Rock Notes (Book One of the Heartbeat Series) (24 page)

“Do you see something you like?”

“I see you and I like that,” I commented as I was still so focused on his hands smoothing over my hips underneath the fabric of my skirt and he was lightly stroking my silk panties, and I was focused on his obvious bulge pushing hard into me that it took me a moment to notice what was above. I looked up to see we were under the mistletoe.

“Do you stop all the girls at this spot?” I asked and he started to laugh. We stayed there for a little bit and continued to kiss with a longing in our lips since we had not gotten enough with our earlier kisses. Then like a fog horn on a boat, the noise sounded. “Hey you two get up here and have fun!” Isaac shouted.

We joined them all and I was really having a nice time. Everyone was having a drink, some of the holiday food that was spread out lavishly. The guys said Rand does this each year. Maxwell was to be there soon too. I was told he had to go to the airport to pick up someone coming in for the holiday. I wondered who that would be but didn’t ask. There were a bunch of people I didn’t know in the loft, they were briefly introduced to me as they were the road staff that helped them at each location with equipment and such. I got a big hug from Ron and he told me Dahlia couldn’t come today but I told him I looked forward to seeing her at another time.

Isaac came up to me like a kid and took hold of my hand and led me over to the tree. I thought, oh no, I hope there is no mistletoe in this tree. He told me he needed a Santa’s helper and I was the one chosen. With that he handed me three heavy boxes to give out. The first tag was for Jillian and the next Cecile and then me. We opened them at almost the same time. The band gave us all leather jackets made with
Rolling Isaac’s
across the back. That was really nice. Cecile put hers on immediately. Then Isaac said, as Rand grinned standing across from him, that they had another present for me. I hadn’t expected anything here today.

Isaac said that he saw how cramped I looked up here in the loft trying to write and would watch me go from couch to chair and back. At this time, Maxwell arrived and gave me a quick hug too. Isaac, like a magician, went to the covered item near the tree in front of
The Wall,
and pulled off the fabric covering. I let out a gasp. It was the writing desk I loved so much from my day in New Hope with Rand. Above the desk was a Post-it note attached to an empty brick area of
The Wall
that read “Madison’s Place.” It was so cute. I felt like I was surrounded by family they had been so warm and nice to me. I went over to Rand and placed my hands into his rear pockets, pulling him close to me. I heard, “What about me?” coming from Isaac who was so proud of keeping this secret and his unveiling of it today. Everyone laughed.

Rand told me that we could have it delivered to my house any day after they all came back from the holiday season or keep it here if I chose to. I quickly sat in the chair and felt the wood in front of me and felt such a connection to this piece of furniture. It was, I thought, too grand of a present for me, but I think they all wanted to make certain that I was writing nice things about them and this would surely bribe me.

“So are you having a nice start to the holiday?” Maxwell asked me.

“Yes, it’s the best since I can remember.” I replied excitedly. Rand stood next to me and I saw him reach into his pocket as his phone sounded. He pulled it out and read his message and smiled.

I arrived safe and sound, I got to meet your uncle as he was my driver which was nice, we talked on the ride, mainly about you. I could have easily taken a cab but I gave in to your insistence. I will see you very soon, I am nervous. G.

I didn’t want to ruin this moment. I had been feeling cheerful, but I read that message. Then, I went over it again in my mind. I was starting to get upset, but this was not the place to ask him. I simply asked, “Rand is everything okay?”

He smiled and said, “Couldn’t be better.” He pulled me in for another kiss. As I returned the kiss, I wasn’t thinking about or really feeling his sensual touch during this moment. My mind was questioning was it better because I was here or better because she was now here? I let myself go, enjoying his kiss feeling that I may not have many more of these moments with him going forward.

The rest of the afternoon was fun. Rand and the band that never play covers at their shows, took the time to perform one for all on their rehearsal stage. Rand got things started as he jumped up on the stage, pulled his jeans down even lower than where they hung and removed his shirt. His ink gleamed in the lights like a kaleidoscope of colors. He swung his hair back a bit and I was breathless. I stood and thought I was going to climax right there in front of everyone. He must not know how sexy and stunning he looks. I licked my lips and he caught me just as my tongue cornered the side of my mouth, he then pursed his lips and sent an air kiss to me.

