ROAR (38 page)

She took a breath and grinned. “Glad all that is out of the way. Now, it’s time to get into the gray areas. Well, not gray for me, but possibly for you.”

“Such as?”

“When the time is right for you, I’m more than agreeable to oral and manual stimulation, both giving and receiving.” Did his grin mean he might be as well? Something had changed in him tonight. Walls were coming down. When more blocks tumbled away, she wanted him to take it to the next step without stopping to negotiate.

She may never learn what all of his own limits were; he’d simply avoid them, unless something triggered him. Perhaps he needed to hear one more thing from her. “You’re in control of the scenes, and I have my safeword. We should have no trouble exploring together.”

She added, “Oh, intercourse with you is no longer off limits for me, but I respect your decision to wait until
you’re
ready to take that step.” More like a giant leap.

He glanced away momentarily. When he met her gaze again, she heard his reservations. “I don’t want to hurt you for anything in the world. If I run cold on you when we return home, I don’t want the added guilt of taking our relationship to that level of intimacy.”

She nodded her agreement. She’d never known a man with such restraint, but his honor and integrity were two major factors she’d found desirable in Kristoffer in the first place. “I appreciate you for slowing things down, Kristoffer. I’m not a prude and enjoy healthy sex, but my impulsiveness in past relationships has led me to plunge into the deep end when I should be putting in my big toe and testing the waters first.”

She leaned forward. “But when our test days are over, I’m ready to high dive into the deep end with you whenever—
if
ever—you are.”

“You’ll be the first to know,” he said with a disarming grin. Then he sighed. Doubt or guilt must have blasted him again, though, because he grew serious almost immediately, raking his fingers through his hair. “I’ve only started to come to grips with this new world order. So until I’m certain I can commit to something more long-term, we won’t have intercourse.”

Pamela grinned and placed her hand on his sleeve. “I agree.”
Yes!
He hadn’t taken oral and manual off the table. Trying to maintain her composure, she said, “Thank you for taking care of me so well, both as Kristoffer and as Roar. Look how far we’ve come tonight alone. I’m excited about the prospect of more advanced play scenes. Whatever you’re comfortable with works for me. You’re in charge.”

Their negotiations seemed very thorough, but then Kristoffer was used to having deals spelled out in minute detail. What could be more important than negotiations between a Dom and a submissive?

Kristoffer closed the space between them and placed a kiss on her lips. Not a peck, but not as deep as before, either. However, he prolonged the kiss long enough to make her lips tingle before he pulled away. “Thank you, Pamela. We’ll continue to reassess our relationship and communicate like this periodically to be sure both of us are having our needs met.”

With impeccable timing, the limo dropped them off at the house at that point. After tipping the driver, and eager for tonight’s scene, Kristoffer sent her off to follow his earlier instructions, not repeating them. She hoped she’d remember everything. First and foremost, she didn’t want to disappoint him.

After towel-drying her hair, she brushed and pulled it into a scrunchie high on her head and perfected the Heidi bun. She’d loved when he’d kissed her neck earlier and wanted to leave that part of her anatomy bare and accessible. She started to slip on her mules to give her some height, but remembered he’d said no shoes.

Placing her hand on the doorknob, she inhaled deeply and let the breath out over several seconds. And again. Why was she so nervous? He’d seen her in the nude before. Ah, but they were two strangers then. Tonight would be vastly different.

They had turned a page. If only she knew what would be written on it and the following ones. The not knowing was frustrating.

Therein lies my problem

Stop trying to figure out his every move.

Let him be in charge.

Surrender.

*     *     *

Kristoffer had prepared the scene in the bedroom. Now all he had to do was wait. In his mind, the time was right. But his heart and head weren’t always on the same bar in the sheet music. When her door opened, he drew a deep breath to brace himself for the monumental shift their relationship would take tonight.

Holy hell, am I in trouble.

Her bare breasts registered with him first: High, rosy areolas, begging to be touched.

Not yet.

He met her gaze, surprised to find a glimpse of insecurity there.

