Rocked (5 page)

"That must suck, working all night. I know regular people like to do things during the day."

"Yeah, but I'm getting used to it."

"Me too. Can you believe I used to be a morning person? When I was a kid I was always the first one up. I'd watch the sun come up on Saturday mornings and wait for my folks to get up for breakfast. Now I always see the sun rise at the end of my day, not the beginning."

I imagined a little Joe gazing out the window dreamily and smiled. I'd been grinning so much my face was starting to hurt but I loved it.

"Um, wow. That was a really lame story."

"No," I assured him. "It was sweet. I like your sweet side."

"Don't tell anyone, I've got an image to protect here."

"I won't say anything about the country's next rock sensation being a secret sensitive guy."

"Oh god," he groaned. "I hate that shit. I just like playing music. The rest of it is bullshit."

"Yeah but you have to take the shit to get to the good stuff, right?"

"Uh huh, I guess. So, you working tonight?"

"Yup. Graveyard shift as usual."

"At least that guy, the cook seemed pretty chill."

"Darrell? He's the owner. And yeah, he's great. Sometimes he even sends me home early with pay when it's really slow."

"Wow, that is nice."

"He's the best boss I've ever had. And I don't even mind being stuck with him all night that much. We just chat or listen to the radio."

"I wish I was there. I'd come in every night for french toast with bacon."

"Yeah and you'd be as fat as me in a month."

"Hey," he said, suddenly serious. "Why do you do that?"

"What?"

"Cut yourself down all the time. You're a super-hot girl, Liss."

"I'd be better thinner but it isn't in the cards for me."

"I think you're perfect. I've seen every inch of you and they're all wonderful."

"I'm glad someone thinks so."

"Damn right I do. Each creamy soft curve is seared into my brain. I'll be thinking about them until I see you again."

"Oh god, stop. You're really embarrassing me."

"Sorry babe, but I can't help it. You drive me wild."

I buried my face in my hands and made a tiny whimpering noise.

"I wish I was with you," he said practically in a whisper. "I'd show you how gorgeous you are. Give you a tour of my favorite places on your body until you understand."

A rush of heat went through me and I almost moaned. I could imagine him doing just that, using his amazing hands to make be scream. I closed my eyes and could feel him there, callused fingertips caressing me from head to toe and back again.

"Um, on that note, I should probably get to sleep, Joe. I have to go grocery shopping at some point today."

"Okay." His voice was husky and I knew he'd been remembering our night together as vividly as I had. "Can I call you tomorrow?"

"Sure. Have a good day."

"You too. Sweet dreams, Liss."

I hung up and kept the phone cradled in my hands, wishing he was really there with me.

I tossed fitfully for a few hours and then gave up. My mind was too full of Joe's words and my body too hungry for his touch to rest peacefully. It wasn't that our phone conversation had been so deep. It was just normal getting to know each other chatter. But it felt so natural. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had such a nice time talking to someone new, let alone a guy.

There was just something magical about Joe. He made me feel smart and strong and beautiful, but nervous and scared and insecure all at the same time. It was confusing and maddening and wonderful. And sexy. Can't forget that. But this was beyond attraction into something real. It scared and excited me. I couldn't wait to see him again, or even just hear his voice.

Which reminded me about the interview he'd mentioned. That was a safe way to hear Joe talk without coming off like a stalker. I searched on my phone for a while and found the radio station. The interview would be starting in a few minutes. I pulled up the live feed and got up. By the time I was showered and dressed they'd already started.

The guy who'd answered Joe's phone earlier was talking. He was telling a story about how their hit single, Full Dark, had been written. It was funny and interesting and I had to say I was impressed. The band was easygoing and professional without seeming full of themselves. But they also came off as fun guys to hang out with. I could vouch for one of the personally, but the others seemed great too.

I was listening and cleaning, trying to get my place in some kind of order. So many late nights left things a little messy, which I didn't care for. I'd been brought up to think a clean house led to a clean mind and it stuck. I was floating on a cloud and actually whistling a little while I worked. Couldn't help it. All of the sudden I had things to look forward to and this exciting man who liked me. My monotonous life had changed over the course of a few wonderful nights.

