Rocky Mountain Match (19 page)

Joseph held a cool, damp cloth to Katie’s forehead, hoping for some kind of improvement, but nothing seemed to work. It had to be nearly midnight by now, and Ben had just left the room to see Sven and Marta out. The four of them had maintained a constant vigil at Katie’s bedside for hours, praying for the violent fever to release its burning grip. Sam had stopped by, too, and joined in prayer with them for Katie.

Her skin blazed hot beneath Joseph’s fingertips as she lay eerily still. The restlessness she’d shown earlier had passed.

“God, please don’t let her die.” He stared into the darkness, blinking against the moisture pooling in his eyes.

There’d been moments when God’s abiding peace and comforting presence had rested like a warm glow in the room, and Joseph had been sure God had come to take her home. He didn’t pretend to know God’s plan for Katie, but if he had any say in the matter, she’d remain earthbound. Live to journey through a long life with him. Be his wife and lover, bear their children.

Apart from pausing for a brief moment to eat the plate of food Marta had threatened to shovel down his throat,
he hadn’t left Katie’s side. Having been awake for almost two days straight, he was beyond tired. His head pounded and his hands throbbed with a dull ache, but he barely paid these things an ounce of attention.

Lifting the cloth from Katie’s brow, he dipped it in a basin of cool water, squeezed it out, then set it on her brow once again. “It’s all right. I’m here,” he soothed.

He tenderly wiped the cool moisture over her brow, down both cheeks and to her mouth. Alarm shot through him at how quickly the heat radiating from her body permeated the cloth.

He drew a trembling thumb over her full lips, cringing at how they were already dry and cracked from fever. Dabbing the cloth to her mouth, he moistened her lips, trying everything Ben had shown him to do to keep her as comfortable as possible. After dipping the cloth in the basin yet again, he placed it on her brow.

Bone-weary, he sank to the chair, gathering her hand in his. “Please…please don’t take her, God.”

His heart twisted with the deep yearning to see her live.

Twisted even tighter at the thought of seeing her suffer.

Tears welled up in his eyes. Spilled over onto his cheeks as he realized that he had to be willing to let her go, though he’d really only held her as his for a day.

She was his. His teacher. His friend. His beloved bride. He loved Katie. Loved her with his life, his breath, his heart.

Leaning over the bed, he rested his arms against the feather mattress, and his head against the back of her hand. Joseph breathed deep, trying to catch her light, lily scent. But all he could smell was the metallic odor of blood, mixed with the perspiration beading her body.

He prayed for some movement from her, but all he felt
was the saltiness of the tears sliding down his cheeks. He brushed his mouth gently against the back of her hand, feeling the searing heat from her skin against his tear-dampened lips.

There were so many things he wished he’d said and now it might be too late. But if there was even a small part of her that could hear him, he had to tell her what was in his heart. If she died never knowing how much he really cared and how sorry he was, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to live with himself.

Joseph drew in a steadying breath. “Katie, if you can hear me, darlin’, I need you to listen carefully.”

Burrowing his face into his shoulder, Joseph wiped his tears against the once-sturdy cotton fabric that now hung limp and wrinkled. Then he pressed his lips against her fingers, kissing each one, gently, slowly.

“If there was ever a time I wished I could go back and relive, it would be the last few weeks.”

He held her hand, wishing for even the slightest response from her. But her hand hung limp in his.

“I’ve been a fool. A prideful fool who couldn’t see the forest for the trees. I’ve been working so hard, tackling every task you set in front of me and diving into things back at the shop. I’ve been trying to make my life have meaning again.” A steady trail of tears slid down his face as he lowered her hand to the mattress and laid his head next to her.

“When I found out that my vision wasn’t going to get any better, I shut you out. I pushed away the one person who’d brought my life more meaning than anything else could’ve.”

He grasped her fingers and drew them beneath his cheek, wanting to breathe her in for as long as he could.
“I don’t have a good explanation for the way I’ve behaved.” His throat ached with a pain he’d never known. Closing his eyes, he wished he could hear her voice, see her face. “You’ve been so strong. You’ve honored my wishes when they were nothing but pride. I’m so sorry I pushed you away when all I really wanted was to pull you close and never let you go.”