“So beautiful, Sprite.” At his words, she smiled and relaxed. Moving into gear, he closed the space between them and placed a kiss on her cheek. “Ready?”

“I think so.”

She’d been hurt by someone she’d submitted to before. He would need to reassure and praise her frequently to let her know he was pleased until she came to know him better.

Wrapping his arms around her, he hugged her close. “I’ll do nothing to harm you, Sprite, not intentionally anyway. Even though we’ve only known each other a short time and not in the capacity of an intense, intimate relationship, we’ve always been able to share with each other. Communication will be key, but there are more ways to communicate than verbally.”

He kissed her cheek, released her, and stepped back. “Because I want to strengthen your powers of concentration and improve your discipline over your body, I’ve decided to put you into sight and voice deprivation tonight. Are you okay with that?”

“Yes, Sir. I welcome the challenge.” Her confidence level seemed higher already.

“If you need to safeword, of course, you should feel free to speak up. Tell me again your safeword and slow-down word.”

“Jeannie and Cocoa Beach, Sir.”

The words never failed to conjure up the sexy genie and the astronaut and leave him smiling.

“I should point out that if you break voice restriction, the consequence will be a ball gag.” He hoped she hated it as much as he did, but the gag wasn’t on her limits list.

She nodded, apparently afraid to speak even now.

“Time to get you into the proper headspace. Turn around, Sprite.” Holding both ends of the necktie he planned to use as a blindfold, he situated it over her eyes and tied it securely at the back, below her bun. While he loved having her hair down, playing with fire and wax could be both dangerous and messy.

Coming around her, he took the liberty of enjoying her body more slowly without worrying about being a gentleman. As in the classroom, when he’d seen her standing proudly naked during his tour, his gaze went immediately to her neatly trimmed bush. He loved that she didn’t shave completely bare, not that he would express his preferences to her. Still, she had spent time recently at least working on the bikini area from what he could see.

Taking her by the arm, he led her through the great room to his bedroom. He’d removed the top sheet and duvet already, so he guided her to sit on the edge of the mattress. He lifted her feet and swung her legs onto the bed. She was half sitting up. “Lie back.” She followed his command without hesitation, her response flowing over him like a fine Miles Davis trumpet solo.

He re-engaged his brain after his flight of fancy. “I want you to think of your favorite fantasy now.” While she was busy with that, he reached into his toy bag on the floor to retrieve the white soy candles, a saucer, and the butane lighter he’d packed in Denver and set them on the nightstand. He’d already stowed the kitchen fire extinguisher near the nightstand as a safety precaution. He’d kept everything out of sight in case he decided not to blindfold her in the other room.

He took a moment to reassess where and how he intended to restrain her. The bed wasn’t nearly as full of possibilities as his own back home, but he’d make do with what he had.

The tie-downs he’d bought at the store tonight awaited him at the four corners of the headboard and footboard. He’d tested their strength earlier and found them substantial enough to hold a willing submissive firmly in place. One of the areas he planned to work on with her tonight was her ability to control her movements, too, so he wouldn’t expect her to struggle against them.

Before he restrained her, though, he needed one more item from the kitchen. Gunnar would have strung him up by the balls if he’d left her alone while tied up. “I’ll be back in a moment. I want you to focus on your fantasy and on your breathing. Nothing else.”

When he returned to the bedroom and set the bowl on the nightstand beside the other items, he found her lying exactly where he’d left her. Back in Denver, she’d told him she enjoyed a variety of sensations.

Glancing away, he reached for the bottle of baby oil instead. As liberally and as dispassionately as possible, he coated her nipples, areolas, and breasts with the oil to make it easier to remove the wax later. Soft, yet firm. His ability to maintain control would be impossible if he kept touching her breasts, too. Making a fist, he pulled away.

Deep breath
.
Slow it down
.
Make it last.

Moving lower, he applied the oil to her belly and thighs. He ought to do the same on her mound but wasn’t ready to touch her there yet.

“Cup your right hand.” He squirted the oil her hand. “Now, spread the oil on your mound and labia. Try not to miss a spot.” She did as instructed. Seeing her touching herself even in a nonsexual way, turned him on even more.

