Road To Nowhere (4 page)

“But John didn’t let his jaw stay dropped. He quickly started in on her, saying that she had made his ears too big and his nose too long and that he should be carrying a rifle and looking macho. Candy couldn't listen. She pulled the sketch down, tore it in two and threw the pieces in the garbage. She started crying, which just made John hassle her more. There was no point in showing weakness around him. He saw it as an invitation to score more points. John saw all of life that way. That he had to score, to get ahead while the getting was good. Candy was the opposite. She let things happen, and if nothing happened, so much the better. She could bury her head in a book and know the world would keep turning.

“Afterwards, though, John felt bad for giving Candy such a hard time. He wanted to see more of her stuff, but she wouldn’t show it to him. She took all her sketches and hid them at a girlfriend’s house. From then on John never knew what she was drawing. It bugged him. He cared about Candy. He wanted to be involved in all parts of her life. But she wouldn’t let him in and that was too bad for her because John could have helped her get ahead, pushed her in the right direction. John could see already that Candy wasn’t cut out to be a doctor. She didn’t have the discipline. He tried explaining that to her parents, but then they didn’t want him coming over so he backed off. John was pragmatic. He wasn’t about to give up his girl just to save her vocation.

“The year went on. John got great grades and Candy did well, mainly because John passed her the answers on every test they took. They had arranged their schedules so that they spent almost the entire day sitting beside each other. John and Candy mastered the art of cheating with mirrors, flying spit balls, invisible ink, Morse code and even telepathy. Yeah, they were so close it was like John just had to look over at Candy and she would know what he was thinking. If the answer to question twenty was C, he would say, ‘I can always C you Ms C. Wherever you go, my eyes can C you.’

“John was possessive of Candy. If she so much as spoke to another guy, she got chewed out. And the other guy would end up with a bloody nose. John had a temper, there was no arguing that. His temper got the worse of him near the end of the school year. At the beginning of June, Candy and John were just a few days shy of graduating. They had one last test to take – chemistry. It was John’s strongest subject and Candy’s worst. She couldn’t pick up a test-tube without thinking she was taking an early pregnancy test. She thought the periodic table of elements wasn’t square enough. This was the girl who wanted to be a doctor!

“But she was on her way. She had got accepted at Berkeley, the same school as John. They had it all planned. They were going to live together in an inexpensive bungalow, get night jobs at a movie theatre, and make love at least twice a day. The only reason she got accepted at Berkeley, though, was because John had helped her raise her grades so much her junior and senior years. She was going to a school where she probably didn't belong and John knew it. But he figured he’d be able to pull her through.

“Anyway, they had this one last test to take in chemistry. John was prepared. Between lube jobs at the gas station he had studied his brains out. Candy had spent the same amount of time drawing pictures of God knew what. She walked into the test barely knowing that the formula for water was H
₂
O. They planned how John would get her the answers before the test began, but they didn’t plan enough. By this time they were both cocky, and thought that all teachers were fools. They never thought they’d get caught.

“Their teacher’s name was Mr. Sims. He had the habit, during tests, of leaving the classroom to do odd jobs in the storage area. He had done this all year, and John used that time to slip Candy answers. The storage area was directly connected with the classroom, Sims could always pop in at any moment. But John could hear him coming. Near the end of the test, Mr. Sims disappeared into the storage area. Candy was really sweating by then and looking over at John with pleading eyes. She hadn’t got past the third problem – there were twenty on the test. John pulled out a piece of scrap paper and jotted down his answers. He was already done with the test. He was always the first one done.

“John decided to drop the answers on Candy’s desk as he went to the front of the classroom to hand in his test. Mr. Sims was nowhere around, he made sure of that. Of course, there were a lot of other people watching. It was a class of forty students. But John didn't think about them much. He couldn’t imagine that one of his classmates would turn him in. That was one thing about John. He gave people a hard time, but he didn’t mean anybody any harm.

“Maybe it was the stress of the moment. Maybe John had made the girl feel bad earlier in the year and she had just been biding her time to get back at him. It doesn’t matter. John crumpled his scrap paper with the answers on it into a ball. As he got up, he let the paper fall on Candy’s test paper. Candy was ready, waiting for it. But she didn’t have time to get it out of sight before a girl in the back shouted for Mr. Sims to come into the room. Wait, I take that back. Candy did have time to get rid of the evidence. She could have stuffed the ball of paper in her mouth and swallowed it – but she froze. Mr. Sims was back inside in a moment. He wanted to know what was happening. The girl in the back pointed at John and Candy.

