“Yeah, right,” X replied. Despite Jonas’s confidence, he wasn’t so sure.
There were only two names on the sign-up sheet so far: Bizz Juarez and Savannah Smith. Mark laughed when he saw them.
“Looks like Alison already told Bizz and Savannah about the trip!” he said. He added his own name beneath theirs, then handed the pen to Jonas. Jonas scrawled his name and stepped away so X could do the same.
X hesitated. “You know, it doesn’t seem fair for us to take up all the spaces. What if some other kid wants to go but can’t because I signed up instead? My mom could always take me some other time.” He started to put the pen down.
Jonas wouldn’t let him. “It won’t be as much fun if you don’t go with us,” he said. “Besides, these trips are always first come, first served.”
So X signed his name underneath Jonas’s and laid the pen aside. They all took copies of the permission slip for their parents to sign and started to leave.
“Hold on. What about Charlie?” Mark asked. Charlie Abbott was another friend. “Should we put his name down, too?”
“I don’t think we’re allowed to,” Jonas said. “I’ll call him later, tell him to get his keister over here pronto.”
“He could always take my place if he doesn’t get on the list,” X said.
Jonas gave him a puzzled look. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you didn’t want to go on this trip!”
X was saved from having to answer by a cry from Mark.
“Hey, it’s almost three-thirty! Alison’s going to close the hill soon. If we want to get in any more runs, we better get a move on!”
The boys snowboarded for another half hour before the sun set and Alison had to shut down the hill. X waved good-bye to his friends and trudged home with his snowboard under his arm. He was tired and aching, but he barely noticed. He was too busy thinking about what Jonas had said — that he, X, didn’t want to go on the trip.
X was as mystified by his reluctance as Jonas was. Usually, he was ready and raring to try new things, especially new sports. But every time he thought of climbing straight up a wall, his insides felt funny.
He dumped his snowboard in the garage when he got home, then pushed open the door to the kitchen. Delicious smells tickled his nose. His favorite meal, spaghetti with meatballs, was warming on the stove. X’s older sister, Ruth, was setting the table like she did every night. X’s job was to make sure each place had a glass of milk by it. He pulled the milk from the refrigerator, then stopped short.
“Hey, where are the glasses?” he asked Ruth.
“In the dishwasher,” she replied. “Mom forgot to run it again. She was too busy playing with Sarah and Kyle.”
X laughed. His mother would rather play with her kids than do housework. It meant that their house was messy sometimes, but X didn’t care. What fun was a mom who just cleaned all day?
“So what should I use for the milk?” X asked. Ruth pointed to a small cupboard above the refrigerator. “I think there are some plastic cups up there,” she said.
X pulled himself onto the counter. He couldn’t quite reach the cupboard, so he climbed up on top of the refrigerator.
“Careful you don’t fall!”
X glanced down — and froze. Suddenly, the floor seemed to be very far away.
Panic washed over X. A wave of dizziness struck him. He squeezed his eyes shut, hoping to make it stop. It didn’t. He lost his balance and started to fall.
“X! Watch out!” Ruth screamed.
X braced himself for the pain. But instead of hitting hard tile, he landed in his father’s strong arms.
“Gotcha!” Mr. McSweeney held X in a tight hug for a moment, then helped him to a chair. “What happened?”
“I — I don’t know,” X croaked, still shaky. “One minute I was reaching for the cupboard, the next it was like I couldn’t breathe!”
X’s father looked at him thoughtfully. “Have you ever felt that way before?” he asked.
X probed his memory. “Well, there was the time the Ferris wheel stopped and I was in the top car. I was a little scared then, too, but just because the car wouldn’t stop rocking.”
“How about the time we were sitting in the balcony at the theater?” Ruth put in. “Jonas was sitting down below, calling and waving like crazy up at X. But X just sat there, staring straight ahead with his hands white-knuckling the arms of the seat. What does it mean, Dad?”
“I’m not one hundred percent sure,” Mr. Mc-Sweeney replied, “but I think X was experiencing acrophobia.”
“Acro-
what?
” X said.
“Acrophobia. The fear of heights. Lots of people have it.”
X frowned. “Hold on a second. If I’ve got this acro-whatever thing, why don’t I feel it when I’m up on a hill or waiting on deck at the half-pipe?”
His father shrugged. “Maybe it’s because you’re too busy thinking about the run you’re about to take or the jumps you’re going to do. Or maybe you’re so familiar with those places the fear doesn’t hit you.” He patted X on the back. “Don’t worry. If you stay away from unfamiliar heights, you shouldn’t be bothered by it.” He left to call the rest of the family to dinner.