His choice of cover song was perfect, “Do you think I’m Sexy” and everyone had their eyes glued to his body. Right then and there I wanted that body. I watched his moves and wanted to take my hands and explore every inch. His song ended too quickly and so did my hot thoughts. Next, Kent grabbed the microphone and sang “Miss You” and he looked at Cecile the entire time. It was Ron that was dead on with his choice of a cover. He stood at his keyboard, paused a moment and then the classic “Piano Man” sounded from his side of the stage. They wrapped it up with some Christmas tunes, Isaac had the band doing a rendition of “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” and we all laughed joyously.

Then a powerful moment came when Raeford keyed the guys for the next song. When he was done, we all had tears welling in our eyes. Raeford soulfully sang, “Oh Holy Night.” Rand too, who had his hand dipped into the waist of my skirt resting just between my waistband and my skin. He took his thumb and rubbed away a tiny tear that formed in his eye and then attended to some of mine. He asked me if I needed a drink or more food to break the teary mood and even suggested a walk out in the cold. I decided a walk would be good. I went and gathered my new band jacket and he grabbed his coat and we stepped outside.

As I left the barn, I walked into a holiday light show. From the barn to his home holiday bulbs outlined every corner of his property. The front fences were draped with lights and greens. The trees had snowflake lights hanging in all different places and it was so picturesque. It looked like a holiday greeting card.

“It’s so beautiful! I cannot believe you do all this, why?” I asked.

Rand looked at me and said, “First you are so beautiful, and why I do this is to see everyone smile. It makes you smile. I like to show them appreciation at the year’s end for all their hard work.”

“I’m sure they’re thankful, it’s very nice to do all this.”

“Yeah today was nice but when I host the New Years Party it gets a bit crazy.”

“Oh, how crazy?”

“Just about as crazy as I am for you Madison.”

As I pulled him in to warm me from the chill that crept up my spine, I had to ask, “Rand who is G, I accidently saw that on a text message you received?” I did it, I put it out there, and I waited for him to reply. I waited.

He pulled from me and simply said, “Madison, I cannot go into this with you right here and now, let’s talk about this later.”

“Why won’t you talk to me now about this?”

“Madison you need to trust me, can you do that? I know we are getting closer to one another but I’m sure we don’t share everything yet.” With that response I knew it wasn’t good, I felt the blow to my insides. I felt weakened, but I didn’t want to continue to feel something more that wasn’t there and it appeared he had something else going on, shutting me out. I told him I was too cold and we headed in to everyone else. I kept a small distance from him for a bit, talking with Jillian and I told her another message came from “G” tonight and I asked him about it and he didn’t want to go into it with me. I was very upset but masked it with a cordial smile.

Jillian told me, “I asked Raeford if he knew anything and he said he didn’t know. He did say though that many nights on the road, Rand would not head out with all the guys to bars and such, but always seemed to be occupied or roll in late.”

“Oh I can only imagine where he was or what he did.” I gave Jillian a very sad look. This wasn’t settling with me well. As the festive day continued into the evening, several left to get their packing finished, shopping done or traveling started to get them to their loved ones for Sunday. Rand had told me that he wanted me to come to his house, and see the decorations. I wasn’t up for another let down and didn’t want to go there tonight, knowing someone else was in town to see him after me. I wasn’t going to do that to myself as much as I wanted to be with him. I told him I was getting tired and that I hadn’t drank much and was simply going to head home.

“Is everything alright Madison?” he questioned. I told him I was fine, he didn’t push. I had wanted him to push because honestly, part of me wanted to cave and stay with him. But I walked around and said goodbyes to all and hugged it out with each person that was still there. I thanked him and the guys again for the desk. I was definitely going to have it relocated to my house soon. I put my new leather jacket back on and Rand took hold of my hand and walked me toward the door. Once past the corner of the large tree, he dipped me back for another lasting kiss and looked up yet again to the mistletoe and smiled. I looked up too, but was looking beyond it to the vast ceiling above and wondering what was going on that I didn’t know.