“‘John just gave Candice all the answers to the test,’ the girl whined. She had one of those annoying voices that you just knew would make her future husband want to have extra-marital affairs. Mr. Sims hurried over to John and Candy. He was in a sour mood. His wife had recently left him for a filmmaker of animal documentaries. He had been taking it out on his classes by making his tests harder and harder. Still, John didn’t expect Mr. Sims to slap him down. After all, he was his best student, the only one in class who was getting an A. He watched as Mr. Sims stormed towards him. He whispered to Candy to make the crib sheet disappear. Maybe Candy didn't hear him.

“‘Are you two cheating?’ Mr. Sims demanded. He wasn’t big – he was short and round. But he had been trying to act bigger since his wife had left him. His face was beet red, and John misjudged how angry he was.

“‘No, I was just handing in my test,’ John said. ‘I don’t know what Annie's talking about.’ The girl’s name wasn’t Annie. It was Sally. She had a two-ton chip on her shoulder. She jumped out of her seat and hurried to Mr. Sims. All this time, of course, the cheat sheet had been sitting right in the centre of Candy’s desk. Sally triumphantly reached down and picked it up and gave it to Mr. Sims.

“‘I saw John drop this on Candy’s desk a few seconds ago,’ she pronounced in her whiny voice.

‘Is that true?’ Mr. Sims asked Candy.

‘No,’ John said quickly.

‘It’s a complete lie,’ Candy agreed.

“Mr. Sims wasn’t buying it. He would have had to be pretty stupid to do so. ‘Then where did this paper come from?’ he asked as he unwadded it.

“John was feeling cocky. ‘I think it’s Annie’s,’ he said.

‘My name’s Sally and you are a big fat liar!’ Sally shrieked in her nasal twang.

‘This looks like your handwriting,’ Mr. Sims told John when he had the paper open in his hands. ‘I dare you to deny it.’

“John shrugged. ‘I don’t deny it,’ he said. ‘I just don’t think it’s that big a deal. Candy didn't have a chance to study on account of her mother being so sick and all. Ain’t that right, Candy?’

‘My mom has been feeling lousy since she grew her tumour,’ Candy told Mr. Sims. ‘She’s up practically every night throwing up blood.’

‘I saw your mom last month at the grocery store,’ Mr. Sims said, turning redder by the minute. ‘She looked fine to me.’

‘You should have asked her out,’ John said. ‘Her old man's such a pain in the ass – you wouldn’t believe it. I think you and Candy’s mom would make a nice couple.’

“Mr. Sims practically blew a blood vessel right then. Like I said, he was sensitive about his wife leaving him. And he was smart enough to know John was making a reference to that. He shook the cheat sheet in Candy’s face. ‘Did you ask John to give you these answers?’ he demanded.

“Candy didn’t answer right away and only stared at John. Finally John was beginning to see that things were not going to end happily. But he still had no idea how bad it could get. He figured there was no point in both of them getting in trouble. He said to Mr. Sims, ‘I gave her the answers. She didn’t ask for them. She didn't even know what I was doing when I dropped the paper on her desk.’

“Mr. Sims nodded slowly, staring John hard in the eye. He stuck out his hand. ‘Give me your test,’ he said. John did as he was told. Then Mr. Sims took the exam and methodically began to tear it into tiny pieces.

That freaked John out. He had studied hard for that test. It was a big one – it counted for a quarter of his grade. Taking a zero on it would drop his A down to a C. His own temper began to burn, and good things never followed when that happened. ‘What the hell did you do that for?’ he yelled at Mr. Sims.

“‘Because you are a spoilt little cheat,’ Mr. Sims yelled back. He pointed towards the door. ‘Get out of here and take your filthy mouth with you!’

“‘You can’t kick me out!’ John yelled back.

“Mr. Sims poked an angry finger in John’s chest. ‘I just did. Get out. You just failed your final exam. You are excused.’

