Rock Bay 2 - Letting Go (24 page)

At the moment the best part about staying friends with Derek was that he’d stayed on at the University after they’d graduated and gone through the medical school program… where he was currently one of the deans of admissions. Drew pulled up his e-mail. The best he could do, probably, was get Mason an interview, but it could be a start. Hopefully a new one for both of them.

M
ASON
stomped down the hallway at the hospital. He was still mad and hurt about the previous night.
Why am I so hurt? It’s not like I can expect Drew to take me seriously.
Todd hadn’t ever taken him seriously, and yeah, Drew wasn’t Todd, but those were the only two serious relationships Mason had ever had—both with older, successful guys.
Maybe my type is guys who think of me as a toy.

In Drew’s defense, he’d said that he was sorry after he acted like that. But Todd had always said he was sorry too. It had always been to calm Mason down, not because he really meant it. Mason had seen the same thing in Drew’s eyes. He hadn’t understood what he’d done wrong.

“Sweetie, what’s in your—” Amy broke off when the head surgeon walked around the corner. “Hi, Doctor Farber.”

“Amy, Mason.” He nodded at both of them and kept walking.

Amy burst into giggles. “I am seriously glad I didn’t say 'ass’ in front of him.”
Mason had to laugh. “I almost wish you had. He’s a nice guy, but so
proper
. I’d have loved to see his reaction.”
“Seriously, though. You look like hell, hon. What happened?”
“It’s a long fucking story. I thought I had Drew all figured out, but he did something really crappy last night. Something I thought he’d never do.”
“What?”

“Used me to piss his parents off. Basically guaranteed they’ll never be comfortable with me.” “Drew did that?” Amy looked surprised.

Mason had been too.
“Yeah. I guess it’s really not a big deal, but I
didn’t like being a pawn or whatever in his battle
against how everyone sees him.”

“Maybe you two just need to talk about it. You’ve seemed so sweet together lately.”

Mason studied the chart in his hand. He didn’t want to look at Amy with his eyes tearing up. He felt like an idiot. “We’ve been really happy,” he said quietly. “I’m just worried.”

“Give him a chance. I know you really like him. Just take a day or so and call. Talk.” “Yeah.” Mason agreed out loud.

He only wished he could agree in his head. Todd had started out sweet too, sweeping Mason off his feet with flowers and expensive dinners,

fancy clubs and new clothes. But the new clothes had been because Mason’s old clothes weren’t good enough, and the fancy clubs and restaurants? Todd knew that Mason’s friends wouldn’t be there. It was control, plain and simple. Making Mason into a pretty little object for his friends to look at. But pretty had never been enough. He had to be a doctor too—or at least in med school. Todd didn’t want to be seen with a mere nurse.

He had a long shift at the hospital, and didn’t make it home until it was long since dark. And he’d slept like crap the night before on Lex and Tally’s couch, too headachy from crying to drive home. Mason was annoyed that he’d cried over Drew, just like he’d cried over Todd whenever Todd treated him like a doll, something to parade around for a reaction.

The long staircase up to his place felt three times as long as usual, with his body all stiff from the couch and from being sad and tired. He’d just flopped down when his phone rang. It was Drew. Mason squeezed his eyes shut and thought about it for a minute before he picked it up.

“Hello?” He knew his voice sounded wary.

Wary and tired.
“Hi.”
“Yeah?” Okay, that wasn’t very nice of me. “I’m really sorry. I know what I did was

really unfair. I just reacted to them, and to Brock. I’m not with you to piss my parents off. I promise.”

“I know.” And he did know. If that were Drew’s only motivation, he’d have been dragging Mason in front of his parents at every opportunity.

“I decided to come out
because
I wanted the chance to be with you. That’s what this whole thing has been about all along. How much I want to be with you. I’m really sorry if you got any other impression.”

That was really sweet. Mason couldn’t help his smile. “I want to be with you too. I’ve just been the poster boy for someone before, and I’m not going to do it again.”

