Rock the City: A Midnight Fate Novel (35 page)

“You left treatment on your own? He didn’t force you?” I ask her.

Like she’s ashamed, her face reddens and turns away from us. “I had no choice. It was either leave the center peacefully and face whatever consequences were waiting for me, or stay and have him hurt all of you.”

Lane gets down on his knees in front of her, like being on her level will somehow make her see the truth faster. “He did hurt Noelle, and pulling you out of therapy wasn’t for his benefit. It was to put a barrier between him and Trey. He’s using you like he always does.”

“You don’t think I know that? I mean, look at her!” she yells as she points to me. “He’s fucked me up like that more times than I can count.”

Like Lemon slapped him across the face, he grits his teeth. “You never should have left with him. It was stupid and risky.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time I heard that either.”

“And that doesn’t piss you off enough to want to get out of this shit hole? Jesus, Lemon. I can’t figure out how I can be so scared for you when you don’t seem to give a shit about what happens to you or the baby. At least give the kid a fighting chance if you’ve given up on yourself.”

Something in Lemon snaps, and she pushes him away. Screaming at the top of her lungs, she wails, “I gave up years ago, Lane. This is me doing what will hurt
me
the least because I’m tired of being pushed around. I’m the only one who can protect myself!”

“What about the baby?”

“I don’t want this fucking baby! You’re just like all the therapists. They don’t give a shit about me. It’s only what they can do for this kid.”

“You don’t mean that,” I tell her, praying she’s just angry and doesn’t feel that way about her own child.

Her voice still laced with venom, she walks closer to me. “Noelle, you don’t get it. You have no idea what it’s like to be forced to carry around all your sins. Look at me! All this baby does is remind me of all the things I
hate
.”

She trips over a case of soda sitting by the fridge and loses her balance. Reed lunges for her before she falls, but she manages to brace herself on the edge of the countertop, keeping her from falling.

We breathe a collective sigh of relief, but none of us expects her to turn around with a knife in her hand. Pointing the tip at Lane, waving it back and forth at him, she points to the door. “Leave. All of you. I don’t need your help anymore.”

Lane moves toward her and my heart drops to my stomach. “What are you doing? Put the knife down,” he tells her with little pity.

Her hand shakes as the long blade dwarfs her. “Trey’s made it clear what he’ll do to me if I have this baby. I don’t want to die, Lane. I’ve had a shit life, and I’m tired of being pushed around.”

I move closer to the both of them, praying I can be the voice of reason. “Lemon, you don’t have to go out like this. Put the knife down and talk this out with me.”

“You don’t get it,” she hisses. “Trey may be behind bars, but he’ll do whatever it takes to get his revenge however he sees fit. If I don’t end this now, he’ll end it for me. This is me telling him to fuck off. He doesn’t own me.”

“I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you both safe,” Lane pleads. “I’ll spend every penny in my bank account to make you disappear from Trey’s radar.”

She stares at her swollen stomach, her hand rubbing circles around and around until her anger starts to fade away and tears leak from her eyes. The weight of her own guilt starts to crush her. “I wasn’t always clean, Lane. There’s a good chance I already ruined its life all on my own.”

“That’s why I need you to go back to the doctors, Lemon. They’ll keep you clean and get you on the right track.”

“What good will that do if this baby turns into Rusty? It has both of our fucked-up genes.”

“When the baby’s born, it’ll have the best medical care I can find. Your baby doesn’t have to suffer—neither of you have to suffer. I’ll give you a better life.”

The more Lane begs her to listen to him, the closer she lets him get to her. She’s close enough that he could grab the knife out of her hand if he tried, but he’s already gone a round with a blade, and I’m not about to let him lose to it twice.

Lemon’s chin quivers when she says, “I can’t be a mother to a baby I don’t even like. If it’s a boy, he’ll look just like Rusty. I can’t look into those eyes and feel anything but hate.”

I stand tall next to Lane, wanting her to see we’re not the enemy. “You have options. There are so many people in this world who would love your baby. So many who can’t have one of their own.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel like shit for not wanting one?”

“No,” I tell her. “It’s supposed to help you realize that just because you
can
have a baby, it doesn’t mean you should or that you have to. Life happens, Lemon. Really shitty things happen to good people—stuff that’s so out of their control, they have no choice but to succumb to it. Right now, you’re doing the best you can with what you have. Nobody faults you for that.”

“I did drugs. I’ve stolen things. I’ve danced naked in front of men for money. I’m not a good person. I’ll never be like you, Noelle.”

“The only person you have to be is who you are.”

She thinks about it for a second, trying to connect the dots inside her own head. I can tell she’s struggling when she finally says, “What if I’m not sure who I am?”

“Then we can figure it out together. You still have a lifetime to explore. Don’t make today your last.”

“And If I’m not sure I want to go beyond today?”

