Riven (11 page)

Jasmin rubbed her
temples. "Bloody brilliant. I thought they'd never shut up. Now
if you can just figure out a way to keep two football fields between
us and Rachel at all times we'll all have a chance of hearing
ourselves think."

Jasmin was more
than capable of being prickly, but this felt like more than just her
normal frustration at having to change her plans at the last minute.

"Are you
okay, Jas?"

I caught a quick
look at Carson before Jasmin nodded and then turned away as if the
discussion was over. Fortunately, Carson caught the look.

"I think I
see something over on that ridge that needs checked out. Jasmin, if
you can stay next to Adri then I'll just go over and have a look."

Jasmin nodded and
then we waited until Carson was out of earshot before she sighed.
"Sorry, I shouldn't be so snippy, I'm just having a hard time
dealing right now."

"With the Ben
thing?"

Even as I said it
I felt a surge of guilt. I'd only visited Ben a couple of times since
we'd flown back from Chicago. Jasmin had knocked him unconscious when
she'd been extricating him from the vampire-run auto body shop where
he'd been working. Alec had flown in several specialists and everyone
was in agreement that the damage from the head blow had long since
healed, but Ben still hadn't regained consciousness.

"Yeah. Ben's
part of it, but in some ways, that's actually the easiest part. As
long as Ben is still asleep then I don't have to worry about where we
stand. We don't exactly have a very smooth history together, so it's
possible that him still being unconscious is the only thing saving me
from another round of disappointment."

I hadn't quite
thought of things in that light. I was pretty sure that Ben had been
ready to finally give Jasmin the chance she deserved, but given some
of the water under the bridge I could understand her reluctance to
believe that he wasn't going to just run away again.

"So Ben's
only part of it then. What's the rest?"

"It's this
crap with Alec still. You remember our talk in New York? The thing
I'd lost because of Alec?"

She was referring
to the speed and strength advantage that all of the descendants of
the royal line got. Apparently it was a closely guarded secret,
enough so that she wasn't willing to explicitly mention it, even with
Carson being so far away.

Jasmin checked my
expression to make sure that I knew what she was talking about and
then shrugged. "I thought that maybe I'd get it back. You know,
now that Alec isn't subconsciously draining us all of the time. I'm
not tired all of the time anymore, none of us are, but that thing
that I lost is still gone."

All of a sudden
some of Jasmin's irritability was making a lot more sense than it had
previously. I was still feeling my way through so much of what it
meant to be part of the pack, but I knew that this was a big deal.

I didn't
necessarily like the fact that the strongest members of the pack got
to order the weaker members of the pack around, but it was a fact of
life at this point. Alec never let the dominants get away with some
of the excesses that I heard about in other packs, but it still meant
that the hybrids were king and the wolves who couldn't manifest a
third shape were peasants. I knew that Alec was working to change
that, but even if he succeeded it wouldn't alter the fact that Jasmin
was a shadow of what she'd been previously.

Even if nobody was
ordering her around she was still less capable of defending herself
than she'd been before Alec's power had stripped away her 'royal
wolf' abilities. Given that we were on the brink of a war with the
Coun'hij, it was more than likely that Jasmin would find herself on
the frontlines at some point.

"I'm sorry,
Jasmin. I didn't know. I never even considered the fact that you
might have lost...that thing...permanently."

Jasmin shrugged,
but I knew her well enough now to know that the movement was part of
the perfect mask that she presented to the world. Jasmin's incredible
beauty was just another part of her arsenal. Her gorgeous dark hair
and perfectly symmetrical features were as much a weapon as the fangs
of her wolf form. She used all of it to keep the world at arm's
length.

"There isn't
anything to be done about it now. I need to just accept that this is
how things are going to be from now on and move on with my life."

Maybe, but to me
that sounded more like a recipe for her becoming more and more bitter
as time went on.

"Have you
talked to Alec about everything?"

"No. There's
nothing he can do about it at this point and he's got a lot of other
things on his mind now."

I found myself
sighing. I was really, really bad at girl talk. "Maybe you're
right that this is just how things are going to be in the future, but
I think that you're doing him a real disservice by not telling him.
He would want to know what you've sacrificed to keep the pack safe."

Jasmin shrugged
again, but I was pretty sure that I'd finally gotten through to her.
She waved at Carson and then we spent the couple of minutes required
for him to return in silence.

As Carson walked
back towards us I noticed a difference in his manner. I wanted to say
that he was more relaxed, but that wasn't the right word. He was
more...centered. He took a deep breath as he reached us and then
smiled at me.

"I know it's
not my place to interfere with your wedding plans, but I have some
experience with gardens. I expect that Alec will keep me too busy to
actually help with the planting of everything, but if you'd like to
share your colors with me I'd be happy to plan the arrangement of the
gardens here."

It was an odd
offer, but I didn't want to offend him with an ill-thought-out
response. I considered my words for several seconds and then gave him
a smile.

"I appreciate
the offer, Carson. You're welcome to help if you'd like, but I'm sure
that Kami has people who can do all of that if your time would be
better spent doing something else."

Carson nodded.
"I'm sure that she has people who are very good at planning a
visual display of flowers, but I'm equally positive that none of them
are my match when it comes to scents. If you're going to truly
impress your moonborn guests then you'll need both. This place
already has a healthy smell to it. It shouldn't be too hard to turn
it into something worthy of your special day."

Jasmin looked as
shocked as I was, but I didn't have to think twice. "More than
just accepting your offer, I am profoundly grateful for it. I would
be honored to have you plan that part of the occasion and, unless I'm
very mistaken, I think I have a secret weapon for you that you're
going to appreciate more than almost anyone else could." I could
see that I'd intrigued Carson, but he merely bowed his head slightly
in agreement before turning to watch Rachel and Kami's progress back
towards us. Jess and Wyatt walked a couple of steps behind Rachel,
but even I could see that they were talking too much to be paying any
attention to their charge.

