Rock the Boat (26 page)

“I’m sorry, I’m here. I promise.”

He inhales deeply before releasing it. I’m not prepared for the words that follow. “Let me show you how a real man loves a woman,” he says with conviction.

“You’re ready to let go of Shay?”

The doubt on his face tells me all I need to know, but he adds, “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let her go completely. Just like Grant will always have the power to steal your thoughts away from me.”

“I understand.” I’m almost positive I can accept it—eventually. I’ll always worry if I’m enough for him, but I can’t decide if that’s because of her or because of what Grant did to me. Maybe, it’s a little of both, if I’m being honest.

“I know what you’re thinking, Lark. That’s why I want you to stop.”

“Why, Easton?”

“Because I want to crawl inside
your
soul and be consumed by
you
. I want
you
, Lark.”

Shay deserves to rest in peace. If he says he wants me, then who am I to tell him he doesn’t. It’s why I can say, “I believe you,” with complete confidence.

“What changed your mind?”

It would be easy to tell him I’m so tired of going in reverse that I’m desperate to find someone to move toward the future with, but that’s now how I see us. Easton was a chance meeting during a once in a lifetime opportunity. It could have gone completely wrong—with him not possessing a single quality that I needed in my life. But every time I’m with him, I feel wanted, and that’s more than I could ever ask for after feeling so insignificant with Grant.

The only way to explain it to him is to reach for his hand and cover my heart with it. “Do you feel that?”

“Your heart’s pounding, baby.”

“That’s what changed my mind. You make me
feel
again, Easton. I thought all I was capable of was anger and fear.” I let go of his hand, but he keeps it exactly where I put it, still covering my heart. When he does finally move, he drags each fingertip over my breast and down my stomach, leaving a scorching path the entire way. “Where do we go from here?”

“You let me take you to dinner.”

“You don’t have to work?”

He shakes his head, surprising me. “That’s part of what we need to talk about.”

“The contract?”

“Yes,” is all the response I get. He reaches down beside the bed and finds my dress he tossed aside earlier. “I know this dress was for me, but do you want to go to dinner half naked, with only this thin piece of material between us, or do you want to go back to your room and change?”

“I want to go exactly as I came.”

“Fuck, I was hoping you’d say that. As painful as it will be.”

Day Six

At Sea

With Noelle and Gina by my side, I grab a towel and curl up on the lounge chair in the corner of the solarium—the same corner I now remember running to when I was trying to drink myself into oblivion. Unlike the last time I sat here, the weight sitting on my shoulders has been removed. Now that it’s been lifted, I don’t see Easton’s past as a threat anymore—or Gina. I’m not completely naïve, Shay has the power to come between us a time or two before we get it right, but at least now I understand what I’m working with.

Gina flops in the chair beside me, sunglasses covering her eyes even though we’re inside. “I think I’m still drunk.”

“Feeling that good, huh?”

“I would still be in bed if Dom didn’t have to get up for work.”

Noelle grunts in response and even that seems like too much work for her. “You both look pathetic. Didn’t you get any sleep at all last night?”

Gina’s not moving, and she might have already fallen asleep, so I turn to my best friend, wondering what exactly went down last night. We met up with the rest of the band after dinner, but Easton was so anxious to get me back in his bed, we only stayed about ten minutes.

“We drank until morning, I screwed Lane’s brains out, and then we talked about the contract until we fell asleep.”

“Could have done without the first part, but what did Lane tell you about the contract?”

Noelle flips her sunglasses on top of her head, eyeing me suspiciously. “You seriously don’t know what’s going on?”

“No. I didn’t have a chance to discuss it with Easton yet. There were a few other things we had to get out of the way first.”

“Oh, I guess I assumed you were getting it all out in the open last night considering today’s the last day on the ship. Come morning it’s all going to change for us.”

