Riverbreeze: Part 3 (42 page)

“Because you and Jamie were such sweet lads.” She smiled, touching his face again.

He blushed, embarrassed. “We were little imps, is what we were.”

She laughed, actually laughed. “Just like Robin, I’m sure.”

He smiled at her, cupping her face. “’Tis good to see you smile like that.”

Now it was her turn to blush. Feeling awkward, she bowed her head and picked at a loose thread on the quilt.

He let her be and continued in a soft voice. “He was very jealous. I would say he turned mad with jealousy. He hated Jamie and me; he simply hated us.”

She looked back up. His face was somber, but not self-pitying. He had just stated a fact. “I’m glad he’s dead.” She whispered.

“I am too.” He said flatly. Then as if he didn’t want to talk about that anymore, he suddenly stood up, saying, “Shall we eat? I’m ravenous.”

“Oh, I thought you had already eaten.”

“No.” He said, going to the stool where he had placed the tray earlier. He picked it up and came back to the bed where he stopped and looked expectantly at her. “I wanted to eat with you.”

“All right.” She said with a little smile. It would be nice to have some company.

She positioned all the pillows behind her back, then accepted the tray on her lap. Robert sat down, facing her. He pulled the cloth off, revealing a large bowl of venison stew, enough for the two of them, two spoons, one tankard of cider and a plate with two chunks of wheat bread. With gentle fingers, he took the cloth and draped it over her chest, tucking a corner into the neckline of her nightgown. He was so attentive, she hoped she didn’t ruin the moment with another one of her crying fits.

“It looks and smells delicious.” She said.

He handed her a spoon and took one himself. “We’re still eating the deer Jamie and I shot five days ago.”

“Mmm.” She murmured, tasting the first spoonful. “Thank you.” She said formally.

He dipped out a large spoonful. “You’re quite welcome.” He replied.

They ate in silence for a while. Elizabeth hadn’t realized how hungry she was. Perhaps if Robert hadn’t brought her supper, she would have forced herself to go down to the kitchen to eat.

Robert ate with gusto as he always did. He worked hard every day and he had to eat to keep up his strength. As if reading her thoughts he said, “Jamie and I spent the morning cleaning up the ruins of the tobacco barn and sifting through the ashes collecting the nails. We’ll need them to build the new barn.”

So that was why his shirt was black with soot and he had smudges on his neck where he must have scratched himself. At least he had had the decency to scrub his hands and face before coming to eat with her, though. She also noticed that the deer hide was gone from his shoulder and she wondered where he had put it, but she didn’t ask about it. Instead she asked, “Are you going to start building right away?”

He let out a chuckle. “No…” He tore off a hunk of bread and chewed for a few seconds. He swallowed and wiped his mouth. “No, we’ll have to hire the Bolton brothers and a planer from Jamestown to cut the boards. I doubt anyone would have that many boards lying around for us to buy. Wood is in such great demand. I suppose we could use logs instead of boards but I prefer boards for the tobacco barn.”

“Oh.” She said. This was all very interesting but she was more curious about that hide. “Why did you have a deer hide hanging over your shoulder when you first came in?”

He smiled then, an excited smile. He put down his spoon, took a quick drink of cider, then got up to get the deer hide from the trunk where he had laid it down earlier. “I wanted to show you this.” He was like Robin was when Robin found a new, pretty shell, excited, happy, proud. He brought it over and held it up for her to see. “I’m going to make you a new pair of moccasins using this. I’ve spent the last five days tanning it. Feel how soft it is.” He held the hide out to her.

Suddenly her mood changed. She didn’t want to be reminded of what had happened to her first pair of moccasins, how Wesley had maliciously thrown them in the fire, laughing at her while she cried great tears of loss. She didn’t want to feel the hide or even look at it. “I won’t like them.” She said mumpishly, looking down at the tray. She pushed a piece of onion around in the bottom of the bowl with her spoon.