“No. I promise. I won’t do that to you. When you meet my parents again, and it’ll be your choice how it happens, it will be nice and dignified, and I’ll show them how much you mean to me. I really am sorry that I pushed you in their faces like that. I was angry, and I wanted to make them mad, make them as uncomfortable as they were making me. I didn’t think about hurting you.”

“I know.”

 

“But I will now. It was a mistake.”

Mason didn’t say anything for a while. He wasn’t trying to torture Drew or make him wait, but he just didn’t know how to respond to Drew’s sincerity. It felt different than Todd’s shut-him-up kind of apologies. It felt real. Mason nodded.

“Mase?”
“Okay, Drew. It’s okay.”

If it were possible to feel relief through the phone, Mason imagined he could feel it coming off Drew.

“Thank you. Can I come see you? I just want to see you….”
Mason almost said no before he realized that he wanted to see Drew too. That even one day without the prospect of a kiss or a touch between them was exhausting. “Yeah. Come on down. I’ll wait up.”

M
ASON
had cooked for them—salad, garlic bread, and salmon—and he was setting the table in his little kitchen nook area. Drew loved them being at Mason’s place, together, all domestic just like Lex and Tally. Things were still a little awkward between them, but he’d apologized for being an ass in every little way he knew how. And he was going to apologize in a big way as soon as he heard back from Derek. Show Mason in the only way he knew how that he wanted them to start a life together. He kissed Mason’s white-wineflavored lips and deposited plates, forks, and napkins on his table.

“That smells great, baby.” He turned back to the kitchen, where Mason was finishing the fish, and leaned in for another kiss. “I wish I could cook like you do.”

“I’m a pretty typical mamma’s boy. I learned from the best.”
“And I’m very grateful.”
Drew hugged Mason from behind. He didn’t miss how Mason flinched when he mentioned his mother. It was probably going to be a long time before Mason was over how Drew had acted in front of his parents. At least the interview would show Mason that Drew was serious about them as a real couple, a couple with a future. Maybe not in Rock Bay, but somewhere they could be together without drama.
Drew’s phone pinged over on the coffee table as he was coming into the room with the salad and the garlic bread. Mason had gone over to the hutch for another wine glass.
“Hey, can you grab my phone while you’re over there? Lex was supposed to text me with some tax question that he had.”
Mason picked up the phone and slid his finger across the screen to unlock it. “It’s not Lex, it’s an e-mail from some Derek guy… it says—” Mason dropped the phone on the table. “What did you do?”

“What do you mean?” Drew was surprised. So Mason had seen the e-mail from Derek. Hopefully it said he had an interview with the school soon.

“Your
friend
Mason can interview for the School of Medicine at University of Oregon next Tuesday,” Mason said in a low voice, obviously quoting the e-mail. He looked fucking pissed. Drew didn’t understand why.

“Isn’t that good, honey? I mean, Derek is my friend from college, but I couldn’t get you much more than an interview. And if you get in, we can talk about paying for it. I’ll do what I can, and maybe with loans….”

“Did you ever stop to think about what I wanted before you decided I’d be a better boyfriend if I were a doctor instead of a lowly little nurse?” Mason spoke quietly but his voice was murderous.

“No, it’s not like that. I just thought that you would want to go to medical school, you know, have a stronger income, better—” Drew knew before the words were even done coming out of his mouth that he’d said the wrong thing. “What? I thought you’d be happy.”

“I
was
happy. As a nurse dating someone who I thought wasn’t interested in controlling my life.

You are exactly the same as him. Exactly.” He grabbed his keys where they were resting
on the table and turned toward the door.
“Mason!” Drew called, following him to the
doorway.
“We’re done. Stay right where you are.” Mason’s cold voice echoed in the room along

with the harsh slam of the door shaking on its hinges.

 

Chapter Nineteen

 

I’
M NEVER
getting in a damn relationship again.