Joseph pressed a kiss into her palm. “I love you, Katie. I thank God that He brought you into my life. And if the only way I could’ve come to know you was through my blindness—” his voice broke as the weighty, sobering realization hit him full force “—then it was worth it. I’d willingly go through it all again if it meant coming to know you and love you like I have.”

A wave of profound emotion crumpled his face. He bit back a sob. “You see…that’s why you have to get better.”

J
oseph peered off into the distance, the growing fog hampering his view. He caught sight of a woman, her golden hair tumbling down her shoulders in soft waves, the blue of her eyes piercing through the mist and gathering darkness.

Katie?

She beckoned him from the edge of the woods. Calling to him. Begging for him to come.

He started toward her, knowing that he had to help her.

But something from behind grabbed at him. Demanding his attention. Turning momentarily away from her, he saw an endless black hole. Its expanse stretched as far as the eye could see. It pulled at him. Daring him to focus on it, dragging him into a place he knew was so bleak that he clawed at the ground to remain in the light.

Hearing her faint cries, he strained to free himself from its engulfing grip, but kept slipping farther…farther away into utter darkness.

Until finally he forced his attention ahead of him, toward where Katie had stood. Wrenching away from the
murky curse that lay behind him. He bolted toward the woman whose cries had gone silent, a memory carried on the night breeze.

Cut through the fast-growing shadows to the timberline, scanning the area, searching for her. Darting forward into the darkness, his heart clenched tight with the horrific thought that he might’ve lost her.

He called to Katie. Then again, more frantic, once, twice
.

Katie blinked once, twice.

Her name…someone had called her name.

She eased her eyes open to see light, brilliant and warm, shining around her in golden streams of glory. She fluttered her lids against the brightness, wondering if she’d died and gone to heaven. Comforting peace enveloped her in downy softness. A bird’s lilting melody drifted to her ears. Opening her eyes again, she tried to get her bearings about her.

Where she was? Why did she feel so completely exhausted?

And what in the world was tickling her hand?

Gathering her strength, she lifted her head slightly and angled her gaze downward.

Joseph.

Katie’s heart squeezed. Her beloved Joseph, asleep and as handsome as ever, had laid his head near her hand, the loose waves of his hair spilling over, dangling feather-light against her skin. A smile worked itself from deep down and spread across her face, warming her with more contentment than she’d ever felt. This wasn’t heaven, but it was close.

Laying her head against the pillow, patchy memories floated through her mind of the past hours—days maybe?
The attack and the terrible dread it provoked in her. The gunshot…

Her pulse pounded inside her head as a huge wave of fear threatened to overtake her. She slowed her rapid breaths and resisted the taunting evil, determined to commit her thoughts to hopeful things.

Like her wedding…

Her throat swelled thick with emotion, her stomach quivered with excitement. Staring up through tears at the ceiling, she tried to make sense of it all. She recalled saying, “I do.” She just didn’t imagine she’d be facing her fanciful dream-come-true today. Instead, she thought she’d be strolling with her Creator through an endless field of radiant flowers or maybe basking in the consuming resonance of an angelic choir. As she’d spoken her vows, Katie was certain she’d been set on an eternal quest to know God’s unfathomable riches and love. She would’ve gladly gone, too.

But something had called her back. Someone.

Joseph. Her beautiful Joseph.

His words—his passionate declaration of love and heart-wrenching plea for her to live—had called to her. They’d broken through her pain, her fever and fear, blanketing her in a love she never imagined feeling on this side of heaven.

When he’d poured out his heart to her, she’d tried to tear away from the fever’s fiery grip enough to respond. Squeeze his hand…anything. But it was all she could do to focus on living through each minute, drawing another breath into her weakening body. And although, at times, she felt alone in her pain, she knew she wasn’t. God had been there comforting her and carrying her through the night.

And Joseph was there, too. Wiping her brow, praying for her, trying to soothe her pain.

Joseph.

Remembering how she’d shared her secret thoughts with him, she felt a heated blush warm her cheeks. What had gotten into her? Facing death must’ve stripped away any amount of comportment and good judgment she embraced. Or maybe it just put things into the right perspective. Maybe God wanted to show her a glimpse of His goodness and love right here on earth.

