RockMySenses (8 page)

“Actually, I was thinking about trying one of her yoga
classes.”

Lily stared me as if I was a cobra coiling up to attack.

“Yoga?”

“Yeah. Part of my New Year’s resolution to be more fit and—”
Since I made this shit up as I went along, I didn’t even know where I was going
with this conversation. “Zen.”

Lily appraised me with skepticism. She could see through the
bullshit, but luckily she didn’t blast me.

“Um, well she is the best. But her studio isn’t going to be
open for a few more weeks.”

“Is she still teaching at your gym?”

“Yesss,” she dragged the word out with wariness.

“Oh good. Are you going there tonight?” With her sneakers,
yoga pants, and tank top covered up by a workout jacket, it was a strong guess.

“Uh huh.”

“Can I come?”

She blinked several times. “Ummm.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“I, uh, don’t have a pass for you.”

“Oh, most gyms let first-timers come in without a problem,
hoping you’ll sign up. You just sign a waiver.”

“Uh, then I guess so.”

“Cool. I have some clothes in my car. I’ll follow you
there.”

Allana

While I set up the studio, I kept my classes going at the
gym. My bills were piling up with the new business and I had to make whatever
money I could before the grand opening.

Thursday night, many of my regulars came early to claim
their normal spots. They were creatures of habit; they liked to stick to the
same areas each time. A couple of new faces appeared as the space filled in.
Then I saw one unexpected one.

Mike walked into class with Lily.

She avoided eye contact at first. With persistence, I wore
her down and widened my eyes to communicate my confusion.
What the hell is
going on?

She shrugged. At least she had the decency to look sheepish.
Instead of rolling out her purple yoga map up front near me where she usually
sat, she grabbed a spare mat for Mike and set them up at the back of class.

This was going to be interesting.

“Hi, my name is Ally. Are any of you new to my classes?”

I noticed the raised hands, including Mike’s.

“How about new to yoga in general?”

Fewer hands rose, but Mike wasn’t one of them.

What the heck was he doing here?

“Welcome. This is a class for all levels so I’ll show you
the different variations on whether you’re a beginner or advanced. Yoga is for everyone
and we can all find a way to benefit from the practice. No matter what your
experience, you can pick the challenges that work best for you and help you get
where you want to be.”

I played soothing music to get us into a more relaxing
mindset and then led the class in an opening breathing exercise and warm-up before
progressing into a downward/upward facing dog sequence.

Great, now my ass is prominently displayed.

I’d never been self-conscious about this position before.
Then again, I’d never had a rock star in my class with whom I’d been in a
comprising position, with him behind me. A memory of our first night, with him
pounding me from behind as I gripped my bed rails, entered my mind and I shook
it away.

This is ridiculous. Don’t think about sex right now. So
inappropriate. What’s wrong with you?

No doubt about it, having him in class was throwing me off.

I continued to demonstrate the sequence, taking a deep
cleansing breath to refocus. When I cleared my mind of intruding thoughts of
sex with Mike, I walked around the room to make sure everyone had proper form.
Aligning some hips, positioning feet, coaxing hunched shoulders to relax.

From the back of the room, Mike caught my eye. He was off
balance. Whereas most of the class had settled into downward facing dog, he was
in constant motion, moving from foot to foot in an effort to balance.

Lily had a small smile on her face she tried to stifle, but
when I caught her eye, she grinned with so much teeth, I knew she was a split
second away from bursting into hysterics. She looked down, but I could see her
shoulders shake and knew she was trying to contain it. Seeing her response
showed me the humorous side of this situation, how ridiculous this was, with Mike
and my sexual encounters the elephant in the room. My mouth twitched into a
grin. Before I broke out into convulsions, I took deep breaths so I could
continue instructing the class.

Even if he didn’t raise his hand, Mike appeared to have
never tried yoga in his life. And as a beginner in my class who was struggling,
I had to act the way an instructor would with any student and help him out.
Although I wasn’t sure what his motive was in coming here, I couldn’t ignore
him forever. I would have to be professional and treat him like any other
newcomer to my class, but I approached him with wariness.

He’s just another client. He’s just another client.

“Can I help you with your form?” I asked.

“Yes, please.” His voice signaled relief.

“First, let’s get your hands and feet properly aligned on
the mat.”

