Rockoholic (16 page)

“I’m not with NAOS. I just need to speak to my friend. He’s rehearsing
Rocky Horror
today. He’s asked to see me. Please, it’s really important. Just tell him Jody’s here.”

“Well, I can go and check, I suppose,” he says, slowly putting his paper down.

“Yeah. Mackenzie Lawless. He’s the lead. Frank-N-Furter. You can’t miss him.”

George disappears, mumble-moaning, and I mill about the foyer looking at all the old production posters and getting a near-uncontrollable urge for Junior Mints. George returns silently, looks briefly at me, and when he moves to go back inside the box office, Mac appears from behind him. He’s wearing a faded Bath rugby shirt and black stockings and tottering along in the highest red patent heels I’ve ever seen. There’s a folded newspaper under one arm and he’s carrying my rucksack in his hand.

“What the hell are you wearing?” he says to me, eyeballing my cardi and Nirvana T-shirt combo and handing me my bag. “Marks & Spencer’s grunge collection, is it?”

“Says the boy in the fishnets.”

He smiles briefly, then something darkens his face. “What’s that behind your ear?”

I touch the skin behind my ear. “Oh, just a bruise. From where I fell down at the concert.”

“Let me see.” He lifts up my hair and strokes it lightly with his finger and I get goose pimples down my neck. “Have you put anything on it?”

“No, look, it doesn’t matter. I am in a serious shit-creek situation.”

“I know,” he says. “I called you loads of times yesterday. Where were you? I thought you’d been kidnapped ’n’ all.”

“Ssh,” I say, eyeballing George’s booth. He’s returned to his paper and a crackly quiz show is blaring out of a little radio on his desk. Mac’s standing there, hands on hips. I can’t help but smile. “I didn’t think you were speaking to me anymore. You went off in a mush.”

“I wasn’t in a mush,” he sighs, all dramatic. “I just didn’t want any more to do with that maniac. But I thought you should see this.”

He folds out the newspaper and holds it up to my face until it’s all I can see.

ROCK STAR MISSING.

I snatch the paper off him as we move into the foyer, then up the stairs to the first-floor bar area so we’re completely out of George’s earshot. I don’t think I breathe out until we reach the room. A mirror ball twinkles high up in the center of the ceiling but all the shutters are down and the chairs are upended on tables. My voice drops to a whisper as I read on. “Shit. Shit, shit, shit!”

Mac sits down on a low-lying coffee table and crosses his stockinged legs. “Where is he?”

“Our garage. He doesn’t want to go home. I told him to go and he just wouldn’t.”

He eyes me. “You actually
told
him to go?”

“Yeah. He’s all over the place. And so’s his puke.”

Mac grimaces. “Not handling his scandal well, then?”

“He’s a bloody nightmare, Mac. He’s like Gollum. He swings from one mood to the next, calls me all the names under the sun. Remember that tantrum Cree had when we took her to the beach and she had about ten goes on that SpongeBob ride? He’s like that. All the time. Sits there yanking on his necklace and spitting insults at me whenever I go near. And demanding . . . ugh. I bought him all this stuff and he threw it all back in my face, literally. But he won’t leave for some reason. It’s like he’s scared of something.”

Mac’s eyebrows leap up into his forehead. “Well I won’t say it.”

“I know, I know, you did warn me,” I sigh, turning to page six to read the rest of the article, my eyes pinging from one side to the other as I try and take it all in.

“Whoa,” I breathe out, folding up the paper.

Mac shuffles up and I sit down next to him. “You need to explain to Jackson that people are worried about him and hopefully we can just take him somewhere or . . .”

“Or what?”

“Or we can ring that helpline number and say he just turned up in your garage in a state and you don’t know how he got there.”

I shake my head. “I’m not just going to dump him. I brought him here. And he says he doesn’t want to go back. There must be a good reason.”

“He’s probably just having a strop cos he’s sick of touring. A couple of days away and he’ll realize he has to go back. He can’t live in your garage forever, can he?”

