River's Redemption: Blackwater, Book 5 (12 page)

Not in front of him. Please, let me escape first.

Jeanette headed toward the bathroom, intent on getting dressed and leaving before she fell apart completely.

Only River wanted to twist the knife into her heart a little more. She should have known. After all, River Jennings never did anything half-assed.

Just as her hand grasped the doorknob, she heard him say, “You love me. I know you do. Don’t deny it, Jeanette.”

She ached to hurl a few insults at him. To slap him for doing this to her, to them. But she knew if she started down that road, things would only get uglier and uglier, and she wouldn’t stop until she was empty. Moreover, she’d regret it later.

So instead, she turned around and went to him. She kissed him on the cheek and said, “I do love you. More than you’ll ever know. And I’m not giving up on you either. I have faith in us, River. I’m just sorry that you don’t.”

As Jeanette left the room, tears streaming down her face, she heard him call her name. No way could she look back. She’d cave if she did. She went into the bathroom and closed the door, then got dressed. Somewhat composed, she came back out and noticed River wasn’t anywhere in sight. The silence sliced through her. It hurt to know he wasn’t there, waiting to fight for her. To fight for them.

She reached her car, but it took three tries before she managed to open the door. Once inside, she dropped her forehead against the cold steering wheel and let go.

She’d never cried so hard in her life. Well, maybe when her mom and dad had died. She’d loved them so much, and she’d never thought anything could hurt as bad as that. This felt a little like that awful day. As if a vital part of her had just been taken away by the cruel hand of fate. But she’d been serious when she told River she wasn’t giving up. In her heart, she knew he loved her. His brain just hadn’t gotten the message. She could wait for him, she told herself, for a little while longer. And if he still didn’t come around, then she’d kidnap him. To hell with playing nice.

Jeanette had no idea how long she’d sat there in the parking lot of River’s apartment building. Minutes, maybe longer. When she finally raised her head and started the engine, she looked in her rearview mirror and saw River’s large form in the bedroom window. His arms were crossed over his chest, and he looked as if he were ready to commit murder.

Jeanette pried her eyes away from the mirror and put the car in gear. As she pulled away, she thought of what he’d said. He was damaged. Thanks to the awful foster home he’d been placed in when he was a kid, maybe that was true, but damaged things could be fixed. With a little patience and a lot of love. And Jeanette had a heaping helping of both.

“She moved out,” River grumbled as he paced Reilly’s kitchen.

There was more that River wasn’t disclosing, Reilly could feel it. “What happened?” Reilly was met with silence. “River?”

“I really screwed up this time, bro.”

Reilly looked down at the sleeping baby in his arms. Chet was finally on a decent schedule these days. Thank God, because he and Lucy had been losing sleep left and right. They were both ready for the break. He smiled when he thought of how utterly lucky he was to have the babies, to have Lucy. Warmth filled him. He’d do anything to keep them safe.

“Look, we all screw up, River. Best to learn from your mistakes so you don’t repeat them.”

“Well, I’ve made a decision, and I want your opinion.”

Reilly grinned. “I love giving my opinion. Shoot.”

“I want to marry Jeanette.”

Reilly’s eyes lit with amusement. “And does she have a say in this decision?”

He let out a heavy sigh. “Right now she would rather I jump off a bridge.”

“What’d you do now?”

“After her mugger was caught, she started talking about moving out. I asked her to stay with me.”

“What’s so wrong in that? A lot of couples live together before marriage. Look at me and Lucy.”

“Yeah, but I basically offered her money. I told her I’d help her with expenses. And I didn’t say a thing about love or marriage at the time either.”

Reilly’s eyes shot wide. “Jesus, it’s a wonder you can still walk upright. You know how prideful she is, River. She’d never let a man ‘keep’ her. Not even you.”

“Hell, I didn’t mean for it to come out that way. By the time I realized what an ass I was being, she was gone.” Christ, if River could kick his own ass, he would. “I only saw her leaving me and I reacted. Badly.”