Katie raised her hand from the mattress and worked her fingertips into Joseph’s hair, loving the way the thick waves wrapped around her fingers. She slid her tongue over her dry, cracked lips.

“Joseph,” she whispered in a raspy, weak voice. Swallowing, she tried again. “Joseph…”

Joseph slowly blinked his eyes open to the dull gray that met his gaze every morning. The nightmare he’d had last night came pouring back through his thoughts. The call for help. The woman standing at the edge of the timberline. The evil darkness. He’d dreamed the same thing several times since his accident. Had always dismissed it as just another reminder of his blindness and the sense of helplessness that plagued him.

Only this time, he saw it differently. The dream wasn’t as much about his blindness but about Katie. And instead of being dragged by the darkness, he’d broken from its grip and gone toward the woman—toward Katie. Calling to her.

“Joseph,” came the faintest of voices lifting him from the swirling of thoughts.

He raised his head from the mattress, felt the light brush of delicate fingers against his face.

His heart lurched to a sudden halt. “Katie?” His breath caught in his throat. Trembling, he reached to touch her. “Is it really you?”

“Hello, there, sleepyhead.” She spoke weakly, the sweet sound of her voice making his eyes burn with ready tears.

When she settled her hand in his, disbelief swept through him. Was she really alive? Or was this just a dream?

Joseph couldn’t control the quivering of his hand as he slid it up her slender arm to her face, where her eyelashes fluttered feather-light beneath his fingertips. Her perfectly shaped lips curved into a sweet, warm smile.

Closing his eyes, he released a pent-up sigh. “I thought I’d lost you,” he choked out.

His horror, grief and sorrow faded fast. And fear—fear that he’d never have more than just a memory of Katie.

Joy flooded through him with exhilarating force. He’d never experienced anything so intense. So profound.

Leaning closer to Katie, he closed a hand around hers, relishing the way her skin no longer radiated with fiery heat. He swallowed hard against the emotion constricting his throat.

Katie nuzzled into his palm, and a warm, moist tear slid down her satiny cheek onto his hand. “I couldn’t go. Not when you were calling me back.”

He wiped her tear away. “Oh, God, thank You,” he breathed, pressing a lingering kiss to her brow. “Thank You, God.”

Trailing his fingertips lightly over each of her beautiful features, he felt the soft kiss she brushed against his hand and knew he could never get enough of her.

“Oh, Katie, I’m so glad you’re back. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let you out of my sight again.” He gave a slow shake of his head and grinned. “What I mean is…I’m not sure I’ll ever want to be away from you.”

He settled the pads of his thumbs at her mouth, grinning at the way she melted to his touch.

She gave a contented sigh, the corners of her mouth tipping to a smile. “You won’t get any argument from me.”

“Good.” He kissed each of her fingertips.

“You’re hurt. What happened to your hands?”

“It’s nothing. Just a few bruises.”

“Are you all right?” she asked, concern cloaking her voice.

“I’m fine. The question is, are you in pain?”

When she shifted slightly, he felt her stiffen and grew immediately concerned. “Don’t try to move. Just lay still and let me help.”

“I guess I’m a little worse off than I thought.” She pulled a breath through clenched teeth. “And tired. So tired.”

“I’m sure you are.” While he adjusted the pillow behind her and pulled the quilt up to her chin, a lingering fear prickled the hair on his neck. The horror of her scream and pitiful sound of her muffled moans filtered through his thoughts. Lowering himself to the chair, he pulled his hands down his face, wishing he had some kind of assurance about the future.

The familiar taunting voices ricocheted through his mind, vomiting the same vile curses he’d entertained for too long.

But he had been here from the beginning, providing comfort and prayer and love. He’d protected. And he’d circumvented danger in spite of his blindness. He hadn’t given his abilities more than a moment of thought when
he’d followed the cries. Had used his honed sense of hearing to his advantage, while working the cover of darkness to the assailant’s disadvantage.

He held her hand, brushing his lips against her fingers. “I’m so sorry about what happened to you. I came as fast as I could, darlin’.”

“And you got there just in the knick of time.” She squeezed his hand.

