Rock Bottom (25 page)

Chapter Fifty-five

The snake tattoo worming its way from beneath his shirt collar, around his left ear, and across his bald head gave him away. Carmine. I didn’t know the man personally—he kinda freaked me out—but he was tight with Marissa. I saw him hook her up a few times while we were working. At the far end of the alley a man in a sports jacket pocketed the product Carmine had supplied him and melted into the crowd.

My head knew there were places I needed to be and that this was not one of them, but my head and feet didn’t appear to be on speaking terms. They remained stubbornly glued to the pavement as Carmine tucked a wad of cash away and headed toward me.

“You lookin’ for something, sweetheart?”

Was I?

“No. No, I . . .” Was completely full of shit.

It was bad enough that I lied to everyone else in my life, but since when had I started lying to myself? I knew damn well what I’d find in that alley and my being there had nothing to do with the clock that was quickly ticking away while I stood around avoiding the truth.

“I can’t. I . . . don’t have any cash on me.” Problem solved. Whether I was looking for something or not, no self-respecting dealer stood around handing out free samples.

“No worries.” A gold tooth winked at me. “I’m sure we can work something out.”

My stomach turned over.
Does he recognize me? Does he know what I am? What I do?
Not again. I wouldn’t sell myself again. Not for the drugs. I couldn’t do that to Elijah. I couldn’t do it to myself.

“I won’t—”

“How about that ring?”

“What?”

“That ring you got there. My girl would like that. How about we work out a trade?”

I twisted the sapphire ring around my finger. A ‘gift’ from Damien—one of many—and I’d been wearing it for days to show my ‘appreciation’. There was no doubt that the stone was real. Or that I couldn’t have cared less about it. “W-what kind of trade?”

“What are you looking for?”

That . . . was a very good question. For an addict my knowledge of drugs was woefully lacking. I took what I was given when I was given it, and that was it.

“Something easy.” No way could I shoot my own heroine. I didn’t know how and I was terrified of taking too much. “And strong.” I was guessing my tolerance levels at this point would scoff in the face of a little weed. “Something that can . . .”

The jitters got the best of me and I shifted from one foot to the next, my fists opening and closing uselessly at my sides, not really sure what I was trying to say.

“I think I got what you want.”

The baggie he handed me contained a few small, round pills. “What is it?”

“Dilaudid.”

I’d never heard of it. “How do I . . .?”

Being ever the professional, Carmine refrained from rolling his eyes at me. “What have you done before, baby girl?”

“Um . . .” Sweat trickled down the back of my neck, sweeping a chill between my shoulder blades.
What could it hurt to tell him?
“Heroin.”

“Well, shit.  Crush it and snort it.” He propped one shoulder against the grimy wall like he had all the time in the world. Something I was severely lacking. “One bag for the ring, what do you say?”

I knew the price had to be outrageous, but I really didn’t care. I yanked the jewelry from my finger and handed it over without a second thought.

***

Brakes squealed and a man in a yellow cab shouted profanities at me as I rushed into traffic. I had to sprint the last two blocks to Damien’s to make up for my little detour. Stray hair clung to my sweat dampened face, but all of my warring thoughts centered on the tiny weight zipped up tight in my pocket.

This was reckless. More reckless than running across a busy city street. Now was
not
the time to lose focus. I’d need a clear head if something went wrong. Elijah would be so disappointed if he found out.

If
something went wrong.
If
he found out. What
if
neither of those things happened? What
if
I could sail through what was arguably going to be the most stressful afternoon of my life in a happy haze?

I was doing all of this for some girls I’d never even met. To help Tanner and Fawn make their bust. To keep Elijah safe. What was so wrong with wanting to do something to make it a little easier for
me
?

Selfish
. It was selfish. It was something Star would do. I didn’t want to be her anymore. I didn’t want to be selfish.

But who would it hurt? Alone in my room . . . no one would even have to know. And I knew what they said about ignorance. Bliss all around. Sounded like a pretty good deal to me.

My fingers were already fiddling with the zipper on my pocket as I stepped off the elevator into the foyer. The door to the penthouse remained shut. I pressed my ear to the smooth wood the way I used to as a child to determine if my father was on the phone or if it was clear for me to knock on his office door.

All clear
.

I cracked the door and peered down the dark hallway, ears alert for any sign of where Rosita might be. It was nearly lunchtime, so my guess was the kitchen, though I didn’t hear anything. No running water. No clang of pots and pans. No footsteps.
Nothing
.

My heartbeat kicked up even though I told myself it was a good thing. Rosita was nowhere in sight and the door to my room was right there. Ten feet away. I could do this. It was almost
too
easy.

It wasn’t until I sprinted down the hall and shut the bedroom door soundlessly behind me, breathing a sigh of relief, that I remembered . . . I’d locked that door.

Chapter Fifty-six

“Welcome back.”