“I would tell you I believe you, because a person can only take so much before they crack down the middle. You’re broken, Lemon, but I promise you can be fixed.”

As I’m talking, I take a chance and run my hand down her arm until my fingers are covering her hand. I don’t try to take the knife from her; all I do is leave my hand there so she can choose to let go when she’s ready.

“I’m not sure there’s enough counseling in the world to save someone like me.”

“If you want this life, you’ll get it back. You’ll do the right thing.”

“What will happen to the baby?”

Without a moment of hesitation, I tell her, “I’ll take the baby.”

Lane’s been quiet, letting the two of us talk, but he steps closer, his eyes wild as they look back and forth between the two of us. “What are you saying?”

Lemon’s listening as closely as he is for an answer, hanging on my every word. But I didn’t plan this or expect those words to tumble from my lips. All I know is that I said it—and I meant it.

Still, a tear trickles down my cheek and I turn to Lane with my heart in my hands. “I’m saying I’m all in. We can raise this baby together, if that’s what she decides she wants. All I’m doing is offering.”

“What about me?” Lemon whispers. “What happens to me?”

Her words are spoken like a child half her age, desperate for the love she’s been denied her whole life. I refuse to let her drown for one more day. Today has to be the start of something new for all of us, because I don’t want this constant arguing and battling to become our forever. “History doesn’t have to repeat itself.”

“You’ll really take care of my baby?” Lemon asks, as the knife tumbles from her hand and falls to the floor.

I glance at Lane, wanting him to give me any kind of clue as to how he’s feeling. I realize I threw it out in the open without asking him, but I’d do it all over again if it meant that baby was safe and Lemon was happy.

With questions lingering behind his eyes, he tells Lemon, “We’ll make sure the baby is taken care of and loved. I promise.”

It’s not a lie, yet he’s careful with his words, not wanting to make promises he can’t keep. Whether we end up keeping the baby or not, it
will
be loved. It’ll be given a real chance at life without the world against it before it even opens its eyes or takes its first breath.

Lemon breaks down, falling to her knees on the cracked linoleum floor. “I’m so sorry for putting you both through hell. Please don’t hate me for what I’ve done.”

I hold her in my arms, wondering how we got here. How life got so complicated so fast. And how she ended up with a knife in her hand, convinced she could end it all and be done with this life. “We could never hate you, Lemon. Never.”

“You think I can really do this?”

Do I think she can stay clean and out of trouble? I do—if she takes the help we’re offering and agrees to start over fresh. She doesn’t have a chance in hell if she stays here with people who are determined to destroy her. “
We
can do this, Lemon. You’re not alone.”

Whether we end up raising her baby or if she ends up changing her mind and wants to do it herself, we’ll support her no matter what. That’s what family does.

After dropping Lemon off at The Behavioral Center, I talked the staff into letting Reed stay until tensions died down and we heard something about Rusty. She begged to let her stay with us long enough for her to get some sleep, but I couldn’t risk her leaving or something happening to her before we got her back where she belongs.

Noelle’s been passed out since we got off the turnpike, and I can barely keep my eyes open as I carry her into the elevator and lean against the wall for support. I haven’t pulled an all-nighter since the tour, and my body’s pretty pissed off.

As soon as the elevator doors open, Dom’s standing there waiting to get on. “Lane? You’re just getting home?”

“It’s been a long-ass night.”

He sees Noelle’s bruises and cringes. “Is she okay?”

“She will be. I’ll tell you about it after I get some sleep.”

Dom nods, never one to pry for information.

I turn toward the condo but, like he forgot, he says, “Did you hear?”

After our night, I’m almost afraid to ask. “Hear what? I’ve heard all kinds of shit the last two days.”

He holds up the newspaper in his hands and I’m positive we’re front page news this morning, too. “They figured out who fucked with our last show. Some guy named Travers.”

My arms almost give out, but Dom’s right there, making sure Noelle gets inside without me dropping her. I follow him, shocked even though nothing concerning Rusty should surprise me anymore. “What else did you hear?”

“Just that he wasn’t working alone. They’re charging him, but his ass is already in jail for something else. Go figure.”

“Yeah.” I’m glad they’re nailing him on multiple charges, mostly because that means he’ll be out of our lives longer, but it eats away at me that he’s been trying to hit me where it hurts for longer than I thought.

“Go get some sleep, Lane. You look like shit.”

“I plan on it.” I do need to sleep, but now all I can think about is how close they were to taking Noelle down that night. It also means tonight wasn’t the first time Rusty got to her. I don’t know which makes me sicker—the fact that they’ve been watching us so closely for weeks, or the fact that we’ve managed to dodge fate twice.

I’m hunched over the island, trying to calm myself down before I go to bed when two hands as cold as ice slip under the hem of my shirt and press against my warm skin.

As I turn around, she moves them to my stomach, her fingertips tickling the ridges of my abs. “What are you doing up? You should be asleep.”