I helped him position his feet first, which wasn’t so bad.
But when I touched his hands, a warm sensation came over me. Images of him
touching my body returned. The skilled hands of a guitarist who honed his
skills through hours of practice.

Focus. Be a professional. Don’t think about anything else
except helping him as a new student.

“Your shoulders are hunched. You seem tense.”

“You could say that,” he said under his breath.

“Inhale deeply through your nose. Now exhale through your
mouth. When you do, let your shoulders drop. Let them relax.”

He followed what I said and his shoulders dropped.

“Good. If you focus on your breathing, you help relax your
body and your mind will follow. Now take another deep breath in and exhale
slowly.” While he focused on the breath, I helped him align his shoulders and
placed my hands over the blades in a soothing motion. For any other client,
this would be nothing more than a teacher helping a student. Touching him, it
was more. So. Much. More.

I took in his every detail. The curve of the muscles in his
shoulder blades and back. The way the muscles elongated in his tattoo-covered arms,
toned from all the hours playing guitar. The swell of his ass against his
shorts. The way all the muscles in his legs stretched taut. He had defined
calves, with a tattoo of daggers on each.

“I’m going to adjust your hips now. Do you have any mobility
issues I need to be aware of?”

If I remembered correctly, and I did, he thrusted them with
agility and prowess as he drilled into me.

“No.” He flashed a boyish grin that shot flutters into me.
“Unless you mean balance and coordination. I seem to have numerous issues
there.”

“You’re doing fine.” I returned the smile and placed my
hands on his hips, directing him to properly align them in the downward facing dog
position.

“Good,” I said. “Stay just like this.”

I shot Ally a look to indicate how I’d kill her after class.
She grinned and I could see how humorous she found this by the shiny glint in
her eye.

Mike

This had to be one of the stupidest ideas I’ve had. What was
I doing? Trying to impress her by making a jackass of myself?

Why didn’t I admit I was a beginner to yoga? I thought it
would be as easy as stretching, simple to pull off. Not so.

I followed Allana’s instructions the best I could. While everyone
in class seemed to know what to do next, I tripped all over myself trying to
follow along to some bizarre-sounding positions. Upward facing dog, downward
facing dog, pigeons, trees. Stacking my hips. What the heck did that mean? Even
when Allana guided me, my body rebelled against what everyone else seemed to do
naturally.

I was not built to do yoga. The only position I could do was
child’s pose, just bend my knees and lie down. In fact, I would have loved it
if she let me stay in that position for the rest of class.

When she demonstrated warrior poses, I stood straighter.
That sounded more my style than all these up dog/down dog things.

Allana approached me and I held my chest up higher.

“You’re doing just fine.” She spoke low so only the two of
us could hear. “Don’t compare yourself to others. Just focus on yourself.”

I beamed like an idiot from the praise. Surely she was
saying that to encourage me not to quit in mid-class. The urge to flee had come
up more than once, but once I started I had to stick it out.

Even though I made a total ass out of myself, once I caught
on to a couple of concepts she kept coming back to like down dog and up dog, I
started to get into it. Maybe it just took getting used to.

“Now for the meditation.” She turned down the lights and
played a mellow instrumental that had low chanting. “Lie on your back. Relax
your legs about shoulder width apart and let your feet open to the sides. Lay
your arms next to your body with palms up. Lower your chin to your chest and
relax your neck.”

Ah, I’d made it to the end. I should be able to do this
part.

“Close your eyes. Take a deep breath in through your nose.
Fill up your lungs, let them expand, continue to breathe all the way into your
belly. Hold it for three. Now exhale through your mouth. Relaxing your body on
the exhale.”

My body did feel more relaxed. The long deep breath did
something to help me slow down.

“Bring awareness to your right leg. Squeeze it as you
inhale. Relax it as you exhale. Now with the left leg.”

She continued having us bring awareness to other parts of
our body, our arms, chest, buttocks, neck, face, jaw, even the mouth and eyes.
Then she guided us to release any remaining tension. We started at the tips of
the toes and then went up through our feet, ankles, legs, continuing through
our body all the way up to our head. We lay there for several minutes and focused
on the breathing and getting rid of any tension left in our bodies.