The quartet was
less than a dozen feet away from us when Jess shot her foot between
Wyatt's legs, tripping him in spectacular fashion. Wyatt was fast
though and managed to get a hand on Jess and take her with him.

As the two of them
hit the ground and rolled, I momentarily thought that they were about
to break out into a dominance fight. It wasn't until they came to a
stop with Jess on top that I realized they were both laughing.

Carson's
expression was grim, but I suspected that mine was just as unhappy.
Carson was probably frustrated by the fact that Wyatt wasn't holding
up his end of things as a bodyguard. I was worried about something
even more important than that. Jess was flirting with Wyatt, and
while I was glad that she was starting to regain her mental and
emotional footing, this was really going to piss Isaac off.

Alec Graves
Graves Estate
Sanctuary, Utah

Jasmin was in one
of her moods again. I could feel her staring daggers into my back as
she followed me down the hall. I'd tried to tease whatever it was out
of her several times over the last couple of weeks, but so far she'd
refused to open up.

This was a
terrible time to try and resolve whatever the issue was. I was
supposed to be at another reception in five minutes so that I could
take oaths from all of the new arrivals, but I was starting to
realize that there would never be a good time to take care of it.
Jasmin was either a priority or she wasn't. If she was, then I needed
to treat her like one.

I double-checked
our location in the house and tried to remember if we'd put any of
the new arrivals in this wing or not. I didn't think so, but honestly
it was nearly a full-time job to keep track of all of the visitors. I
finally just shrugged, took Jasmin by the arm and led her into one
of the bedrooms. If it turned out to be occupied then whoever was
there would just have to forgive the intrusion. It was my house after
all.

I flipped on the
white noise generator and then faced Jasmin again. "Okay, Jas,
spill it. What's wrong?"

"I don't know
what you're talking about, Alec. We need to get moving or you're
going to be late for your precious meeting."

"Come on,
this is me. I'd know you were lying even if your pulse hadn't just
shot up. What has you so pissed off?"

"Okay, Alec.
You want to know? I'll tell you what has me so pissed off. It's you.
Ever since you manifested your power you don't think about how any of
this will impact our pack. You're so busy taking care of Rebekka,
Louis and the rest that you don't have any time for me and the
others."

I opened my mouth
to tell her that she was wrong, but she talked over the top of me.
"Ben is getting weaker, but you've got me serving as some kind
of bullcrap honor guard instead of spending my time with him like I
want to."

That shut me up,
at least for a moment. I waited to see what else Jasmin would say,
but she seemed to have said everything she was going to say.

"I'm sorry,
Jasmin. I didn't know Ben's condition was deteriorating. Why didn't
you say something sooner?"

"You get
copied on all of the reports I see. You ought to at least, since
you're the one that's footing the bill."

"I get sent
more than eight hundred pages of reports each day. I have to pick and
choose what I read. I figured that you'd come find me if there was
something I needed to be aware of in his workups."

Jasmin still
looked like she mostly wanted to take a swing at me but she'd relaxed
slightly. "Well, I didn't think I should have to."

I realized I was
rubbing the side of my head and made myself stop. The stress
headaches were getting worse, but that didn't mean that I could go
around showing everyone that I was only days away from falling apart.

"I asked you
to stand behind me today because I was trying to elevate your
importance. The more people see you as having my ear the less crap
they should give you because they'll be worried about how I'll
respond."

"I guess I
just wanted to actually have your ear rather than just the appearance
of you trusting me."

My beast seemed
harder than ever to control these days, but I tightened up its leash
and kept my tone as reasonable as I could.

"If you want
to be one of my advisors I'm fine with that. I've been trying to give
you time and space because I knew you wanted to be with Ben. You've
got the same problem I have right now, Jas. You can't have it both
ways, you have to choose between priorities."

It was like I'd
hit her. She didn't move for several seconds and then finally looked
up at me and nodded. "You're right. I can't have it both ways.
The truth is that isn't the only thing that's bothering me."

"Out with it,
Jas."

"I lost my
royal wolf attributes, Alec. I'm no different than Jess."

It was my turn to
reel away from the impact of what she'd just said. "Are you
sure?"

"Yeah. I only
jump about two-thirds as far as I used to."

There was only one
logical cause and my throat closed up as I realized that it had been
me who had robbed Jasmin of part of her heritage.

"I'm sorry,
Jas. I didn't know what I was doing back then."

"I know. I've
been telling myself that for weeks now, but it's still hard to deal
with. I kept hoping that it was just the aftereffects of the
exhaustion from when you were unconsciously draining us, but it looks
like it's permanent."

I cast about for a
solution, but there wasn't one. I could put her under the same kind
of protection as Rachel and Adri, but she was too proud to ever agree
to that. Jasmin read my thoughts from the expression on my face and
mustered a smile as she patted my arm.

"It's okay,
Alec. I was willing to follow you back when I thought it was going to
result in my death. This is hardly a fate worse than death. It's
going to take some time, but I'll work through my crap eventually. In
the grand scheme of things, my sacrifice is a pretty small one to
help ensure that the pack survived."

"That doesn't
make it any easier."

"No, you're
right, it doesn't. I think you were right though when you said
earlier that I need to prioritize. I've been spending too much time
moping at Ben's bedside. Give me a job, something that will keep me
busy for three or four hours a day and take my mind off of everything
that's gone wrong in the last six months."

"It's a deal.
Give me a couple of days to decide where you'll do the most good, but
I promise I'll make it a priority. I always need an intelligent mind
that I can trust to help filter out the stuff that is important from
the stuff that isn't."