Robin's Reward (Bonita Creek Trilogy Book 1) (16 page)

Robin joined in. Soon she was able to compose herself enough to say, “Hopefully you’ll never give me a reason to be so harsh in the name-calling area in the future. All of those awful names could smear my reputation.”

“Robin, the first time we spoke you mentioned your relationships with men have all been sour. I sensed a man had hurt you deeply, and you were scarred by the experience. Will you trust me and talk to me so we can move past whatever doubts you have about becoming involved with me? It doesn’t have to be tonight, but I want to hear your story in your own words. Talking about it will help us to move forward in our relationship.”

He heard Robin choke back a deep sob. She looked up at his face.

Tearfully she said, “Actually, it’s not one scar. It’s two. I’m not ready to share those chapters of my life with you yet. I can’t share my past with you so soon. Can we spend some more time together so I can become more comfortable with you?”

“I’m not rushing you.”

“I’m sorry to put you off. Everyone knows chapter one. I’ve only told two people what happened in chapter two. I told my best friend and cousin, Penny, and we spent many hours sharing the pain I felt. Then I shared with Pastor White in our counseling sessions. He helped me to find my way back to the light so I could heal. I understand why you want me to open up to you, but I’m just not in a place where I can do it right now. I need to trust you more before I can open up my soul to you.”

Tears rushed down her cheeks and she clumsily wiped them away. Jeff held her face in his hands with gentleness as he gazed into her misty eyes.

“I’ll wait as long as you need me to wait. I can be a patient and persistent man when I want something. I’m willing to invest myself in this relationship for the long haul if we agree to pursue it. Whenever you’re ready, you can tell me anything you want to share with me. The timetable of when we talk about it is all yours.”

Not sure she could make an intelligible reply without crying out loud, Robin quickly nodded her head.

“I’ve got to be up early for work tomorrow. Do you want to stop by tomorrow night for another chat?”

“Yeah—I’ll be here.”

~*~

Monday moved along quickly as Bruce and Shirley helped Robin to count the cash from the weekend’s Storybook Fair. The trio discovered the revenue from this year’s event doubled the previous year’s take. The library would be able to pay cash for the new heating and air-conditioning equipment. Installation could be scheduled for next weekend and would be completed before the summer’s heat blanketed the town. 

“You did really well, Miss Bennett,” Bruce said as he and his wife prepared to leave. “I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Bonita Creek is blessed to have you as our librarian.” Shirley nodded her head in agreement.

“And this librarian is blessed to have Bonita Creek. I appreciate all you
both did to make this year’s event such a success. Thanks for your dedication to the library. I’ll see you again soon.”

Robin wanted to contact Sam Baker about ordering the equipment and setting up the installation date for the next Saturday and Sunday when the library would be closed for business. She reached him on his cell phone and told him they had the cash to pay for the new system. He confirmed the installation dates and congratulated her on reaching her goal.

A couple of years earlier Robin had launched a Facebook page for the library. It was fun to post announcements, links, and photos for the followers. In return, many of the families posted photos of the children reading books and little blurbs about books they liked. It was one of the first things she checked each morning.

When she logged in to her admin screen, she was shocked to see a photo of the bouquet of wildflowers Jeff had brought to her house the other night posted on the library’s timeline. Who had taken the photo? The flowers had been carelessly left out on the porch table and forgotten by Robin. She hadn’t thought of them again until she saw this photo.

The post was by Susan Stinson:

This pretty bouquet was given to me last night by my handsome boyfriend, Jeff Clarke. Thank you, my love.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
   Susie

Rage pumped through Robin’s veins. “Unbelievable! He must have taken the flowers to Susan after he left my place. What a creep.”

Robin hadn’t previously restricted the settings on the Facebook page because she hadn’t anticipated any problems. After she removed Susan’s post, she changed the settings so nothing new could be posted on the timeline without Robin’s prior approval. She felt especially uneasy about Susan’s latest trick because the pranks seemed to be getting bolder and more personal.