She doesn’t have to remind me. I’m well aware of how fast the clock is ticking. It’s part of the reason why I avoided asking Easton about the contract when we woke up this morning. I just wanted to enjoy him without distractions for as long as I could. “We talked about Shay, but that’s as far as we got.”

“You’ll have to tell me about that conversation, but you really need to talk to Easton before it’s too late.”

If it were serious, life-changing, ground-breaking news, she wouldn’t be sitting in her chair sipping on water while nursing a hangover. My best friend would be losing her mind if Lane was leaving for good. It’s the only reason why I can sit here and not freak out myself. “I will—today.”

“Good, try to keep your clothes on long enough to have an actual conversation. I think all yours have happened naked.”

I pick up my bottle of lotion and sling it at her. “Take a nap, hooker. You’re cranky.”

“We’re just getting started. Grab your bag.” I’m in for it when Noelle stands up next to my chair and holds out her hand. “We have a better spot to sit and soak up the rays.”

“And where’s that?” I sit up, grabbing my lotion and tucking it back inside my bag.

“You’ll see when we get there. Gina told me about it last night.”

I pause, looking to Gina for help, but she’s smiling even bigger than Noelle. “If I tell you now, you’ll say no. Wait until we get there before you make a decision.”

“I’m not moving until you tell me where you’re taking me.”

Gina laughs because I’m already following the two of them out of the solarium. Turns out our destination is right around the corner. I’ve walked by this part of the ship more than a couple times, but it’s only now that they’re pointing to the sign that I see we’re headed toward a nude sunbathing deck.

Like Gina is harboring the biggest secret known to man, she begins. “I didn’t know about it for a while. It’s not really advertised, but it exists. A lot of the European cruisers take advantage of it. They’re a little more open with their bodies and sexuality. Anyway, it was killing me, so I went up one day. I only went topless because I wasn’t comfortable with being completely naked in public, but even that was enough to make it one of the most liberating experiences I’ve ever had. Dom doesn’t know it, but I go up at least once a week now.”

I swallow, wondering why Noelle wants to do this. She spent a fortune on her bathing suits and now she wants to take them off. “It’s not weird having other people checking you out?”

Gina shakes her head. “That’s the thing, nobody was even looking at me. There aren’t many people up there, and the ones who are there are simply sunbathing. It’s not at all degrading or disgusting like I thought it would be. Plus, it’s a great way to avoid awkward tan lines.”

“And you want us all to do this?”

Noelle pulls me by my arm. “Just this once, Lark. We might never get another chance. I don’t plan on ever making it to France where this is the norm.”

I chew on my thumbnail, debating what I should do. I’ve already taken so many chances on this trip. I’ve done so many uncharacteristic things that one more couldn’t possibly hurt. Right? “And we don’t have to stay long?”

“Half hour and we can go,” she assures me.

“I’ll go, but just for the record, if you’re serious about Lane, there’s a good chance you’ll be traveling in the very near future. It’s what they do.”

She smiles and nods her head. “Same goes for you.”

“I don’t know about that.” I have a job and a career back home that I can’t leave. I’ve worked really hard to get where I’m at. I’d love to be with Easton every day, but I can’t walk away from my responsibilities either. “If we’re doing this, let’s go.”

Noelle claps her hands together, “I knew this trip would be good for you. You’re already a changed woman.”

“You’re the one who told me I lost my edge. I think I’ve done enough this week to prove I found it. Don’t you think?”

“Week’s not over yet, love. Plus, you haven’t talked to Easton. I’ll know if you got it back or not after that conversation.”

I’ve done a lot of growing this week. I’ve let go of Grant, as hard as it’s been, and I’ve moved toward Easton. With the way Noelle’s talking, I haven’t made my hardest decision yet. I’m going to have to give something up that means a lot to me. That scares me even more than letting go of my past because my future is all I have left.

Suddenly, I’m frighteningly aware that I’m in over my head. Yet this time, I’m the only one who can save myself.