Road Fever (7 page)

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Authors: Tim Cahill

BOOK: Road Fever
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T
HE ADVENTURE
had left them deeply in debt. The thought of paying off $80,000 on their income—the pair were each driving taxis in Toronto until they settled on a plan—was intensely disturbing. The only way to avoid personal and corporate bankruptcy was to launch another project, financed by more generous corporate donations. It was this financial problem that forced the two into the adventure-driving business. Unfortunately, projects kept falling through. In 1983, desperate, the partners traveled to England and met with Norris McWhirter, the editor of the
Guinness Book of World Records
.

“We were looking for a new record,” Sowerby said, “but we couldn’t think of anything, so here we were, two adventurers without an adventure. We met with Norris McWhirter in this typically British boardroom with big oak tables, lots of books and maps on the wall. Norris was wearing a blue pinstriped suit and drinking a mug of stout.”

It took only an hour and a half and three mugs of stout apiece to come up with the project: a two-driver automobile traverse of Africa, Asia, and Europe, the world’s largest landmass. Sowerby and Langley would drive from the southern tip of Africa to North Cape, Norway, over four hundred miles above the Arctic Circle. “The rules were that
we both could drive,” Sowerby said. “Norris told us, ‘The clock starts when you leave and stops when you get there. Everything in between is your problem.’ ”

So: a new project. Now the partners had to secure a proper vehicle, convince some giant automotive corporation that the adventure would be both successful and a good promotion, then recruit enough other sponsors to foot part of the bill, pay back their debts, and give them some margin of profit. GMC was a major sponsor, and John Rock was especially enthusiastic about seeing one of his tanklike Suburbans set a world record. Other subsidiary sponsors included companies that manufactured mobile telephones, one that made tires, and one that issued traveler’s checks. Because of the success of the around-the-world trip, and the partners’ growing sophistication in pitching their ideas, all major sponsors fell into line in about a year’s time.

“The effort that went into planning the trip was enormous,” Sowerby told me. “We spent fifty thousand dollars on telephone and telex bills alone. I mean, it took a year or so to set up. We started in January with the idea and signed the last contract in November. Then Kenny and I went on a reconnaissance to meet with people on the way: meet the auto-club people, the sponsors; meet with people from the Canadian government and the host governments; meet with the press people in various countries. There were two separate six-week recces. We wanted to make friends all along the route. Because time is the enemy, you have to make sure you’re expected when you arrive. You don’t want to have to spend two days at some remote border outpost.

“The diciest bit of politics had to do with the fact that we were starting in South Africa. No African country is going to let you in if you’ve been to South Africa. We figured the straightest approach was to tell the governments in the countries above South Africa exactly what we were doing. We made a deal: no press conferences at the start of the trip. No mention at all of South Africa. The first press conference would be in Nairobi, Kenya.” Press conferences in the midst of a record attempt were a financial necessity: the sponsors wanted maximum exposure for their products.

Sowerby had planned to drive through the Sudan, north and east of Kenya. The timing was critical. “The road in the Sudan,” Sowerby said, “floods out, and they close it about mid-March. That meant we had to start from South Africa on the first of March. But if we went any earlier, the road to North Cape, in Norway, would still be snowed in when we got there.”

A week before the trip was to start, Sowerby and Langley learned
that the Sudan road was closed because of an outbreak of civil violence in the southern part of the country. With a year’s work and several hundred thousand dollars hanging in the balance, Sowerby and Langley began working feverishly on an alternate plan.

It turned out that there was a road that led due north, from Nairobi into Ethiopia. “Nobody had used that border in ten years,” Sowerby said. “Well, we contacted the Canadian ambassador in Kenya who went to the president’s office and asked if we could use that road. He was told that the Kenyans had had problems there for the last twenty-five years. Problems with ambushes and bandits. The Kenyan officials said we could use the road only if they could provide a military escort.”

Meanwhile, the Canadian ambassador to Ethiopia was securing clearance in that country. “This was before the famine broke,” Sowerby said. “Our ambassador convinced the Ethiopian administrator of tourism that what we were doing was a goodwill trip and that it would be good for tourism.” In order to stress the point that Ethiopia was a terrific travel destination, Sowerby agreed to hold a press conference in the capital, Addis Ababa.