One of the more dangerous things that Damien possessed, which Rafe did not, was subtlety. Where Rafe rained down on you like nuclear fallout when he was pissed, it was infinitely more difficult to decode what Damien was thinking. So when I found him there, sitting on the couch in my room, I really had no idea what to expect.

“Enjoy your little . . . escape?”

“I . . .” I’d run through a bazillion excuses—one more ludicrous than the next—on my walk back. Just in case. In the end, I decided to stick as close to the truth as possible. “I’m sorry, Damien.
Sir
.” I felt his cold glare like a punch to the gut. “I just . . . I’m stuck in this room. All day. Every day. I couldn’t . . . I was losing my mind. I needed to go for a run. I used to run. I’m good at it.” Maybe not something I should have admitted to. “I just needed to burn off some energy. But I came back. You can trust me to—”

“
Silence
.”

Whatever words I had left on the tip of my tongue died a quick death.

“Did you really think you could get out without me noticing? That the only precautions I took were Rosita and one deadbolt?”

The answer to that was obviously stupid, so I kept my mouth shut like I’d been told to.

“Cameras, Star. I know you noticed them. Did you really think I wouldn’t be watching? That an alert wouldn’t go off the moment my private elevator was activated? That I didn’t know the second you set foot outside of this apartment?” I searched his face for clues, but a bland mask remained in place. “You’re lucky you came back on your own. The men I sent to find you would not have been so . . . forgiving.”

Damien straightened as I inched closer to the sofa. “Please, sir.” The words slipped out on barely more than a breath of air. “Let me show you how sorry I am.”

Once a whore . . . But I needed to buy time. Prolong whatever physical violence he might have planned for me until I could be extracted.
Time
. I just needed some time.

Lowering myself slowly to my knees, my shaky hand reached for the zipper on his faded designer jeans.
I can do this. I have to. It’s a matter of survival. I—

“Stop.” My wrist was snatched away from its target and twisted painfully up beside my head in a harsh grip. “Do you think me a fool?”

My gaze lifted to his for a half a breath before dropping back to his lap. Which is why I never saw his other hand move.

“Answer me.” A ringing slap knocked me sideways until I dangled from his grasp like a ragdoll.

“I . . . No, of course not. I—”

“
Liar!
” A foot to the chest sent me sprawling backward across the hard floor. “Does this look familiar?”

He reached into his pocket and what he drew out looked very much like the final nail in my coffin. I was dead already, my body just hadn’t realized it yet. My heart pounded out a frantic rhythm and my lungs sucked oxygen as though each breath could be their last.

Funny how such a small electronic device—something so commonplace as a cell phone—could cause such a severe reaction.

Chapter Fifty-seven

“You’re not very good at playing spy, Star. You didn’t even erase your text log.” His chin dipped and a brutal smile bared his perfect teeth. “Though I am impressed with how well you played the part. Guess it’s just who you are.”

Two men crowded into the room behind me and tears sprang to my eyes, making it difficult to see the weapon strapped to one’s waist, though I seemed incapable of looking at anything else.
What will they do to me? Kill me, certainly, but before that—

“Relax,” Damien crooned. “We’re not going to shoot you. We have something much more fitting in mind.”

Oh, God
. My entire body heaved, but nothing came up. Except me. By my hair.

“Move.” A familiar man started dragging me toward the door and I struggled to place his face.
Brian.
The man who crashed Damien’s party. “We need to go. Now.”

“Wh-where? Where are we going?” I clutched at the hand tearing the hairs from my head as I twisted to seek out Damien.

He was following alongside us with the third man. The one with the gun. I gaped at Rafe’s henchman, the quiet one that looked like his face had been on the losing end of too many fights.

Damien’s long fingers dug into my cheeks. “I had plans for you, Star. Big plans. You would have lived like a queen, instead of some common whore, but you had to go and fuck all that up. You want to know what it really feels like to be someone’s prisoner, nothing more than a tool to be used and abused and disposed of? You’re going to find out. I’ve made arrangements. When the next shipment goes out, you’ll be along for the ride. And where you’re going . . . You haven’t even begun to understand the meaning of pain.”

A wave of dizziness hit me and I swayed to the side only to be brought up short by a rough yank to my scalp. I was speechless as we piled into the private elevator. I didn’t beg or plead. I couldn’t.

Just stay in the apartment. It’s that simple
.

Nothing was simple anymore. I didn’t know where we were going, and worse, Tanner and Fawn didn’t know. How long would it take for them to realize I was missing? How long before they discovered the location where Damien was holding his girls?
Too
long. He knew the game was up. He’d undoubtedly already cleaned out his apartment of anything that could lead them to us. And we were clearly in a rush. Things were moving too fast. I was out of time.

The ruthless grip tugging me toward the ominous looking black van parked at the curb by the roots of my hair distracted me, so I didn’t notice the rusted-out station wagon sitting across the street.

