve and…who knew what other men had been in the car that day and who Harve had repeated this tale to?

Harve smiled and then laughed. “So the Applegate isn’t no man’s land anymore?”

She laughed, too. “Don’t push it, Harve. The Applegate is still our sanctuary. But…thank you.”

At that moment, the doorbell rang and she said goodbye
to Harve and went to greet Millie as Dillon opened the door. Millie gave the room an appreciative glance.

“Very nice,” she said. “Now, where’s my baby? I’m going to spoil him silly while you two are out tonight.”

Dillon laughed. “Okay, but tomorrow I’ve got all kinds of things set up for you,” Dillon told her. “You’ve got choices. I made sure I had tickets and entrance passes to a bunch of things, since I wasn’t sure what you’d want to see and do.”

Millie smiled and patted his cheek. “You’re a good man,” she said as he directed her toward Toby’s room.

Colleen’s eyes felt misty. If her throat closed up any tighter, she wouldn’t be able to talk. Dillon…that man…he had known that Millie had never had this kind of treat before.

She turned to him to thank him, but he cut her off. “You’d better go get ready. My friends aren’t quite sure that you’re real. I’ve talked about you so much and so much time has passed that they’re starting to think that I’ve made you up.”

The funny thing was, Colleen thought later, as she stepped into the room where the dinner party was being held, that she was beginning to
feel
like a fictional character. The woman she’d seen in her mirror earlier wearing the off-the-shoulder cream-colored dress and the three-inch lacy heels looked nothing like the Montana cowgirl she had always been. It was difficult to know how to act.

But she was barely in the door when a man came up to her and introduced himself. “I’m Jace, Dillon’s assistant, and you have to be Colleen, the woman who makes those wonderful sculptures.”

Colleen blinked. “Did Dillon ask you to say that?”

He laughed. “No, he just showed me your Web site and I saw the ones in his yard when they were first installed. I’ve ordered one for my rooftop apartment.”

“I…thank you,” she said.

“And I really loved the red boots in the photo I saw. You left them at home?”

“Waiting for my next race,” she said with a smile.

“My first cowgirl. I’m honored to have met you. You
are
an original,” he said. Which was a much nicer way of saying she was odd or different than Colleen had ever heard.

In no time a crowd had gathered around Colleen.

“Dillon gets all the gorgeous women,” one man complained, and for a second Colleen didn’t realize that he was talking about her. “Do you allow guests at your ranch?”

“Hardly ever, Tom.” Dillon’s voice sounded from Colleen’s right and he slipped his hand around her waist. Her heart picked up the pace.

“You must be the babysitter, right?” a bejeweled woman asked.

“That’s far too anemic and limited a term for what Colleen does,” Dillon said. “Colleen takes care of people, both babies and adults. She creates art, she runs a ranch and she’s a barrel racing champion.”

“Barrel racing? I’d love to see footage of that.”

“So would I,” Dillon admitted. “Don’t you have any video of that?” he asked her.

“No, but Gretchen loves to take pictures and videos. The next race I’m in I’ll have her tape it and send it to you,” she told him.

Because she wouldn’t be seeing him anymore. But she wouldn’t think of that right now.

But the question about barrel racing had spurred other questions, and Colleen tried to explain what it was like to live on a ranch, how big the sky and land were, how small she was in comparison and yet how the feeling of being small was…right.

“You love it, don’t you?” a woman asked.

“It’s who I am and it’s what I know.”

“You’re a fascinating woman,” one man in his thirties told
her. “A rancher, and yet you seem perfectly in your element in this high-rise apartment surrounded by city dwellers.”

“Well, we’re not completely rustic. There are plenty of cowboy poets in Montana, and some urban dwellers who have relocated from more cosmopolitan areas. And even though Montana’s miles from here, the Internet brings a lot of the world into everyone’s lives, doesn’t it? I’m sure we must share a
few
things.”

“A love of art, for one,” someone suggested and another person went looking for their hostess’s computer, calling everyone to come look at Colleen’s Web site.

The whole time they’d been talking, Dillon had been by her side as if he was guarding her. The darn man was supposed to be having a good time with the people he hadn’t had a chance to see in a long time, not watching over her. So, when the group moved away, she stood on her toes and whispered in his ear. “You don’t have to babysit me, you know. Your friends seem nice.”

“They like you. And all the men want your phone number.”

She gave him an incredulous look. “I don’t believe you.”

“Believe me. See that man off to the right looking daggers at me?”

She looked. There
was
a man staring at them.

“He specifically asked me if he could ask you out.”

“What did you tell him?”

“I told him that he wasn’t good enough for you.”

Colleen opened her eyes wide. “What’s wrong with him?”

But Dillon was prevented from answering by the ringing of the doorbell. The hostess frowned. “I wasn’t expecting anyone else.”

When she went to answer the door, Lisa swept into the room. “Nancy!” she said, giving the woman a hug and a kiss. “It’s so good to see you. I love that red dress. You always look so fantastic in red.”

A visibly startled and embarrassed Nancy stuttered and stammered and finally thanked Lisa, who gave her a glowing smile.