But when Joe's sensual voice sounded out of the tinny speakers I dropped the things I was folding and sat down.

"Thanks for having us, Shanelle. We're excited about tonight's show."

"So is the whole town. But tell us, Joe, how are you handling this new level of fame?"

"We're doing great." He laughed. "Not sleeping much but who cares. We're having a blast."

"Sleep? That's not very rock and roll."

"True. But we are doing a lot of partying which definitely
is
rock and roll."

"Oooh, that sounds juicy. Got any wild stories?"

"Tons." His voice lowered in that way I'd come to adore. "But I never kiss and tell. And none of us party and tell."

"Oh come on. There must be something you can share. Your fans want to know. What's it like to hang out with the members of Dream Defiled. From the lyrics of your single you boys get pretty out of control when it gets dark."

"Not a chance I'm spilling anything. The guys would kill me. Or return the favor."

Everyone laughed and I did too. He was good at this. Being friendly but protecting his privacy.

"All right, all right. We give up," the radio station host said. "But there's one thing we need to know. I think everyone out there saw the photos from last month of you guys partying with some Playmates. How was that? Did we seal any deals, if you know what I mean?"

The British guy whose name I missed hurried to pipe in. "I got tons of numbers. But my boy Joe here got all the attention. Surrounded by girls."

"And? Did you meet anyone special?"

""No comment," was all Joe said."

"Uh oh, someone doesn't want to talk. Are we getting you in trouble with your girlfriend?"

"No, I don't have a girlfriend. Single and very happy that way. The only relationship I want right now is with this awesome mini tour we're about to start."

And with that he turned the interview around to the band's schedule and all talk of relationships was over. So was my good mood. I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. Joe and I weren't dating exactly, but there was something between us. He'd made that clear. Was I just a stop on the tour after all? Something to entertain him between gigs?

I wanted to kick myself. The second I found out who he was I knew this would happen. My life wasn't a fairytale. The handsome rock prince wasn't going to rescue me and take me away to his tour bus castle. It was so embarrassing. There I was listening to his interview like some dutiful girlfriend after only a couple of days. I was ashamed of myself for being so pathetically needy. For all of Joe's promises that he found me sexy he'd hate this side of me if he saw it. The real me. The fat loser who glommed on to the first guy to pay her any attention in a long time because her own life was too sad and lonely to deal with.

Disgusted with myself and angry with Joe for no good reason I shut off the station just as he was talking about something he'd been working on during the ride down there on the tour bus. I grabbed my keys and left for the grocery store. If I couldn't be happy I would at least be well-fed.

~*~

By the time I got to work that night my anger had settled into a deep weariness. The truth was I'd done this to myself. My desire to have something amazing in my life, something to lift me out of my rut had turned my brain to mush just as much as Joe's kisses. I'd read too much into a simple attraction and was paying the price.

As I handed out burgers and fries and collected money I resolved to stop fantasizing about what could be and deal with what was. Kelly had promised to stop by later which was great. She and Darrell would keep my spirits up and I would be fine.

Around eight o'clock the diner emptied. A sense of calm came over me and I went about my work, thinking about nothing but the next task on my list. When a flash of memory of Joe's hands on my body came I pushed it away. If I caught a glimpse of concern on Darrell's face I made a silly face and shimmied across the floor to make him smile.

When Kelly came in I'd convinced myself everything was fine and I greeted her with genuine happiness.

"Sorry I'm late," she said, sliding into a booth. "I need a million cups of coffee."

"You got it." I poured her one and put it down on the table. "What's up?"

"I'm so behind on stuff, Liss. It's terrible. I've got a ton of reading." She pulled two huge textbooks out of her bag and plopped them on the table.

"Ouch. Well I'll leave you to it. Hungry?"

"Always." She tucked her long red hair behind her ears and took a deep breath. "Pie me and let's chat before I get to work on this mountain of boring crap."

