RockYourSoul (13 page)

“She is dripping wet.” Two of Ryan’s fingers plunged inside
her pussy. She pushed against him, but not in an effort to get away. She wanted
more.

His free hand lifted, massaging her breast as he slipped
another finger inside her. She whimpered because she was so on edge, yet still
needed more. They both held her tightly, lofting her to the place where pain
became a rich, concentrated pleasure. She knew how to process the sensation and
knew how to use it to her advantage. It was that training she drew upon when
Ryan’s fingers closed around her nipple and squeezed, pinching hard.

Ryan’s voice was a low growl as he repositioned his hand,
thrusting his fingers inside her as she grew even wetter. The sensation of
fullness coupled with the pain slowly increased her arousal. The pleasure-pain
sensation she’d grown to crave swelled and grew, as if her body had been finely
tuned to the two men.

Endorphins flooding her system, she opened wider to take
more of Dade. The crown of his cock slipped past her lips so she engulfed the
entire head. Stretched wide, she teased her tongue over the tip. She concentrated
on the cock filling her mouth, pulling back slowly before plunging down to
engulf the thick head again.

Dade’s hand tightened in her hair. “Christ, Ryan, she’s…”

“Yeah, I know.” Ryan’s fingers stroked, driving deeper.
“That mouth of hers is fucking unbelievable.” Each time he thrust, his knuckles
hit against the plug buried in her ass. The movement sent shockwaves rippling
through her.

She was ready to beg them both just to put her out of her
misery. She moaned around Dade’s cock as Ryan thrust inside her, the sensation
pushing her nearly to the edge. Her mouth, pussy and ass were so full, it was
nearly too much to take.

Except she needed more than just Ryan’s fingers fucking her
cunt. She whimpered around Dade’s cock as her body started to hit critical
mass.

His hand brushed through her hair. “I recognize that sound.”

“So do I.” Ryan’s fingers withdrew, the position of his hand
shifting so the pad of a fingertip pressed hard against her clit. She wiggled
against him, desperate for more contact.

The sharp crack of Ryan’s hand swatting her butt halted her
movement. Shock blasted through her at the contact of his palm, adding sparks
to the need festering inside her.

A loud pop filled the room as she released Dade’s cock. “I’m
sorry, Sir.”

Ryan’s open hand caressed the warm skin, drawing a guttural
groan from deep in her chest. Tremors followed wherever he touched. “I’m not
sure I believe you’re truly sorry. Keep sucking Dade, California, and we’ll
see.”

She nodded, gathering the drop of pre-cum that had collected
on the tip before sucking in the head of Dade’s erection once more. Ryan’s hand
cracked against her skin again, heat blooming where she was sure she wore his
red handprint. She groaned long and low as her ass cheeks began to burn from
Ryan’s spanking. Pleasure twisted through her as she hung there tethered
between the two men.

Dade’s hand curled against her skull, pushing her down so
she swallowed more of him. Ryan’s fingers speared into her cunt at the same
time, sinking three fingers deep. Twisting his fingers, he pulled and pushed in
a rapid rhythm that stole her breath.

Pain bloomed bright as his other hand hit her ass cheek with
a concussive force. The acute sting brought tears to her eyes as she whined
around the dick shoved between her lips. Her body throbbed, pulsing like a live
wire. Overwhelmed, she couldn’t discern pleasure from pain. Her skin tingled,
itching as if a thousand bugs crawled over her body.

Something was wrong…

Sinking deeper into her confusion, Sanctuary blurred and
morphed into the smoky dungeon she was so familiar with at Impact. Dazed, she
struggled for breath as something bit into her thigh. The inky blackness of a
terrifying nightmare stabbed her midsection.

Ethan.

She cringed as a sick feeling churned her stomach.

He found me.

But I left him. I told him I was done. Finished. Over.
Why won’t he leave me alone?

Hands moved over her body, coating her skin with a thick
layer of slime and broken memories.

This is bad. Bad. Bad. So. Very. Bad.

Can’t breathe.

Need to break away from them.

She struggled against whatever prevented her from moving.

Too many of them. Can’t escape. Can’t get away.

Can’t save myself.

A hand struck the high curve of her ass, tearing a
high-pitched scream from her throat. Volatile energy swamped her, pulling her
to the rim of a gaping abyss and dumping her unceremoniously over the brink.

Too much.

I don’t want to do this anymore.

But I have to. Ethan will hurt me if I show weakness.
Have to please him. Have to make him happy so he doesn’t hurt me. Not again.

