Robin Lee Hatcher (14 page)

The door to Emily’s room opened, and she stepped into the parlor. She wore another pretty gown, one he hadn’t seen before. Both she and the dress were out of place in this rustic cabin.

“Where are the girls?” she asked.

Dru set aside her mending. “Outside playing.”

“May I speak with the two of you a moment?” Emily moved toward them, the hem of her dress swishing against the floor as she walked, her hands clasped at her waist.

Gavin remembered the feel of her small hand within his as they’d waltzed in this room yesterday. He remembered it too well.

Emily looked straight at Dru. “Mrs. Blake, I’m very fond of Brina and Pet. You know I am. They’re wonderful girls, so bright and easy to teach.” She talked fast, her words almost running together. “But you see, I realized last night how much I miss my family. I think I should go home. I . . . I miss all the social events in Boise and my friends and the theater and . . .” Her words faded into silence, and her gaze dropped to the floor.

Gavin felt as if he’d been punched. He’d always known she didn’t belong here, but he’d almost forgotten. He’d almost begun to believe she would stay. He was a fool. As big a fool as his father ever was.

“I think I should return to Boise as soon as we’re able to leave the basin,” Emily ended.

Gavin stepped away from Dru and strode toward the door. “You’ll have to wait for the stage in Challis, Miss Harris.” He slipped his arms into his coat sleeves. “I’ll check on the girls.” He slammed the door behind him.

He never should have let down his guard. He never should have let himself believe that Emily might be different from other beautiful women of means. He never should have taken her in his arms and danced with her. Never . . . never . . . never.

He should have refused Dru when she first made the suggestion to hire a governess. He should have told her he could take care of everything. He could have taught the girls their lessons. He could be Dru’s nurse and companion. They hadn’t needed someone else, but because he hadn’t stuck by his guns, Dru and the girls would be hurt when Emily left.

Giggles filtered down from the loft as he stepped into the barn, and he knew Sabrina and Petula were playing with the kittens. He was in no mood for laughter or children’s banter. Without a word, he turned on his heel. Swift strides carried him away from the barn and off toward a copse of aspens.

He remembered again the day his mother had left them, the way she rode away without a backward glance. Then he imagined Sabrina and Petula watching Emily Harris leave. They would be heartbroken. They adored her, and she was leaving because life here was too hard.

Or was she leaving because of him? The thought stopped him in his tracks.

Was it possible that she’d guessed that he’d begun to care for her — even as he’d tried to deny it to himself?

Dru tapped lightly on the door to Emily’s bedroom. “May I come in?”

“Of course,” came the soft reply.

She opened the door.

Emily was seated on the edge of her bed, her hands clenched in her lap. Her cheeks were damp with her tears. “I’m sorry, Dru. I thought I could do this, but I was wrong. I can’t help it.”

Dru sat beside her and took hold of her left hand. “What has really upset you, Emily? I don’t believe it is because you miss the social activities in Boise City.”

“But it is. I — ”

“When you took this job, you promised to stay through spring. I must hold you to that.”

“But — ”

“I’m ill, Emily, and I’m going to get worse. My daughters love you already. They trust you. They’re going to need you more than you know. You can’t leave them now. They’ve suffered enough loss in their short lives. Please. Keep your promise to me and to them.”

Emily drew her hand from Dru’s grasp, rose, and began to pace the floor.

Dru saw the turmoil written on the young woman’s face, and for a moment, she felt ashamed of herself. Ashamed for using both Gavin and Emily the way she had done, the way she still meant to do. But if they could learn to love each other the way she hoped they would, the way she thought they were already beginning to, wouldn’t it all be for the best? Ruthlessly she pushed away her doubts. She had believed with all her heart that God had ordained this plan. She would not falter now.

“Emily, I cannot allow you to leave,” she repeated, more forcefully this time. “You must abide by your word of honor. I beg of you. You must stay in our employ until spring. The girls will need you when I am gone.” She paused, then added, “Gavin will need you too.”

Emily stopped her pacing and turned to face Dru. Defeat was written in her eyes. “I wish you understood,” she whispered.

“I understand much more than you know. Please, Emily. You must stay.”

She released a deep sigh. “All right, Dru. I’ll stay.”

October 12, 1883

My dear Maggie,

I write this letter while we are still in the basin, but it
won’t be posted until we arrive at the main ranch and I can
send it to Challis. Mr. Blake believes we should be able to
leave in three or four days. Perhaps I will have more news to
share by then that I can send at the same time.

We had quite the snowstorm earlier this week. You would
have thought we were in the dead of winter instead of the
middle of October. The heavy snow has delayed our departure.
Fortunately, Mr. Blake had returned from the cattle
drive before the storm began.