Robert was clearly disappointed. “Why not?”

“Because they won’t be the same as the pair you made me for Christmas.”

“I’m going to use the same pattern as before; I still have plenty of beads. They’ll look the same; and then you and Evelyn can be twins again.”

As quick as a blink, she was weeping, covering her face with her hands. “Why did Wesley have to throw my moccasins in the fire? Didn’t he know, if I had the chance, that I would have run away whether bare foot or not?”

“Obviously he didn’t.” He said quietly. He threw the hide over his shoulder, saying, “Are you finished?”

She nodded, not looking at him.

He picked up the tray and said, “I have to go back to work now, but I’ll be back later. I will make the moccasins, Elizabeth. You need them and you will wear them.”

Her head snapped up and she glared at him. “You’re just as mean as him! You have no sympathy!”

“And you have no sense right now! I’ll be back later when you’re in a better mood.” And he turned and left.

“Oh!” She gasped. Resentful, she picked up the book—the only object at hand—and threw it at him, only he had already disappeared through the door.

* * *

True to his word, Robert returned later that evening. She wasn’t sure if he would because of how their last conversation had ended, but she was glad he did.

It was perhaps a half hour past sunset. He was carrying the tray again, this time loaded down with mugs of hot chamomile tea, more bread and a small crock of apple butter.

“I see you’re not sitting in the dark and that you picked up the book.” He said directly, as he walked to the bed. He was still wearing the same old dirty shirt, but once again he had washed up and tied his hair back.

“Yes, I’m sorry.” She said in a small voice. And she was. She realized she had hurt his feelings when she told him she wouldn’t like the new pair of moccasins. That had been thoughtless of her, and she vowed to be better behaved.

“I’m sorry too.” He said, placing the tray on her lap. She held it steady while he kissed her lightly on the lips. Then flashing her a smile, he added, “I’ll be right back.”

She wondered where he was going, but he didn’t go far, only to the trunk, where he pulled off his shirt and dropped it on the floor. She watched unashamedly, feasting her eyes on his broad back, his well-muscled chest and arms. There wasn’t an ounce of fat on him; he was lean and beautiful, but while she was attracted to him, she was not aroused in the marital way. It was much too soon and that made her weepy again.

Oh, how she wished these sad feelings would go away. She had vowed to please her husband for better or worse and they had just lived through some of the worst times, but those times were over. Wesley was dead and they had all survived. She must try harder to quash these lugubrious emotions.

So, as he pulled on a clean shirt, she dried her tears before they could fall. And she told herself that she would enjoy Robert’s company and focus solely on him.

He returned to her side, declaring, “Oh, I feel so much better.”

“You look better too!” She said, forcing herself to smile.

He chuckled, then bowed formally. “Thank you, my lady.” He said gravely and he kissed her hand, a good start to the evening.

They did have a pleasant evening. Elizabeth kept her emotions in check while she and Robert sipped their tea and shared the bread. They talked of mundane, everyday matters, although Robert did most of the talking. He told her how Nathan and Dolnick were working out in the fields now, breaking up the soil and preparing it for when they would transfer the tobacco seedlings towards the end of March, if the weather cooperated.

He also talked about Peasblossom; how close she was to her time and how closely Jamie was watching her. He mentioned that for the past two weeks Jamie had noticed the waxy substance on the end of her teats, a sure sign that she was due to foal quite soon. Her udders were also becoming heavy with milk and the muscles over her hindquarters were becoming soft and jelly-like.

“Talk about something else, please.” Elizabeth said, not wanting to hear about a horse that was about to give birth. She wouldn’t admit it, but she was jealous of Peasblossom.

“All right.” Robert said quietly, not taking offense. By this time they were finished eating and he removed the tray and picked up the hide he had left in the bedchamber earlier. “I’ll tell you about my hunting trip with Jamie.”