I’m alone and helpless. No one will rescue me.

Feeling as if she was being pulled into the edge of darkness
faster than she could maintain, she struggled to find a foothold. She needed to
save herself but couldn’t catch her breath enough to form those words. Thick,
putrid fear churned her stomach, her lungs burning for oxygen.

No.

No more scars.

Ethan’s hurt me enough.

A face swam to the surface, providing her with an anchor of
salvation.

Ryan.

He’ll save me from Ethan.

She tried to snap her fingers, but her hands were shaking
too violently. Through her distress, she fought to form the word that found her
despite the darkness threatening to take her completely.

“Lemon.”

A pair of powerful arms scooped her up, holding her close in
a tight embrace. She basked in the comfort of those familiar arms for a moment,
assuring herself she wasn’t in the horrible place where she would be beaten for
performing badly. For saying she couldn’t take what she was being given. For
crying out because she’d reached a point where she needed a moment to take a
breath.

Through the lingering shades of terror, she found Ryan’s
gaze.

“Beth.”

She swallowed, cringing at the bitter taste coating her
throat. “I’m fine.”

“Elisbeth, look at me.” His voice trembled, worry drawing
his eyebrows together. “You’re not fine. I need you to breathe for me, baby.
You don’t need to pass out. That’s it, take in a breath. Slow and steady.” She
sucked in an uneven breath, ignoring the jittery feeling tingling under the
surface of her skin. “Good. Now take another.”

Instead of following his demand, she rested her hand lightly
against the side of his face. Coarse hair on his jaw scraped against her palm,
her fingers trembling against his skin. “I’m so, so sorry, Ryan.”

“Shhh, quiet.” He kissed the tips of her fingers as he
captured her hand. “Just breathe for me right now. I won’t let go until—”
Movement behind her caused her to jerk in Ryan’s arms, a fresh wave of terror
swamping her. Ryan’s hold tightened, his chin resting against the top of her
head as he slowly rocked her. “It’s just Dade. He won’t hurt you. No one is
ever going to hurt you again. I promise.”

His deep voice washed over her, eradicating some of her
fear.

Dade. Ryan’s friend.
Her
friend.

Her muscles uncoiled as she lifted her head. Dade stared,
his eyes filled with just as much worry as Ryan’s. He knelt beside her, waiting
patiently while she gathered her composure. She didn’t deserve this special
kind of care and attention. Especially when she’d been foolish enough to get
carried away. These two men were nothing like Ethan and his friends.

Ethan.

The reminder sent a fresh wave of panic crashing through
her.

“Jesus.” Dade’s expression softened as he leaned forward to
brush his warm lips against her exposed shoulder. “She’s still not past it.”

“I know.” Ryan’s chest vibrated as he growled. “Come on,
baby. Fight. Don’t let him win.”

I will win,
youstupidbitchcuntwhoreslutfuckholeuselesspieceofshit. You’re not worthy of my
attention any longer.

Ethan’s voice chipped away each step of forward progress she
made. She gritted her teeth, pulling in a harsh breath as his repulsive voice
echoed in her head. The coldness held a strong grip that didn’t want to break.
She would not allow it to fester and grow so it took over her life. Not again.
She would not live in fear.

No! No, you have no right to be here, you bastard. I left
you.

A scream tore through her mind. Ethan, howling in rage
because she’d broken free.

She reached out into the darkness, searching for something
she couldn’t put a name to. Hands gripped hers, reassuring her she had
somewhere to turn despite the gloom threatening to engulf her again.

“Please don’t leave me.”

“Hadn’t planned on it.” A hand caressed her hip as she
slumped against Ryan’s shoulder and blew out a shaky breath. Ryan kissed the
top of her head as his hand swept over her hair, a sense of utter calm blotting
out the muddled images in her head.

Inhaling slowly, her lungs still burning, she closed her
eyes and exhaled when his fingers continued to comb through her hair. The
conditioning grounded and centered her, drawing her focus to his touch and the
deep connection he’d worked to build between them.

“Breathe with me now. Do exactly what I do.” His chest
expanded against her side, his heart beating steady and strong. In. Out. He
grumbled softly when she lost the rhythm. “One breath at a time, Beth. For me.
Come on, that’s it.” In. Out. Breath by breath they exhaled and inhaled in
tandem until she finally sagged against Ryan, physically and emotionally spent.

