Rock the Boat (14 page)

She sucks in a breath, her teeth grazing my shoulder as I continue to tease her. “I might need reminded often.”

“I’ll remind you all day long if I have to.”

“You need me Lark, we need each other. I promise you, I’ve learned my lesson.”

It would be so easy to take Grant back—to forget he ever cheated on me, repeatedly. But whenever I see him, whenever I think about him, I see her. They shared something entirely different than what we had—something explosive. That isn’t the kind of thing that’s shut down instantly. Not after their level of intimacy. “I can’t.”

He sighs through the receiver, frustrated with my response. There’s no way I can do it. If I did take Grant back, I’d always wonder if he was thinking about her while he was with me. Would he compare the two of us? Miss what they shared? Wish I was more like her? It’s a wedge that would always be between us and I can’t unconditionally love someone I can’t trust.

“Did you at least get the flowers I sent you?”

“Yes,” I whisper, glancing at the kitchen table where a shattered vase is scattered around the wood, stems of the most beautiful red roses laying haphazardly on top. I always wondered what it would be like to receive flowers for a birthday or anniversary, but they never came. It took Grant cheating on me to finally get them.

“They don’t take away all the pain I’ve caused you, but Lark, I need you. You’re the one I want to be with. You’re my girl.”

“If you wanted me, you wouldn’t have ever been with someone else. You don’t cheat on someone you gave your heart to—someone you want to share a home and your life with.”

“I was losing you, Lark. I felt it and I did something stupid because of it.”

“What you did isn’t my fault. I came home to you every single night of my life. On my lunch breaks, I called you. When I had a spare minute between clients, I emailed you or texted. You were the only man on my mind, Grant, despite all the ones I crossed paths with every single day. I was that in love with you.”

“You spent your day with people who can fill your pockets with their money—musicians, athletes, actors. What if I lost you to one of them? I’d be left with nothing.”

“You did lose me, and I don’t need money to be happy. All I needed was you.”

He lets out a frustrated growl on the other end of the line. Knowing him, he’s pacing back and forth in his living room, his head tipped back and his eyes squinted shut. It’s funny how well I know him, yet I was blind to the truth for so long.

“I need you to believe me. She means nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

“For being so insignificant, you spent a lot of time with her. Just admit it, you felt an insane attraction to her because she let you live out fantasies you felt you couldn’t ask me for, and then you got caught. You weren’t threatened by my job. You were bored.”

“Lark, please. Don’t do this to us.”

“You already did it. This breakup isn’t my fault. It’s yours.”

“I need to see you one more time. I can be there in ten minutes.”

“Grant, I can’t do this. Don’t call, don’t come over, and stop sending me flowers. I’ll just throw them out.” It’s a lie. I may have smashed them, but once I hang up, I already know I’ll put them in a new vase and give them water. My relationship may have died, but they’re all I have left of what I thought I loved—that’s not as easy to discard.

“Ten minutes, please.”

“No, I’m done.” I stab my finger at the end call button and toss the phone on the kitchen counter.

Suddenly, I’m freezing cold. When my eyes open, the room’s darkened, and I’m disoriented. I expect to see Noelle when I turn my head, but it’s Easton. He’s rubbing my arm, a concerned expression on his face. “Are you okay? You were dreaming.”

“I was?”

“Yeah, maybe more of a nightmare.”

“Did I say anything?” Before he even answers, I can tell I did. I’ve been known to talk in my sleep. Noelle has all kinds of dirt on me from nonsense I’ve mumbled when I was out cold. It’s bad enough when she hears me, but it’s humiliating knowing Easton did, too. It’s why I roll over and cover as much of myself as I can while still being able to breathe.

“Don’t hide from me, Lark. You’re in my bed. Tell me what’s wrong?”

A frustrated tear slides down my cheek, but I brush it away before another has a chance to follow. “It’s nothing,” I lie.

“You wouldn’t be crying if it was nothing.”

I want to roll over and face him, but I can’t. Not if I plan on telling him the truth about why Grant didn’t want me anymore. “I work in public relations. There’s a lot of high profile clients that come in and out of the office. I love what I do, but apparently, Grant didn’t. He was so sure I’d leave him for one of my clients, he found a replacement for me ahead of time—only I never left him and he kept the both of us. The dream was the night before we left for the cruise when he called begging me to take him back. When I wouldn’t, he came to my apartment instead.”

“That’s a fucking dick move.”

I smile at his choice of words. It’s very Easton. “Yeah, what a dick.”

Easton scoots closer to me, cuddling me from behind. His arm wraps around my waist and he rests his chin on my shoulder, his breath tickling my ear lobe. “So far this guy has saved you from a possible shark attack, which is a redeeming quality, but he’s also cheated on you which makes him a douchebag.”

He’s not wrong. Grant was a lot of things—loyal and honest weren’t two of them. But I don’t want to lie next to Easton and talk about another guy, even if Grant still is a very large part of my life—broken up or not. “At least you get to reap the benefits this week.”