With permissions secured and a new route mapped out, Sowerby and Langley left Nairobi in the Suburban. “We picked up the military escort about three hundred miles south of the Ethiopian border,” Sowerby said. “Four guys with machine guns. They told us there hadn’t been an attack in six months. We get out on this road, this rough washboard road, and there is no traffic at all. It’s all desert out there: all this burning rock and scrub. That’s where we got shot up.

“Kenny was driving, and there were two soldiers sitting beside him, another one in the jump seat, and one in the bunk in the back. I was dozing in the alleyway between the two front seats. Kenny was playing a tape: Eddy Grant singing “Killer on the Rampage,” honest to God. We came around this tight turn, and one of the soldiers flipped his gun from lock to automatic. It must have been a famous ambush corner.

“All of a sudden I hear
pop-pop-pop
. Then all hell broke loose. Two of the soldiers had their machine guns out the window and they were just spraying the area. I could see them hiding behind the door pillar, not aiming, just firing for effect. And all of them were yelling at Kenny: ‘Faster, faster, faster!’

“There were six bandits out there firing single-shot bolt-action rifles. They had been hiding behind some scrub on the right-hand side of the road. Kenya is a former British colony, and they have right-hand drive there. The bandits must have thought they would be firing at the driver, but our truck was equipped for left-hand drive. That single fact
may have saved our lives. Instead of firing at someone who was trying to drive and dodge bullets at the same time—which would have been pretty much a piece of cake for them—they were encountering automatic-weapons fire.

“I’m lying there, and these thoughts are going through my head. I have a new daughter. I brought her home from the hospital in the Suburban. We named the vehicle after her. Lucy. We thought it was such a tank that we added a last name: Lucy Panzer. But it wasn’t a tank, and I could hear the bullets tearing through it. And in a way, I felt like they were firing at Lucy. At my daughter. Because if I was gone, what would her life be like? And my wife, Jane? You think it will never happen to you, and then it does. There’s a moment of complete disbelief.

“Anyway, they shot out one of the back tires, and they hit the front fender and the roofline in a couple of places. Kenny had it floored and we were doing seventy with a flat tire, over this bad, rutted road.”

Garry lay on the floor, between the seats. They had warned him about this road. Told him this could happen. Now he was going to die because he couldn’t listen.

It occurred to him that it was going to be a particularly nasty death. He was fairly well protected from the bullets and would survive the initial stages of the attack. What would happen, he figured, was that everyone else would be shot dead. The vehicle would go careening off into the desert and bog down in sand. The bandits would find him there, the only living witness. Garry figured they’d cut his throat. What did Shiftas do to people? Why didn’t he know that? His mind was filled with visions of Lucy and Jane.

Jane—Garry had heard it often enough—was beautiful. Tall and slender, with long flowing hair and a model’s fine high-cheekboned face. Smart. Organized. And she had guts: Garry figured that anyone who married him—a guy who made his living as an adventure driver—would have to have guts. She had talents that sometimes seemed at odds with her beauty. She was, for instance, a licensed commercial helicopter pilot. And now she was going to have a corpse for a husband. Just some bones bleaching in the desert.

That didn’t seem entirely right. Garry’s mind began to function practically. He realized that if the truck broke an axle they’d be out in the desert for days, at the mercy of Shiftas.

“We gotta change the tire,” he shouted.

The soldiers said, “No. Faster!”

And Garry made it a command.

“We gotta do it
now
!”

Langley stopped and the Kenyan soldiers covered the Canadians as they worked. “Naturally,” Sowerby said, “we couldn’t find the jack. It hadn’t occurred to us that we’d have to change a tire under attack. The bandits were on foot, probably three miles back, but I was thinking, ‘If I were these guys, I would have another five men down the road to pick up disabled cars or wounded drivers.’ ”

The jack sunk into the sand under the weight of the Suburban. Sowerby and Langley didn’t have a shovel, and they fell to their knees, digging in the sand under the wheel, digging like dogs until their hands bled and their air burned in their throats. Two of the soldiers spelled them. Sowerby and Langley took the guns and covered the tire change in progress. Sowerby’s military training kicked in then, a kind of bitter instinct that rolled over his fear and regret, even the visions of his family. He stood braced, the weapon on rock ’n’ roll, full auto, and he thought, “C’mon you sons of bitches.”