Reilly arched a brow at him. “Gee, you think?”

“I want her back,” he gritted out. “She’s my equal in every way. I can’t imagine my life without her.”

Reilly smiled. “She really is something.” Concern that River was being too hasty had him asking, “But are you so sure you’ll be content with one woman? You’ve been sort of a man-whore lately, you know.”

“I haven’t really dated as much as I let you all think. And there’s been no one since the night Jeanette walked in on me with Holly.” He paused, then answered, “Yes, I’m sure. She’s everything to me. Since she’s been gone, the apartment seems so damn quiet and empty. I miss her. God, I’ve even imagined her pregnant with my child. Somehow the picture doesn’t send a shiver of fear through me either.”

“Yep, you’re in love. Once upon a time, the very idea of being a father would’ve caused me to pass out. Now, I can’t even think about life without Lucy and the twins.”

“I have an apology to make to you too. That’s the other reason I’m here.”

Reilly couldn’t begin to think what River was talking about. “I’m listening.”

River leaned against the counter, his troubled gaze on the floor. “I’ve been jealous of you,” he said in a low voice. “Your happiness, Lucy and the babies. I didn’t think it was fair that you had everything while I still only had nightmares.” His head shot up. “I’m sorry.”

Reilly stood and went to him. With Chet in his arms sleeping soundly, he kept his voice quiet. “It’s okay.” He slapped River on the arm. “I understand, man.”

River shook his head. “No, it isn’t,” he groaned, his voice gruff. “It’s not your fault what I went through. Only Briggs is to blame for that. I’ve been feeling sorry for myself, and that stops now.”

A cloud seemed to be lifting, and Reilly knew why. He had his brother back. Finally. “All’s forgiven,” Reilly said, choking back emotion. “Now, tell me what you aim to do about your girl. Got a plan?”

“Hell if I know.” River threw up his hands. “I’m lost as shit here. At first I thought she’d be better off far away from me. Now…I don’t understand it. I only know that she’s the one, and I can hardly breathe without her.”

“Then you need to do a measure of groveling, if you ask me.”

“Yeah, but first I need to find her. I’ve called her cell three times and stopped by her apartment. Nothing.”

Reilly stroked his chin and grinned. “Right. Well, I might be able to help you there.”

He quirked a brow and stood up straighter. “How?”

“She went with Lucy to that new club in town, Obsidian.”

In seconds, River was alert. “What? And you let them go?”

“Whoa, they’re both big girls. They don’t need a babysitter.” Reilly sighed. “Besides, they’re together, and Obsidian isn’t exactly the Dawg Pit. It’s upscale. A classy place.”

River turned to leave. “I need to find her. She needs to know the truth.”

“And what might that be?”

“That I love her,” he shot back over his shoulder. “That without her, I don’t exist.”

Reilly was stunned. River was baring his feelings, and that was foreign to him. Jeanette had really done a number on him.

“Be careful with her,” Reilly warned. “She’s waited a long time for you.”

River nodded. “I will. Now, time to go fix my derailed future.”

After River was gone, Reilly sat back down at the kitchen table. “You can come out now,” he called. “He’s gone.”

Wanda appeared in the doorway leading to the living room, holding Cameron in her very capable arms. “That boy of mine sure does know how to make a mess of things, doesn’t he?”

Reilly nodded, frustrated and worried at the same time. River was so sure he didn’t deserve love. To Reilly’s way of thinking, no one deserved it more. “I hope you know what you’re doing, little Miss Matchmaker.”

“What do you mean?”

Her too-innocent expression didn’t fool him one bit. “Don’t give me that. You’re the one who suggested the ladies go clubbing. You knew it would send River into a tailspin.”

“He needed a push,” his mom stated, a knowing smile curving her lips. “And trust me, the minute he sees her out there dancing it up, other men watching her, he’ll realize that he really could lose her. He’s finally through playing around and getting serious. They both deserve to give their relationship a chance, but that wasn’t going to happen if River kept letting his stubbornness run the show.”