~*~

When she opened her front door to his knock, Jeff was greeted by Robin with a sneer and frosty, “Hi, handsome boyfriend.”

“What was that?” he asked in response.

“You’re not a good actor, Jeff.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’re not a good liar either.”

“Whoa! You’re being brutal, Robin. I’m clueless as to what you’re talking about.”

“Today Susan Stinson posted on the library’s Facebook page that her, and I quote, ‘handsome boyfriend, Jeff Clarke,’ had given her a certain bouquet of wildflowers which just so happen to look exactly like the ones you brought to me on Saturday night.”

“What?” Jeff shouted.

“Yeah, she even posted a photo of the flowers.” Robin’s glower made Jeff feel about two feet tall. “Here. Look for yourself.”

Robin handed him her phone with the Facebook post displayed on the screen. He shook his head slowly as his face warmed in embarrassment.

“Tell me the truth, if you even know
how
to be truthful. Did you take those flowers over to Susan after you left my house?”

“Absolutely not. The last time I saw the flowers they were here on your porch table. She must’ve helped herself to them. Robin, I swear, I did
not
give those flowers to Susan Stinson.”

“I’m not sure I believe you. We always come back to the same thing about your honesty.”

“I’m telling the truth this time.”

“This isn’t a good night for us to get together. I’m really ticked off at you, and I don’t want to say things I’ll regret.”

“Understood. How about tomorrow night?”

“I guess we can try . . .”

“See you another time.”

Robin spent the rest of the evening moping around her house trying to decide whether to continue seeing Jeff or to break things off.
I really like the guy, but I don’t like this cloud of doubt hanging over my head whenever he tells me something. Men!

~*~

Things were strained between the two the next evening, but they spent a couple of hours talking about Jeff’s background. He talked about his parents and his upbringing in rural Michigan. He shared about his sister, Pamela, who was ten years younger than he. His face lit up when he spoke of his intelligent, spirited sister. His sister was the most inspiring person in his life because of her optimistic ‘can do’ attitude about life. She was studying education at the University of Michigan.

“Pam teases me about being a Californian now. This state is considered another planet to some Michiganders. They think Californians are a bunch of wild-haired liberals who wear love beads and big flowers in their hair.”

Robin laughed until her stomach hurt.

“A certain sector of the population
did
do those things and worse back in the late sixties. Here in Bonita Creek we’re refined, dignified, contributing members of society.”

Robin sensed a subtle shift in Jeff’s mood, so she prompted him to continue sharing his life’s story. He sighed and his face became shadowed as he told her how their brother, Gregory, had been killed at age five when he drowned in a pond on their grandparents’ property. He’d been nearly three years younger than Jeff. The rambunctious duo had spent many happy hours together planning their adventures, playing, and discovering the world around them.

Jeff’s voice cracked with emotion as he told her what happened that horrific afternoon. “We were walking our new puppy, Buster, on the edge of the pond at Nana and Poppa’s. Buster was your typical, excitable fuzzy black ball of fur.” He smiled at the memory.

“I was usually the one who held the leash because my hands were bigger and I was naturally stronger than my little brother. But Greg begged me to let him hold the leash just this once. As I should’ve predicted, Buster tugged on the leash, and it slipped from Gregory’s small hands. We started calling the puppy’s name as he ran playfully toward the water. The more we chased Buster, the further away he ran.”

“As we approached the water, I told Gregory not to follow the puppy. It was really muddy and slippery on the bank. I knew we couldn’t save the puppy in time.” Jeff bowed his head in grief he still clearly felt deeply.

“Gregory loved the puppy so much . . . Long story short—Gregory ran toward the bank and followed Buster into the water. I couldn’t reach either of them in time. I lost both of my best friends the same day.”

Robin reached for Jeff’s hand. Her need to comfort him felt so natural. “It wasn’t your fault. It was an accident. You can’t blame yourself.”

“Try telling my parents. They will
never
forgive me for not preventing their youngest son from running straight into harm’s way. Gregory’s death has had a long lasting and life-changing effect upon my parents and me. He was such a special little guy. He had a capacity to love the people around him I’ve never observed in another human being.”

