Rock Stars Do It Forever (9 page)

He watched with a welter of emotions, all of them centered around and springing out from love, as Jamie stuck her hand into the stream of steaming water, adjusted the temperature slightly, and then stepped in, sliding the curtain closed.

Her phone rang, a sudden, jarring, shrill interruption cutting through the silence of his thoughts and the sounds of Jamie showering. He contemplated answering it but decided against it. He thought about finding it and seeing who showed up on the caller ID, but decided against it. The phone went silent and then rang again a few seconds later. Silence, and then a third ring. The bleeping tone of a voicemail received.
 

Jamie emerged from the bathroom, wreathed in steam, wrapped in a thick white towel, her red hair wet and tangled and dangling down her back. “Did I hear my phone going off?”

“Yeah,” Chase said. “It rang, like, three times. You have a voicemail, I think.”

She crouched and dug it out of her purse, swiped her finger across the screen to unlock it, and tapped the screen, bringing up the “missed calls” screen. She tapped it a few more times, and then a voice came out of the speakers, male, British, and smooth.

“Jamie, love. I know we had a tiff, and I said some things I mightn’t’ve meant. You know how it goes. I just…I’m sorry. I hope you’ll come home, come to my flat, I mean.” Jamie paled, falling backward onto her butt on the floor, scrambling to silence it.
 

“Shit,” she said.
 

Chase sat up and pinched the bridge of his. “That complicates things.”
 

Jamie looked up sharply. “No! No it doesn’t. There’s no complications. I walked out. I left him because I didn’t love him, didn’t want to be with him. I left him
before
I met you.”

“But he clearly wants you back.”

Jamie stood up and crossed the room to sit next to Chase on the bed, phone clutched forgotten in her hand. “But I don’t want him. I never really did. That was the entire problem. I was trying to convince myself another man could take your place. I couldn’t keep up the pretense, Chase. I just couldn’t. And now that I’ve been with you—made love to you—I could never ever spend a single second with anyone else.” She pivoted to sit cross-legged on the bed, and Chase’s eyes were drawn to the shadowy vision of her folds between the gap of the towel. She took his face in her hands and forced his eyes to hers. “Eyes up here, Tiger. You need to understand what I’m saying to you. You’ve ruined me for all other men. You did that the first time you kissed me.”

He felt a hesitancy it her words. “But?”

“No buts. I just have to get my things from his condo. Make sure he knows I’m really done.”

“Want me to go with you?”

Jamie considered. “I don’t know. That could get awkward. But I really don’t want to go alone, either.”

“How about I go with you, but wait in the lobby?”

“That would work,” Jamie said. She pushed Chase toward the bathroom. “Now go clean up. You’re crusty.”

Chase showered and dressed, and they left the hotel. Chase felt as if something in the world had shifted, as if everyone should know how completely his life had changed since the last time he was outside. When he and Jamie had entered the hotel, he had been bursting with need, every fiber of his being aflame with frustration and love and lust. Now, leaving the hotel not even a day later, he felt like he was almost a different person. One night with Jamie, and she’d stolen his soul, hidden it within herself. She had shown him what he’d been missing his entire life, and now he couldn’t fathom being without it…couldn’t fathom being without her.

They caught a cab, and Jamie gave the driver the address. A few minutes later they pulled up in front of an upscale high-rise condo building right on Lake Michigan. Chase went into the lobby with her, holding her hand. He stopped with her at the bank of elevators.

“I’ll come up with you,” Chase said.

Jamie shook her head. “It’s fine. It’s not like I’m scared of him or anything. He’s a good person, and…I don’t know. I just feel like if I leave your side, even for ten seconds, this whole thing will pop like a bubble. Like you and I finally being together is a dream that I could wake up from any second.”

Chase laughed in relief and put his forehead to hers, one arm around her waist, the other tangled with hers at their sides. “God, I’m glad I’m not the only one feeling that way.”

The elevators dinged, and the doors whooshed open. A disbelieving huff of male laughter sounded from within the elevator directly in front of them.
 

“Fucking bollocks, Jamie. Didn’t imagine you’d move on quite
that
fast.” The British voice from Jamie’s cell phone.

Jamie jumped in Chase’s arms, gasping in surprise. “Ian…I—um…”

Chase felt her pulse leap into a frenzy. He stepped away from Jamie, still holding her hand.