“There you go. Stay still for a moment.” He pushed on her
legs, working to unlace the wide strips still encasing her thighs. She tensed,
a protest at the loss of contact with his body on the tip of her tongue. “Take
it easy, Beth. I need to get you free. Then I’ll hold you for however long you
need.”

She swallowed and nodded, licking her dry lips as Ryan
continued to work. The concern that had etched his face earlier had vanished.
She’d worried him. Hell, for a few minutes, she’d worried herself.

Dade appeared with a wet washcloth, pressing it against her
forehead. She sighed, thankful for the coolness on her hot skin.

Ryan’s thumb grazed over her ankle as he slid the straps
away. She immediately felt awful for calling a stop to things because she truly
had been enjoying herself. Damn her past causing so much interference with her
present.

Ryan freed her from the straps and the collar, tossing them
to the side before pulling her into his lap once again. She clung to him,
thankful for his soothing touch. Dade’s fingers trailed slowly against her
lower back.

“I don’t want to stop.”

She reached up to kiss Ryan, but he cradled her jaw and held
her in place. “Shh, give me a moment. Are you all right? Were you scared?”

“I’m fine. I want—”

“Tell me what happened. Then I’ll decide if you’re rational
enough—”

“Rational? You’ll decide—”

“You just had a panic attack at the beginning of a scene
with two men. Yes, damn it. I will dictate whether or not this is over.” When
she tried to fold her arms in front of her he captured her wrists, his warm
hands curling against her skin. “Beth, I want to push on your hard limits, but
that was even a little extreme for me. I want to be the one to make you fall
apart, not some horrific nightmare of a memory. Especially one that doesn’t
belong in
my
room. Now did we hurt you or were you just scared?”

“No. No pain. Nothing hurt. I just…” Dade came around to
kneel beside Ryan, his concerned expression matching Ryan’s. She averted her
eyes, staring at the hardwood floor. “There was nothing I didn’t like. You know
it’s not the first time I’ve been with multiple partners, but it was the first
time I wanted to keep going. It was exciting. I wasn’t being forced to do
something I wasn’t sure I liked. But I couldn’t…I wanted to, but I couldn’t. I’m
sorry, I let my head get the best of me. I let him win and—”

“What did he do?”

Beth winced at Dade’s question, embarrassment heating her
face. “You must know about Ethan.”

“I told Dade what he needed to know in order to be here
tonight. I had my suspicions about how deeply that poser-Dom scarred you beyond
what I can see physically. But it sure as hell doesn’t feel good to be right
this time.”

Get it out, Beth. Tell them how much of an asshole he
really was.
“Ethan once decided he wanted to sit back on his throne and
watch three other men have their way with me at the same time.”

“Was it something you wanted?”

“I knew if I spoke up and asked to negotiate, it would anger
him.”

“Jesus.”

She smiled at Dade’s reaction. “I enjoyed it at first
because it was actually very exciting. To be the center of focus for four men?
I don’t know any woman who wouldn’t feel pampered by that thought. But then it
became very apparent I was there only for their pleasure and not my own. They
didn’t care if I got off or enjoyed the experience. Neither did Ethan. In fact,
he usually preferred when I didn’t.”

Dade’s fingers rubbed slowly against her hand as she held
onto Ryan’s shoulder. “You know, I thought Ryan was exaggerating some of what
he told me about what you’d been through.”

She sometimes wished that was the case. That the choices
she’d made back then were smarter and more in tune with what she actually
wanted and needed. “No, he’s not. I can’t even speak about most of it because
I’ve blocked out a lot of things. But I know at some point during
the…encounter, I passed out. They didn’t even care.”

Both Ryan’s and Dade’s eyes widened. “They kept going?”

“As far as I know, yes. I was on my knees, positioned so
each of them had an opening available to do as they pleased. When I came to, I
was flat on my back, covered with—” She bit off what she’d been about to say,
unable to verbalize the image forming in her mind and caused her to shudder.
“After they left, Ethan tended to me, telling me what…” Her words trailed off
as her eyes lost focus.

Ryan snapped his fingers. “Look at me, Beth. Not your
nightmares.”

“Sorry. He washed me, telling me what a magnificent
performance I’d given. What a good cunthole I’d been. Cunthole.” She snorted,
the word feeling vile and oily on her tongue. “That was his pet name for me.
Some pet. I forgot to thank him when he finished his aftercare. He made sure I
never did that again.”

Dade leaned forward, kissing her cheek. “Ryan wasn’t kidding
when he said you were made of strong stuff. I’m surprised you didn’t wave the
white flag as soon as you heard me come in, let alone when I was buried inside
your mouth.”

