Robot Blues (15 page)

“I’ve heard that
it helps if you imagine your audience is sitting there in the nude,” Tess
suggested.

“Only if
you
were in the front row,” he said.

“Ah.” She grinned,
linking her arm with his. “But then I’d be sitting next to Colonel Strebbins.”

Xris shook his
head. “That’s one fantasy I’ll pass on.”

They walked out of
the rec hall. Xris was silent, preoccupied, considering his options. The fence.
He’d have to use the sensor bypass relay to isolate a section of the fence.
Such a bypass would route the electronic signals around the fence area. The
fence could be cut, and the sensors would not register it. Quong had developed
the device, though the doctor had warned Xris it wouldn’t work on certain types
of sensing equipment. Still, the bypass was the only way.

Tess gave a polite
cough. “Pardon me, but have we been introduced?” She extended her hand. “My
name’s Tess.”

Xris looked up,
smiled. “Sorry. I guess I’m not very good company tonight.”

“You’re really
shaken up over this, aren’t you?” Tess lowered her voice. “Are you still
interested in going into town?”

“Sure,” Xris
answered promptly. “But I’m not allowed off base without orders and my colonel’s
not here to give me any. What do I do? Tunnel my way under the fence with a
teaspoon?”

She shook her
head. “Solid bedrock. It would take you a good three years.”

“I’m too thirsty
to wait three years. I’d like to buy you a beer tonight. And
not
in the
officers’ mess.”

“You’re on. It’s
twenty-two hundred now. I’ll meet you back here”—she looked at her watch—”in
fifteen minutes.”

Xris did some fast
thinking. “Make it thirty, could you? I noticed one of the warning lights on
the exhibit crate is flashing. It’s probably nothing. Just a malfunction, but I’d
like your maintenance people to check it out first thing tomorrow. Especially
since I’m the one slated to give that damn speech. I don’t want to accidentally
gas everyone. I’ll haul the crate over to maintenance, then meet you back here.”

“Do you need help?”

Xris shook his
head. “No, thanks.” He paused, then added casually, “You know of some way to
get us off the base?”

“Yes,” she said,
with an impish grin.

“Am I going to
enjoy it?”

“Not particularly.
But the beer’ll be worth it, I promise.”

Xris grunted,
waved his hand, and was off.

Five minutes
later, Xris left his quarters. He steered the robot’s crate on its air cushion
in front of him. Clouds had rolled in, covering the stars. On the horizon,
lightning flared; thunder rumbled. He guided the ‘bot over to the maintenance
building. It was locked up tight, his friend the sergeant off having dinner and
probably a well-deserved cigar. Xris eyeballed the distance between the shed
and fence; less than twenty-five meters.

He positioned the
crate right outside the main door, shut it down. It settled on the ground with
a thump. No need to worry about anyone walking off with it. Not with those
biohazard warnings and the fact that the thing weighed in at about a metric
ton. He tested the remote, just to make certain, touched a button. The crate’s
lights flared. He touched another button. The crate’s jets kicked in. The crate
started to rise into the air.

Satisfied, Xris
touched the first button again. The jets shut down, the lights winked out. He
looked at his watch. 2230. He’d be a few minutes late. He started back at a
run.

As it was, he was
ahead of Tess. Xris loitered near the rec hall, wondering if he’d been stood
up, when a staff car drove in front of him. The air from the car’s jets washed
gently over his feet and legs, stirred up small clouds of the fine Pandoran
sand which covered the streets.

The window slid
down. Tess leaned out.

“Hi, Captain. Need
a lift?”

She parked the
staff car out of the bright lights of the rec hall, in dark shadows between two
buildings. Xris walked over to meet her.

“Now what?” he asked.

In answer, she hit
a button. The trunk lid flew open.

Tess climbed out
the car, walked back, pointed. “Climb in.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Climb in,
Captain. That’s an order. And hurry up. Someone’ll see us.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Xris
squeezed his bulk into the trunk— a tight fit. He had to lie sideways, draw his
legs up almost beneath his chin. “I feel like I’m back in college. How far do I
have to ride like this?”

“Six or seven
hundred kilometers,” Tess said, her hand on the trunk lid. “Don’t worry. I’ll
hire a crane to lift you out. Not claustrophobic, are you?” She prepared to
shut the trunk.

“You
are
kidding ...” Xris eyed her.

