Robin Lee Hatcher (29 page)

“When’s she coming back, Pa?” Petula persisted. “I don’t like it when she’s gone.”

He pulled back on the reins, then twisted to look at his daughters on the seat next to him. “Miss Harris isn’t coming back.”

“Not coming back?” Sabrina’s eyes grew wide. “But she — ”

“You know that she’s planning to marry Mr. O’Donnell. She couldn’t stay with us for good. It was better that she go now.”

“But Pa — ”

“We’ll get along fine, the three of us. You’ll see. I’m not a bad cook and we can work together on the other chores that need done. And there’s no reason I can’t help you with your schoolwork this winter. There’s even talk that Challis will have a school come next fall. Won’t that be great?”

Petula turned her face into her sister’s coat and began to cry.

Gavin felt helpless in the wake of those tears.

Sabrina wiped her nose on her coat sleeve. “Why didn’t Miss Harris come and say good-bye?”

Not only did he feel helpless. He felt selfish. He hadn’t wanted to see Emily again. Seeing her again, once the decision for her to go was made, would have been too hard for him. He hadn’t considered that it would hurt Sabrina and Petula even more not to see her.

“That’s my fault, Brina. I . . . I thought it would be easier if I told you after she was gone. I’m sorry. I guess I was wrong.” He looked out across the snowy landscape. “Do you still want to go skating or would you rather go home?”

Sabrina sniffed. “Let’s go home, Pa.”

Home. The problem with home was, Gavin knew he would see Emily everywhere he looked. In the kitchen preparing a cup of tea or baking a pie. At the table, helping the girls with their schoolwork. Mending the children’s clothes while seated next to the fire in the parlor. Comforting Petula. Laughing with Sabrina. Stroking Joker’s head.

For the first time in his life, Gavin truly understood what life had been like for his father. Understood and pitied him.

The trip from Challis to Boise by stage was rough, cold, slow, miserable. For most of the journey, Emily kept her face turned toward the wall of the coach, her eyes closed. She didn’t want to talk. She didn’t want to be comforted. She wanted only to be left alone with her heartbreak.

It seemed like years rather than a few months since she’d ridden away from Boise in the back of the Blakes’ wagon, on her way to make a difference in the lives of two little girls she had yet to meet. But it had been
her
life that had changed most of all. She would never forget Sabrina and Petula — or their father. Not as long as she lived would she forget them.

She scarcely noticed the passing of time. The five-day stage ride passed in a blur. One day seemed the same as another. She disembarked from the coach when told to. She reentered it when told to. At the stage stops, she picked at her meals but never because she was hungry; she ate to please Maggie and for no other reason. She didn’t care to know how many miles they’d traveled or how many miles they had yet to travel. It mattered not at all to her.

Nothing would ever matter to her again.

Although Gavin told himself he’d rather chew nails than go into town for supplies having made the trip with Emily’s trunk less than a week ago, he couldn’t help wondering if she had stayed in Challis or taken up residence at Killarney Hall. For all he knew, she and Patrick were already wed.

It was none of his concern, one way or the other, he reminded himself as he stopped the sleigh in front of the mercantile. None of his concern.

Then he looked up and saw Patrick come out of the boarding house. His stomach sank. He wasn’t ready to see the two of them together, and he hoped she wouldn’t exit right behind her fiancé. She didn’t, to his great relief.

Patrick saw Gavin. Even from this distance, he could see the other man’s frown. Why a frown? Hadn’t Gavin done his friend a favor?

Patrick left the boarding house and headed toward Gavin. When he was still some distance away, he said, “You’re a bloomin’ fool, Gavin Blake.”

Gavin stepped out of the sleigh and onto the boardwalk. He wasn’t in the mood for whatever was coming.

“What’s wrong with you, mate? Have you got no sense at all?”

“I guess you mean Miss Harris.”

Patrick’s eyes narrowed. “What else would I be meaning?”

“I thought you’d be relieved that she isn’t working for me any longer. Now your wedding won’t have to wait until spring.”

“What the devil are you talking about? She broke our engagement.”

Gavin took a step back, as if the bigger man had struck him.

“Are you daft, man?”

“You aren’t getting married?”

Patrick shook his head, a look of disgust replacing the anger of moments before. “She wasn’t apt to marry me when she’s in love with you.”

In love with me?
Gavin wiped his hand over his face. Surely he hadn’t heard right.

“I’ve a good mind to knock some sense into you with my fists.”

“What made you think she was in love with me?”