“I’ve had times where I’ve wanted to be on my knees before
two men, taking care of them with my hands and mouth. I don’t want what they
did to me to ruin everything Ryan has worked so hard to help me with. In fact,
I’m determined not to allow it. I just couldn’t catch my breath or my bearings
and everything about the night sort of came rushing back. I shouldn’t have, but
I did even though I know neither of you are anything like them. Ryan’s proven
that time and time again. That’s why I trust his judgment by adding you, Dade.”

She reached out and touched their jaws, Dade’s smooth face a
contrast to Ryan’s facial hair. She liked the fact they were so remarkably
different.

“Such a remarkable sub.” Ryan’s mouth suddenly slashed over
hers, his kiss possessive yet tender at the same time. Banked arousal flared to
life between her legs, tugging and pulling in demand for more. Her breathing
quickened again, but this time it wasn’t from fear.

His eyes on her as he broke away, he examined her face
closely. She knew he was looking for signs of duress. “I’m fine, Ryan.”

“You repeating yourself unnecessarily won’t do anything to
sway me. I’ve always been more of a hands-on type of man.” Excitement spun
inside her, heating her skin as Ryan’s fingers dipped between her legs.
Featherlight touches danced over her pussy, the tips of his fingers teasing and
tickling.

She giggled when he found a particularly sensitive location.
Her giggle slid into a soft groan as the tip of his fingers circled the
tightening nub of her clit. A long, rumbling surge of pleasure rolled through
her, the ecstasy-filled waves radiating out from where Ryan caressed her.

Her vision blurred as his touch firmed against her hot
folds.

His fingers dipped inside her entrance, her need
flourishing. Her pussy throbbed as he made slow, driving thrusts. Each gentle
plunge lofted her higher, his fingers moving in little circles that caused her
to quiver. One of his fingers curled, stroking against a bundle of nerves high
inside her.

A surge of intense pleasure forced a strangled gasp from her
throat.

“Almost there.” His thumb brushed against her engorged clit
as he pushed against the sensitive spot again. Her muscles coiled in a flash,
exploding out with a shattering force powerful enough to rob her of sight. Her
back arched, straining in Ryan’s hold as her body shuddered out the consuming
release. Each slide of his fingers tumbled her into another world, one filled
with desperate desires.

“Keep milking my fingers, California.”

Her mind lost focus, but this time horrific images didn’t
chase her. Now there was only intense pleasure as her muscles strained,
reaching for a glorious paradise. Something inside her cracked, breaking free
as a violent orgasm exploded outward. Her keening wail stretched out as Ryan
continued to stroke her swollen tissues while she jerked in his arms.

Exhausted, her body buzzed quietly as she sagged against
Ryan. Her head whirled, the warm touch of absolute satisfaction blooming inside
her. Something soft nuzzled the side of her neck, drawing her eyes open.

One side of Ryan’s mouth lifted as he stared down at her. “
Now
you’re fine.” His voice, uneven and husky, rumbled through her, the sound of
satisfaction weighing his statement.

“Yes Sir.”

He shifted her in his arms, opening her legs to fit her
labia on either side of his hardening length. Dade slid behind her, his chest
pushing against her back. This kind of contact with them both kept her
together, allowing her to get caught up but still feel secure. She’d been too
open before, too in need of more contact. Trapped between them, closed in and
surrounded, felt wonderful.

Dade’s hands closed around her hips, tilting her pelvis.
Pleasure bloomed as he tapped the end of the plug still tucked snugly inside
her. She’d forgotten about the item during her panic. He twisted the base,
slowly pivoting the toy at a steady, slow pace until her head fell back against
his shoulder.

Ryan’s lips pressed against her throat, his teeth grazing
over the surface of her skin. He trailed lower, blazing a path to her breasts.
She gave a quiet gasp as his mouth closed around the sensitive nipple. Without
thinking, she pushed back against Dade’s hand.

“Forgetting your place, California?”

She winced. “Yes Sir.”

Everything just felt so damn…wonderful after the panic.

Dade tugged on her shoulders, pulling her back against his
chest as he palmed his cock. The position tilted her hips forward enough for
Ryan to press his thumb against her clit.

Arousal swamped her as Dade wiggled the plug. The first
glorious contact of Ryan’s cock as he slid into her pussy sent her soaring.
Dade moved the toy, working it to the widest point before plunging it inside
her once again.