River: A Novel (20 page)

 “So, these Carav
people are planning on storming the castle tomorrow night. What is your part in
all this besides running like hell when all hell breaks loose?” That was my
plan, after all. I assumed he would be with me.

 He sat at the
table, pencil in hand, and I followed while feeling out of place. I didn’t belong
in this fight, did I? Not being a true local—I was an outsider. Wars were not
exactly something to look forward to in my mind. The situation was too surreal
and much too frightening. I think that was why I had been putting off voicing my
thoughts on using the Lulling antidote as a weapon against the Speakers; for fear
that a rebellion may actually happen. The population really didn’t seem up for
any kind of mass migration. They appeared… submissive. It could all be an act
on their part, though, to fool the Speakers into thinking that they were meek. My
mercurial thoughts were disrupted by the finished page in front of me.

A few Caravs and I are
going to break into the Domain after the performance.
The
Speakers will already be lulled, then deposited in the middle of town before we
burn most of the Domain to the ground—except for the Lulling station.
I
am going to ramp up the Lulling to its highest level on site to counteract a
vaccine (similar to anti-Lull—not as
strong, but longer lasting) that the
Speakers take weekly.
They are all due for
a shot the day after tomorrow, another reason we have to move on this. Once
we’re gone, the Speakers will be trapped as long as the Lulling station holds. As
for my other job, I have to distribute anti-Lull to
the citizens at the performance and get them to safety
.

 “That’s
all?” I retorted sarcastically, handing the page back to him. The Caravs were
using my friend for their rebellion—a worthy cause, but still. He would be in loads
of danger. “They just dump this on you and expect you to go with it, even
though you weren’t invited to the planning party? That’s pretty presumptuous of
them.”

Elodie, I came up
with this plan. The Caravs agreed to the brunt of the work because I’d given
them the bulk of the Lulling antidote
.
I
am using them. They are
not using me
.

 This
surprised me. Danny was the ringleader? I could fathom him as the brains behind
the machine, but not the actual instigator. “You came up with this… plan?” It sounded
like a plan in theory. But these people were not an army, and it seemed obvious
to me that an army was what was needed. A general and tanks were definitely
called for here. “This is very dangerous.” My statement sounded like a
question, and Dan was nodding slowly. I was sure he had thought of everything,
being a genius and all, but I immediately thought of holes in the details. “What
if some of the people won’t leave?” 

 He was
sitting with his hands on the table. They twitched before he answered my
question.
They
will be left behind
.

 I digested
that for a moment. “Where will everyone go? Outside of River, I mean?”

 We
have a few places.

 “Really? Where?”

  He didn’t
move to reply.

 “You’d tell
me but you would have to kill me, right?” Dan laughed for the first time all
day, and then he began to write for the next fifteen minutes.

 The story
was interesting to say the least. Armed with anti-Lull, a few Caravs had snuck out
repeatedly during the past couple of weeks. Taking supplies and securing safe
spots for people to evacuate. If the people didn’t want to leave, they would be
without antidote. If the Speakers’ entrapment and consequent lulling went
according to plan, they could go ahead and live out their days in the town created
for their Mutes.

 I thought
this was all very altruistic of the orchestrators of this coup. For those
guilty of torturing and murdering innocent people, the Speakers were getting a
pretty good deal. Dan did explain to me that not all of the Speakers hurt Mutes.
It was mainly the leaders who broke the rules. I thought of Petra, and an awful
picture of laughing monsters holding her down and crushing her leg sat in my
mind for a long moment before anger won over hesitation. They had to be
stopped.

 “Why are
you telling me all your strategies? Aren’t they supposed to be top secret?”

 Dan just
looked at me with his trademark miserable grin, quirking an eyebrow. I ducked
my head. Of course he trusted me. We were the closest of friends.

 “So are you
going through with it, the distribution of the antidote? How are you going to
get people to ingest it?”

 Drinks at the performance.

 “What if
some people won’t drink anything?”

 The
thermostat will be turned down, and I’m going to make the greatest coffee of my
life, hot chocolate, too, for the kids.
And some people don’t
like
coffee.
 

 “I’ve never
heard of such a thing,” I said, only comprehending the last part of his signing
before pouring a refill.

 It was
strange to me that we were sitting in his ordinary kitchen, discussing the
beginnings of a revolution and drinking coffee, just hours away from war. Most
people in town had no clue. They would just have the clothes on their backs
when fleeing.

 “We have to
get everyone out who wants to go, Dan. Promise me.” 

 He nodded once
solemnly, handing me the page he had been writing on.

I felt slightly
better after reading Dan’s plan. It was well detailed. The Caravs had given him
information about the Speakers’ vaccine earlier. One of the members had worked
for them recently and overheard a Speaker bragging about it, but couldn’t steal
any because it was locked away in the Domain. Dan had always known they’d had
some way of shielding themselves from the Lulling, possibly due to the help of
his co-workers in the music suite, though had no proof. After inventing the
Lulling, Dan had become depressed and fearful of his talent, which is why he’d
given up on making an antidote until a few weeks ago… something he was feeling
guilty about.

 Dan didn’t
know the exact locations of the refugee camps. He hadn’t been there himself,
but he knew where they generally were. There would be flags set up by two or
three Caravs who would run ahead of everyone else. Those fleeing would be taken
care of, and the ones who stayed behind… he couldn’t be sure. He guessed the
Speakers would keep them alive because they chose to remain. I had a feeling the
Speakers would be furious; not only because their Domain would have been
destroyed, but the majority of their escaped slaves would’ve been corrupted to
the side of bravery and self-worth. The people would finally be in control of
their own lives and those of their children, as well as generations to come. 

