River Deep (48 page)

Maggie froze under his gaze.

‘I’m sad about it, yeah, but I’m not sorry, Maggie. It’s been over for a long time, since before she came back. Maybe since before I met you, but I didn’t know it because it was only when I met you that I knew I didn’t love Stella any more.’

Maggie was afraid to move, afraid that if she did anything to change even the slightest thing at that moment everything he’d just said would disappear without trace.

‘Well, if I helped you …’ she began cautiously.

‘You did, you did help me, Maggie.’ Pete didn’t know what to say next. He ran his hands through his hair. ‘Oh fuck! This is ridiculous. I had this all planned out. I practised it and everything on the way up here, but now you’re actually there in front of me and we’re sitting on the stairs, it all seems to be going pear-shaped.’

Pete stood up suddenly and, taking a breath, pointed at Maggie.

‘OK. Maggie, I really fancy you. Oh God, that makes me sound about eleven. What I’m trying to say is that I … I think you’re great, and sexy, and beautiful … and …’

Pete realised he was pointing at her and stopped, looking at his offending finger as if it had nothing to do with him.

‘And, well,’ he continued, feeling suddenly liberated by the truth, ‘I wanted to be romantic and sweep you off your feet but … You might think I’m barmy, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that kiss we had, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.’ He knelt down on the stair beneath her, lowering his voice. ‘Or your eyes, or your smile, or the way you laugh. I’m crazy, I know, but I just have to know, even if you’re not interested. I just have to know if we could … maybe go on a date or something. A real one, this time, and …’ Every muscle in his body tightened as he looked at her. ‘Oh God, Maggie, please say yes.’

‘Yes,’ Maggie said quickly.

Pete stopped talking and almost smiled.

‘Yes?’ he said.

‘Yes. I said yes, I’d like to go on a date with you, and yes, I know how you feel because I felt like that too and I came round to tell you, but Stella was back and I’m sorry you split up, but I’m not at all, you were terrible for each other, and yes, I’d like the chance to get to know you better.’

They stared at each other, studying each other’s faces minutely in the half-light.

‘Great,’ Pete said, and then, because he was tired of being polite and cautious and because he couldn’t wait a second longer, he took her face gently in his hands and drew her down to him. ‘And now I’m going to stop talking and I’m going to kiss you, Maggie,’ he whispered, just before he pressed his lips to hers.

Maggie found herself lying back on the stairs, her back arched over the ridges of the steps, Pete’s weight above her, his lips covering her face, his hands in her hair, and she found her winding her arms around his neck, pulling him closer, more tightly against her. The first kiss they had shared had been like a dance, a fragile bridge built across what had seemed like an unbridgeable gulf. This kiss was just as wonderful but completely different – this kiss was about each of them being as close as they possibly could be to each other at last. About touching and stroking and holding each other because they could at last.

Pete groaned deeply and pulled away from Maggie a little, smiling down at her.

‘Oh God,’ he sighed. ‘We have to stop!’

Maggie smiled. ‘But why? We’ve only just started!’

‘Because your lipstick’s smudged?’ he offered.

Maggie laughed. ‘That’s funny – so’s yours.’ She tried to pull him back to kiss her more, but he resisted.

‘Maggie,
God
,’ Pete moaned. ‘I want you. I want you so much.’ Pete’s eyes covered every inch of her face. ‘But if we keep on like this then, well, I don’t know
what
’ll happen, and on the
stairs
of all places! What I’m trying to say is … I don’t want to rush you into anything.’ He looked at her as if the thing he hoped for most in the world was to rush her into pretty much everything.

Maggie smiled, delighted at the prospect. She sat up, resting on her elbows.

‘Do you have to go home?’ she said.

Pete smoothed down his ruffled shirt a little. He felt somewhat confused, and realised he was still terrified of all the things that could still go wrong.

‘No. Do you mean now? God no, I mean – you don’t want me to, do you?’

Maggie laughed and shook her head.

‘No, I don’t want you to
stay
. Stay for the rest of the party until everyone’s gone.’ She looked at her watch. ‘They’ll be out in the next half an hour or so.’ She fixed her gaze back on his face. ‘I want you to stay while I sort out the waiters for cash and make sure we’re straight in the bar. And then I want you to stay the night. With me. I’ve got a crap bedroom, a single bed and I live with my family, but I want you to stay with me Pete, please. And I need you tonight, because if I wait any longer I’ll probably … oh I don’t know, implode or something.’