"Okay." I fetched her a slice of apple pie and sat down with her for a minute. "Aside from all that reading how's school going?"

"Fine, I guess. Ask me after midterms." She ate a bite and closed her eyes. "Yum. Look, I want to know what's up with you and that guy from Dream Defiled. You seemed pretty cozy the other night."

I shook my head. "Nothing's going on. And I don't want to talk about it."

Kelly frowned and patted my hand while she ate. "Okay, I get it. Sorry. I guess I was thinking that song might be about you after seeing you together. Which would be a dream, right? I mean god, I can barely get the guys at school to ask their roommate to leave before we hook up. I can't imagine one writing a song about me. I'd settle for removing the old pizza boxes from their dorm room…"

She kept talking but I wasn't listening anymore. Joe's words were echoing in my head. The only relationship he wanted was with the tour. Happily single.

"Wait, what song?"

Kelly shrugged. "Something they played off the cuff this morning. I guess it isn't out yet but the local rock station has been repeating it all day. I heard it in my car on the way down here."

It must have been what Joe was talking about when I turned off the interview. "Well, whatever. Um, I need to go refill the sugars but yell if you need anything, okay?"

"Wait," she said, putting down her fork. "I'm sorry. I just got carried away."

"So did I. In more ways than one." Blinking back tears I headed behind the counter to do something—anything—to take my mind off of the pain in my stomach and in my heart.

Unfortunately Darrell had been listening and was in full Papa Bear mode. "Kiddo, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Hey, how about some of those oldies you love? I could use some upbeat music."

"Sure. The guys were playing some other nonsense earlier. Let me fiddle with this damn thing." He went over to the radio and turned it on.

The first thing I heard was a low soulful voice singing, "…for you." Just two words and I knew it was Joe. The song continued, raw and sweet. He strummed along with an acoustic guitar that left plenty of space for the smooth, deep sound of his voice. I covered my mouth to keep from wailing as every note seared right through me.

Darrell reached out to change the station and I stopped him. "Wait. I I need to hear this. Get this nonsense out of my system once and for all."

Joe sang on and every note was a dagger to my heart. The song was wonderful. Tough and tender, just like the man singing it. I sighed as it ended and gestured to Darrell that he could change to something else. I was about to go hide in the bathroom to cry when Joe started talking again.

"So yeah, this is the world preview I guess. It's called 'Spark' for now."

"And you said you've just written this song. Tell us what the inspiration was."

"I'm a simple rock guy. I don't get inspired by oceans or history. The song is about meeting someone you spark with right away. In this case literally. Someone who makes you feel sane in the midst of insanity even though the intensity scares you. It happened so I wrote it."

The world tilted and I almost fell down. I looked at my fingers and remembered the shocks that sparked between us and played back the lyrics in my mind. Kelly wasn't crazy. This song was about me. Joe wrote it about me.

"I…I…"

"Liss, are you okay?"

Kelly and Darrell were both staring at me but I couldn't reassure them or even reply. I needed to see Joe, talk to him. Glancing at the clock I frowned. It was after nine already. I pulled out my phone and called him, but it went straight to voicemail.

"Damn it. I am such an idiot."

Kelly grabbed my arm. "What are you talking about? What happened?"

"Kel, you were right. That song
is
about me. And I've spent the whole day writing Joe off as a casual fling. But that didn't sound casual to me."

She beamed and hugged me. "Not a bit. He's into you."

Darrell came out of the kitchen and stood in front of me. "What's going on here?"

Kelly slapped my arm. "This sexy bitch has hooked a rock star."

He laughed. "Oh yeah? Then what are you doing here, Miss Fancy Lady?"

In a daze I looked at him. "I tried to call but he didn't answer."

"Oh well, you'll get him later I'm sure. Just remember us little people when you're in your mansion having orgies and shopping sprees and drug binges." With that he went back to work.

Kelly rolled her eyes. "Ignore him. This is so romantic! Where is Joe right now?"