When everyone was together, Ruth told the others about X’s near accident. “If it hadn’t been for Dad, X’s brains would be splashed all over this very floor.”
“Ew!” squealed Kyle and Sarah together.
“Ruth!” X’s mother said. “That’s not a very nice image for the dinner table.”
Ruth grinned at X. “Sorry, Mom,” she said.
X grinned back, but weakly. Ruth had meant to be funny, but what she’d said had made X uneasy. After all, his brains really
could
have been splashed all over the floor if not for his dad. He decided then and there to stay away from strange high places, just to be safe.
At that moment, the phone rang. X answered it. “Hey, buddy!” Jonas said. “Good news. Charlie got the last spot on the sign-up sheet. So mark your calendar, get your permission slip signed, and get ready to climb that rock wall next week!”
“Who was that?” X’s mother wanted to know after X hung up. He told her it was Jonas and explained about the trip. Then he pulled the permission slip out of his pocket and asked her to sign it.
She shook her head. “I don’t know, X. Given your fear of heights, do you really think it’s a good idea to try to climb the wall?”
X looked at his feet. “I’ve got to, Mom,” he mumbled.
She lifted his chin with her hand and gazed into his eyes. “Why?” she asked softly.
“Because if I don’t go, my friends will think I’m a coward!” he blurted out.
His mother continued to look at him. Then she released his chin and signed the slip.
“There are different kinds of bravery, you know,” she said as she handed him the paper.
X folded the slip in half. “What do you mean?” His mother stood up and ruffled his hair. “You’ll figure it out. Now go hop in the shower and get ready for bed.”
X did as he was told. But even though he was tired from snowboarding all day, he had trouble getting to sleep that night. Every time he closed his eyes, he remembered how scared he’d been on top of the refrigerator, a place that wasn’t even all that high!
And now, in less than a week, he’d be climbing a two-story rock wall. The very idea gave him goose bumps. He pulled his comforter up to his chin and tried to figure out what to do. But he couldn’t think of a single solution.
Maybe,
he thought,
something will come up to keep me from going on the trip!
At breakfast the next morning, X checked the family calendar to see if he was scheduled for a doctor or dentist appointment on Saturday. He wasn’t. At school that week, he kept hoping his teacher would assign a big project for the class to complete over the weekend. She didn’t. At the skatepark hill, he prayed for something to happen to keep Alison from doing the trip. Nothing did. And before he knew it, it was Saturday morning and he was boarding the minibus for the mall.
“This is going to be so great!” Jonas said as he bounced in the seat in front of X. “I wonder how high we go? I can’t wait to see what the mall looks like from way up there.”
Bizz snorted from the next seat. “It probably looks the same as it does when you look over the railing from the second floor.”
X had only been half-listening to the conversation, but now he sat up. He tried to think if he’d ever looked over the second-floor railing before. He couldn’t quite remember.
But I’ve been to the mall so many times, I must have! And I never got scared then, so maybe I’ll be okay after all!
“You know, Bizz, I bet you’re right!” he said excitedly. “I bet it’s
exactly
like looking over the railing!”
Bizz looked at him with surprise. “Steady there, X,” she said. “It’s not like I just discovered the meaning of life or something.”
X sat back, smiling for the first time that day. “Maybe not,” he said. “But I still think you’re a genius.”
“Okay, guys, stay together,” Alison said as they climbed off the minibus. “I came here with ten kids, so I gotta go home with ten.”
She led the group through the mall. Suddenly, the rock wall loomed in front of them. It was just like Mark had described — two stories high with lots of bumps for hands and feet. There were three climbing areas. Thick red ropes dangled from the top of the wall at each area.
X’s heart raced as he gazed up at the wall. It looked much higher than he’d expected.
Much
higher.
A tall teenage boy came forward and knocked fists with Alison. “Guys, this is my buddy Ben. He works here. He’s going to tell you all about climbing the wall. So get in line, and have your money ready,” Alison advised.
X put his hand in his pocket and fingered the five-dollar bill his mother had given him that morning.
Maybe I can pretend I lost it,
he thought. Then he saw Jonas give the attendant a ten-dollar bill and receive five back in change. He knew Jonas would give him that extra five if he thought X had lost his. With a sigh, he pulled out his money and handed it to Ben.
Ben led them into a circle of ropes around the wall and asked them to sit down. “Let me explain how this works. First, I strap you into a harness. The harness fits nice and snug around your upper legs and waist — kind of like a pair of underwear with no material!” He waited for them to stop laughing before going on. “Then I clip the harness onto a rope line. The rope, harness, and clips are very strong and very safe. They can support a person twice my size. So they’ll hold you up, no problem, even if you’re swinging free of the wall. Last but not least, you get a safety helmet. Any questions?”