Pete laughed and ran his thumb gently underneath her lip, removing the smear of lipstick.

‘Maggie, if you want me to stay then I’m not going anywhere,’ he said.

It was just over half an hour later that Maggie shut the door on her bedroom and turned on the bedside lamp.

‘Try not to look at the wallpaper,’ she said, but Pete was only looking at her; now that he’d allowed himself to look at her, he found he couldn’t stop.

He crossed the small room in two strides, encircled her waist with one arm and drew her into him, kissing her face and her hair and her lips, kissing her deeply, crushing her against him. Maggie pulled at his shirt, pulled at the buttons until they opened and felt his hands find the zip at the back of her dress, heard it slide down and felt the material of her dress slip off her shoulders until at last her skin met his. She heard Pete’s sigh deep in his throat. He held her there for a moment against his chest, and just for a second they were both still.

Then he unhooked her bra, and Maggie didn’t know where it went because the next thing she felt were his lips against her breasts, and then she realised he’d picked her up off the floor and was carrying her over to her single bed. Laying her down gently, he drew back to look at her, stroking the length of her body with his fingertips.

‘Maggie, you are so beautiful,’ he told her, and she knew that she was, she knew that he made her beautiful. She dragged him on top of her, wrapping her leg around his hips, feeling him move against her. At last they helped each other out of the last of their clothing and lay against each other, perfectly close.

‘Pete,’ Maggie whispered. ‘Please …’

Pete moved his hand between her legs, but she stopped him, closing her hands over his wrist and pushing it gently away.

‘No,’ she whispered. ‘I want
you
. I just want
you
, now.’

Once he was inside her, everything else, everything that had happened, fell away into insignificance and all that mattered was each second passing, each moment of pure pleasure that came swiftly and then again in waves that might have been endless, if only time had meant nothing.

Finally Pete lay beside her, pressed close against the bedroom wall. He moved his arm under her neck and stroked her hair.

‘Thank you,’ he said, kissing the corner of her eyebrow.

Maggie giggled. ‘I think I should be thanking you at least three or four times as much!’ she said.

Pete looked sweetly pleased with himself. And then he sighed, deeply content.

‘I can’t believe it,’ he said. ‘I can’t believe that we are here at last. That you and I are here at last.’

Maggie grinned. ‘I know, it’s great, isn’t it? And the best thing is that we can just be together. There’s no stress, no pretence, no complications. None of that crap. We can just be together and get to know each other and take as long as we like. We’ve got all the time in the world.’

Pete’s heart sank, and reality came rushing back in. How was he going to explain to her? What could he possibly say?

‘Oh God,’ he said, sitting up.

Terrified, Maggie sat up too.

‘Pete, what is it? Look, I’m sorry. If you don’t feel like that, then I didn’t mean to embarrass you …’

Pete shook his head and took her hand, kissing it.

‘No, no, of
course
I do. Of course I feel like that. It’s just … Oh, Maggie, I’m supposed to go to LA next Saturday. For six months.’

Maggie stared at him, speechless.

‘Oh,’ she said, falling back on to the bed and staring at the ceiling, as she felt the weight of his words sink leadenly into her chest.

Pete lay back down on his side, leaning up on his elbow to look at her. He traced his finger along the line of her jaw and down her neck across her shoulder.

‘I never thought this was going to happen,’ he said. ‘I wanted it to, but I never dreamt it would, or that it would be so … wonderful. Just to be with you.’

Maggie tried to smile at him but found that she couldn’t. She tried to sound cheerful instead.

‘But it’s great!’ she said as though someone had just told her the world was about to end. ‘It sounds great. It sounds like just the sort of thing you’ve always wanted!’

Pete nodded without enthusiasm. ‘It is. But so are you. So is this. I didn’t know it until just now, but being with you like this is something I’ve always wanted too. Oh God, you’re going to think I’m an idiot blurting all this out when we’ve only just … for the first time.’

At last Maggie smiled, and reached up and grazed her palm along his cheek.