“I don’t guess there’s much to say, then, is there?” The man, tall and good-looking with sandy hair and blue eyes, flicked his gaze from Jamie to Chase, his eyes alternating between angry and hurt and confused. “I’ll just go.”

“Ian, wait. I’m sorry for this, but—well…I don’t know. I told you it was complicated.”

“Complicated?” Ian laughed, a sarcastic sound. “Complicated is having feelings for another bloke when you’re with me. Complicated I can deal with. Having a tumble with him in the lobby of my flat building is a bit different, I’d say.”

“I wasn’t—” Jamie started. “Listen, I just need my stuff, okay?”

“You’ve been fucking him all along, haven’t you?” Ian said, fists clenched at his sides.

“What? No! Ian, don’t make this into something it’s not—”

“You stormed off yesterday, and I thought you’d just need some time to cool off. I thought…I thought you’d come back, and we’d discuss it a bit, figure things out. I—you—” Ian turned away, paced a few steps, and then turned back. “You ran straight to him, didn’t you? Straight from his bed to mine.”

Chase couldn’t keep himself from intervening. “Now, hold on just a minute, pal. You don’t have to like the situation, but you’ve got no call to insult her.”

“Sod off. I’m not talking to you, Yank.” Ian dismissed Chase with a flick of his fingers. “I’m talking to Jamie, so you can just shut your fucking mouth.”

“Fuck you. You’re being a dick.”

“Chase, don’t.” Jamie pushed at Chase’s chest. “Just let me talk to him.”

“Like I said,” Ian punctuated his next words with a finger poking hard into Chase’s shoulder, “sod…off.”

Chase knocked Ian’s hand away and stepped in front of Jamie, putting his back to her so he was inches away from Ian. “Don’t touch me.”

Chase heard Jamie moan in frustration when Ian’s fist flashed up and into Chase’s stomach, knocking the wind from him. He saw red, lunging.

4

Jamie groaned in irritation.
Fucking stupid posturing males.
 

She saw Ian’s fist move in slow motion, slam into Chase’s stomach, then watched a transformation overtake Chase. He grunted, sucking in a breath, then straightened. His face was a rictus of rage.

She had to stop this before it got really ugly. She stepped in front of Chase and shoved him back as hard as she could, taking his face in her hands. His eyes dragged from Ian to her.
 

“Don’t, Chase.” She spoke so low only he could hear it. “
Do not
do this.”

“Motherfucker sucker-punched me,” Chase snarled.

“I know,” Jamie said. “I know. But please just let it go. It’s not worth fighting over. I hurt him, okay? He has a right to be angry—he’s just being a child about it. Taking it out on you instead of me. Just walk away, okay? There’s a pub a couple doors down. Go have a drink while I get my stuff. Please?”

Chase’s chest heaved, and she saw the rage warring with his desire to please her. “Fine. Only for you.” He spun on his heel and stormed off, fists clenched.

“Pansy,” Ian’s voice said from behind her, goading.

Jamie whirled, seeing Chase’s shoulders tense and his strides slow. “Shut the fuck up, Ian! You’re being a shithead. I just diffused the situation
you
created.” She shoved him onto an elevator as it opened to let off a businessman. “Get
on
, Ian. Don’t piss me off.”

She stepped onto the elevator behind Ian and stood against the far wall, away from him. The ride up to Ian’s condo was long and awkward and tense. Jamie followed him down the hallway and to his door, waiting while he opened it up, then stood in the foyer. Ian set his keys on a thin table by the wall, sighing deeply. His shoulders slumped, and he turned in place, scrubbing his face with one hand.

“I’m sorry, Jamie. I shouldn’t have done that. I was just…I’m right pissed, and I’ve got every reason to be, I’d think.”

Jamie flopped back against the closed door. “I know. And I’m sorry. I know you’re hurt, and you do have a right to be. I haven’t been fair to you.”

Ian ran his hands through his hair, tilting his head and peering at Jamie as if exhausted. “Did I mean
anything
to you?”

“Of course you did, Ian. It was just…I don’t know. It’s hard to explain.”

“You’ve said that before. I don’t care to hear it again. Try to explain.”