“I know. I’m sorry to just drop in on you unannounced,” Lisa said, “but I’ve been meaning to call on you ever since I got back in town and…”

She looked around. “Oh. Look at this. What a dunce I am. You’re having company. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” A look of distress came over her face. “I hope you’ll all forgive me for barging in like this. I didn’t know. Nancy, don’t worry, I’ll come back another day. We’ll talk.”

“Lisa, don’t be silly. Don’t go,” Nancy was saying, smoothing her palms over the red dress. “Come in. You know almost everyone here, anyway. I would have invited you, except I thought…maybe…”

She looked at Dillon.

“Oh, that,” Lisa said. “Don’t worry. Dillon and I still talk. We share a child. Our lives will always be entwined.” As if to emphasize that, she moved over to Dillon and put her hand on his arm. Now he was flanked by both Colleen and Lisa.

Immediately, Colleen started to pull free. Dillon didn’t let go.

“Lisa,” he said, nodding his head. “Colleen and I were just going to discuss some details about the ranch with Jace. You’ll excuse us?” It was a command, not a question, but Lisa seemed unfazed. She looked, Colleen thought, like a princess, dressed all in white with her dark hair perfectly coifed and just the right touch of red on her lips and nails. And when she walked, her gait in heels was much smoother than Colleen’s had been.

“Colleen, you look so out of place here in the city. I almost didn’t recognize you without your old work jeans.”

I almost didn’t recognize you without your tiara,
Colleen wanted to say. But she didn’t. Making that kind of catty comment would only cost Dillon in the end.

Besides, the fact that she had instantly wanted to strike out
and defend herself by criticizing Lisa stunned her for an instant. She had never been averse to defending
others
, and she would physically fight when taunted by a bully, but despite the fact that she’d known Lisa was a phony in many ways, Colleen had never confronted her in that way. At all. Instinctively, she’d known that Lisa possessed attributes she herself never would. A fight with Lisa wouldn’t be a physical one, like kicking Rob in the shins, and it wouldn’t be a fair one, either.

So, Colleen had always lain low and stayed clear of Lisa’s territory. There had never been any reason for conflict between them because the two of them posed no threat to the other one. Had that happened, Lisa would have won. Colleen had no feminine wiles, no tools like the ones Lisa possessed, and her confidence in herself was limited to the narrow sphere of horses and ranching. She hadn’t even seen her art as an accomplishment but as therapy. It was being sold only because Julie had claimed they needed space.

But Dillon had changed all that. He had given her a confidence in herself as a woman that she had lacked earlier. A sense that she could demand things for herself when she needed to.

So, what did she need?

She needed to know that Dillon and Toby were safe. Happy. Secure. Not being manipulated or used. But…how to accomplish that? Her usual, mulish methods of putting her head down and butting at the offender wouldn’t work with someone like Lisa. If she did that, in the end, Dillon and Toby would pay the price. Especially given the fact that she was physically larger than Lisa, she’d look like a bully and Lisa would look like a fragile, wounded woman, a part she knew how to play well. Public opinion would, once again, be in Lisa’s favor.

Colleen suddenly realized that everyone was staring at Lisa
because of the “ranch jeans” comment she had made. And maybe because she still hadn’t responded to Lisa’s comment.

“Not that there’s anything wrong with dirty ranch jeans, exactly,” Lisa had dropped into the conversation somewhere while Colleen had been panicking.

“Except when there’s a vulnerable little baby around who might be subject to all those germs,” Lisa added when the room remained quiet, apparently stunned at her rude comment. “Do you realize how many horrible diseases ranch animals carry?” she added. “It’s probably silly and ridiculous of me to worry, but…a mother worries about these seemingly insignificant things.”

Now, some of the women and even some of the men were shifting their feet and murmuring. They clearly didn’t want to insult Colleen but some of them had to be parents. Few of them would have any experience of ranching. Lisa’s argument was beginning to sound sane, as if Colleen would unwittingly or uncaringly subject Toby to infection.

From the corner of her eye, Colleen could see that Dillon was nearing tornado stage. His brow was furrowed, his fists were clenched. He was going to wade into the fray and…and do what?

He’s going to defend me.
She knew that, just as she knew that anything he said here would be remembered, replayed in people’s minds. Possibly used against him later. She held out her hand to stop him.

“I can assure you,” he said, his voice steel, his eyes ice, “that Colleen would have moved heaven and earth to protect Toby. She subjected him to nothing that would have harmed him. And if you’re implying that she did, then you never really knew her very well at all. Even though you dropped a newborn baby on her and walked away for months.”

A collective gasp went through the group. Colleen felt her
own heart pounding hard. Would this be all it took? The crowd would surely remember this fact. Not that it had been a secret, but…phrased this way in these circumstances, Lisa’s abandonment of Toby seemed exceptionally bad and unfeeling. Would this be what helped Dillon to win?

“You’re right. You’re so right,” Lisa said, her face crumpling, “but as a totally inexperienced mother…I was scared. I didn’t know how to be a parent at all. I went to Europe. I took parenting classes. I worked on my confidence. Now, I’m…I’m ready to be a mother, finally.” Her lip quivered. With her pale, pretty face she looked fragile, vulnerable, repentant.