“I guessed it when she broke our engagement. Should have guessed it sooner, but I turned a blind eye to all the signs, hoping she’d marry me anyway. Hoping I was wrong.”

Gavin looked toward the boarding house. “She broke your engagement just now?”

Patrick made a derogatory sound in his throat. “Saints alive, man! She left for Boise days ago. Went by stage with her sister and her husband. I never took you for a fool before this, Gavin, but a fool you are to have let her go.”

He hadn’t let her go. He’d done something much worse.

He’d sent her away.

Petula awakened Gavin in the middle of the night. “My chest hurts, Pa.”

As he sat up, still groggy from sleep, he thought perhaps she meant her heart ached the way his did. Then he touched her and found her skin hot.

“My head hurts too.”

“You’ve got a fever.” He got out of bed and lit the lamp. “Better keep you away from Brina so she doesn’t get sick too. Crawl into my bed while I get you a glass of water.”

She obeyed with a soft moan.

Gavin hurried into the kitchen, returning moments later with the promised drink. He lifted the girl’s head and held her while she took several sips. As soon as she was done, she turned onto her side and curled into a ball. Almost at once, she began to shiver.

Poor little tyke.

He tucked the blankets closer around her.

Joker nudged his thigh.

“Not now, boy.”

The dog nudged him again, then turned and padded out to the parlor. There, he looked back at Gavin and whimpered.

“All right. I’ll let you out.”

But Joker didn’t head for the door. Instead he went into the children’s room.

Gavin followed the dog, worry beginning to nag at him. Sure enough, when he leaned over to straighten the blankets, he found Sabrina burning with fever too. She coughed weakly, then rolled her head on the pillow from side to side.

He wished Emily was there. The children were sick and they needed her.
He
needed her. But she was gone. Gone because of his stupidity and stubborn pride.

Gavin returned to his bedroom, scooped Petula from the bed, and carried her back to her own room, laying her next to her sister. Then he went to the kitchen to fetch rags and a basin of cold water. He would send Stubs for Dr. Forester at first light, but until then, he had to do what he could to lower their fevers.

If only Emily was with him.

Thirty

As soon as the Branigan family arrived at their Boise home, Emily went to her old room, stripped out of her soiled travel clothes, and crawled under the covers on her bed. She would have cried, but her tears were spent. She was completely dried up on the inside. She hurt everywhere, from the tips of her toes to the top of her head. The ache was so bad all she wanted to do was go to sleep and never wake up. To sleep and forget.

God, please help me forget.

Maggie stood just inside the doorway, waiting while Dr. Weick examined Emily. When he turned toward her at last, the look in his eyes sent a frisson of fear coursing through her.

“Doctor?”

He moved toward her, and when he spoke, it was in a low voice. “Your sister is a very sick young woman, Mrs. Branigan. Keep your children away until the danger of contagion has passed.”

“What’s wrong with her?”

“Influenza.”

Influenza — contagious and often fatal, especially to the young and the elderly. “But she’ll recover all right. Won’t she, doctor?”

“It is difficult to say for certain, Mrs. Branigan. Get her to drink as many fluids as possible. Keep a cool compress on her forehead. Make certain that whoever cares for her washes their hands immediately upon leaving this room.” He turned and picked up his black leather bag. “I’ll return in the morning.”

Maggie didn’t show the doctor out. Instead she stepped closer to the bed.

Emily moaned, then mumbled a word.

Maggie thought it sounded like “Gavin,” but she couldn’t be sure.

Oh, Emily, you must get well. I couldn’t bear to lose you. Stay
strong, kitten. Stay strong.

A knock sounded on the door, and Sarah, their housemaid, looked in. “Mrs. Branigan, is there anything I can do to help?”

“Yes, Sarah. Move the children’s things downstairs, away from this room. They can sleep on the floor of the sitting room. I don’t want them coming upstairs as long as their aunt is sick. And Dr. Weick said we must wash our hands upon leaving the sick room. Please remember that.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And could you bring me a basin of water right away?”

“Yes, ma’am. At once.”

“Thank you, Sarah.”

When the maid was gone, Maggie pulled a chair close to the bed, sat on it, then began to fan the air over her sister’s face.

“Gavin . . .” Emily whispered.

“No, darling. It’s me. Maggie. I’m right here beside you. You’re going to be fine. You’re going to get well in no time at all.”

Emily moaned softly and rolled from side to side beneath the covers before quieting again.

“I’ll be right here if you need anything, dearest. Don’t worry. Maggie’s here.”