Jamie let her head thunk against the door. “You
did
mean something to me. I had a good time with you. You…you’re wonderful. In any other situation, I think we really could have had a good chance at something long-term together.”

“But?”

“But you never really had a chance with me, through no fault of your own. I’ve just…I’ve been in love with Chase for a long, long time. Since before I met you. I was running from my feelings for him when I met you. I told you all this yesterday.”

“Feels like a thousand years ago.”

Jamie blew a long breath out. “You have no idea.” She looked up at Ian, who was leaning against the wall with one shoulder. “Look, I don’t really know what to say to you that I haven’t already said. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry you saw me with him like that. It’s not like you think. I never even talked to him on the phone until yesterday. I literally ran into him in the street, and I just…I couldn’t deny how I feel for him any longer.”

“And how you feel about me no longer applies, is that it?”

Jamie couldn’t answer, since it was true.

“I see,” Ian said. “Well, then, there’s only one thing left for me to do.”
 

Something odd in his voice had Jamie glancing up to see Ian inches away and closing, hand scooping around the back of her head, his lips crashing against hers. Jamie froze in shock, felt herself melting just slightly—Ian
was
a damn good kisser, after all—and then she felt the rush of outrage and anger blast through her.

She pulled back, shoved him as hard as she could, and then slapped him. “
Seriously
, Ian? You kiss me? All that, and you
kiss
me?” She scrubbed her mouth with her palm, as if to wipe away the fact that she’d nearly let herself enjoy the kiss.
 

Ian shrugged. “I had to see. There is nothing left, is there? Was there ever anything?” Jamie opened her mouth to answer, but Ian cut her off. “That was rhetorical. Wait here. I’ll get your things.”

Jamie dug the heels of her palms into her eye sockets hard enough that sparks flashed in the blackness of her closed eyes. She heard his tread, lowered her hands to see Ian holding out two small duffel bags, the kind given out as freebies at the tech conferences Ian frequented.
 

“Pretty sure this is everything. If there’s anything else I discover, I’ll ship it to you.”
 

 
“Thanks.” A long silence expanded between them until Jamie broke it. “You’re a good man, Ian, and I’m sorry for…using you, I guess. Wasting your time.”

Ian sighed, and rubbed his jaw with his wrist. “You didn’t waste my time, Jamie. You just broke my heart.” He ran his hands through his hair, and Jamie had to look away from the raw splinters of emotion in his blue eyes. “I was falling in love with you. I’d thought about proposing.”

Jamie let out a sound that was half-sob and half-laugh. “You were going to—? Ugh. I wish there was something else I could say besides ‘I’m sorry.’”

Ian shook his head. “There really isn’t anything, is there? Goodbye, Jamie.”

She turned and opened the door, pausing to pick up her bags and glance at Ian. “I really am sorry. You deserved better treatment.”

Ian didn’t answer, besides a shrug. Jamie left, and the elevators closed on her vision of Ian standing in his doorway, one hand in his pocket, the other rubbing the back of his neck, his eyes betraying pain even from a distance.
 

She found her car in the garage, tossed her things in the back seat, pulled it out into traffic, found a parking spot on the street near the pub where she’d told Chase to go. She sat in her car, trying to collect herself. It had been harder than she’d thought it would be to say goodbye to Ian. To see him hurting. To know she’d been the one who hurt him.

The passenger door opening startled Jamie into alertness, but she knew it was him even before she opened her eyes. She smelled him first, body wash, cologne, faintly of beer, that male scent and the unique essence of Chase, comfort and desire turned olfactory.
 

“I’m sorry I made it a scene, babe,” Chase said as he settled into the seat next to her.

She glanced at him in amused disbelief. “It was going to be a scene regardless. An ex and a current is always messy, no matter what. You were defending me, and that’s…so sweet. And really, the fact you were able to walk away from the fight? I love you so much for that. Any guy can beat someone’s ass for his girl. It takes a real man, a strong man, to walk away from a confrontation for his girl.”

Chase reached out and took her hand. “Neither of us needed that.” He examined her face. “It was pretty rough, huh?”

“That obvious?”

Chase laughed. “You look emotionally wrecked. Gorgeous and glorious as always, but you look like that took it out of you.”

“He kissed me after I told him I’d been in love with you since before I met him. And then he told me he had been falling in love with me and that he was thinking about proposing.”