I bite my bottom lip hard. “He says he wants to stay there.”

“Bit of cold turkey and he’ll be back to some semblance of self. Then we can talk to him.”

“Cold turkey?”

Mac uncrosses his fishnetted legs and recrosses them the other way. “Yeah. When junkies come off drugs. Let him detox for a few days. Keep him out of the limelight. Might do him a world of good. Maybe then he’ll stop with the demands.”

I’m doing that middle-distance staring thing. Mac pokes me in the side and I jolt out of it. “I don’t know. I’m out of my depth, Mac. I need you.” Mac says nothing, completely straight-faced, for which I’m quietly grateful. “Will you help me?”

There’s a small but definite twinkle in Mac’s eye, which could be the reflection from the mirror ball, but he nods faintly. “I’m involved now, aren’t I? As usual, you’ve sucked me in.”

I throw my arms around him and squeeze him so hard. “Oh thank you, thank you. It’s been hell without you there. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“We haven’t had a Jody drama for a while, have we, Presh?” Mac smiles so his cheeks dimple and something blooms in my chest. I’ve been dying to see that smile for days. “What was the last little Jody drama we had?”

“When I poured Sunny Delight over my head and got chased through the park by wasps?”

“No, there was one after that, wasn’t there?”

“When I brought that injured rabbit home?”

“No, Christmas . . .”

“Oh yeah. Christmas.” And that was all we needed to say. You only need to know three things — I was going through my die-hard vegetarian phase, Mum wanted to pick a fresh turkey from a local farm, and the police had to close the road in both directions.

“Do you want to come and see a bit of the rehearsal? We’re only going through my songs today so they won’t mind. You can sit in the stalls. Just don’t laugh. Well, at the funny bits you can. But don’t laugh at Mrs. Brooks on the piano, OK?” He gets up, tottering slightly on his heels.

“Why?”

“You’ll see.”

I’d forgotten how brilliant Mac is. I’m barely noticing Mrs. Brooks at the piano and her frantic arms. Mac owns that stage. Even without makeup, just a faded Bath rugby shirt, he
is
Frank-N-Furter. Unembarrassed, pouting, oozing confidence, strutting from one side of the stage to the other like a peacock, singing:

“Don’t get strung out by the way I look,

Don’t judge a book by its cover,

I’m not much of a man by the light of day,

But by night I’m one hell of a lover,

I’m just a sweet transvestite,

from transsexual Transylvania.”

I swell with pride. That’s my best friend — his voice as clear and as pitch-perfect as a professional’s. His legs long and lean and graceful. His hands wide and expressive. I cannot wait to see the show. I’m going to be in the front and I’m going to clap the loudest. For a second I forget all about my own problems and just watch him. Then I remember. The punch of dread meets my stomach. I get up and signal to Mac just as they start running through “Don’t Dream It, Be It.” He gives me the ten-minute sign.

Once Mac’s changed, we head back via the newsstand and Mac buys Jackson’s cigarettes and a lighter.

“You owe me,” he says as he hands me the shopping bag outside.

“I know, I know,” I say. Then we head back to my house. I drag my feet the whole way. I know what’s coming. As soon as Mac opens the garage door, a book flies past him, a hairsbreadth from his face.

I slam the door and lock it. “That’s what I’ve had for the past two days.”

Mac bends down to pry open the cat flap. “Jackson? It’s Mac.”

“FUCK OFF!”
the beast shouts back. Something hits the wall inside.

“We’re not going to hurt you, Jackson, OK? Can we come in?”

“No!” The kick drum flies against the door.

Mac turns to me. “Blimey.”

“See what I mean? One minute he’s OK, or at least he’s not throwing things, he’s just crying or something, and next he’s like this. If I didn’t know better I’d say he had PMS.”

“Maybe he has,” Mac suggests.

“What if he’s always like this, Mac? What if this
is
Jackson?”