If I had, things might have turned out differently.

***

Bruises formed on my back and shoulders as I rolled around the cargo area in the pitch dark. I tried to brace myself against the ribbed plastic flooring, but each turn sent me hurtling into one wall after the next. My mind struggled to keep track of them.
Right, left, right, right, left, right . . .
I lost track after that. It felt as though we drove forever. Too far to ever hope to find my way back.

When we finally came to a stop, it almost felt like a blessing—until the doors were thrown open. I squinted through the onslaught of light. We were inside some kind of structure. I could see a white cinderblock wall. And just before the oversized garage-style door rolled down, I caught a glimpse of the outside. A large cracked concrete lot surrounded by miles of overgrown fields. Wherever we were, it was long forgotten by the rest of the world.

A stocky silhouette blocked my view as the door came clattering down. I covered my ears and pressed myself against the back wall of the cargo area. As if that would do me any good.

“Get out.” Light gleamed off of his shaved head, highlighting the scar in his cheek with deep shadows.

I didn’t move. I probably should have. They weren’t just going to forget about me. Give up and let me go. My fate was sealed no matter how I got there. The only choice I had left open to me was whether it was going to be the hard way or the easy way. Like most of my recent decisions, I went with the dumbest one possible.

“Now!”

I planted my feet in a pathetic show of stubbornness. A low growl filled the suddenly too small space as the man crawled inside and grabbed hold of my ankle. A solid yank had me sliding toward the open doors on my ass. A switch of grip to my arm and a flick of his wrist and like magic I was standing.

“Now move.” A sharp glint flashed in his eyes.

Rounding the hood of the van like a good toy soldier, I came to an abrupt stop. Inside the enormous cement room—which was all the building really was—were two other black vans identical to the one we’d arrived in and . . .
oh, God
. . . a shipping container. The big metal kind. The kind that could be loaded on a boat along with thousands of others and taken anywhere.
Literally, anywhere in the world.
Elijah wouldn’t stand a chance of ever finding me again.

But that wasn’t even the most horrifying sight.

Along the back wall stood a row of women—some old, some looked younger than me. They were all thin with long greasy hair that fell in clumps across their downcast faces. Dirt-streaked skin could be seen through the matching tattered sack dresses they all wore. Heads down, waiting obediently for their next command. All the life had been drained from those women. Even if one had wanted to run or fight, she couldn’t. Every wrist and ankle was cuffed to the one beside them. A despondent chain of humanity. And I was meant to be the next link.

Well, screw that.

With some sort of sick ninja move I didn’t know I had in me and couldn’t duplicate again in a million years, I twisted around, ducked under his arm and snagged the gun right out of his holster.

For one endless moment, time stood still. My recently disarmed escort stood staring at me in disbelief, Brian retreated, and Damien stood stock-still, glaring at me as though the heat from his gaze alone could melt the weapon from my grasp. I almost believed it possible, myself.

“Put the gun down!” I’d hesitated too long. Whatever I was going to do next, I should have done it before Brian took cover behind one of the other vans and drew on me.

“No!” I set my sights on Damien. Let him shoot me. It was better than getting in that crate. “
You
put it down or I’ll shoot him.”

“Star.
Pet
.” Damien tipped his head and smiled indulgently as though he were speaking to a whimsical child. “You think you’re going to kill me? You don’t have it in you.”

“You have no idea what I have in me.” I hefted the gun higher, wishing it had some sort of hammer to cock for a more dramatic effect. Wondering if maybe it did. Or a safety. I’d never held a gun before. I hadn’t the slightest idea what I was doing. But
none
of that would stop me from pulling the trigger if that’s what it took. Of that much I was certain. “I’m not going anywhere. And neither are they.”

All of the women were watching. Some peeked through their curtains of hair, while others defiantly lifted their heads. The shortest at the far end of the line looked awestruck and terrified. A few even whispered amongst themselves, but none dared move. There were three men and over a dozen of us. It should have been easy. It wasn’t.

“Dammit, Cross.” Brian flicked his gaze toward Damien. “We don’t have time for this shit. Tame the beast or I’m putting her down.”

“Do it and he goes with me,” I warned. That’s when I saw the first hint of true fear from Damien Cross. It only lasted a moment, but a vicious wave of satisfaction washed over me knowing I’d been the cause of it. “I mean it. Put down your gun or he’s a dead man.”

Damien glanced from me to the third corner of our cozy little triangle and back again. I would have given anything to know what he was thinking in that moment.

“Fuck it.” Brian took a step closer, narrowing his aim and I knew this was it.

My last moment on this Earth was about to come to an end. I’d failed one final time. Let down Tanner and Fawn. Let down all of those women. Let down Elijah. There was so much more I was meant to do. So much more I should have accomplished. But I’d never know any of that. The only satisfaction to be found was in the feel of the trigger squeezing beneath my finger.