While he worked on her new pair of moccasins, he told her how he and Jamie had gotten extremely lucky that early morning while they had followed the creek through the back of their property into the woods. A large white-tailed buck with an impressive rack of antlers was feeding at the creek’s edge and with only two shots, one from each of them, they took the deer down. Getting him back to their property had been the hardest part. They estimated the buck’s weight at close to one hundred fifty pounds, enough meat to last several days and a good-sized hide for her moccasins. Elizabeth didn’t want to know how the deer was butchered, but Robert, in his element and believing she would be interested, went on to describe how he had tanned the hide.

“The first part is the easiest.” He said with a grin. “I soaked the hide in the creek, weighing it down with rocks, for two or three days to loosen the hair. Then, the real work begins. The water is wrung out and then you have to flesh the hide. This involves scraping off every bit of fat, flesh and hair. It takes a lot of scraping, but not only are you removing all the hair and so forth, you are also evening out the thickness of the hide.”

By this time Elizabeth’s stomach was a bit queasy, but she continued to sip her tea, all the while pretending to be fascinated with this process. She didn’t want to hurt his feelings again by belittling all the work he had done.

However, when he started describing the next step in the tanning process, mixing the brains of the animal with water to make a paste and rubbing the paste into the stretched hide until it was thoroughly saturated, she couldn’t ignore her nausea any longer. She had to stop him.

He understood and halted his descriptions, although he did make it a point to tell her that the brain paste was completely washed away in the next step. This made her feel a little better. At least she knew her moccasins would be free of brain material when she wore them. And then she realized that her first pair of moccasins had been made in the same manner and she had loved them. Thinking about them almost made her cry again, but she successfully quashed those feelings and firmly told herself she would love these new moccasins just as much as she had loved the first pair because Robert had made them with his own hands.

The evening ended on a good note and for the next two weeks, after a hard day’s labor either in the field, in the kitchen garden or clearing the site for the new tobacco barn, Robert spent each evening with Elizabeth, working on her moccasins.

At night, though, he still didn’t share her bed. Even though Evelyn had moved back in with Jamie, Elizabeth wasn’t ready yet to be intimate. So, Robert, patient as only a loving husband can be, slept on the trundle bed while Robin slept in the big bed with Elizabeth.

Finally, one evening at the beginning of March when spring was in the air, he finished the moccasins and he had her try them on. They fit beautifully and she walked around the room, showing them off, although not as enthusiastically as she had with the first pair. Nevertheless, she forced herself to smile when she thanked Robert with a warm hug and a kiss. He deserved that much, she thought.

However, much to her surprise, since he had been so formal with her these past evenings and had kept his distance, he held on to her longer than she had anticipated. She stiffened, knowing what he wanted, but afraid she couldn’t give it to him. As he caressed her back and kissed down her neck, all she could think about was Wesley’s leering face and his filthy hands on her breasts. She started to whimper, “I’m sorry, Robert. I can’t.”

Sighing, he gently released her. “No. I’m sorry, Elizabeth. Truly, I am.” And much saddened, he left her alone.

She watched him leave and once again she broke down crying. She went back to bed and buried herself under the covers, feeling empty and forlorn. What was wrong with her? Why couldn’t she recover from her wounded heart?

That night Robert didn’t return. Instead Evelyn brought Robin to her when it was his bedtime.

“Where is he?” Elizabeth asked.

“He told me to tell you that he’s going to sleep in the small house.”

“With the servants?” Elizabeth cried in horror. She dropped her face into her hands. She felt simply awful for driving her husband out of his own house.

Evelyn gripped her shoulders hard. This made Elizabeth look up at her. Evelyn said, “Bess, you cannot go on like this. ‘Tis not healthy for you to shut yourself up in this room day after day. Tell me how I can help you.”

“I know not how.” She said desperately. “If I knew, I would tell you!”

“Do you want Abigail to talk to you again? Do you want more poppy syrup?”