Not with a man, not with a woman. Not with anyone. I’ll have my business and my friends and that’s fucking it. Drew slammed his keys down on his apartment’s kitchen table. He was tired and mad, and four days later he still didn’t get what he’d done wrong. He’d thought… well, he thought he’d done the right thing. All he’d done was make an ass out of himself with an old friend and lose his first and only boyfriend. Nothing good about that.

His phone buzzed with a text. He ignored it and walked to the kitchen to pour himself a drink of Brock’s scotch. He’d never been very into drinking, but perhaps it was time to start. The scotch burned on the way down and he nearly gagged on the taste, but still he poured another, and another, until he was sitting on the couch in a foggy haze wondering what he’d done. His phone buzzed with another text. It might have been the second, or the fifth. He hadn’t really been paying attention to it. Drew leaned over and grabbed his phone, but the trip back to the couch made his head spin.
No more leaning
. The messages were from Tally, Logan, Amy.

Fuck.
He didn’t want to talk to any of them. If it came down to it, they were going to pick Mason to stay friends with. Didn’t the friends always have to

be divided in a breakup? Well, Mason would win. Easy. Everyone always picked someone other than Drew. Even his parents hadn’t talked to him since that disaster with the girl, when he’d practically tried to have sex with Mason right in front of them. He looked at the message from Logan, sure that it would be the worst of the three.

It wasn’t your fault. I swear, he loves you. He’ll see that soon. Just be patient.

 

Tally’s text was as confused as Drew felt.

 

What happened, D? Lex says Mase is a wreck. Call me.

Amy’s just said she was sorry and she hoped he was okay.
They’re still my friends.
Drew didn’t know what to think. He was shocked. He’d been waiting for everyone to decide that he was the one to ditch. Boring, practical Drew who’d been uptight and stuck in the closet. Maybe he was worth being friends with after all. Just not boyfriend material. He just missed Mason so much. The scotch let him admit that. As his anger slipped away, sadness replaced it, and the loss of Mason’s warm body in his arms, the scent of his skin, the way his giggle would vibrate against Drew’s chest. It was so easy to fall for someone, to get used to having them in your life. He hated himself for letting Mason in so deep. If he’d held him away like he had everyone else he’d dated, maybe it wouldn’t hurt so bad to be alone.
I’m never dating anyone again.
There really was no way to win. Either feel awkward and disinterested, or get your fucking heart ripped out.

What kind of choice was that?

“
D
UDE
, you’re crazy.” Logan walked by and smacked Mason over the side of the head on his way to their little kitchen. Mason had been sitting on the couch, moping. The same as he’d sat on the couch moping every day for the past week.

“I’m not crazy. You’re an asshole.” What he was, was sad. He’d been sad for days, missing Drew’s smile, the way he kissed, that goofy laugh that meant he was really happy. He missed Drew, plain and simple. He just didn’t know what to do about it.

“You’re crazy,” Logan reiterated. “You might be an asshole too. Drew loves you.”

“He loves a version of me who doesn’t exist, who
can’t
exist anymore. He wasn’t happy with me as a nurse. I can’t be with someone who needs me to be a doctor to be good enough.”

Logan rolled his eyes. “Are we talking about Todd again, or did you just break up with Drew over practically nothing?”

“It wasn’t nothing, they did the same thing!” Mason’s protest sounded weak even to him. The distance of a few days had made things look completely different.

“I’m going to say something, but I’m pretty sure you already know.” Logan sat down next to Mason. “First of all, love isn’t easy to find. When you find it, love that’s real, love that could be forever, you don’t just toss it away. It’s
important
, you know?”

“I didn’t say I loved him.”
“Seriously?”
“Okay, I love him, but—”
“I’m not done. There’s more, and this part is

even more obvious than the first. Drew might have done the same thing that Todd did, but his reasons were so different there’s no point in even comparing them. He thought he was doing something for
you
, Mase.”