“John slapped his finger away. ‘You’re pissed off because I suggested you go out with Candy's mom,’ John said. ‘I was just doing you a favour. God knows you’re going to have trouble finding another woman looking the way you do.’

“Mr. Sims lost it right then. He poked John in the chest again, hard this time so that John had to take a step back to keep his balance. ‘You didn’t just fail this test you two-bit cheat,’ Mr. Sims said. ‘You failed this class. That fancy college you think you’re going to won’t be taking you after I get through talking to them.’

“John didn’t like the sound of that. Mr. Sims was talking about fooling with his future, and John had big plans for his life. He was going far. He was going to do great things and people like Mr. Sims weren’t going to stop him. But John hadn’t learned yet that the smaller the person, the easier it is to trip over him. Mr. Sims had his leg sticking out and John was running by at the wrong time. John blew his top. He pulled his arm back and clenched his fingers and landed a fist on Mr. Sims’ jaw. The teacher hit the floor for a mid-afternoon nap – minus a few teeth.”

“Wow,” Teresa said, speaking for the first time. She hadn't even thought to interrupt. Free was a natural story-teller, and as he gathered steam, Teresa felt she was right there with John and Candy.

“John was expelled the next day,” Free continued. “In fact, he was arrested on charges of assault. His case went to trial and he got a strict judge. He couldn’t afford a lawyer and the one the state appointed him was an alcoholic. He trembled every time John spoke to him – he was worse than useless. Mr. Sims and Sally testified against John. Mr. Sims walked into the courtroom with his whole face bandaged – it was all a show. John was found guilty before he was sworn in. He ended up spending the summer in juvenile hall – not a nice place. He lost more teeth than Mr. Sims had before he saw the sun again as a free man. But John was tough, he survived. He survived by getting even tougher. He didn’t have anything left in his life to soften him. He didn’t get to see Candy once while he was inside. Her parents wouldn’t let her go anywhere near him. Their daughter was going to be a doctor. John Gerhart was already on the road down to nowhere. That’s how they saw it. That was how John’s own parents saw it. His mother only visited him twice, and that was because she felt guilty.

“While John was doing time, Mr. Sims and the school principal wrote a letter to U.C. Berkeley telling of the incident. They left out how Mr. Sims had poked John in the chest twice before John struck him. They called him a violent young man and stated that his academic achievements were a result of years of cheating. Berkeley wrote John a stern note of rejection. When John finally got out of juvenile hall, he felt he couldn’t get into a decent school anywhere.”

“What happened to Candy?” Teresa asked.

“Nothing,” Free said, smiling. Obviously Free must have known John well to give such a detailed account of his days in high school, but Teresa doubted Free had liked John. Free had told John’s story with enthusiasm, yet, oddly, without much personal emotion.

“Did Candy get to go to Berkeley?” Teresa asked.

“Sure,” Free said. “In the eyes of the powers that be, she had done nothing wrong. By the time John got out, she was at school, living the happy life of the college co-ed.”

“But didn’t John try to find her?” Teresa asked.

Free stared out the window. “Yeah, he tried. But he found her at the wrong time.”

“What do you mean?” Teresa asked.

“I should tell this part,” Poppy spoke in the back seat. “I knew Candy better than Free did.”

Teresa glanced over her shoulder. It was a rare moment; Poppy didn’t have a cigarette in her mouth. The quiet girl was leaning to the right, resting against the garment bag Free had shoved in the back seat.

“Tell me what happened,” Teresa said.

“I will,” Poppy said. “After you tell us more about Bill.”

“That’s fair,” Teresa said. “Bill and I had been going together less than a month when he came up with the idea of making me a singing star. That was the beginning of the end.”

CHAPTER FOUR

In reality Bill and Teresa had been dating for six weeks when Bill set up an audition for her at the Summit Club in Newport Beach. During those six weeks they had grown close. It was rare if they didn’t talk at least once a day on the phone. Their favourite pastime was to go for long walks and ramble on about everything. Teresa felt that since she had met Bill more words had come out of her mouth than during all her previous years combined. She seldom felt shy around Bill and didn’t feel she had to do the right thing all the time. Bill never criticized her. Being at ease in his company actually took Teresa some getting used to. At home with her parents – in particular with her mom – she could never relax.