 It needed
to happen. I knew that. Fear was feeding doubt, of course.
What
ifs
had taken over, and I was anticipating all that could go wrong. What if no one
escaped? If Danny and the Caravs were captured before they could lead everyone
out… there would be no hope. Even if people were to have antidote in their veins,
it was only temporary. Dan wrote that the Lulling system wouldn’t be destroyed
when the Domain burned, because it was where the signals originated. One of
Dan’s jobs was to keep the Speakers contained indefinitely within River’s lines,
away from everything outside the boundary. But what if he didn’t get that far? What
if the Speakers retaliated and made everything worse for the people? The whole
thing was making me jittery.

 “What
should I do? How can I help?” Each person was needed, and I was determined to
make my sorry existence useful.

 Just
perform the greatest dance of your life. Almost all the Speakers should be
there. They will get drinks with sedatives in them as I distribute anti- Lull
to Mutes. The longer you perform, the easier it will be to give the right doses
to the right people. When the Lulling is intensified after the performance, the
Speakers will be more receptive to it
.

 
“I still have to perform?” There was no way. I didn’t get
most of Dan’s signing, but the part about the performance was pretty clear… and
ludicrous.

 Danny just
looked at me again.
I
told you. I took care of that problem.

 “I don’t
understand.” Danny began to write as my head continued to swim. How was I
supposed to dance on a stage while knowing what was about to happen? I had to
help Dan prepare… there were basic needs the people had to have at the refugee
camps: food, clothing, tourniquets. I was much better suited behind the
scenes—not up on a stage. Besides, it would feel like River Elodie’s last
hurrah, and she wasn’t here. I was.

Elodie, we need you
on that stage. Everyone will be there and the performance has to go without a
hitch. You are a huge part of this plan working—if there isn’t a performance by
Elodie VonCambridge tomorrow night, there will be no rebellion
.
This
is our window, and
we have
to take it
.

 He was
right. If there was a reason I’d stumbled into this place, I had a feeling this
was it. Now, I was not only afraid of impending war but nursing a massive case of
stage fright. I slumped in my chair.

...................

Trying not
to let any panic show, I focused on what Danny wrote and signed about the plans
for tomorrow. My mind wandered as the image of myself standing motionless on a
stage grew in my head. The spotlight on me as everyone, Speakers included,
waited for me to do something. And I do… nothing? Run away? That seemed like a
plausible idea. It was what I’d wanted to do since I’d stumbled into this
insane asylum of a town. 

 Dan was
acting more normal than when I’d first arrived. He even appeared upbeat, almost
jovial. He was excited, I was sure, about everyone finally becoming free. As he
got the pots and pans down, my general pessimism leaked out.

 “What will
happen if this doesn’t work, Dan?”

 He set down
the spatula that was in his hand. Slowly turning to me, sadness was mixed with
acceptance as he signed.
I am willing to take the chance
.
Everyone
is trapped here because of me.

 With a
feeling that would be his answer, I wanted to ask:
What will happen to
you
if it doesn’t work?
But I was frightened of what he wouldn’t tell me. I
made a vow right then—if something happened to Danny, if this rebellion didn’t work,
I was out. If we were still alive, I would make him run until we found another
civilization, or until our legs gave way.

 After an
early dinner, Dan played me some more of his music, which instantly calmed me. He
truly was a magician, and I wouldn’t have been surprised if the formula for the
composition was laced with feel-good vibes. Maybe
Lulling Light
—all the
relaxation, none of the sleepiness. We laughed, drank coffee, and joked as I
tried to keep my voice down when he teased me about the whole donkey mishap. When
it was time to go, I was in a downright goofy mood and ready for mutiny, damn it.
Bring on the Speakers!

 Dan wanted
me to stay at his place, however, I was reluctant. He had a last-night-on-Earth
look behind his sad smile, and I wasn’t about to be tempted. Not only did I
refuse to think about this being our last night alive, but considering my mood,
I couldn’t trust myself; even though my gut continued to tell me it would be a
mistake. And if we ever ended up together, it would not be under these
circumstances. Besides, I actually wanted to try to sleep. Going on three or
four hours a night worked temporarily, but it was definitely catching up with
me. Dan’s signs had become a jumble, and the anti-Lull coffee wasn’t having any
lasting effects. I was hoping I hadn’t overdosed and developed antidote
immunity when Dan walked me to the door. He took his arm off my shoulder to
sign goodnight.

 
I
will be up tonight preparing, just code
if you need
me
. 

 “Code if I
need you, got it,” I repeated, stifling a yawn. It was early in the evening,
but I was dead tired. He grinned at me.

 
Try
not to worry Lodie, it will be all right.

 He’d come
up with a sign for “Lodie” recently. That was what he’d called me in New York,
too. I smiled back at him, except it felt a little sad. He was rubbing off on
me in more ways than one.

 See
you in the morning.
I cast my eyes down before walking
out the door. Danny’s farewell had turned to longing, and it was time for me to
leave.

 Guilt
emerged the minute I closed the door, smothering me. Taking a deep breath, I
tried to shake it off. Again, I asked the universe:
What the hell?
Why
couldn’t I just feel something for Danny other than friendship? He was holding
out for me, I was pretty sure, and I just
couldn’t
go there. Every time
I thought
maybe
… there was a definite road block of some kind when it
came to my feelings for him. I would do anything for Dan, but I just couldn’t
be the person he wanted me to be in the romance department. Having never been
in love, I was pretty sure I would know if it happened, especially if we kissed.
Sighing, I pushed myself from the door and toward the elevator.