Rock the City: A Midnight Fate Novel (21 page)

The knife gets shoved in my gut a little harder when I can hear the sounds of Lemon’s sobs through the closed door. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. She was supposed to be okay—happy even. But every bit of happiness I seem to find pushes her farther into a darkened corner. The darkness isn’t going to be happy until it’s completely destroyed my entire family. One person at a time.

The second Lane’s door slams, Lemon breaks down. As each wave of sadness washes over her, her faith in him slowly starts to fade away like her confidence did all those years ago.

I want to make it better for her, but all I can do is hold her in my arms, rubbing her back and consoling her like a friend would do—even if I don’t know what I’m doing any more than she does. Regardless, we cling to each other, our connection suddenly so strong I feel like I’ve known Lemon all my life. Probably because a small part of me understands what it’s like to want to be loved so desperately that you’d do anything for that tiny bit of acceptance you’re searching for.

“What can I do?” I whisper against her long strands of blond hair.

“Nothing,” she responds hopelessly. “He’ll never forgive me for this.”

That’s where she’s wrong. Lane can be quick to lose his temper, but that’s only because he never learned how to manage his anger. He always comes around once he’s had a chance to think things through and realize there’s a way out of everything if you want a solution bad enough. Granted, we’ve never had a child to deal with, but together, the three of us aren’t going to fail. That’s why I tell her, “He’s only angry because he loves you so much. If he didn’t care, he wouldn’t have had to walk away.”

Half laughing, she wipes her cheek with the back of her hand, toughening up a little bit more. It’s a good thing because, if she’s going to be a mother, she’s going to need nerves of steel once her heart starts walking around outside her body.

“Noelle, I shouldn’t even be crying. I should be used to this. People have been walking away all my life.”

“Well, today’s a new day. Lane’s not going anywhere and neither am I, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Now, how long have you known about the baby?”

“Since yesterday morning. That’s how this whole thing started. I took a test and Rusty found it in my drawer. I shouldn’t have saved it, but I felt like I needed to hang onto the proof that I wasn’t imagining it.”

“You need to see a doctor.”

“I can’t. If I go, Trey will find out because I’ll have to ask him for money. It’s not like I have insurance.”

“Why are you so worried about keeping Trey happy? Isn’t he locked up?”

“He is, but he still calls all the shots—even from the inside. He has people watching me.”

“Do you love him?” It’s probably a stupid question, but I ask it anyway, trying my hardest to figure out what we’re dealing with. Because if love’s the root of this, it’s going to get a whole lot messier before it gets any better.

Lemon’s twenty-seven years old, a woman old enough to fend for herself and take care of a baby, but inside, she’s still the little girl she was when her mom died and her dad stayed away at sea when she needed him the most. She’s the same girl who’s so familiar with death and the scars of abuse she doesn’t think there could possibly be a world beyond it.

It’s time to break the cycle. It’s time Lemon sees life doesn’t have to be all about who you owe and what you can give them. I want her to discover that there’s so much
more
.

“I don’t think I ever loved Trey, and I’m pretty sure I hate Rusty. For a little while, I thought maybe I could love one of them, maybe even both, but after Trey went to jail, things changed. He wasn’t the same person, and I didn’t want to keep lying and stealing my way through life either.”

“That’s a good realization, but how did you end up at Rusty’s if you’re with Trey?”

“Eventually, once I accepted Trey wasn’t coming back for a long time, I needed a place to stay. The cops took his trailer and locked it up. Because I didn’t make enough on my own to afford it, I couldn’t get it back even if Trey had left it to me. The only reason I ended up at Rusty’s place was because he found me sitting on the front step at Trey’s. He promised he’d help me figure things out.”

“But he only made it worse, right?” I ask her.

Lemon’s face reddens and she looks like she’d rather slither away from the condo and pretend today never happened, but she’s just as stuck now as she was back then. “Rusty said I had to earn my keep or he’d tell Trey I was taking advantage of the situation. I wanted Rusty to like me and Trey to still want me, so I started giving most of the money I made at Lola’s to Rusty for rent and working off the rest. At first, that just meant cleaning the house and doing the laundry. I even cooked him dinner every night, but after a couple of months, that stopped being enough for him. His attitude toward me really changed once things became sexual. He stopped treating me like a friend and more like his personal plaything.

“I knew what we did at night didn’t make me his girlfriend and that it wasn’t okay for him to be so possessive, especially since I was supposed to stay loyal to Trey, but I had nowhere else to go. If I didn’t play by his rules and do what he told me, I’d have to sleep under the bridge with the other junkies.”

“You did what you had to do to survive. There’s no shame in that, Lemon. But I want you to understand that you can’t go back to Sea Port, especially now that you’re pregnant. This baby has to come first, over everything else.”

Like reality just slapped her in the face, her bottom lip quivers until she breaks down into tears again, sobbing into her hands like she did when Lane walked away from her. “What am I going to do, Noelle? I have nothing to offer a child. I can’t even take care of myself.”