“I gotta admit, it’s been some of the best revenge sex I’ve ever had. I knew the second I touched you in the theater, you had someone else on your mind. It’s been my mission to change that.”

Each time I’m with Easton, it’s his body I feel on top of mine, but when I close my eyes, I’m still haunted by images of Grant with his whore. It fuels me to fuck Easton harder—to prove to Grant that I’m capable of giving a man every single thing he needs.

My days may have once started and ended with Grant—back when life was perfect and I couldn’t imagine it ever becoming difficult for us, but that’s gone. He hung the moon above the stars, and then he made me hate him. “How did you know?”

Easton kisses my shoulder, his lips warm and soft against my skin. Finally he says, “Because I know what it’s like to fuck to forget.”

I’m afraid to ask him what he means, especially after hearing his song at the show and then discovering the tattoo on his back. As much as I want all the facts, I might not be ready to hear about someone else. Not if it’ll remind me of where I was before I met him.

So, instead of pushing for more, I turn around in his arms, snuggling closer to his chest. The sheet falls away from his chest, revealing a shiny piece of metal. My eyes zero in on his nipple and the piercing going through it. “When did you get that?”

“A long time ago. I didn’t have it in.”

“Wow, I had no idea.”

He takes my hand and lays it across his pec, encouraging me to explore. “First one you’ve seen?”

“Yes.” I poke at it, afraid it’ll hurt him if I mess with it too much. He brushes my hair away from my face, and I feel him watching me touch him. “What?” I whisper, as I run my thumb over his nipple again.

“If you weren’t completely my type I might worry about us being so different.”

“What is your type?”

He waits for me to look at him. When I do, he rewards me with a sincere smile I want to memorize so I never have to worry about forgetting it. “I think I’m looking at it.”

“Yeah? Even though I’m not inked up? I don’t have any piercings other than my ears. You won’t find any leather in my closet either.”

“For starters, I prefer black lace, like those tiny scraps you wear.”

“What else do you like?”

“It’s not really the piercings or body art that matters, or what you have and don’t have. All that matters is you. You’re sexy without even trying, and that makes you my favorite type.”

“You’re the complete opposite of the men I’ve dated. If I’m being honest, that scares me a little, but I think I’m more worried about your lifestyle than anything. Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, but if you ask me if I’ve ever cheated I might not like it.”

“How did you know that’s what I was going to say?”

“Because it’s one of the reasons why your last relationship didn’t work out. If you weren’t concerned, I’d know you weren’t taking me seriously—and we were just fucking around.”

“I thought this was no expectations.”

“You don’t need expectations to be a good person.”

“Does that mean you won’t answer my question?” I’m not sure why it matters so much to hear his answer. For all I know, he could lie to me, completely ruining the faith I’ve been able to find in him. Then again, he could tell me he has, and that approach wouldn’t be any better. All I really need is the truth—in whatever form it comes.

He doesn’t seem upset as he pulls me on top of him, his strong body pressing against mine. I could easily get lost in that, forgetting about the conversation entirely. But his eyes lure me in, telling a story of their own. “I’ve been accused of some pretty shitty stuff over the years, but not once have I ever cheated on my girlfriend. Because there’s one thing you need to realize about me, and I don’t want you to ever forget it.”

“I won’t.” He hasn’t even told me yet, but I already believe him.

“Lark, if you have me, you have all of me—that’s a damn promise.”

Once I have my answer—an answer I desperately needed, I rest my cheek against his chest, playing with the barbell piercing his nipple. “Thank you for keeping your pants up.”

His laughter bounces me around, but he holds onto me so I don’t fall off the mattress. “Baby, I’m not wearing any.”

“You know what I mean—hypothetically speaking. I wasn’t sure if you’d be honest about it, or tell me what you thought I wanted to hear.”

Before I realize what’s happening, I’m flat on my back with a determined Easton holding himself up on either side of me. “Let’s get one thing straight, gorgeous. When I want someone, I want all of them—mind, body, and soul. That means I give as much trust as I take. I’ve never cheated on a woman in my life. I’m not about to start with you.”

They’re the exact words I needed to hear from him. That despite his job, and how many women he comes into contact with on a daily basis, that I would always be enough for him. “When you first told me you worked on the ship, I was a little worried there could be someone else. Six months is a long time to go without sex.”

“There was a dealer in the casino I spent some time with the first three months of my contract. Once her contract expired, she didn’t renew. I got an e-mail from her a couple days after she left telling me she was working at a casino in Vegas. That’s the last we spoke.”

“You didn’t want to stay in touch? Did you even write her back?”

“No, it was just sex, Lark. Once she left, we were done—that was the arrangement. I think she e-mailed me so she would be free to move on without guilt. Because even though we were only casually hooking up, I still made sure it was exclusive. I don’t share and I don’t cheat. When you’re in my bed, you better not be sneaking into anyone else’s.”