Nothing. No one. Just the scrub and sun. The Shiftas had had enough of Lucy Panzer. The tire was finally changed, but because the bandits had hit the tires stacked on the roof, the Suburban jolted over six hundred miles of the worst roads in the world with no spares. “It was,” Sowerby said, “like waiting for a bad telephone call. One blowout and a year’s work and all that money would be wasted. Luckily, the tires held out.”

“Anyway,” Garry Sowerby told me, “we got to Addis Ababa, and they told us we couldn’t drive the road to Djibouti because two weeks before thirteen trucks had been blown up there. The Ethiopian government wasn’t going to let us take that road: it would have been bad press for them if we were blown up. What they did instead, they provided a special train for us. Put the truck on a flat car. We had twenty-six soldiers with us. It was only one hundred fifty miles, but that train had been blown up three times in the three previous months.”

“Who was blowing them up?” I asked.

“Ahh,” Sowerby searched his memory, “the, uh, Somalia Liberation Army. It was the war of the week out there on that trip. Anyway, we made it: Kenny and I were just sitting on the hood of the truck as we pulled into Djibouti, past these French Foreign Legion barracks, and all those guys were amazed that we had made it. We had been frontpage news in Africa, and now we had the French Foreign Legion saluting us. It was one of the proudest moments of my life.”

Getting the truck across the Red Sea was a problem, but Sowerby—through the Catholic bishop, one of the contacts he’d met on the first
reconnaissance trip—found a known smuggler who agreed to ferry the boat for $5,000. “The guy’s boat was a forty-foot wooden dhow, and we had to put the truck on sideways, with the bumpers hanging off either side just below the sail. We had no insurance, of course, because pirates don’t register their boats, but this guy was the only game in town.”

Sowerby and Langley arrived in Saudi Arabia and drove north, into Iraq. “The last thing the first secretary told us when we left Kuwait city was, ‘Keep your eyes open to the east because the Iranians do strafing runs on that road.’ ”

In Turkey, border guards demanded a $50 bribe to clear the Suburban. “They wouldn’t take the money at the police compound there,” Sowerby said. “The guy had us drive him about two miles to this hovel. I walk in and it’s all dim candlelight and these thieves are all sitting around, cleaning their weapons. The guy says, ‘Things have changed. It now costs you one hundred dollars.’ I told the guy it wasn’t fair, and he told me life wasn’t fair. I said, ‘Do you take traveler’s checks?’

“I always thought this scene would make a great commercial. Thomas Cook Traveler’s Checks was one of our sponsors. The guy asked, ‘What kind of traveler’s check?’ I said, ‘Thomas Cook.’ And all these guys with scars on their faces and eye patches look up and say, ‘Thomas Cook, yes, those are good.’

“I took out five twenties, and I did something that was pretty stupid, but it made me feel good. I signed the first one and the guy looked at the signature, but I knew he couldn’t see, it was so dark in there, so I signed a false name on the rest.”

Sowerby, in fact, was getting a little sick and tired of being ordered around by guys with guns. “About three that morning,” he said, “I’m driving up on the crest of a hill and I see two guys with machine guns standing in the middle of the road. Now, if these guys are bandits and you stop, they’re going to shoot you. If they’re soldiers and you don’t stop, they’re going to shoot you. I decided to stop. Turned out they wanted a ride. Ordinarily, a guy with a machine gun asks you to do him a favor, you say, ‘yes sir.’ But at this point, I said, ‘Naw, no riders.’ Just slammed the door and left them standing there in the middle of nowhere with their machine guns.”

The rest of the trip went smoothly, and the Canadians reached North Cape—they actually followed the first snowplow through—twenty-eight days after starting in South Africa. The record still stands, as does Sowerby’s around-the-world record.

*   *   *

G
ARRY AND
I examined Lucy Panzer for a moment. I put my little finger into one of the bullet holes, and then started to tell him about my latest travel adventure but thought better of it. They don’t actually shoot at you on Northworst.

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