Mac shakes his head. “No. This is withdrawal.” The two drumsticks pelt the door in turn.

“Withdrawal from what?”

“Whatever he’s on. He’s two days into full-on cold turkey. Has he been shaking and stuff?”

“Yeah, a bit. When I’ve dared to go that near.”
Thud.
I can see Jackson through the window, throwing books about, bawling and swearing. But there’s barely a sound to be heard outside, thanks to the soundproofing.

Mac kneels down and peers through the cat flap. “Yeah, he’s well into it. This is the worst bit. We’re going to have to see him through it. It’s not like this is going to be a gradual thing, either. We’ve nothing to help lessen the effects. He’s just going to have to deal with it.”

“How do you know so much about drugs?” I ask him.

“NAOS. Half the cast are former drug addicts from the halfway house in town.”

I’m not sure at all. This is so way beyond the beyondest of the beyond. “This could be dangerous, making him go cold turkey.”

“I know. It’s going to be a total shock to his system, so we’ll have to keep a close eye on him. But he can’t get any worse, that’s the good news. Right, we need to Google it and find out exactly what to do. Must be a step-by-step guide on how to detox a junkie on there somewhere. It would help if we knew what he was on. Has he asked for anything drug-sounding? His stuff, his gear, Charlie, H, spliffs, meth, whiz?”
Thud.

“No . . .”

“. . . shit, blow, ganja, weed, dope, speed, rocks?”

“No, nothing. How can you get high off rocks? Do you lick them or something?”

“Not concrete rocks, Jode, rocks of cocaine. What about snow, smack, crack, crank, PCP, LSD? Has he asked for any of them? Anything that could sound like a type of drug?”

“No, I don’t think so. I would have remembered. He’s got this key around his neck that he’s really presh about. Maybe it unlocks a box of drugs somewhere?”

Mac looks at me like I’ve just poked my tongue into his eye. He dips his head and I can tell he’s smiling. Laughing at me.

“OK, maybe not. The only thing he keeps asking for are blackberries.”
Thud.

“Blackberries?” says Mac. “As in, more than one?”

“Yeah. I thought he meant fruit, but I bought him some and he knocked them all over the floor.”

“Maybe he meant the phone, but who carries around two BlackBerrys?”

I shrug. “Jackson, I suppose.”

“No, I mean, maybe they’re not phones. Maybe the blackberries are what he’s taking. Maybe that’s his name for them, the pills.”

We go up to my computer and Mac makes himself comfortable on my chair. I stand behind him and drape my arms around his neck. Mac knows a little about a lot of things, which is just as well cos I know nothing about a lot more. And what he doesn’t know he can find out in seconds with a fast broadband connection. His hand darts about on top of the mouse like an epileptic spider. He types “blackberry + drug” into Google.

The first result that comes up is an American medical website called Proclicyanide Sulphate — The Facts. And then there’s all this science about what it is. I lean in, resting my chin on Mac’s shoulder, as he reads aloud.

“‘Proclicyanide sulphate tablets,’” he doesn’t even stutter, “‘or “red berries” as they are commonly known due to their red appearance, are recreational drugs. Their purpose is to promote energy and alertness, sometimes even temporary mania.’ Right, so basically they’re uppers. He’s been taking them to give him an onstage high.”

“But he asked for
black
berries, not
red
berries.”

“I’m getting to that bit,” he says, scrolling down the screen a bit further. “‘Most users have to take effigysium sulphate tablets, or “black berries,” to counteract the effects of the proclicyanide. These are used to bring one back to a version of calm, though in regular users this can be short-lived due to the craving for the former.’ He must take the black berries to bring him down, only . . .”

“. . . he doesn’t have any black berries cos they went over the bridge with his clothes.”

“Exactly. Look, ‘side effects from red berries can range from violent childish mood swings, chronic inertia, agoraphobia, paranoia, heart palpitations, and even death in some extreme cases.’”

“Oh my God, Mac. What if he dies, what if he dies in my garage?”