With his hand at her side, he nudged her toward the center of the mattress and fastened the soft leather cuffs he’d bought for her wrists. He’d never dreamed he’d use them so soon.

After hooking the cuffs together and threading linen rope through the clip, he lifted her arms above her head and secured her to a clip on the bungee cord spread tightly between the two posts. Anxious to see her progress after only a few weeks of mind-focusing exercises, he left her feet unrestrained to test how well she would maintain focus and discipline.

Taking a moment to admire her stretched out on the bed, he smiled when his cock grew stiff. He fought back the urge to bend over and place a kiss on one swollen nipple. As if sensing where his gaze had fallen, both nipples bunched and became even more aroused.

Kristoffer picked up one of the candles and flicked the lighter until the wick ignited.

“Mmmm.” She smiled, no doubt aware of what was to come.

He might have to be more specific. “Behave. To me, voice deprivation includes making any sounds with your mouth, unless I ask you to make some noise for me or answer a direct question. I want this to be a night of pleasure and rewards, not consequences. But I will take corrective measures, if need be, in order to improve your training as my submissive. Understand?”

My submissive
. He liked the sound of those words.
Please don’t force me to use the gag, Sprite.

She nibbled the side of her lower lip, properly chastised, he hoped—or perhaps worried. “Yes, Sir.”

Punitive actions held no appeal to him—but he couldn’t shirk his responsibilities as her trainer—her Dom tonight. He’d deliver whatever discipline necessary to help her grow in areas they deemed in need of improvement.

With his head back in the scene, he tested a drop of wax on his inner wrist and determined that it would be safe at the height he intended to let it drop. Reaching over her, he let the next drop fall into the valley between her breasts. Her torso surged upward, and she screamed, “Oh!”

“Silence.” A second transgression. He blew out the candle and set it down on the saucer. While he had to admit there might be nothing sweeter to his Dom ears than to hear squeals, moans, and groans, those same sounds would also lead to his undoing. If her self-discipline truly was this weak, how would she handle what was to come?

He reached into his bag and removed the breathable ball gag from its packaging. As usual, Gunnar had seen this coming almost from the first. Kristoffer had hoped not to have to even open it, but chose one suitable for beginners with a smaller ball.

“Sprite, you’ve shown me that you aren’t yet able to control your mouth during a scene. Before I place the gag in your mouth, there are some changes to how you will safeword because you will no longer be able to speak.”

Good thing he’d considered the possibility of having to use a ball gag while shopping earlier, because he hadn’t brought a clicker to use as her safe gesture. He picked up the squishy toy he’d found in the office supply store next to the Dom Depot. The stress ball was shaped like a man, and dressed in the odd combination of a business suit and hard hat. Perhaps he represented an executive visiting a construction site.

Wanting to assess her anxiety level by making eye contact, he slid the blindfold up to her forehead. She blinked a couple of times, then smiled at him.

“I want you to become familiar with the item you’ll be using as your safe gesture now.” He held it above her head for inspection. “You’re temporarily out of voice restriction as well, in case you have any questions about either the gag or how to use a safe gesture.”

She nodded.

“You’ll use this talking stress ball instead of either safeword. All you have to do is squeeze, and I’ll know to stop.”

“What if you don’t see me do it?”

Like him, she’d never used a safe gesture like this before. “Good question, Sprite. Let me demonstrate.” He squeezed it, and the cheerful falsetto voice said with a lisp, “Remember, safety is our number one goal. So smile, be safe, and enjoy your day!”

Pamela fought to control her giggle at first, but seemed unable to regain her composure and soon broke into full-out laughter. How could he keep from smiling? Actually, the combination of the silly toy’s voice and her laughter relieved some of his tension, too.

After she’d regained her poise, he explained, “Sorry, but there wasn’t time to track down a party store to find a Gunnar-approved clicker to use. I’m still putting our toy bag together, but left many things at home. I didn’t realize what I would need.” He certainly never expected to have a scene this intense.