Jeff confessed the light and happiness had been permanently dimmed in his parents’ lives when Gregory was killed. Pamela was born a couple of years after the tragedy. 

“They say a parent never gets over the death of a child, and my parents are living proof.” Robin and Jeff held each other in silence until he shared
his
best friend was his cousin, Douglas.

“We’re much like you and Penny, I think.”

Douglas and Jeff had grown up together and shared many interests and good memories. They attended the same university and roomed together in their junior and senior years. Jeff spoke about his college years and how he’d returned to graduate school a few years ago to earn a master’s of business administration.

They discussed many subjects the next few nights, but not another word was spoken about either’s previous relationships with the opposite sex. Both of them had a lot to think about after this amazing few days spent becoming acquainted.

As their conversation began to wind down on Thursday night, Jeff looked Robin in the eye and shyly asked her, “Will you
please
put me out of my misery and go out to dinner with me on Sunday night?  I want to begin our relationship as soon as possible, and by my way of thinking I’ve been waiting patiently for a chance to date you for too long already.”

A sweet smile reached her eyes. “I’d be honored to go to dinner with you. I’ll be sure to announce publicly Jeff Clarke is
not
a scumbag weasel after all.”

He laughed. “Sounds fair to me. Want to walk to church together Sunday? We can go to whichever service you want. I need to do some laundry and chores around home, so I’m not free tomorrow afternoon.”

Stifling a yawn, Robin said, “Can we go to the late service?”

“I’ll swing by around ten to pick you up.”

As she closed and locked the door, Robin twirled around and shouted, “Ya-hoo!”

She heard Jeff’s laughter outside. He approached the cottage once again and spoke through the door. “I couldn’t agree more. See you Sunday around ten. Don’t forget about our date. You might want to dress up. We’re going someplace special.”

Robin opened the door slightly and answered in a soft voice. “I won’t forget.”

“Goodnight, Robin.”

How could I have thought he was a weasel and a ratfink?
This will be a night to remember. I feel it inside.

She admitted it would be to her benefit to tell Jeff about her father and Thomas Bennett sooner rather than later. When people began to see them together at church and around town, some might feel obligated to talk to him about her past.

Chapter 20

Exhilarated, Jeff dressed for church on Sunday morning.
He could hardly believe he’d
finally
be accompanying Robin this morning. Later this evening, he’d take her out to dinner and begin his quest to win her heart. After talking with several of the men in Bonita Creek about special restaurants in the area, he’d settled on a steak house in Ukiah called The Western Saddle. On Friday he’d made their reservation.

Robin was ready when he arrived at her cottage later. As they strolled the few blocks to the church, they discussed the topic of today’s lesson. Robin mentioned her friend, Jorie Woodstone, was scheduled to be the service’s soloist.

“Just wait until you hear Jorie sing. Her voice sounds like a songbird. People say she sings like an angel.”

“I admire anyone who has musical talent because I have none. The choir director at my church asked my mother to keep me home after I auditioned for a solo when I was about ten years old.”

Jeff’s reference to musical talent reminded Robin she’d mentally committed to talking with Jeff about Thomas today. She wanted to get the trauma and tragedy with her former husband off her mind before their dinner date tonight. Hesitating slightly on the sidewalk, she touched Jeff’s arm lightly. “When we’re walking home, I’m ready to tell you about what we talked about last night.”

His surprised expression told her he wasn’t expecting her to trust him with this intimate information so soon. “I don’t want you to feel rushed about this; I’m willing to wait . . .”

“No. I want to be the one to tell you about my past. After we’re seen together in church this morning, well-intentioned people are going to want to share their knowledge of and opinion of the situation. It’ll be better if I’m the one to tell you. You’ve proven yourself to be a patient and understanding man, so I’m counting on things going smoothly when the time comes.” She smiled up at Jeff.