“When I was close enough to hear the things he was saying to you—the things he wanted to do to you—I got so enraged I almost lost my advantage, Katie. I could’ve gotten you killed.”

“Don’t think about that,” she pleaded. “You saved me, Joseph. You saved me.”

He lowered his head, pulling in her scent and the sound of her strong, even breaths. “I don’t know who he is or why he attacked you…but I’m so glad he didn’t take your innocence.”

Katie blinked back the tears crowding her eyes as Joseph left in search of Ben. His measured, quiet steps, and the way he held his shoulders back and head high, belied the fatigue that must weigh on him.

Alone now, she gazed up at the embossed-tin ceiling, trying to ignore the sick rush of nausea that coursed through her. Not from her injury, or medicine, or the fever.

But from the words that her beloved husband had spoken….

I’m so glad he didn’t take your innocence.

She pulled in a shuddering breath, trying not to crumple beneath the overwhelming misery that stalked her like some rabid dog, threatening to poison her happiness.

Katie swiped at a single tear that trickled down her face, feeling afresh the deep cutting edge of those words. The pain they evoked, far worse than the gunshot or raging fever. It had taken everything she possessed to shut down the instant reaction she’d had—the small gasp and groan. She’d been quick to blame it on a sudden stabbing pain which thankfully propelled Joseph out of the room to find Ben. Giving her a few blessed moments to gather herself before her emotions wholeheartedly betrayed her.

Had Joseph been able to see, he would’ve known that something was amiss. She could try to hide the truth from him awhile longer. Except for the small fact that they were now married. Husband and wife. Destined to consecrate the union.

When Joseph discovered that she was used—irrevocably dirty—would he even want her? He’d said himself that he was glad her innocence hadn’t been taken. And Frank had promised that no man would ever want her. She and Joseph had said their vows, but maybe, given the fact that he’d committed to the marriage thinking he was giving her a last, dying wish, it wouldn’t really count. After all, she did remember the reverend being rushed through the ceremony.

The rapid clap of footsteps approaching from down the hall set her heart racing. She faced the warm sunlight pouring through the lace-curtained window and closed her eyes, forcing herself to relax as she tried to feign sleep. Even though her secret was still safe for now, she just couldn’t face anyone. Not Ben. And definitely not Joseph.

“Katie,” Ben spoke, his voice low as he neared her bed. “Katie, are you awake?”

When she felt his hand against her forehead, and Joseph’s tantalizingly familiar grasp around her fingers,
she stayed as still as a mouse in a field full of hungry cats. She focused on taking long, even breaths, on trying to keep her eyes from moving beneath her closed lids.

“Is she all right?” The level of worry laced through Joseph’s whispered words seized her heart.

And the painful realization that he deserved more than he thought he was getting was almost her undoing. She braced herself against the emotions that blasted away at her shallow wall of strength.

“She must’ve worn herself out from talking,” Ben murmured as he placed his thumb and two fingers around her wrist to take her pulse. “Her fever’s nearly gone and she’s fast asleep again. But her pulse…it’s a little rapid. We’ll have to continue to keep a close eye on her.”

Guilt weighed so heavy over Katie. Each time Joseph offered a kindness or did some sweet deed, the knife twisted deeper into her heart.

“Are you comfortable, darlin’?” Joseph asked again, hunkering down next to where she sat in the rocking chair.

His words heaped burning coals on Katie’s conscience and had her wishing she could just tell him the truth of her past.

Glancing around the bedroom—their shared bedroom—she felt her head swirl with sudden dizziness.

It had been four days since she’d been shot, and though she was feeling so much better physically, emotionally she felt as if she’d been riddled with bullets. It was the least of her concerns that Frank hadn’t been found—dead or alive. But that her secret might somehow be exposed before she had the chance to tell her husband, worked overtime to unravel her peace and
security. Her stomach lurched every time she thought of how she’d allowed Joseph to think he’d married a spotless bride.

She’d looked for opportunities to tell him, but something always snatched away her courage at the last moment.

Joseph had been very open about his feelings for her. How glad he was that she was his wife. How he looked forward to the day when they would have children.

Katie slammed her eyes shut, her head pounding with a sudden onslaught of painful thoughts. “I’m fine,” she finally responded when concern creased Joseph’s brow.