“Sure.” She
grinned. “It’s not far, really. Just keep thinking about that beer. We’ll drink
to absent friends.”

“Make that absent
colonels,” Xris said.

Tess slammed the
trunk shut.

Xris squirmed
around to try to get into a more comfortable position, realized eventually that
there was no such thing, and gave up. He heard and felt the vibrations of the
engines, the gentle jolt as Tess drove forward. The car stopped, presumably at
the base entrance. No use even trying to hear what was being said, what with
the noise of the engine and the whoosh of air from the car’s jets.

Lying cramped and
contorted in the dark, sweating in the heat, with what felt like a jack or a
crowbar poking him painfully in the back of his ribs, Xris made a decision.

“I’ll carry out
this assignment
as given,
” he said. “But I’ll be damned if anyone gets
anything—including the robot—until Jamil’s back safe and sound.”

Except Thyself may
be

Thine Enemy—

Captivity is
Consciousness—

So’s Liberty.

Emily Dickinson, “Life,” No. 384, stanza 4

Xris’s ride in the
trunk of the staff car was mercifully brief, although it seemed to him that he
must have spent hours cooped up in the darkness with a wrench poking him in the
back. Tess assured him—as she helped him out—that he’d only been in there ten
minutes. He surveyed the area. Red sand, scrub pines, some sort of scraggy
flora—he wasn’t up on Pandoran horticulture. He could see the lights of the
Army base in the distance, guessed they must be about five kilometers away.

He drew in a deep
breath, grateful to be out in the open. The air was spiced with the fragrance
of desert plants, tinged with the smell of coming rain. The storm clouds were
closer; lightning flickered on the fringes.

“Did you have any
trouble getting through the gate?” Xris asked, trying to rub the feeling back
into his numb right arm.

Tess shrugged. “Why
should I? I leave base all the time. Most of the officers do. I stopped at the
gatehouse, of course, but the guards never looked at my orders, just waved me
on through. You see—”

“Hush!” Xris
cautioned. “I hear an engine. Some one’s coming.”

“Are you sure?”
Tess regarded him quizzically. “I don’t hear anything.”

“I’m sure.” He
tapped his left ear. “Augmented hearing. The sound’s coming from behind us, the
direction of the base.”

Tess wasted no
time. “Get into the car!” She hopped into the driver’s seat.

Xris dashed around
to the passenger side, jumped in. Anticipating a wild ride, he started to strap
on his seat belt. To his astonishment, Tess shoved the seat belt to one side.
Sliding next to him on the bench seat, she threw her arms around his neck and
kissed him.

“Uh, Captain,” he
murmured, not quite knowing what to do with his hands. “This is all very
enjoyable, but that car’s getting closer and—”

“Shut up, Captain,”
she returned in a throaty whisper, “and kiss me back. I know what I’m doing.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Xris
said meekly, and obeyed her order to the letter.

Headlights flared.
A vehic pulled up alongside. Xris couldn’t see it, due to Tess’s hair being in
his eyes, but by the sound of the engine, it was a hoverjeep. Nuke lamps beamed
in through the car window. Tess pulled back from Xris, turned her head slightly.
Xris kept carefully hidden in the shadows.

Tess blinked at
the bright light. “Jeez, guys, shove off, will you? Give a girl some privacy!”

“Sure thing, Tess.
Sorry,” came a female voice. “Just wanted to make certain you weren’t having
car trouble.”

Another woman in
the car laughed. “She probably fed him the old line about being out of gas. You
heading out to Jake’s later?”

“Maybe,” Tess
answered. “Maybe not. I’ve got plenty of gas! So just clear out, will you?”

The women laughed
again. The jeep whizzed off, its jets sending up clouds of sand. “My roommates,”
Tess explained, turning to Xris.

“They didn’t
seemed surprised to see you here.”

“No,” she
admitted, snuggling back into his arms. “The area around here is known
unofficially as Lover’s Lane. My,” she added, putting her hand on his chest, “your
heart’s pounding. Real or artificial?”

“Artificial,” Xris
said, “but the hormones are real.”

Tess slid her
hands up around his neck. “Is that it?” she said, teasing, “And I thought you
were just nervous about getting caught.”

He was going to
make a suitable rejoinder, but found something better to do with his lips.

After a few highly
enjoyable moments, Tess drew back away from him, regarded him speculatively.

“You weren’t, were
you, though?” she said.

“Weren’t what?”
Xris asked.