I actually liked this part, not realizing how much tension I
had until it left my body. After stretching myself uncomfortably during the
postures for what felt like three days, this gentle closing felt like a reward.
Now relaxed, I was on the verge of sleep. Pleasant memories tugged at my
subconscious, remembering how good it felt to sleep with Allana wrapped in my
arms.

Lily nudged me and I opened my eyes. People were rolling up
their mats. Had I fallen asleep? Great. Just great. Not only did I make a fool
out of myself in her class, I fell asleep in it.

A few people thanked Allana before they grabbed their mats
and left. Several others surrounded her, talking about who knows what.

“Wow, she’s pretty popular here, huh?” I asked Lily.

Lily said, “One of the most popular instructors here.
They’ll be just a minute.” She rolled her mat and I copied what she did. While
hers was tight, fitting neatly into the straps she ran it through, my loaner
appeared to be rolled up by a two-year-old with a short attention span.

“It’s good enough,” she said and picked it up, dropping it
into a bin behind us.

After everyone else had left, Allana approached with venom
in her eyes. “You’ve never done yoga before, have you?”

“No,” I admitted.

“Why didn’t you say so when I asked?”

“I wanted to impress you.”

She shook her head as if trying to understand what I had just
said. “O-kay.” She clucked her tongue. “I have one question that’s been driving
me nuts the entire class.”

“What’s that?” I asked.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“Hey,” I raised my hand. “That doesn’t sound like talk from
a yoga instructor. What about Namaste and all that?”

“You come into my class,” she continued pointing at my
chest, “throwing me off and disrupting my professional workspace.” She spun to
face Lily. “What’s going on and why didn’t you give me a heads-up?”

“I called,” Lily said. “It went right into voice mail. He
wanted to come check out your class.”

“Yes,” I said, stepping up. Although I enjoyed the respite
from her venomous glare, I couldn’t let Lily take all the heat since it was my
ridiculous idea. “I decided to try yoga as my New Year’s resolution to get more
balance in my life. And I heard you’re very good.”

Her eyes widened with such exasperation, I thought she would
blow. “Out of the studio,” she commanded. “This is not the place for this
discussion.” She strode through the gym and we followed, giving each other
sheepish looks. I caught several men in the gym follow her with their eyes and
I wanted to disrupt their gawking with a dumbbell to the forehead. Lily led us
outside. Although it was January and cold enough to snow, I didn’t dare
complain that we were outside in only our workout clothes.

She tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder in frustration
and drilled me with a penetrating look. “I don’t know what your game is, but I
don’t have time for bullshit right now.”

“I’m not playing a game,” I protested.

“Then why are you here? Don’t give me this New Year’s
resolution crap. I was with you that night and you said you didn’t give two
shits about bullshit resolutions people would break before month’s end.”

Lily interrupted. “Um, I think I should excuse myself since
this is between the two of you. Talk to you later, Ally.”

“Oh, we’ll talk about this all right.” She flashed her
blazing eyes at Lily and then back at me.

“I don’t know what came over me. I wanted to see you.”

“Are you stalking me? Coming to my work like this? Why
didn’t you just call like a normal person?”

“I don’t know, it just happened. We were at practice. Lily
stopped by. She had a yoga mat in hand and I knew she was coming to see you.” I
raised my hands by my sides and shrugged. “I don’t know why you’re so pissed
about it, though. What’s the big deal?”

“What’s the big deal?” she repeated with incredulity. “You
come into my class, completely disrupting everything.”

“Why am I such a disruption? Because I couldn’t do the moves
right?”

“No, because we just slept together again! How could I
concentrate on teaching my class when I had a constant reminder of what we did
coming at me.”

If this was supposed to dissuade me, it had the opposite
effect. My face lit up with a wide grin. “So you’ve been thinking about me?”

“I don’t get you.” Her voice went up an octave. “You’re
happy to have a one-night fling with me, but then show up at my work.”

“I was thinking about you,” I admitted. “I wanted to see you
and make sure you’re okay.”

She rolled her eyes. “Not that again. The whole ‘I feel
protective of you.’ I don’t buy that. You barely even know me!”

Ouch. She had a point. We’d only seen each other a handful
of times. “I told you. I can’t explain it.”

We both stared at each other; I don’t think either of us
knew what to say next.

After several moments where the only sound was her rapid
breathing, I asked, “Can I start over? I have a habit of saying the wrong
things, but I didn’t mean to come here to upset you.”