“Whenever you’re ready to talk, I’ll be ready to listen. No pressure and no judgment,” he added softly.

The couple stopped talking as they climbed the stairs to the old church sanctuary. They found a place to sit together on a pew near the front of the church. The altar was decorated with two large vases of fresh cut Shasta daisies interspersed with an assortment of roses from Robin’s garden. The flowers made a stunning combination and brightened up the redwood interior of the humble sanctuary.

Pastor White entered the sanctuary and sat behind the podium. When the pastor stood to greet the congregation he glanced directly at the new couple and smiled at them warmly. Robin glanced sideways at Jeff. He was smiling broadly in Pastor White’s direction.
What are those two rascals up to?
she wondered.

Jorie’s solos were poignant and thought-provoking. The tall redhead had been singing in public since she was a young teen, so she possessed extraordinary poise and grace while performing for groups of any size. She was frequently requested to sing for weddings, funerals, and other occasions. For this service she’d been requested by Pastor White to sing the traditional hymn “How Great Thou Art” and the moving theme from the 70s film, “Bless the Beasts and the Children.”

Pastor White’s sermon was a touching lesson about caring for every living thing on God’s earth no matter how insignificant it may seem. A ripple of chuckles erupted through the congregation when the pastor pointed out even though he couldn’t personally see their value and purpose on the earth, he was certain God had a reason for creating cockroaches, bedbugs, termites, and rattlesnakes. When the pastor mentioned famous individuals from world history who had perpetrated evil acts upon innocent souls, the congregation became hushed.

Robin found the lesson powerful, yet comforting, when she related it to people she found to be undesirable and unwelcome in her own life. Two people who immediately came to mind were Thomas Bennett and Susan Stinson. Who was she to place judgment?

As the service ended, the pair made their way toward the front door. They reached Pastor White, standing just outside the church’s front door, and the pastor took Robin’s hand in his. He smiled as he gazed into her eyes.

“Thank you for a meaningful lesson, Pastor. I’ve already thought of a couple of ways to apply your message in my own life.”

“You’re welcome, my dear. How are things going for you?”

“I’m doing well, thank you. God is good.”

“Yes, He is. Glad to see you’re expanding your comfort zone by spending time with old Tom Sawyer here.” The pastor laughed quietly.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Pastor,” Jeff said.

“We’d both appreciate your prayers,” requested Robin.

“You’ve had them for the past few months. Enjoy your time together, you two,” the pastor said as he turned to greet the next congregants in line.

“He’s a wise old bird, isn’t he?” Jeff whispered in her ear.

“Yes, he’s wise, and smart like a fox, I think they say. No disrespect intended, of course.”

“Of course,” said Jeff with a twinkle in his blue eyes.

She searched the church patio for Penny and Jorie to introduce them to Jeff, but neither was anywhere to be seen. Jeff guided Robin down the stairs and onto the sidewalk toward home.

“Do you still want to talk to me this morning?”

Robin nodded her head with slight uncertainty. Without looking up she spoke. “Can we talk in my back garden? I feel at peace there. It’ll make it easier for me to share what I have to say.”

“Whatever you think is best.”

As they walked to Robin’s cottage they shared comments about the sermon, and Jeff said he thought Jorie was sang well enough to be a professional. She mentioned Jorie was a fantastic cook, and her life’s dream was to own a catering business someday soon.

~*~

After they entered the cozy cottage they went straight to the kitchen for some refreshments. Robin took some iced tea and juice out to the back patio—the same patio where Jeff’s fate had almost been sealed a few months ago. It took a few minutes of small talk before she relaxed enough to tell Jeff about her father’s abandonment.

“My mother died when I was fourteen of colon cancer. It was a horrible, slow death. Watching her suffer was awful. When she was gone, my dad fell apart. I mean, he literally could not function. So he dumped me off here at my grandparents’ front porch and took off. The bad thing is he didn’t warn me or my grandparents he was planning to do it. I believe his was a lie of omission. Am I talking too much?” She suddenly looked up at Jeff.

“No, talk as long as you want.”