Reilly chuckled. “Yeah, wonder where he got all that hard-headedness?”

Her nose shot up in the air. “Your father, clearly.”

Reilly stood and went to her. “Clearly,” he replied, kissing her on the forehead. “Now, let’s get these babies in bed before Lucy skins me alive for letting them stay up so late.”

Chapter Ten

It was Saturday, and she hadn’t heard a peep from River for exactly nine days and six hours. He was being stubborn. Well, two could play that game.

After sharing every ugly detail with Lucy, they’d come up with a plan of sorts—find the sexiest outfit possible and go to the new nightclub in town. When River found out where she was, he’d have to come searching for her. He’d see how easily he could lose her and finally admit his feelings.

But after searching her closet for what seemed like hours, Jeanette called Lucy for help. Her closet was a bust. There wasn’t a single devastating thing to be had in there. They decided to check out a few of the thrift stores in town. Operation “Get River” was on, and she needed something hot to suit the occasion. She’d hit the jackpot when she’d spotted the short, black, satin dress with its V-neck bodice and an open back. Thankfully, it was well within her meager budget too. She’d worn her hair down with lots of waves, thanks to the hot curlers Lucy had let her borrow. Lucy looked equally as gorgeous, having already lost most of the baby weight. Her purple, pleated cocktail dress had a halter-style neckline and a fitted empire waist.

Now, as she sat next to Lucy at the bar, Jeanette was beginning to have second thoughts about her plan. What if River didn’t show? What if he really was through with her? Oh God, the thought of never seeing him again nearly sent her running back to him

“Stand firm, girl. You can do this,” Lucy said as if reading her thoughts.

“I’m scared. I love him so much, and he’s so damn stubborn.”

She patted her hand. “I know. It’s a family trait, I’m afraid.”

“But Reilly loves you so much.”

“Yes, but we weren’t without our own hurdles. The Jennings men tend to keep their hearts under lock and key. Their biological parents were druggies and basically didn’t care what happened to them. And going into foster care can’t be easy on a kid. I imagine it’s even harder for River to trust, considering he’s had it the roughest.”

“I’ve always been in love with him. He’s so loving and sweet, and he’s the most honorable man I know.” She let out a frustrated breath. “But he won’t let me in, and it’s making me nuts.

Lucy smiled. “Maybe a margarita will help.”

“Uh, a virgin margarita.”

“Huh?”

Here goes nothing.
“I’m pregnant.”

“Get out! Seriously?”

“Yep,” she replied, feeling excited for the first time since finding out she was going to be a mom. “I missed my period, and that never happens. I took one of those home pregnancy tests, but I went to the doctor and confirmed the results. I’m definitely pregnant.”

“Aren’t you on the pill, though?”

She blushed. “Uh, yeah, but I sort of missed a few days. With all the chaos, I got off schedule. I’m an idiot.”

Lucy rubbed her back. “No, you aren’t. It happens to the best of us, sweetie.” She paused, then asked, “So, does River know?”

“No. I just found out myself. I’m scared, Lucy. I never imagined being a mother, and with things unresolved between River and me…”

She snorted. “You’re preaching to the choir, there, girl. I was out of my mind with worry when I found out I was pregnant. Reilly and I had a one-night stand, for crying out loud. But it all worked out in the end. It will for you too. You’ll see.”

“I hope you’re right.”

The bartender came around, and they ordered their drinks. When he came back with them, Jeanette noticed there was a phone number written on her napkin. When she tried to pay for the drinks, the bartender held up a hand.

“The fellow in the corner over there,” he said, pointing to a dark-haired man in a suit sitting at a table with a group of guys. His slow smile would’ve been sexy if she wasn’t already madly in love with a different sexy smile.

Jeanette turned back around and slid the drink toward the bartender. “Thanks, but I can’t accept.”

“Oh, screw it,” Lucy said, waving a hand in the air. “It’s a free drink.”