Maggie, I almost decided to come home. Although I love
the children and Mrs. Blake has become like a sister to me,
there are some things that make being here more difficult than
I expected. But I cannot leave. I gave my word, and I am
needed here. I hope I shall prove myself worthy of Mrs. Blake’s
trust.

Emily laid the pen on the table and hid her face with her hands. She wanted her sister’s advice, but she couldn’t bring herself to write all that she felt, all that had happened. She couldn’t write that there was no place she would rather be than dancing in the arms of Gavin Blake.

God forgive me.

Gavin had been angry when she told them she wanted to go home. She’d
wanted
him to be angry. She wanted him to stay angry. Only then might she be all right.

She took up the pen again.

I will have my own cabin when we arrive at the main
ranch. I believe that will make my job a little easier. Here
in the basin, I have a room of my own, but that provides too
little privacy.

Maggie dearest, please pray that I shall prove myself worthy
of the trust that’s been given to me. Pray that I will be
strong and able to handle whatever comes my way. It comforts
me to know you are already praying for me.

Give my love to Tucker and the children, and tell them
I am missing you all so very much. I will write again soon,
and I look forward to the letters that I’m sure are awaiting
me in Challis.

Your devoted sister,

Emily

Fourteen

The journey to the main ranch, located ten miles outside of Challis, took six days. The trail — it couldn’t be called a road — was often narrow, sometimes squeezed between a rising mountain on one side and a steep drop-off on the other, sometimes following creeks and rivers through flats and draws. The team and wagon were often slowed to a near halt by the difficult terrain.

They were an odd-looking group, Emily thought. Gavin drove the wagon with Dru either at his side or resting on the makeshift bed behind the seat. In addition, the wagon held several trunks, a basket containing an unhappy Countess and her mewing kittens, and a wooden cage full of squawking chickens. The two milk cows were tied to the back of the wagon, and Sabrina’s orphaned calf trotted along beside them. Emily and the girls brought up the rear on horseback.

Twilight had spread a gray mantle over the countryside by the time Gavin brought his tired band of travelers into the yard of the Lucky Strike on the sixth day after they departed the Stanley Basin. Emily was too weary to give anything more than a cursory glance at the house and outbuildings before sliding from the palomino’s back. Every part of her body ached. Her backside. Her thighs. Her arms. Her head. She longed for a bath and a night in a real bed. She would have to settle for the latter for now.

Gavin hopped down from the wagon seat, then turned to hold his arms out for his wife. Emily watched as Dru slipped into his strong embrace, her head nestled in the curve of his shoulder and neck. For a moment, Emily forgot her resolve and wished he might hold her in the same manner. How wonderful to be cared for so tenderly.

Gavin looked her way. “I’ll need your help getting everyone settled.”

There was no tenderness about his tone of voice, no doubt about the coldness of his feelings for her. No, her request to leave the Blake family, her wish to return to Boise, had brought about its desired effect. If there had ever been a warming of feelings between them, it was gone now. Gavin felt nothing but disdain for her. And that was what Emily had wanted, to keep him at arm’s length.

Wasn’t it?

Early the following morning, Emily sat up in bed, the blankets tucked around her, the room as cold as ice. Perhaps it wouldn’t be nice having a cabin to herself as she’d once thought. Not if it meant freezing to death.

And it wouldn’t get any warmer unless she did something about it.

With a swift motion, she threw back the covers and hurried across the room to the black iron stove. A nearby box held wood and kindling, and she tossed some of both into the stove’s belly. Shivers raced through her, making it difficult to strike a match.

“Come on. Come on.”

On the fourth try, the match flickered to life, and she held it to the kindling, watching and hoping until it began to burn.

“Please don’t go out.” She stomped her bare feet and hugged herself.

When it was clear she’d succeeded, she dashed back to bed and burrowed beneath the blankets. After a short while, with the chill losing its grip, she appraised her new lodgings, something she’d been too tired to do the previous night.

The one-room cabin was plain but of a comfortable size. In addition to the stove and bed, there was a table and two chairs, as well as a sideboard for dishes and a cupboard for storing a few food supplies. Curtains adorned the lone window, and a rag rug covered the board floor.

This had been Gavin’s home before he married Dru.

She closed her eyes, wanting to shut out thoughts of him. At least the wrong kind of thoughts. Her feelings for him would be no different than what she felt for Dru and their daughters. She would make sure of it. She would take her thoughts captive. She would get through the coming months and not forget herself again. Once spring came and Gavin was ready to take his family and his cattle back into the basin, Emily would return to Boise. She would find employment as a teacher. Maybe she would marry one of her former suitors. She would make a new life for herself — far from Challis, far from the Lucky Strike.