“Dad didn’t prepare me for his plan, so I didn’t have a chance to say goodbye to my friends or pack my things. I thought we were coming here for a short visit.”

Robin sighed deeply. “Like I told you at the park that day, I never saw him again. He crashed his car into a tree up in Oregon. The highway patrol couldn’t definitely say it was suicide, but we always thought he did it on purpose because he couldn’t handle life without my mom.”

Robin’s face was clouded with emotion, but she didn’t cry. Jeff took her hand in his, and she immediately felt the comfort of a kindred spirit.

“So in chapter one of my life, I learned about lies and abandonment.”

“I imagine he loved your mother very much to be driven to do what he did. He loved you deeply too, otherwise he wouldn’t have thought to leave you in the capable hands of your grandparents.”

His remarks caused Robin to view her father’s actions in a more positive light. Perhaps she’d been wrong in being angry with her father all these years. Maybe he was just doing the best he could at the time. She waited a few minutes before launching into chapter two—the story of her marriage to Thomas. She started at the beginning of her relationship with Thomas to give Jeff an accurate history of the events that so powerfully shaped her life.

She was surprised how comfortable she felt sharing the intimate details with Jeff. He was a considerate listener, Robin thought more than once during the exchange. He didn’t interrupt her with questions or comments, he listened. His expression emoted sadness and outrage at the appropriate moments. He held her hand firmly in his when it was she obvious needed his support.

Through the course of opening up about her past, Robin found she was still ashamed she’d not seen the true Thomas Bennett during the many years they were together.

“. . . So that’s why I said what I did about my relationships being sour the first day we met. My one and only serious relationship with a man was a major
blunder and an extreme
failure. Sort of like one of Shakespeare’s romantic tragedies.”

Robin looked up to find Jeff’s eyes set on her face. She saw compassion in his expressive eyes. There was no room for pity or disgust, only empathy and affection. Neither one spoke for a few moments as he digested what she’d said. She sighed and gathered her thoughts and emotions. She was drained.

Jeff spoke in a soft, kind voice. “Thank you for trusting me enough to share a difficult chapter of your life with me. I’m sorry you had to endure so much pain. I promise you right now I won’t deliberately berate or harm you ever again. I’ll treat you with the respect and kindness you deserve.” He paused before continuing. “May I ask a personal question?”

She nodded hesitantly.

“Do you still love Thomas?”

Robin held his gaze but didn’t respond.

“Your failed marriage hasn’t changed my desire to spend more time with you. I’d like to discover where this merry-go-round called life leads us. Do you think there’s any chance for us, or does Thomas still have a firm hold on your heart?”

She shyly lifted her head to meet his gaze. As she looked into his vivid blue eyes she felt safe, secure, and treasured. She wanted to pursue a relationship and possible future with Jeff. She’d never asked herself if she still loved Thomas, but she was resentful toward him over his lies and their breakup. It pained her each time someone said her former husband’s name or brought up their past. She knew she was willing to walk away from the memories of Thomas and their failed marriage forever if it meant she had a chance to love and marry again. Maybe Jeff Clarke was her special someone. 

“I want to put my past with Thomas behind me. I admit I feel deep resentment toward Thomas for what he did and said to me. I stopped loving him a long time ago. Once he became another woman’s husband, my hope for reconciliation was put to rest. I’ll ask for God’s help in purging the resentment from my heart. If I need further guidance, I’m willing to talk to Pastor White.”

“You still didn’t answer my question.”

“I was getting to it, Mr. I-Want-An-Answer-Right-Now. Yes, Mr. Clarke, you have a one hundred percent chance of claiming a hold on my heart . . .”

Jeff reached for Robin and brought her close. As he caressed her soft skin he said, “You’ve made me a happy ratfink weasel—I mean, man—today. Thank you.”

“Thank
you
for being a good listener. It wasn’t as hard as I expected it would be to tell you about Thomas. God gave me the courage to set aside my fears of telling you about my past. I can’t wait to begin our adventure together . . .”