“Worried about
getting caught.” Tess’s tone was serious, thoughtful. “Most colonel’s aides I’ve
known would have been sweating their captain’s bars. But then, you’re different
from most. You’re a bit too old to be a captain. And, this may sound odd, but
do you know that if I’d just met the two of you—you and Jatanski—and you were
both out of uniform, I would have guessed that you were
his
superior
officer.”

Damn, this woman
was sharp! She was peeling off layers faster than Xris could glue them back
down.

“You nabbed me,”
he said. “I used to be a general. Got busted to private for fraternizing with
... what’s your job classification?”

“Special projects
officer.”

“For fraternizing
with special projects officers. I’m working my way back up the ranks. I expect
to be a general again in about a year. When that happens, I’ll come back here
and propose to you and we’ll get married and have ten kids and you can teach
them all how to shoot straight. We’ll name our firstborn Jatanski.”

“You!” she said,
shoving him away. “You’re incorrigible.”

“Is that a good
thing?” Xris asked.

“Look it up,” she
retorted. “You must be thirsty after that long speech.” She slid across the
seat, over to the controls. “Ready to go to town, Captain?”

“Drive on, Captain.
Where are we headed, by the way? The place your roommate said? I forget the
name—”

“Jake’s.” Tess
nodded.

The staff car
whirred off, heading for the distant lights. The two inside were both silent,
enjoying the ride, joying the sparks of electricity still lingering in the air,
savoring what had passed, anticipating what was to come.

What was to come.
Yeah, Xris coldly reminded himself—you’ve got to steal that damn robot. You’re
here on business, not pleasure.

“What is Jake’s? A
local bar?”

“Yes, it’s on the
edge of town.”

“I thought the
nasty off-worlders weren’t supposed to mingle with the home folk.”

“We’re not
supposed to, and we don’t, for the most part,” Tess said. “Jake’s is different.
I guess you could say we have an arrangement. Strictly off the record, of
course.”

“Of course,” Xris
said. “Which is why you often smuggle men off base in the trunk of the staff
car. My guess is that you’re a serial killer. You prey on innocent male
officers. Maybe that’s, what happened to Jatanski.”

“I confess. I lured
him off base, had my way with him, then bashed him over the head with a beer
bottle. You’re next, you know.”

“You may find the
bottle-bashing difficult in my case. My head’s mostly steel. What do you do
with the bodies?”

“I have them
stuffed,” Tess said, grinning. “You’ll look great in my museum. I’ll put you
next to Jatanski.”

“No, I want an
entire wing to myself,” Xris stated. “ ‘Creative Things Done with Metal.’ “

“You never let
people forget, do you?” Tess glanced at him sidelong.

“
I
can’t,”
he said. “Why should anyone else?”

He stared straight
ahead, across the red Pandoran sand that shone with a faintly phosphorescent
gleam. Beneath the cloud-dark sky, the softly glowing sand, dotted here and
there with black clumps of plants, made for an eerie landscape. His fingers
itched to take a twist from the case in his pocket. He tapped his hand moodily
on the armrest.

“You can hate me
all you want, but don’t dare pity me. Is that it?” Tess said archly.

“Something like
that.” Xris settled back, faked a relaxed pose. “Look, if you dig any deeper,
you’re going to strike oil. Tell me about this bar. What arrangement do you
have? The only people who get busted are privates?”

“You can’t brush
me off that easily,” Tess said, shaking her head. Her blond hair fell over her
shoulders. Her hands on the staff car’s steering controls were supple, capable.
She filled out her uniform well—the latest fashion would have said too well,
but her ample figure was toned, firmly muscled. Laughter and intelligence made
her features attractive. “I can’t hate you and I refuse to pity you, so where
does that leave me?”

“I don’t know.
Captain,” Xris said, smiling in spite of himself. “Where does that leave you?”

“Liking you,” said
Tess softly. “Liking you very much. Now,” she added, tossing her head, flipping
the blond hair back, “what do you want to know about Jake’s? It calls itself a
bar. I suppose most people would call it a dive. It’s run by a Pandoran who
likes money more than he hates off-worlders. The beer’s cold and the whiskey’s
okay and the place isn’t raided oftener than once a quarter. The restrooms are
filthy—at least the women’s is, I wouldn’t know about the men’s. Every so often
we girls get sick of it and go in and clean it up. Anyone who can get off
base—legitimately or otherwise—goes to Jake’s. And that’s about it.”