“We’re going to help you, Lemon. You’re not alone anymore.”

“I can’t put you and Lane in the middle of this. Now that Rusty knows I’m pregnant with his baby, he’ll do whatever it takes to find me. Because if Trey finds out the truth before Rusty has a chance to take care of it, Trey will kill him.”

My heart races as she talks about what she’s facing, the layers getting more and more complex as the story builds. What sticks in my mind the most is the way she said Rusty would ‘take care of it.’

“Do you want this baby?” I ask her, almost afraid to hear her answer.

“I’m not ready to be a mom, but I don’t want to hurt it or make it go away.”

I sigh in relief, thankful she’s not adamant about ending her pregnancy. Even though it’s not my decision to make, there’s no way in hell I’d let her make that kind of permanent decision without some serious counseling.

Even if she doesn’t want to raise him or her, there are so many women in this world who can’t have children of their own and would do just about anything to become a mother. There are people who would see this baby as a blessing and love it the way Lemon and Lane should have been loved their entire lives. Maybe that’s why it means so much to me that this baby has a fighting chance.

Thankfully, we have time to figure it out, even if Rusty’s threats will be coming sooner rather than later. That’s why I try to be as convincing as I can when I tell her, “We don’t have to find all the answers tonight. Right now, all you have to do is take a shower, change your clothes, and get some rest. Tomorrow, we can find you a doctor and get some answers, okay?”

“But I told you I can’t pay for it.”

“I will. Don’t worry about the money.”

She hesitates like she’s scared she’ll have to add another person to the long list of ones she owes, but I shake my head, squashing that thought before it has a chance to materialize. “You’re sure? It’s so expensive,” she questions one more time.

Smiling, I brush her hair off her shoulder and say, “I’ve never been more positive about anything in my whole life. Plus, your brother is Lane Lewis. We’ve got it covered.”

Even though her heart’s breaking, she laughs the tiniest bit. “You’re right. He is pretty badass when he’s not pissed off.”

“Even pissed off, he loves you, Lemon. We’re in this together now.” It’s the honest to God truth. I couldn’t walk away if I tried; there’s too much riding on this happy ending.

“Are you some kind of angel?”

I appreciate her compliment, but I’ve made enough mistakes of my own to last a lifetime. The only real difference that matters between her and me is that I didn’t have to grow up without parents. “Lemon, I’m just a girl from the country who thinks you deserve better. That’s all.”

She stands up and stretches her arms over her head, and I can’t help but chance a peek at her stomach, wondering how far along she might be. Even though her world is the one tipped on its axis, I’m pretty sure mine’s about to be shaken up, too—especially if Lane doesn’t start talking to his sister.

Looking down at me, she says, “I think you’re everything,” before turning and walking toward the guest bedroom, leaving me completely speechless.

My mind was already made up, but after hearing her say those words, I’m making it my own personal mission to bring her baby into this world in the healthiest way possible.

Our breakthrough gives me the strength I need to go talk some sense into her bullheaded brother. Not knowing what to expect when I open the bedroom door, I’m surprised to find him sitting in the middle of the bed with his back against the headboard, his eyes glued to the laptop in front of him.

“What are you working on?” I ask him cautiously.

He lifts his head like he was so wrapped up in what he was doing that he didn’t even hear me come in. “Research.”

After I grab two of Lane’s T-shirts off the shelf in his closet, I change into mine, hoping he’s going to move past the one-word answers.

When I walk out of the closet, his eyes land right on my bare legs. “Where are you going?”

“To give Lemon a shirt to sleep in.”

Colder than usual, he says, “Are we having a slumber party or something?”

I glance at the shirt draped over my arm and then at him. “I thought it was a given she was staying because, mad or not, you can’t expect her to figure this out by herself, Lane.”

That’s when he turns the laptop around and shows me the three different tabs he has open. The first has the names of OB-GYN’s in the city. The second is a list of open condos in the building, and the last one is a website about what to expect during each week of pregnancy. “Does that answer your question?”

If you ask me, Lemon underestimated her brother, and I probably did, too. Maybe he sulked for a little while and almost shattered the mirror hanging above the dresser, but the rest of the time, he’s already been trying to come up with a plan. And I couldn’t love him more for it. “She thinks you hate her.”

“No, she doesn’t,” he tells me as he starts scribbling down the name and address of an office a few blocks away from here.

Even though he’s concentrating, and trying hard to do something good for his sister, I can’t keep my comments to myself. He can go above and beyond for her, but right now, all Lemon wants is love and acceptance from her brother.

I can’t let her go through the rest of the night believing he’s too ashamed to speak to her. Walking around the end of the bed, I take the pen from his hand and set it down on the bed. He raises his brows and sighs, watching as I walk toward the door. With my hand on the knob, I tell him, “Babe, I love you, but she doesn’t know how you feel and it’s tearing her apart inside. Please, don’t push her away when she needs you the most.”