I hadn’t even gotten into my bed when my phone sounded and it was Rand –

Merry start of the Christmas Holiday, glad you came by and loved the smile on your face as you sat at your new desk. I look forward to seeing that smiling face on Sunday. Remember you better have been a good girl as Santa is coming. Good night, sleep well.

How could I sleep well, I was in an awful state of mind. Who was “G” and what was he keeping from me. He could easily tell me that we aren’t anything to one another. Why dip me back into another unwavering kiss, why invite me over and compare me and her if she is possibly coming there? No I could not do this to myself. I sent him a message –

I’m looking forward to Christmas. Thank you for today, I love my desk. I’m going to sleep and remember all the lights that danced outdoors this evening.

I never did though tell him where I was going to head on Christmas just that I was looking forward to it. I had to decide and I needed a solid night of sleep to make the best decision.

Christmas morning was lovely, as outside a dusting of snow had fallen. It just coated everything with a winter white and made the day seem more special. I awoke content in knowing where I was heading today and with whom I would be spending the day. I showered and dressed and hummed to myself this morning and let the sounds of the season fill my house from the radio as I took a little time to pick out an outfit to wear. I had this long black skirt and I put boots with it. I found a festive looking top that was sleeveless and just skimmed the top of the skirt, actually you could see my skin through the lace cuts, but it looked like a holiday outfit. I pulled out my long coat and gloves as it was chilly today. I packed up my presents and gently carried the bottle of port. I drove out of my neighborhood with ease as the light coating of snow parted as my tires passed through it. The weatherman said some areas got a coating of snow and others received several inches.

I parked my car and began to walk toward the elevator door. I pressed the button for the 27
th
floor. I let out a huge sigh. I watched the floors tick past. I felt like I was walking back into my past. I reached the door of the condo and as I paused, I felt the door open before I actually pressed the bell. Thomas stood looking so happy that I had arrived. I was actually early for his brunch and wanted to see if I could help him with anything. He took the bottle bag and smiled when he saw the cookie tin that I had made for him. He set them down near his tree that looked just as it did when I lived there, same ornaments, familiar trimmings. I left that all for him when I moved to my townhome. I was in a very bad way and wanted to leave everything behind. I wanted all new items that had no memories of him attached at that time. Today seeing his tree, actually once our holiday tree, brought back a smile to my face. I felt the comfort of home again. He pulled me in and gently embraced me, treating me like glass. He was careful not to hold me too tightly.

Since I was early I sat on the sofa near the tree and we talked a bit about what had been happening with us lately. I told him two friends of mine were hooking up with the band members to which he said, “Oh only two?” I laughed and played that off, I knew what he was saying, but didn’t comment further. I told him I had so much of my writing done and felt it was going to be a good book. I left out telling him that the band had just bought me the most awesome desk. Thomas looked so content with me just being there that I didn’t want to say that. It would feel like throwing mud in his face.

Thomas had already begun to pour me a glass of wine, telling me about a few more financial conventions he was attending in the New Year. He wanted to know if I would still be traveling with the band in case they crossed into a state he would be in. I told him I was unsure how much more time I would be with them, I knew he was fishing for answers.

He started to get up and he reached toward the back of the tree for a gift box. Thomas smiled brightly at me, and commented how lovely I looked today. I sipped the wine and felt at ease, he was not pushing me. We were talking about safe subjects, and the conversation made me feel warm and welcomed in the condo and with him. I reached over and handed him a bottle bag and he smiled and said thank you to me as he knew I had gotten him his favorite bottle of port. He leaned in to me and kissed my lips, but didn’t press.

He then sat very closely to my right and set a gift box on my lap.

“Madison, this is for you, I want you to open it before everyone comes here today.”