‘I don’t think you’re an idiot. I think I know what you mean.’ She sat up a little and kissed his ear. ‘Let’s not think about it,’ she said, running her finger up into the nape of his neck. ‘Let’s not think about it now, because it’s just us. Two people who’ve only just met. We don’t have to think about that now. We just have to think about each other. Next Saturday is ages away. We’ve got a week to be together, and that’s a week longer than we thought we’d have.’

Maggie sat up, pushing Pete back down on to the bed by his shoulders as she straddled him. ‘Let’s not think about that. Let’s not think about anything.’

‘I don’t know what you’re doing sitting here,’ Sarah told Maggie. ‘He’s going in the morning, isn’t he? Shouldn’t you be round his?’

Maggie shook her head glumly, swinging herself from left to right in one of the salon chairs.

‘He had to pick up a few last bits from work and go to some meeting. He’ll be back in about an hour and then we’re going out …’ She trailed off and picked up a stray purple plastic roller, sending it scooting across the little shelf that was attached to the mirror opposite her. Maggie raised her head and looked around at the empty salon. ‘This place is a bit dead, isn’t it?’

‘It is now, but we’ve got a rush on from three,’ Sarah said, swiftly detecting Maggie’s attempt at a change of subject. She sat down next to her and swung her chair round to face her.

‘What are you doing here, Maggie? Why aren’t you with him? You could have gone up to town with him. I’d rather you did that than sit here looking all pathetic!’

Maggie picked up the roller again and scooted it across the shelf, from where it clattered on to the floor.

‘I don’t know,’ she told Sarah miserably. ‘I thought I’d done pretty well with all this, you know? I mean, I know I went off the rails a
bit
– but then I thought, you know what?, I’m fine, I’m well adjusted and I’m dealing. So what if I’ve got a thing about Pete, it’ll wear off given time. And then he comes round and we go to bed, and then the last week, Sarah! The last week has been … totally perfect. Totally, utterly perfect. And now he’s going to LA and I want him to go, I’m pleased for him, but … I can’t believe this has to end after a week. It’s just not fair!’ She picked the roller up off the floor and rolled it once again, but Sarah’s hand slammed down on it with a thwack before it could travel very far.

‘He’s going to LA, not Jupiter. It’s only eight or so hours away on a plane! That’s nothing, these days. When Sam and I go at Christmas, you could go too, fly out there and see him.’

Maggie shook her head. ‘I can’t!’ she wailed.

‘Why ever not, for Christ’s sake!’ Sarah asked her sharply, her already thinly spread sympathy fast running out.

Maggie dropped her gaze and picked at the sleeve of her sweater.

‘Because he hasn’t asked me,’ she mumbled.

Sarah rolled her eyes and stood up, pushing her chair back so hard that it skidded across the floor of the salon and slammed into the reception desk with a clatter.

‘You two! Jesus! He probably hasn’t asked you because he’s hoping you’ll suggest it, the idiot!’

Sarah paced up and down in front of Maggie, her hands on her hips.

‘Maggie, I don’t know what it is about you and Pete, but I feel like … I know, I feel like I’m watching one of those films, you know – the kind of one where you’ve been happily involved in the story, you think you’ve got to the end, you think you’ve got your happy ending and then BAM! The director goes and adds on an entirely unnecessary extra half an hour for some reason.’

Sarah paused as she stood over Maggie.

‘You love Pete. Pete loves you, even if neither one of you has actually said it yet! So he’s going away for six months. It’s not the end of the world. I’d have thought that if anyone had learnt that hanging about waiting for something to happen doesn’t work, it should be you. You need to grab hold of this and
make
it happen, Maggie. You can’t leave these things up to men. You have to decide to be happy. Like Marcus and I did.’

Maggie looked up at her Amazonian friend. ‘All right, warrior princess, it was me who got you into all this expressing-your-true-feelings milarky in the first place,’ she said with some petulance. ‘But it’s not that simple.’

‘Yes it is,’ Sarah told her. ‘Yes, it is that simple. Now leave here, go and find Pete, and do it now, or else I swear I’m going to kill you, and I think I’d get off on the grounds that you’re
such a flipping idiot
!’

Maggie tightened her stomach muscles and looked at Sarah.

‘Is it that simple?’ she said.